by Ain Soph
“The future for me is already a thing of the past- you were my first love and you will be my last.”
-Bob Dylan
CHAPTER NINE
“Alright, Luxie, here’s where it gets tricky.” Edric and I are standing on a patch of open land several miles away from the Dagger Corps base. Edric pulled over on the side of the road and said we needed to devise a plan before entering Dagger Corps territory. When I reminded him that he never makes plans, Edric let me know he prefers spontaneity but we’d have to go over a few details if I hoped to meet the commander. Apparently, they do patrols at all hours of the day, and their security is advanced enough that they will be bale to see Edric and I coming from miles away, hence our need to stop, take a breath, and plan. “In about a mile, we’re going to be visible to the Dagger Corps techs that man the control room. For being a bunch of badass warriors, they’re actually surprisingly techy. I mean, it’s nothing close to what the Artifs use, but they still have some pretty cool stuff in there.”
I blow my coppery bangs out of my eyes and sigh, “None of this is making me feel any better, Edric. I don’t understand why we can’t at least get to the outside of their compound without trouble. You’re a mercenary there. Can’t you just say that I want to start working for them too or something? When we were at Mori’s, you were basically acting like you’re best friends with the leader,” There’s a part of me that wonders if Edric is just making the situation much more dramatic than it needs to be. The ride to the Dagger Corps camp took almost five hours, and since we weren’t able to talk over the noise of the motorbike, we stayed silent the entire time. It’s obvious Edric has enough nervous energy built up to probably sprint all the way into the Dagger Corps camp, but I want to take things slow and feel out the situation- especially because Edric’s making it seem like getting in will be impossible.
Edric lets out a short laugh and smirks at me, “Adorable, Luxie.” He pats my head and I push his hand away in irritation. “They have a schedule and a list of names and a whole load of other stuff that makes your plan pretty much impossible. Mercenaries don’t live within the compound either. That’s a completely separate area.” Edric sighs in frustration, probably because he’s having trouble explaining himself, and mindlessly grabs at his hair while in thought. He slicked his hair back earlier, but it just keeps getting messier and messier. It’s like since he met up with me, Edric’s hair has been getting more out of place- and further away from Dagger Corps standards. “Okay, look, when I get a mission, I get a message saying ‘yo, come here, we got something for you,’ right? So I get that message to head to camp, and in return, the patrols and control room officers are given my name on a list with a bunch of other people who have business at the Dagger Corps compound that day. But, that’s not going to work right now, because I don’t have a mission yet. So even though I’m one of their mercenaries, I’m coming in unannounced and an unannounced merc usually spells trouble.”
I lean against the tree behind me and mull over Edric’s words. The Dagger Corps is certainly much different from the Remnants, and much different from Titania for that matter. They’re the strictest militia I’ve ever heard of. “Why go through all that trouble, though? And to not trust your own mercenaries… Was there some situation before that put all these rules into place?”
Edric nods his head and crosses his arms. I can tell he’s getting ready for a story. “We had a guy who used to work for us- not a bad mercenary, but not great either. He pretty much just flew under the radar. Anyway, one day he comes into work, saying he needs to see the commander. This guy apparently hooked up with the Reapers and decided he was going to defer to their militia (as if they even are one) and leave the Dagger Corps. So, since he works for us and is a trusted mercenary, he gets to walk right through the front gates, straight into the leader’s office where he gives his best effort toward an assassination attempt. He was stopped before causing any harm, like I said- the guy wasn’t that great, and we put him in the basement cells until we decided what we’d do with him. The merc ends up dying from unknown causes in his cell, and we never get to hear about why he formed the sudden obsession with the Reapers or any other answers to the nonsense he was spouting. Everyone kind of just assumed he snapped, and so the Dagger Corps cracked down on security in response to his insanity.”
My first reaction to Edric’s story, before curiosity or shock, is pure anger, “How could you not tell me! You had a mercenary who said he was working for the Reapers, and you never thought to mention him? You know my mission, Edric. Why wouldn’t you bring this up sooner?”
