by Ain Soph
“So then, if we’re going to do this, and I’m going to be able to have a meeting with the Dagger Corps leader, then what’s the plan?”
My voice pulls Edric out of his own thoughts, and he briefly glances toward my while still biting his thumb. I look toward his nail, but as usual, Edric misunderstands me and smirks, “I have no idea, Luxie. To be honest, it’s probably going to best to just wing it and make up a plan as we go along.”
I raise my eyebrows at him in surprise and irritation, “First off, Edric, don’t misread me. I was starting at you chewing apart your body, so don’t get the wrong idea.” Edric drops his hand and gives an exaggerated sigh. I continue, my annoyance evident in my tone. He’s going to be a lot harder to work with than I initially thought. “And are you kidding me? That’s the best we have to go on? Have you ever even met your own leader before or are your orders just handed down by whatever soldiers are on guard duty?” I’m not exactly sure how the Dagger Corps camp works, but I know that their commander is kept in an office separate from the rest of the militant soldiers that are placed on permanent guard duty around the perimeter. The Dagger Corps leader is like a god to the soldiers and convincing anyone in that camp to let me see whoever it is will be next to impossible.
Edric rolls his eyes, “Who do you think I get my orders from, Lux? It definitely helps that I’m among the best mercenaries they have; I for one, am pretty certain not every mercenary goes directly to the leader’s office for their next mission. But yeah, to answer your question, for now that’s the best we have to go on, and trust me, things are just going to be easier that way. You start making all these plans, and when everything goes downhill, you’re out of luck.” Edric walks out of kitchen and I follow closely behind, thinking about what he said.
Is it actually netter to not have a plan? I’ve never operated that way; I make a million different plans with a million different outcomes to be ready for whatever situation occurs. But even with my careful planning, Isoline still ended up dying. Even though I meticulously planned my next move for finding Dryden (multiple times), I still hit dead end after dead end. And finally, when it comes down to it, at this point, I have more information on the Scarlet Reapers than anyone I know. That’s definitely a win- but it’s not from anything I did. Instead I lucked out, and Ulric chose me to bestow his knowledge upon. So far, planning has gotten me nowhere. Edric obviously carries out mission a little differently. He goes in blindly, deciding on his next move as he’s already in the middle of doing it. I notice Edric heading into the room I slept in last night, and I sprint in front of him and slam my palm against the door frame.
“What the hell, Edric? You have absolutely no manners. This is kind of my room right now, you know?” It’s not like I have something that Edric can’t see, but I don’t like the idea of a stranger looking at all of my belongings. Perhaps I knew Edric at one point in time, but now, he’s a stranger to me, and I don’t care to become any closer to him than mission partners. He has no business looking into my (admittedly pathetic) personal property.
Edric stops in front of my outstretched arm, not entering the room any farther. He still towers over my small frame though, and regardless of me barring him from entering the room, Edric can see everything I have spread out over the floor and furniture. “Geez, Luxie, you’re still a slob,” He pats my head while teasing me, and I push his hand away in aggravation. “If we’re going to be leaving soon, you better clean all this up. I just wanted to see how much you have to do before we head out.”
“Wait, we’re leaving soon?” I stop pushing Edric away and instead push my bangs back from my face in surprise, “What about Mori? And don’t you have to get your stuff? Did you even get a chance to visit your mom yet?” I call toward Edric as I walk across the hallway to see what Mori’s been doing this entire time. She’s passed out on her bed, a thin stream of drool connecting her mouth to the pillow. I guess she wasn’t kidding about feeling tired. I feel bad though for leaving her so soon. The past day or two has been an emotional strain on Mori- and it’s my fault.
