Jock Rule

by Sara Ney

  Treats me like a fucking pariah.

  I thought she’d be happy, for fuck’s sake, not act like I betrayed her by being attractive.

  Agitated, my leg bounces under the table, the high-end denim suffocating me, stiff because I haven’t worn it in yet. My shoes pinch, and the collar around my neck chokes.

  I did this for her, and she’s acting like I committed a crime.

  It’s just. A fucking. Haircut.

  Come on—am I that unrecognizable without the beard?

  It did occur to me when I watched the stubble rinse down the drain that I look incredibly different, but it didn’t occur to me that Teddy wouldn’t like it.

  It didn’t occur to me that she liked me just fine the way I was.

  Preferred it, apparently.

  Kind of fucked up, if you ask me, considering I looked like a goddamn mountain man—on a good day. Or Paul Bunyan or Grizzly Adams or whoever it was she likes to call me.

  She’s said so herself dozens of times.

  I wouldn’t say she’s ignoring me now, not exactly—but she’s not looking directly at me, either.

  And I’m not sure what to fucking do with myself.

  So.

  While she’s talking to the girl next to her—some girl named Jenna who squealed and clapped like a damn lunatic when she won a trip to Florida as the raffle prize—I whip out my cell phone and message the one person who can help me sort this shit out.

  Me: SOS

  Ronnie: What did you do this time?

  Me: Teddy isn’t a fan of the shaved look. What the hell do I do now?

  Ronnie: WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE ISN’T A FAN? Is she BLIND?? Does she not SEE you?

  Me: Okay, first of all, stop shouting. Secondly, no. Pretty sure she liked it before when I looked homeless.

  Ronnie: Well she’s just going to have to get over it, isn’t she?

  Me: But WHAT DO I DO?

  Ronnie: I don’t know KIPLING—you can’t go to the bathroom and grow it all back, you idiot.

  Me: You’re the one who TOLD ME TO SHAVE and now my girlfriend won’t even look at me.

  Ronnie: Do not blame this on me you little shithead. You shouldn’t have listened.

  Ronnie: Wait. Back up. She’s your GIRLfriend now? Since when? You’ve been dating for like, five minutes.

  Me: I don’t have time to argue with you about semantics, VeRONica.

  My fingers brutally attack the screen of my phone, pounding out word after furious word in reply. Why is Ronnie like this? Why can’t she just tell me what to freaking do?

  “Who ya texting?” Teddy’s sweet voice interrupts, eyes wide. I can tell she’s trying to be civil and excited. “You look so angry.”

  That’s one way of putting it. “My sister. She’s the one who told me to shave my face and cut my hair, so I’m chewing her ass out.”

  “Kip…” She looks so full of regret. And sad.

  And I can’t, for the life of me, figure out why.

  Up front, professors and department heads are taking seats in the chairs lining the stage. A technician plugs in and taps on the microphone, testing it for sound. Taps once, twice, the echo filling the cavernous room.

  “Looks like they’re ready to get started. We can talk about this later.”

  I face the front, presenting her with my profile.

  My chiseled, flawless profile, jaw set rigidly.

  The one she apparently can’t stand to look at without all the scruff.

  Gag, right? So fucked up.

  “Right,” I hear her murmur, hand fidgeting atop the cream linen tablecloth. We’re done with dinner, the usual university cuisine when they’re feeding students on the cheap: chicken breast, mashed potatoes, shitty gravy, and a vegetable medley. Brownie for dessert, none of it worth whatever she paid for the tickets.

  But.

  Whatthefuckever.

  Goddamn I’m pissed.

  My leg continues to bounce under the table, and if Teddy can feel the vibration from it, she isn’t going to say anything. I give her a fake, toothy smile when she glances over, notecards in her hand bearing the short speech she prepared.

  It’s another ten minutes before they call her name; six students go before her, each of them receiving an award, scholarship, or honor from the university.

  Then.

  “Theodora Grace Johnson, receiving the William Richards Fellowship Grant.”