Edric scoffs under his breath and looks away, “Are you serious, Luxem? You’re going to get mad at me over this? It happened a long time ago, and the guy didn’t give us any relevant information. We don’t even know if he was actually working for the Reapers or not. He was insane, Lux. Now, can you please let go of some of your anger toward me, so we can actually carry on with the mission and maybe even work as a team?”
I take a deep breath and release it slowly, trying to control my emotions. I know my rush of anger toward him is out of line. I wish he would have told me earlier, but it’s true that nothing’s changed in my search for the Reapers because of his story. It didn’t give me any usable information. “Sorry, Edric. Yeah, we can move on. I just… heard ‘Reapers’ and lost it for a second.”
Edric looks at me intently and drops his arms down to his sides, “You know, Lux, you kind of snap whenever you heard anything about them...you get a little unstable. And I get what they did to you and your family. I understand why you’d feel like that. But, we’re on a mission right now. A mission that will hopefully put us one step closer to the Reapers. You need to be able to keep your cool, alright?” His tone is light and I can tell Edric is genuinely concerned for my mental health, but I just shake my head at him. I don’t want to talk more about the Reapers right now, and I especially don’t want to focus on my instability. It’s embarrassing.
Still though, regardless of my personal feelings, I can appreciate Edric’s maturity right now. I look at him in pleasant surprise. I’ve never seen him in mercenary mode and it seems like the frantic energy Edric built up on the drive has been channeled into the mission. Ironically, Edric’s looking well-prepared and ready for the mission, while I’m becoming more of an emotional mess by the second. I take a deep breath to calm myself before assuring Edric I’m not going to be a liability. “I understand how necessary it is to focus on the mission, and I agree we should have teamwork going on between us. I think I can contain myself at least long enough to complete this mission. So...then if we end up getting spotted by the control room or end up running into a patrol, will they just shoot on site?”
Edric doesn’t even pause to think, “Definitely,” he replies.
I sigh. The Dagger Corps is a lot stricter than I anticipated. Maybe we can use the Remnants as an excuse to enter the camp. Ulric said they were probably going to show up the next day, so by now the Dagger Corps should know the fate the Remnants met. I wonder how much they know about Project Artian. I imagine that if they aren’t the other militia involved in the kidnappings, if they really are as clean as Edric seems to believe, then they might only know about the Remnant’s involvement and maybe a few of the basic details. If that’s the case… “I know the Dagger Corps aren’t as into knowledge as the Remnants were, but they do care about having a leg up on everyone else right? I mean, that can only help them in the power struggle between militias.” Edric nods his head and looks at me with squinted eyes, trying to figure out my plan before I say it out loud. “Okay, well then how about we use that to our advantage? I was a mercenary for the Remnants. If we write up some fake letter from Ulric, we can say that’s it a top secret message from the late Remnant leader to the Dagger Corps. He gave me all the info we’d need to make the letter believable, and I know his writing well enough to copy it. He’d put notes all throughout the books I’d read in the Remnant library. As long as we stay on the outski
rts of Dagger Corps’ land, they have no reason to kill us. We wouldn’t even technically be on their land. So, we wait, and when the time is right, we’ll just hand the letter off to a patrol. Afterward, we camp out here for as long as it takes to hear a response, and then, go from there.” I clap my hands together in excitement. The plan is flawless. Complete perfection. And it took me all of, what? Five minutes to come up with it?
Edric, on the other hand, isn’t as convinced. “Okay, but what are we going to put in the letter, and what kind of response are we hoping to get from it? You told me that Ulric died how many days ago? Two days before I arrived in Timberwood, right? So, add it up. That means it’s already been about three or four days since his death. How does our timing make sense if we come here with the letter now? They’re going to think it’s taken you almost a week to deliver what’s supposed to be an urgent message.”