Edric walks into the living room and drops down on one of the couches, wincing as a spring pokes him through the thin cushions, “I already have my stuff together. Don’t worry so much. I got everything here taken care of already,” he yells as I join him in the living room. I cock my head at him in confusion. Why is he already packed? Did he just not unpack yet? What is he even here for then? I walk into the kitchen to finally find something to eat. I look through the fridge, but it doesn’t seem like Mori was able to get anything that great from the market. It’s obvious the town left her with only the worst vegetable, most bruised fruits, and crunchiest breads to choose from. I much on a hard bagel that I grabbed off the counter, and sit on the same stool Edric was sitting on earlier. Maybe Edric is the type of mercenary to stay packed at all times. There are a lot who choose to live like that- permanently waiting for the next to mission to upend their lives. They never relax or make themselves feel at home in whatever location they’re in, not even the base camps of their own militias.
After finishing my bagel, I walk through the living room and see Edric leaning back on the couch with his eyes closed. I don’t know if he’s actually asleep, but I don’t want to ask. If he’s awake, I’ll just be drawn into conversation with him. His lack of care about Lucie and the Remnants involvement in her disappearance still angers me, and I don’t think we’d have a very productive conversation if I stay in the living room with him.
Instead, I head to the guest room to pack my belongings. I don’t have much- a few outfits, weapons, ammo, dried food for the road, some basic toiletries, and a picture of my family before their disappearances. To Edric, it probably looked like I have more than I do because of how sprawled out everything was. I stuff everything into my canvas pack and sling it over my shoulder before walking to Mori’s room so we say good bye to one another. Mori jumps in her sleep and slowly opens her eyes while wiping the string of drool away from her mouth. She sits up in the bed and rubs her eyes, and I thank her for letting me stay.
“I don’t know what I would have done if I’d arrived in town and not run into you. This place has too many painful memories to count, and you were honestly a life saver. Thank you so much, Mori.”
I reach down to pull Mori into a hug but she holds me back at arms length, “You’re already leaving, hon?” Mori frowns, and though I know she’s trying her best to hide it, her sadness is apparent in her glassy eyes and quivering voice. Acting has never been one of Mori’s strong suits. Her face starts turning red and blotchy as though she’s about to cry, but Mori just rubs her nose in an effort to cover as much of her face as she possibly can. Mori took care of me for years when I was a child, but now the roles are reversed and she needs me to return the sentiment and take care of her. My unannounced arrival to Timberwood pulled Mori out of the depressed stupor she had been in since the kidnappings and, regardless of the news about Lucie, I made Mori feel loved and needed, two feelings she hadn’t experienced in a very long time. Even though Mori knows I can’t stay with her forever, I can tell she was hoping for it to be a lot longer than two days. I’m leaving Mori too soon, and short of unloading her emotions on to me, Mori doesn’t have any good reason to stop me and she knows it.
I kneel beside the bed and choose my words carefully. Even though Mori’s trying to hide it, I can see that she’s hurting much more than she’s willing to show. As much as I want to, I can’t stay behind with Mori, not when there’s a mission waiting for me that can possibly be my ticket to the Reapers. I don’t want to hurt Mori any worse than she already is though, and the only way to lessen her pain is to make the importance of my mission perfectly clear to her. “Mori, I love you like a daughter, but I can’t stay. I want to, but my next mission is bigger than both of us. I have something that I need to do right now- something that might eventually give me the knowledge or even the power to be able to stop the kidnappings for good. That needs to be my focus right now. I want t
o stop what happened to you from happening to anyone else. I’m sorry, Mori.” I pull her into a hug again, and this time, Mori fiercely returns the embrace.
“I know, Luxem. I know you have important things to do and stopping the kidnappings is the most important mission you could possibly have. I don’t want what happened to either of us to happen to anyone else. I love you, baby girl,” Mori whispers in my ear, squeezing me tight. “You make sure you come back to me in one piece, alright?” I smile into Mori’s shoulder and nod my head.
“I wanted to stay a little longer, but Edric’s already packed up. Ironically, the man who lives his life on impulse is more organized for this mission than me,” I roll my eyes in mock annoyance and grin at Mori. She knew us as children. She’s knows Edric’s impulsiveness probably even better than myself. “Oh...” My eyes widen as I realize Mori most likely didn’t realize Edric’s going along with me. How long does he usually stay here? I hope this doesn’t make things even harder for Mori. “That’s what I was talking to Edric about in the kitchen. I need his help for this mission. He’s actually a pretty key piece.”