  The audience applauds politely as Teddy stands. Hesitates at my side before leaning over and softly kissing my cheek. The spot tingles even after she walks toward the stage, and I touch it with my forefinger—it’s sticky from her lip gloss, and when I lower my arm and look at my hand, I see the light pink stain.

  Okay, fine.

  Maybe I won’t be that pissed off later.

  I’ll get over it.

  Teddy is shaking some dean’s hand, smiling—beaming, actually—before taking the mic and thanking the crowd.

  “Thank you Doctor Langford.” She clears her throat. “And thank you to the William Richards trust committee for choosing me as this year’s recipient.” She clears her throat again before nervously chuckling. “Um…things haven’t always been easy for me. My mother raised me by herself, and I was alone a lot while she worked. This grant is going to make a huge difference for me this year, and it will allow me to do what I love: discover and help develop the cities in which we live.” She glances up from her small, white notecards. “I also want to say…I’m thankful for my new friends.”

  I sit up straighter in my chair. She means me, right? I’m one of her new friends, albeit one who likes to get naked with her. I count, yeah?

  “And Kip, thank you for…everything.”

  Wait. What?

  That’s it?

  That’s the end of her speech? Thank you for everything? Am I supposed to know what that means?

  Thanks for the orgasm. Thanks for sucking on my tits. Thanks for keeping an eye on me at parties?

  That wasn’t a goodbye thank you, was it? Shit, what if it was? It did sound kind of ominous. Or maybe I’m reading into it too much.

  My eyes never leave her as she weaves her way back to the table, smiling and saying hello to people along the way, and I stand to pull her chair out before she sits back down.

  She faces the stage, presenting me with the back of her head, and I want nothing more than to lean over and kiss her smooth, pale shoulder.

  We sit through another ten speeches, which—miserably—takes over an hour, the button on my shirt screaming to come undone.

  Spend another few minutes in the car on our way back to her apartment. The silence is almost deafening and ridiculous and so uncalled for I can’t stop the bitter laugh rising from my chest.

  “What’s so funny?” Teddy asks, signed grant check clasped in her fingers protectively.

  “Nothing. This is just so fucking stupid, that’s all.” I put my car in park, turning to face her, arm resting on the steering wheel. “Why are you acting like this? I haven’t done anything.”

  “I guess—I don’t know. I know I’m being weird, okay?”

  “Actually, it’s not okay, Teddy.”

  She ruined a perfectly good evening, one I looked forward to all week.

  “Everything was great this morning, and now you’ve done a complete turnaround.” She came to my game, sat with Renee, Miranda, and another teammate’s girlfriend, cheered for me the entire time and patched me up afterward.

  We went for lunch before I dropped her off at home then I went for my haircut and shaved and—

  “That was before I knew what you looked like.” Her voice is small, coming from the dark recesses of my SUV.

  “I’m sorry, what? That sounds like an insult. And since when is it a bad thing for a guy to be attractive?”

  “It’s not. This isn’t about your face.”

  Could have fooled me. “Then what is it about?”

  “I honestly have no idea.”

  “Okay, so what now? What do we
do? I can grow the beard back, Teddy—I can grow it back starting tomorrow.”

  “But I already know what you look like.”

  “Jesus, Teddy, why are you making this such a big deal?” I can’t stop my voice from rising.

  Hers rises, too. “I don’t know Kip! I don’t…know. Honestly, I loved the way you looked before.”

  “Honestly, Teddy, I loved the way you didn’t judge me before.”

  “Ouch.”

  “Yeah, well, the truth hurts, doesn’t it?”

  I regret the words as soon as I say them because they come out harsh, and rude, and bitter.

  I soften my attitude. “Come home with me. Please. That’s the only way we’re going to get past this.”

  Let me change your mind.

  Every nerve in my body screams that she’s going to say no. She’s going to reject the idea, hop out of my car, and I’m never going to see her again.

  “Yes. You’re right.”

