Between Life & Death

by E K Bennett

  “I didn’t know your mom was into that stuff, too,” I say quietly, and Sam just nods. “But I’d like to avoid the car if you don’t mind. Too many mirrors in there.”

  I sound like a someone who’s clinically insane, denying my best friend of a warm car because of the mirrors in it. Maybe I am, and they just have me in the wrong ward of the hospital. But Sam just agrees and we keep walking. I tell her about the drawings on my walls, meeting Lissi and Natalie, their weird conversation amongst themselves last night, Samantha cutting my hair for me, seeing Lotty in the mirrors, everything.

  “And this morning I drew Lotty killing Samantha, and I don’t think there’s anything I can do to stop her,” I say.

  Sam stares at the ground, taking concentrated breaths and not saying anything. Finally she asks, “Why do you think Lotty wants to kill Samantha?”

  “I don’t know,” I whisper helplessly. “Maybe she wants to scare me, you know? Show me how powerful she really is.”

  Sam’s thinking hard, because she’s staring at the snow like she’s counting snowflakes. Her brow is furrowed when she says, “Lotty said she wanted your help. Is this revenge on you for not helping her? Or maybe she needs to kill again. I mean, she probably had a motive when she was alive to kill all those people. Maybe that motive is still there when she’s a ghost. People don’t just die and stick around because it’s fun. There’s gotta be something she didn’t do when she was alive, and you’re supposed to help her finish it.”

  “She said she wanted life, that I was supposed to help give her life. I think by that she means she wants my body or soul or something. I don’t know why she needs me, I’m not special.”

  Sam’s thinking again. “Well, you’re young. Children are more innocent than adults, so the younger you are, the easier it is to take your soul. At least that’s what I’m thinking… I can’t think of any other reason for Lotty to come to you, though.”

  “But if she wants youth, why didn’t she go to someone her age? I’m not even that young.”

  Sam shrugs. “That’s all I’ve got.”

  “She’s trying to tell me something. Either that or she really just wants to kill me. She keeps showing me these grotesque memories to draw on my walls, as if she’s trying to etch her past into my mind. But she’s never showed me the future before today.”

  Sam stands up straighter, like an idea just came flying into her face. “Maybe she needs more power.”

  “What?” I ask. “Obviously she wants power.”

  “Not wants, needs. Maybe the more people she kills, the stronger she gets so she can…you know…possess you.”

  I take in this idea, nodding. “That would make sense, actually…”

  Sam nods and it’s silent for a good two minutes before she says, “So if we stop her from killing people, we could stop her from taking over your body because she won’t have the strength.”

  I laugh dryly at the simplicity of that plan. “We can’t stop her from killing people. She’ll just kill us first.”

  “Of course we can stop her! We just need the right plan…”

  I stare at my feet. “I wish she’d just kill me already and get this over with,” I say under my breath.

  Sam punches me so hard I have to grab her shoulder to keep from falling over. “Don’t just assume she’s going to kill you!” There’s enough pain in her voice to last a lifetime, but I can’t just pretend this isn’t happening. “We don’t know if she necessarily needs to kill you to take over your soul.”

  “And that’s so much better? Not having control over what I do or say and walking around as Lotty’s little puppet? Trust me, I’d rather be dead.” I scowl at the snow.

  “Shut up!” Sam screams and stops walking. “We’re not going to let this happen, Lydia. We have to stop the bitch because you can’t just die. You didn’t do anything to deserve to die. So we have to stop her.”

  She looks like she’s about to cry. I pull my hair away from my neck to reveal the puffy skin and yell, “What are we going to do, Sam? Fight her?”

  That got her attention. She just steps back, hands over her mouth with a horrified expression on her face. “Where did you get those bruises?” She whispers, as if she doesn’t already know.

  “She strangled me,” I say and drop my hair down to cover it up again. My voice cracks when I add, “And she didn’t even touch me. She just stood there enjoying it.”

  Sam let’s out a pent-up sob, and I realize how much pain she must be in right now. Her best friend has been sent away to a rehab center/ mental hospital and is probably going to die. How could I have been so selfish? I should have just dropped it. Died quietly instead of bringing everyone into this.

  I’ve never heard Sam cry, even as long as we’ve been friends. She’s always dealt with pain through anger. Whenever something bad happened, she would just get mad and storm off to deal with it somewhere else. A car door slams in the distance and I look up.

  Someone is quickly walking toward us, and at first I think it’s an employee here to take me back inside, but the face is too familiar- it’s Adam.

  Behind him, another boy gets out of the car, along with a man and a woman, who I know to be Adam’s parents. He quickly tells them to go inside without him. “Adam, wait!” he calls. It's Josh.

  I didn’t expect them all to be coming. I figured Josh couldn’t come since he didn’t show up with Sam, but maybe I was wrong. But when Josh sees me, his face looks surprised and he runs after Adam. What are they doing here, anyway?