Mori’s eyes brighten and she sits up straighter on the bed, “Well now, that’s wonderful news, Luxem!” she exclaims. I hold in a sigh. I want to leave Mori in a happier state than when I came, and if that means giving her weird ideas about Edric and I, then so be it. I was worried she would be disappointed that we’re both leaving, but it seems like instead, I gave her renewed hope (except her hope is about Edric and I someday ending up together). I can hold my tongue for the time it’ll take me to say goodbye to Mori. I can do that for her. “It will be good for him to have a friend beside him right now. He’s always been too obsessed with you to make new friends or even look at other girls, so he hasn’t had much luck with anyone else getting close to him. That boy just throws himself into his work and forgets about everything else- a little like someone else I know.” Mori winks at me and I give a hesitant smile back, unsure of where she’s going. “He left Timberwood about a year after you left. No one knew where he went. One day, he was just up and gone. It was so hard for him after you and Lucie left. And I think maybe he just needed time away from everything- like you did. You two were always so similar. He’s better than that, now. He really took that time and healed whatever demons he was battling. And now, after all this time, you’re both here in Timberwood, working on the same mission. That has to be fate, right?” Mori’s eyes crinkle as she smiles. I, on the other hand, just feel guilty. If Edric left Timberwood a year after we “left”, then that means he ran away soon after seeing me in the fields. This entire time I’ve been worried about him still being mad at me; I didn’t even think about how badly I must have hurt him. Still though, while I’m glad Mori feels better about Edric, I have no idea what she’s talking about. With work, or personal demons, or needing someone- obviously there’s more going on with Edric than I’ve been privy to. I know it’s not Lucie’s disappearance giving him a hard time- he made that very clear. His apathy is the entire reason, I’m partially dreading working with him. How can I look at him and not think about his reaction, or lack thereof?
I tilt my head to the side and take a step back from Mori to think about what she’s telling me, “Mori...what are you talking about? What’s giving Edric a hard time right now? Why does he need someone?” Edric seems fine, maybe a little colder than he used to be, but he hasn’t acted like anything’s bothering him.
Mori looks at me in surprise and brings her hand up to cover her mouth. Her eyes shift around the room guiltily and she hesitantly responds, “I’m not sure it’s my place to say, Luxem. I feel awful, You two were always so close as kids, I just assumed you knew. I don’t want to cross any of Edric’s boundaries.”
I feel terrible for pressuring Mori to tell me, but I know for a fact that Edric will never tell me himself. If it was something he wanted me to know, then he would have already told me. When I told Edric about Lucie and the Remnants, I wore my heart of my sleeve and showed him more vulnerability than I’m comfortable with anyone seeing. And the entire time, he just stood there with a disinterested expression that instantly made me regret telling him anything. At the Remnant's camp, there was a brief moment when it seemed as though Edric wanted to comfort me, but it passed so quick, I don’t know if it was just my imagination playing tricks on me. “Mori, we’re going on a mission together. If something’s going on with Edric that I don’t know about, that could end up compromising us and taking the mission straight downhill. Lives could be in danger.” I’m being dramatic, and greatly exaggerating the circumstances. I doubt me not knowing whatever the information would be that big of a deal in the long run, but I have a chip on my shoulder with Edric now. It’s his business, but my anger toward him is so great, there’s this irrational part of me that feels like, in some way, I deserve to know. Then again, who knows what Edric’s hiding. I don’t know him anymore. I don’t know his secrets. I don’t know his struggles or what brings him happiness. Maybe it will be big enough to impact the mission. Who knows. At least- that’s what I’m telling myself.