  I let out a breath, a puff of air, then clutch the steering wheel with both hands. “All right then. Great.”

  I’m so fucking relieved.

  Putting the vehicle in reverse, I take us back the way we came. Past the administration buildings. The student union and library. Away from campus and three miles out of town.

  Only when we’re sitting cross-legged on the living room floor does Teddy speak again.

  “I think…I reacted so badly because…the differences between us suddenly became so pronounced. You came strutting toward me looking so handsome and fancy, and I was standing there wearing a borrowed dress and borrowed shoes. I borrow a car—I have nothing.”

  “That doesn’t matter to me.” I say it with conviction. “And I don’t strut.”

  She laughs, stretching out her leg toward me. I take her foot in my lap and begin massaging her pretty ankle as she talks. “But it matters to me; the way we were raised and the roads we’re taking, you know? It became so very clear to me after I realized it was you.”

  “I can’t help the fact that my parents are wealthy, Teddy. You can’t hold that against me—people have been doing it my whole life. It’s a hard thing to escape. That’s why I came here.”

  “I know. I get judged too, for being poor, and I hate that. I’m not saying it was horrible being me, but my mother works in a bar—and not a very nice one. A few times we’ve lived above it, and it was loud and smoky, and I’m never living like that again. That’s why I’m busting my ass now.”

  “I don’t think we’ve talked about this, but…I’ll probably work for my dad when I graduate. Is that going to be a problem?”

  “That’s not my decision—why would you ask me that?”

  “Uh, because you’re my girlfriend?”

  “I am?”

  How did she not know that? “Affirmative. And you probably won’t be able to get rid of me.”

  “Oh.” She bites down on her bottom lip, pleased. “Well in that case, you should probably take me upstairs.”

  She doesn’t have to tell me twice.

  I stand, bending at the waist and scooping her up as if she weighs nothing—she doesn’t—and carry her up the stairs. Over the threshold to my bedroom, setting her on the edge of the bed.

  “I don’t think I got the chance to tell you how pretty you look tonight.”

  Blue is a great color on her; the dress is prim but sexy, both hugging her curves and hiding them at the same time. Her toned arms and legs are the only skin showing, but when she slides off the bed to stand on the floor and presents me with her back, I get to see more of her as I slide the zipper all the way down.

  It whirs, causing both of us to shiver when it splits.

  Smooth skin.

  No bra.

  Sensible cotton underwear.

  No frills for my girl, but that will come in time; when she trusts me and doesn’t get freaked out by expensive gifts, I’m going to spoil the shit out of her. Buy her lacey bras and panties and whatever the hell she wants.

  “God this is taking you forever,” she complains when I still haven’t slid the dress off her body.

  “Patience.”

  My hands are huge compared to her shoulders, and I love watching them glide across her skin. Love the way she feels under my callused palms—have from the first time I touched her.

  Knew she would feel this way the second I saw her standing at that keg in the living room of the rugby house.

  Hell, I think I fucking loved her the second I saw her. Period.

  When you know, you’ll know, my obnoxious sister is always telling me about finding the right girl for me, never really believing I’d sworn off of them forever.

  Dammit. I hate when she’s right.

  It’s so fucking annoying.

  She’s definitely going to be rubbing this one in my face when I see her.

  I finally get Teddy naked, hoist her onto the bed, propping her ass on the edge. Spread her legs and kneel.

  “Oh my god, what are you doing?” She’s raised up, trying to see what it is I’m doing.

  “Shh. I’m gonna show you what it’s like to have a smooth face between your legs before I grow it back. No beard burn.”

  “Uh-h o-okay,” she stutters, letting her head hit the mattress, her feet now propped on my shoulders like stirrups at the goddamn gyno’s office.

  I chuckle to myself at the reference then focus on the task in front of me.

  Man she has a gorgeous pussy.It’s not waxed like most girls are doing these days; it’s trimmed and short, with a pretty strip running up the center. She keeps the sides nice and smooth, and I show my appreciation by licking one side then the other.