  “What did you do to her?” Adam screams. I shrink back, not expecting such an outburst from him. In fact I wasn’t even expecting him to be here. So.

  Under normal circumstances, I wouldn’t let him yell at me, ever. But under normal circumstances, Adam wouldn’t be yelling at me. I know he can get defensive about Sam, but he’s never yelled at me for hurting her. “Adam!” Sam objects. “She didn’t do anything to me! Back off!”

  But he ignores her. “I saw you yelling at her, what the fuck did you do?”

  “Nothing! Are you on crack?” I say and take a step back. He shoves me and I shove him back.

  “You obviously did something!” He grabs my shoulders and shakes me around.

  “Adam!” Josh yells, and pulls him back. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

  He elbows Josh and pushes me again, and this time I slip on a patch of snow and fall to the ground.

  “Jesus, Adam!” Samantha screams and punches him. “Lay off her!”

  Josh holds him back, but stares at my neck. “What happened to your neck?” he asks suspiciously.

  Sam starts crying again and Adam turns on Josh, about to punch him in the face when Sam screams, “STOP IT!” and punches Adam right in the crotch.

  He hits the ground faster than you can say “balls” and curls up protectively in the snow. Sam takes a step back, as if he might hit her, too, but he’s in too much pain.

  “Why the hell are you hitting her?” She yells at him.

  He doesn’t answer.

  “You guys are friends, remember?” Josh reminds him.

  He groans. “I’m not friends with that schizo.”

  Ouch. I draw in a deep breath and refrain from kicking his sorry ass as my mother’s words ring in my ears, from the night she dropped me off here: I don’t need a daughter who’s insane. I bite my lip to keep from crying again.

  Before I can say anything, Josh steps in. “I’m sorry, what?”

  “You asshole,” Sam spits at Adam.

  He doesn’t answer again, just stays crouched on the ground. Josh shakes his head angrily.

  “That’s what you think about the people who are stuck here? That they’re all crazy and want to kill everyone?”

  “It’s a mental hospital, dude,” he grunts, as if that makes it okay.

  “Actually, dude,” Josh mocks, “it’s also a rehab center, which is where Lydia is staying. The mental ward is a totally different section of the hospital.”

  “S
he’s fucking mental,” Adam protests, starting to catch his breath. “I saw her threaten Sam just now! I don’t care how long we’ve been friends, she’s different now that she keeps seeing things. She’s crazy and probably dangerous. I don’t even know how they let her out of that place.”

  “Adam!” Sam gasps.

  “It’s true! Don’t you guys think it’s weird that she talks about this little girl she sees in her mirror, like it’s some ghost, and you guys keep playing along even though you know she’s full of shit? She draws pictures of it, tells stories about it like it’s some legit thing! And since when does she cut herself? Yeah, blame it on Lotty. That’ll make it more logical. Why can’t you just admit that you’re fucked up?” he argues.

  That’s when Josh tackles Adam, and they’re rolling in the snow punching each other. “I can’t believe I even brought you here, you cunt!” he yells.

  “I can come if I want, it’s my parents that are driving you here every week,” he says.

  Josh’s face goes a little pale, and Sam and I pry them away from each other. Every week?

  He shakes it off and replies, “And I’m very grateful to them. But if you take one step in this hospital, I will kill you. I don’t need you offending anyone, especially my sister.”

  “Sister?” Sam actually says out loud. I’m thinking the same thing.

  Adam snorts and kicks a pile of snow. “Yeah? Well you can go find somewhere else to live, then. Once I tell them that you beat me up, they’ll kick you out faster than—”

  Sam interrupts him. “You can stay with me, Josh.”

  “What?” Adam gasps, sitting up. Sam’s done crying, and now Adam’s in for it. Because I know there’s going to be anger. There always is.

  To my surprise, Sam just helps him up and kisses him. Both Josh and I’s jaws drop and we stare in disbelief.

  Then Sam lifts her hand up and slaps him so hard, he doubles over. “I don’t know when you became such an ass, but you don’t hit my friends. You’ve changed so much since Lydia’s accident. But I didn’t know you were so opinionated, otherwise I would never have dated you. And you used to be so sweet, too.”

  “But Sam—” he starts, but she cuts him off.

  “Go home,” she orders, and turns to Josh. “Let’s go visit your supposed sister, then you can come home with me. I’ll have Adam’s parents drop your stuff off at my house.”

  The three of us turn around and start walking back to the building, and Adam grabs my hair and pulls me back. “This is all your fault,” he growls.

  “I’m sorry, Adam.”

  I push him away and catch up with the others, leaving him in a world of sleepwalkers and silence and snow.

  28. She Sees

  I catch up to Josh and Sam at the doors.

  "Guys," I remind them, "I can't go through these doors. My bracelet will set off the alarm."

  "Oh..." Sam says, pursing her lips. "Well how did you get out?"