Mori sighs, still looking torn. Regardless of her internal conflict, she still confides in me, “He lost him mom in a car accident a couple months back. She took a bend too fast on a slick road and crashed head first into a tree. No one knows where she got the car or where she was planning to go, but none of that really matters. At least to Edric it didn’t. The car went up in flames and the only way the body was even able to be identified was by Edric recognizing her wedding ring.” Mori’s words catch in her throat as she describes Edric having to identify the body, but she keeps her eyes trained on the ground in front of her. “I know he regrets leaving. Even though he eventually came back, it gave him less time to spend with his mom, and you know how close those two were. His father was a bit of a tyrant, but that woman was as sweet as can be.”
I stare at Mori with wide eyes. Edric’s mom was the only person he had after Lucie and I left. Her death means that he has no one now- no family, and although it makes me feel guilty to even think it, no friends. According to Mori, I’m the closest thing Edric has to a friend and we haven’t even talked for five years. How is that for friendship? I back away from Mori and give her a stiff grimace that just heightened the guilty expression that I know is written all over my face. This entire time, I’ve been so angry with Edric because he didn’t give me the reaction I was expecting when I told him about my tragedies, but Edric doesn’t even feel comfortable enough to share his with me. How am I in any position to judge him? “Thank you, Mori, for everything, but I have to go.” Mori opens her mouth to say something, but instead decides against it and nods her head at me, giving my hand a tight squeeze. I rush to the living room and pause when I see Edric still asleep on the couch. I try not to pity him. He’d hate that. But I can’t help myself. His legs are dangling over the side of the couch and his usually slicked bangs are tangled over his forehead. Edric fell asleep with his arms still crossed in front of his chest. He looks uncomfortable but peaceful, not at all like someone battling loneliness and heartache.
“You wouldn’t be checking me out, now would you, Luxie?” Edric smiles while keeping his eyes tightly shut and I jump at the sound of his voice.
“No! No, I’m not.” I say much too quickly, “I’m ready to go though, so I was just coming in here to wake you up.” I usually have a one liner as my response to his flirtations- or at the very least, more attitude. I hope I’m going to be able to maintain my composure around him. I don’t know when the best time will be to tell Edric that I know about his mom’s death or even if I should tell him that I know anything.
Edric groans and sits up, rubbing at the back of his neck and stretching it side to side, “Alright, Lux. Let’s get out of here then, yeah?” He stand up and grabs the bag sitting by his feet. “See ya later, Mori!” he yells, and Mori yells a goodbye back. Edric definitely visits her a lot more than I do. Their goodbye is casual, as though they already know they’re going to se
e each other again sometime soon. Mine had been much more formal, but then again, I have no idea where this mission’s going to take me. For all I know, this could be my most dangerous mission yet, and I’d end up losing my chance to see Mori ever again. The risk is certainly there. Edric motions for me to follow him and together we walk outside around the back of the house. There’s a compact, olive green motorbike parked in the backyard of Mori’s shack, and I raise my eyebrows, surprised I didn’t hear it pulling up to the house.
“We’re taking your motorbike? You know, I have a car we can use if-” I begin, but Edric abruptly cuts me off mid sentence.
“I don’t take cars if I don’t have to. And considering I have this baby here, I’d say it’s the motorbike or nada, Lux.” Edric leans against his bike and waits for my response. If he said this before Mori told me about his mom, I would have put up a fight. But Mori did tell me about the accident, and I now know exactly why he doesn’t take cars. I don’t want to fight him on this, so I simply nod my head and edge closer to his bike. Edric stiffens, and I regret not arguing with him- just a little. I’m acting out of character, and I’m not even realizing it until it’s too late for me to fix my mistake. I wonder if Edric is piecing anything together, if he knows that Mori told me about his mom. Thankfully, he stays away from the topic and instead, puts his pack in the side pouch on his bike. He hops on and revs the engine, while I fall in behind him. I wrap my arms around his waist and hold tight as we pull away from Mori’s, but instead of feeling embarrassed or blushing, all I can think about is my parked car left at her house and the reason why Edric wouldn’t take it.