“Well, first of all, I think we can just say the situation as it basically is. The best lies always have some form of truth to them, so, we’ll just be honest. I’ll write everything I know in the letter and ask to set up a meeting with the Dagger Corps leader. Or, at least I’ll make it sound like Ulric’s trying to set up a meeting for me, and if they’re actually dedicated to ending Project Artian like you think they are, then I think we can expect a response. I can just say that I have knowledge in my head that’s too sensitive to have written on paper. And as for the timing, I think it’ll be alright to say that I was emotionally distraught from Ulric’s conversation with me at the Remnant camp and needed to take a couple days for myself before continuing my mission.” I’m doing my best to convince Edric. At this point, my plan doesn’t really need him involved at all. I could probably carry out the entire thing on my own, but it’ll be a lot more comfortable to have another person by my side, especially since Edric is familiar with the Dagger Corps and it’s protocols. It’s a loose plan; I know that, but it’s better than nothing. My anxiousness to get inside the camp is keeping me from fully thinking the plan through, but I still don’t think it’s that bad. I just have to hope that my emotions aren’t getting the best of me, and I’m actually making good decisions.
“Okay, Luxie, first of all,” I roll my eyes at Edric’s mocking tone and sigh, “no one in that camp is going to respect a mercenary that gave into her emotions so completely, she couldn’t even complete her mission in a timely manner. If anything, it’ll make them even more unwilling to work with you than they already are. Ulric would trust his best mercenary with a letter like that, and you’re telling me that his best mercenary is late completing her mission because of an emotional meltdown? And why do you have to make it look like it’s from Ulric in the first place? You’re overthinking things. If you’re just relaying all the information he gave you, then why have him as a middle man? Just cut him out entirely and say what you know.”
I shake my head, trying to hold in my emotions. Ironically, every time I say Ulric’s name I feel like I’m close to an emotional breakdown, so saying I needed a couple days for myself isn’t that far from the truth. I’m not a robot like Edric. I feel my sadness. Even when I don’t want to, even when all I want to do is bury it under the blanket of the mission, I still feel the sadness seeping through- the hopelessness. Hearing Edric talking about meltdowns as though they’re for the weak is making me angry and disappointed. I just don’t know if I’m feeling those emotions for him or myself. “Why would they care about some random letter from some random mercenary? Even if I’m with you, I’m still just some outsider to them. I mean, you practically seem like an outsider and you actually work for them.” Edric scoffs at my comment, but he still frowns and nods his head in begrudging agreement. “I get what you’re saying about the timing though, but we can’t help the timeline. Maybe if I can actually get a meeting with your commander, I can just explain all of this in person, and we won’t even have to worry about small details like that. Actually, if I get a meeting, I can just tell the truth.”
Edric shrugs his shoulders and starts moving his motorbike to a position that’s more hidden by the foliage of the forest around us. “Well, I guess that’s what happens when you make plans last minute. Let’s do it, Lux. I can act as your guide for Dagger Corps protocols, but basically, I’m just going to let you do what you do best- execute your plan.” Edric finishes covering the last bit of olive from his bike (the color makes it pretty easy to hide), and turns to face me with a slight grin and a quick wink, “But it’s walking from here on out. I hope you can handle that, Luxie.” Edric throws my pack at me and I catch it with a grunt.
“Well, hold on, idiot. I’m sure we’ll look real cool walking near the camp without any letter to give them.” Edric’s eyes widen as he stops walking, and he gives me a breathy laugh. Finally, Sloan can be on the receiving end of some teasing. I take a tablet and pen out of my pack and sit cross legged on the ground to start writing the letter from Ulric.
“I’d probably make it short and sweet. Our commander’s busy, and if she opens the letter and sees that it’s five pages, she’ll probably just put it down and wait to read it later. I mean, Ulric’s dead, so it’s not like it’s going to have anything in she’ll need to address immediately.” Edric saunters over and stands behind me, peaking over my shoulder to see what I’m writing. “I mean, the fact that it’s from Ulric will definitely catch her attention, but she’ll probably want to prioritize matters from the living first.”
I chew on the end of my pen and sigh. There’s a lot of information that I need to fit in a “short, sweet” letter. How would Ulric write it? He always sounded wise and direct but very gentle too. Ulric was never aggressive in anything he did. This is the first time I’ve let myself really think about Ulric since the last time we spoke, and it’s actually...giving me nostalgic feelings. I’m not sure why. I hate the man. He’s despicable, a liar, a murderer. But I still carry with me all of the good memories we shared. It’s not like we were best friends, but Ulric and I got along well, and I enjoyed reading in his study and the few conversations we’d have afterwards. We weren’t close, but I still considered Ulric a friend, and although I hate him now, the good memories don’t just disappear when someone betrays you. They’re still there, existing in your head. I miss his familiarity too- the familiarity of the Remnants actually. I became used to the routine and actually started to enjoy it. Being a part of a militia felt like I had a place in the world. Now, I’m just a drifter. I still have a mission, and I’m still fighting for a goal, but if I hit another dead end, then what’s my purpose? I already can’t bring back my family. If I can’t find the Reapers either, then why am I here?
I close my eyes and take deep breath. Count to ten. Release. Focus. I pump out the letter as fast as I can, aware of the time I’ve already wasted. Edric is laying on the ground in front of me, playing with some sort of plastic thing. I can’t tell what it is and I don’t care. All I need to think about right now is this letter. I frame the contents to make it seem like I know the name of the second militia involved with the kidnappings. That’s the information I have to meet with the commander to discuss- the sensitive details Ulric couldn’t include in the letter. “Do you think this is alright?” Edric drops his toy and I hand the letter to him, so he can give it a once over. “I tried to make it to the point but with enough information that your leader will hopefully want to set up a meeting.”
Edric nods his head and gives me a genuine smile- one without all of his Edric flair. “You’ve always been smart, Lux, I’ll give you that. I don’t know what this guy’s writing looks like, but if it’s similar to this, then I think we just might have a way in.” I return Edric’s smile and we lock eyes. He has a soft look in his eyes that I’ve never seen before, and my breath catches slightly with nerves. I don’t know what to do. I don’t even how I feel about him. At the start of this mission, I didn’t even like him as a person. Then, I found out about his mom, and everything in my head changed. I break our eye contact and look at the ground as Edric stands and begins walk
ing in the direction of the camp. I jog to catch up with him, and we fall into sync beside one another.
Edric clears his throat and straightens his back before brusquely addressing me, “So, Lux...this might be bad timing, but I’m going to take a guess and say Mori told you about my mom then?”
I stiffen. So Edric did realize I knew about his mom when I agreed too quickly to the motorbike. We only have about two miles to walk, but I wish we decided to take the bike closer. I know I can’t avoid this conversation forever, but I’m just not in the best head space right now to have it. I like having all my attention on the mission, and my work mode attitude can come across as irritated or rude. I don’t want Edric to start talking about his mom, and I seem like I’m being cold to him because I can’t snap out of mission mode.
“Yeah,” I pause, wondering if my answer sounds too short. I can’t tell if Edric is upset or relieved that I know, but I want him to know that he can talk to me without fear of being pitied. It’s a sharp change from wanting nothing to do with him, and I can tell, without much self reflection needed, that my emotions are jumping all over the place. “I feel bad about it, Edric. Believe me, I know how it feels to lose a parent. But I don’t pity you. I look at how we both handled our parents’ deaths- you throwing yourself into work, making a name with the Dagger Corps militia, and me just... bringing Lucie along wherever I selfishly decided. You focused on your goals while I became obsessed with the Reapers... while I ended up working for the very militia that kidnapped my sister. You’re stronger than me, Edric, and I’m well aware of that. You didn’t have to hide your mom’s death from me. It doesn’t make me look at you any differently.” I didn’t mean to pour out to Edric as much as I did, but once I started talking, I had a hard time finding an appropriate place to stop. Honesty seems like the easiest option in dealing with this awkward situation, and I hope my sincerity reaches Edric’s ears. I was upset at his coldness before, but when compared to me, it’s pretty obvious he’s held up a lot better in the face of tragedy.