  "Through those doors." I point to where I came in. "Security's not very tight in the rehab center. It's easy to get out through those employee doors that we're supposed to be too stupid to find. But they're locked from the outside. I need one of those key-cards."

  "Well what if we steal one?" Sam suggests with a sadistic gleam in her eyes. "We can knock out one of the therapists and steal their clothes, then we'll use her key card to sneak you in!"

  I shake my head and Josh smacks his forehead with his palm. "How about we just check in," Josh says, "and pretend we're going to see my sister. Then we can let you in through the employee doors for the mental ward."

  Sam kicks the snow. "I like my plan better."

  "That'd work, but I'm sure the security around the mental patients will be a lot better. They don't give a damn if the rehab kids get out, it's not like they do anything but sit in the lounge and mope around. I don't think they've ever thought about leaving. Plus, the only reason I knew how to get out is because I spent the past three weeks planning my escape instead of talking to anyone," I add, ignoring Sam.

  "Ha!" she taunts, right in Josh's face. "She likes my plan better, too!"

  I laugh and shake my head. "Sam, we're not assaulting a nurse, no matter how badly you want to. Just make a detour to the rehab doors to sneak me in."

  "Fine," she sighs. "See you in ten minutes."

  They set off for the front desk and I retrace my steps, at first a little scared that Adam's waiting for me to give me more crap, but he's nowhere in sight when I reach the doors. Sam seems unphased by all this, all of a sudden. Leave it to her, though, to act like absolutely nothing is wrong after having a complete breakdown. And breaking up with her boyfriend. Who happens to be a jerkass.

  Poor Sam. I'll have to spoil her if I live through all this, considering it's mostly my fault.

  The door opens and I instinctively press up against the wall in case it's actually an employee, but Josh's head pokes out and I can't help but smile. We successfully walk very awkwardly to meet up with Sam at the end of the hallway, then decide we'd better let Adam's parents know what's going on.

  "They're probably in my sister's room, still. It'll just be a minute, then we can go find that Samantha chick," Josh assures us.

  "I filled him in on everything on the way over," Sam points out.

  I nod. "Well what do you think we should do?"

  "I think you should have done the obvious, by telling her to leave the hospital right away," Josh answers simply.

  "I guess that does make sense," I say, embarrassed. I don't know why I didn't think of that, I guess I just panicked.

  We make it to the back half of the hospital, the mental ward. I've never been here before, but Josh seems to know the place as if he himself built it. It doesn't look any different than the rehab ward, but there are a lot more security guards and less people walking the halls. I pull the sleeve of Sam's sweatshirt that I'm wearing to cover up my hospital bracelet. Luckily, it's a slow day, I guess, and no one asks any questions. We take the elevator to the second floor and turn a corner. The first thing we hear is some sort of argument. We stay where we are and listen.

  "You've turned into a little shit since Lydia got sent here, Adam," says a familiar voice that I recognize to be Adam's mom's.

  "Mom, I don't care. I don't want him living with us anymore. He's too attached to that...that psycho."

  That psycho. Is he talking about Josh's sister? Me? My head is spinning.

  "Do not call people that, especially here," Adam's dad reprimands.

  "Well it's true!" Adam's voice gets louder with every word. "She's tearing apart my life, and she's not even here anymore! Sam's depressed, Josh is always worrying, all they do is talk about this stupid ghost and visiting Lydia. I swear she's doing it for attention! You honestly believe that she's cutting herself because a little ghost made her? The bitch practically got her mom arrested after nearly killing herself right in front of her friends!"

  Oh. So he is talking about me.

  "I've heard enough of this," Adam's mom says, sounding beyond pissed. "I don't care if you're my son, anyone who talks about their best friend like that is sick in the head. Maybe we should just leave you here."

  "No!" he yells. "Why don't you just side with me?"

  "Because you're not making any sense!" Adam's dad says calmly. "We're leaving, now. But first apologize to Josh's sister."

  Adam laughs dryly. "Psh, which one? The antisocial one or the bitch? Because I don't--"

  Sam and I have to hold Josh back, because he looks like he wants to kill Adam with his bare hands.

  "Josh, stop!" I whisper. "He's an idiot, just ignore him."

  We finally get him to calm down to the point where he only looks like he wants to kill Adam, not that he's going to. I peak around the corner, and Adam and his parents are gone.

  "What an ass," Sam spits, and puts a hand on Josh's shoulder. "Don' listen to him. Let's just go see your sister really quick. We can call Adam's parents later."

  Josh nods and we start
walking in silence. I subconsciously take his hand, and he doesn't pull it away. I smile.

  We stop at door 238, and Josh knocks. We wait a second, hearing nothing but a couple of words. It sounds like someone's having a conversation. "I'll cut your ankles again," one voice whispers.

  "I'm not coming out!" the other says, much higher pitch.

  "You're a wimp. You deserve to bleed. Is it because off that asshole?"

  "No," the high voice says weakly. "You don't understand. It's the lady in white. She's--"