  I press two fingers inside, licking her up the middle—she loves when I do that, squirms and sighs and gasps.

  Wiggles her hips and thrashes her head when I bear down, sucking her clit.

  She tastes fucking incredible, like sex and orgasms. And she’s mine.

  So sweet and kind.

  Shy but doesn’t shy away from telling me how she feels.

  It doesn’t take long for me to make her come; her lower half convulses within minutes, the shockwaves of pleasure causing her to moan my name.

  Reaches for me, pulls me up onto the bed.

  We lie facing each other, her kisses on my wet mouth a total turn-on; I know she can taste herself on my lips, and that turns me on too.

  Delicate fingers stroke the side of my face as she regards me, lying on her side. Her fingertip trails along my eyebrow, down my smooth cheek, and along the square jawline I could only hide with two years of beard growth.

  “You’re so handsome,” Teddy says at last, a small smile playing on her lips. “Pretty boy.”

  “I’m no pretty boy.”

  Now her smile is rueful. “No, you’re not, are you?”

  “I’m a mountain man, remember?”

  She rolls her beautiful eyes. “You haven’t even been camping.”

  “And I suppose you’re going to take me?”

  A laugh. “Hell no! I’m terrible at camping—although it might be worth it to see you in the woods. Do you even know how to build a bonfire?”

  “Hey, don’t make fun of me. It’s not my fault I’ve never slept in the damn woods—my parents wouldn’t know the first thing about roughing it.” A thought strikes me. “Bet my sister would go with us. She’s up for anything.”

  Teddy’s hand flattens over my abs, working its way down my body. “Did you tell her about what happened tonight? How I freaked out?”

  “Yeah.”

  “What did she say?”

  “That I never should have taken her advice and shaved my beard off.”

  My girlfriend laughs, boobs jiggling. “I don’t know about that—she’s been right about a few things. Just give a girl a little warning next time you clean up, would ya?”

  TWO MONTHS LATER

  “The Epilogue and the moment I’ve been waiting for…”

  Kip

  No warning was necessary, because
the beard is back—not as thick as it once was, but it will get there.

  I’m keeping my hair the same—shaved short on the sides and longer on the top—because quite frankly, with my bushy beard growing in, I’m kind of rocking the Viking look and it’s fucking badass.

  No one will be messing with me any time soon.

  “Babe, did you see the stuff my mom left for you in the kitchen?” My parents were just here visiting; once they heard I had a girlfriend, they didn’t hesitate to fly out to meet her from whatever city they’ve been staying in.

  “No, I haven’t. What has she done now?”

  My mother immediately took to Teddy, and in the two months since we officially started dating, she has already begun mentally planning a wedding. I don’t know how I feel about my mom’s meddling, considering Teddy and I haven’t even had sex yet, but there’s nothing I can do.

  I go with it.

  “Had some clothes sent I think, sweaters and stuff from the department store—she said to keep what you want and send back what you don’t.”

  “What? Why would she do that?”

  “Because that’s what Lilian Carmichael does.” I take a stack of folded clothes, brand new with tags, off the counter and hold them up. “See? These are for me. Half of them are too small.”

  My mom still doesn’t get that I’m six foot four and don’t wear a size large—haven’t since I was a freshman in high school.

  “She can’t help herself, babe.” I apologize. “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t apologize—it’s so thoughtful. I’ll have to send her a thank you text.”

  Between my mother and sister, the three of them have this weird group text where they send memes and jokes back and forth almost every day—most of them at my expense. Har har.

  Whatever. I’m just glad my family likes her.

  I wasn’t sure how dating her would go over with my parents at first—she doesn’t come from money and she has no pedigree. But as it turns out, my parents are just uptight and not complete assholes. They want me to be happy, and I won’t lie and say it wouldn’t have mattered if they didn’t like Teddy.

  Because it would have.

  Teddy plans to move in with me at the end of the semester, out of her apartment with Mariah and into my house.

  It makes sense, since: