Feeling White

by Charlotte E Hart

  “You asked, Miss Scott, and no, I restrain you to ensure you relish the feeling and learn to embrace it,” he returned as he rose to get something to drink. “I also enjoy watching your sexy as sin body fighting it and writhing in turmoil. That’s the bastard in me just playing for fun.”

  On finding the fridge, he brought back a bottle of wine and two glasses and poured. She had her eyebrow raised as if she hadn’t considered his sadistic thoughts when he watched her. She clearly hadn’t got a damn clue what she made him think of.

  “Why do I feel all drifty in it, like I’m almost watching myself from the outside?”

  Christ, he hadn’t had one of those for a while. He hadn’t any idea that’s how far she was going in. The very fact that he hadn’t even given her any help in the matter only increased his admiration for her. She was a complete miracle for him and exactly what he needed her to be.

  “Different people have different reactions to the chemicals. Some people fight them, some people actually feel quite ill and others just let their body take them wherever they need to be.” He shrugged as he handed her the glass and she brought it to her fuckable mouth. Talking about this really wasn’t helping him at all as he felt his dick agreeing with him.

  “So, will I always go there?”

  “Yes, when the reaction’s right and if that’s what I want to achieve from you.” Which he very definitely did at the moment. Stop it, White. Not enough time. His face must have betrayed him at some point in that last sentence because her expression changed to one of curiosity as she rose from her seat with that mysterious smile and padded softly across to him.

  “What do you want from me?” she asked as she knelt down in front of him and placed her hands on his thighs gently. God, he wanted inside her mouth. Just the sight of her on her knees between his legs was almost enough to make him come. Did she know? She licked her lips and glanced down at his crotch and he smiled when he realised that on some unconscious level she must. She was so in tune with his feelings that he sometimes hated to admit it.

  “What do you think I want from you?” he said as he gazed down at her.

  She slowly stood and started to remove her clothes. He exhaled a breath as her top came off and he drifted his eyes down her body. Fuck, she was a goddess. Every curve was in exactly the right place, her waist dipping in delectably before reaching the divine curve of her hips and as she peeled her jeans down her long legs, he had visions of them wrapped around his neck and growled at her.

  Her hands reached for his belt and she tugged forcefully, which made his breath change into one of lust as he watched her nimble fingers trying to release his now painful cock from hiding. Once the fly opened, she grabbed at the sides of his jeans and dragged them down his thighs until they were on the floor. Then she slid his footwear off and discarded them over her shoulder with a sexy little smile that made his cock ache even more. Kissing her way slowly back up his legs, she started to undo the buttons on his shirt with her teeth. With each one she bit him gently on the stomach and chest until finally she was inches from his face. She looked into his eyes with an expression that he swore he’d never forget. It was an announcement of a returning woman, the one he’d missed so much.

  “Is this what you want, Alex? Is it what you need?” Her mouth hummed around his as she teased him more with her tongue, never quite touching him. He bit at her jaw playfully as she began to make her way back downwards. He tipped his head backward and savoured the feeling as her delicious tongue licked and sucked its way down to his waiting hard on again.

  A groan of exquisite pleasure slipped from his mouth as hers closed gently around the sensitive head of him and he moved his hand to the back of her neck to encourage her to take him deeper. She did, beautifully, and as she cupped his balls at the same time, another groan shot from his mouth. Fuck, her mouth was so soft and warm. He really wasn’t going to last long at all at this rate. Her hand wrapped itself around him and started to glance softly up and down the length of him with that feather light touch as she mirrored the movement that her mouth was making. His head rush started as she delved deeper with her lips and he felt the back of her throat hitting the top of him over and over again. He couldn’t stop the shuddering that hitched his breath at the feel of her. Her hand raked over his stomach as she swirled her tongue around his head and delved back down again.

  “Elizabeth, stop,” he said raggedly as he gazed down at her with his cock in her mouth. He closed his eyes, trying desperately to stave off the inevitable, but she was too good at it and she knew him too well. She grabbed hold of him harder but removed her mouth and he opened his eyes again to find her watching him intently as her hand moved up and down on him hard. It was eroticism gone mad and he moaned her name as she rolled her thumb across the top of him slowly and then lowered her head again, smiling sinfully as she ran her tongue up his length and swirled around him again. He couldn’t do it much longer. It was just too much for him to watch her, and as she dragged her teeth back upwards and then plunged back down again, he reminded himself to never allow her this control this again.

  Her mouth and lips tightened around him as she sucked down hard and dragged her teeth back up. He gasped a desperate breath in. Feeling the pit of his stomach buckle under the pressure, he grasped onto her hair and forced her head upwards so he could see her eyes. Fuck, he loved her eyes.

  “Watch me,” he growled at her as he began to feel his explosion beginning and moved his hand more aggressively, forcing her movement faster and deeper. “Watch what you’re doing to me.”

  Her eyes widened as he panted heavily and felt his throat constricting around her gaze. The intensity of her actions increased as he tightened his grip on her hair and gasped again for air. He raked her head back again and pushed himself into her mouth, just to control the angle if nothing else, but as his legs began to shake, she gripped onto his thigh and dug her nails into him. That stab of pain was enough to force the last bit of control he had away from him and he gave into the eruption that was filling him with torture and sweet release. Only in the last seconds of his coming did he tip his head again and close his eyes as he pumped himself into her throat in violent spurts.

  “Fuck, yes...” The sensation was euphoric as he felt her swallowing each mouthful, earth shattering even, and as he opened his eyes to look at her lapping and licking her lips around his spent cock, he found that he simply couldn’t move. He was so transfixed on her form as she slowly wandered her lips up his body and eventually kissed him softly that he just sat there and let her do what she pleased. The taste of himself on her mouth made him feel a primal need that he couldn’t remember feeling before, so he grabbed her suddenly and flipped her onto the floor, intending to show her exactly what that feeling was, even if he couldn’t explain it himself. She squealed in shock but relaxed around him immediately as he continued to kiss her passionately. He felt so desperate to hold her close and feel her wrapped around him that he couldn’t think of anything else.

  She slowed the kiss quietly and gently pushed at him but he wasn’t ready to stop. In fact he’d only just begun. He wanted more and he was damn well going to take it. She pushed harder.

  “Alex, we have to get ready,” she said into his neck as he bit harshly onto her shoulder and she moaned out in pleasure. “God, Alex, no, this is important,” she said as she tried to get up. He smiled into her and moved down to her breasts, licking luxuriously as he went and savouring each mouthful.

  “So is this,” he replied as he held her wrist down to stop her getting enough purchase to move. She kept squirming, which was just fucking stupid because it just heightened the game for him, so he growled at her as he pushed more of his weight onto her and continued his path over her skin.

  “If I have to safeword you, I’m going to be pissed. I refuse to use it unless absolutely necessary,” she threatened. He laughed at her response and lifted his hand from her wrist as he clambered reluctantly back up her body to her face. “Thank you,” she said
as he kissed her softly.

  “I just wanted to have some more fun with you,” he said as he ran his tongue across her salt-laden lips and groaned at the memory of them around his cock, which was rapidly growing uncomfortable again.

  “You just wanted to avoid going out, Mr. White, and as wonderful as it would be to have you inside me, I did what I did for you. You can have your own way later,” she said with that gorgeous smirk.

  “Don’t you want to come, Elizabeth? You know it won’t take me long. Don’t you want to feel my fingers inside you, my tongue? Fuck, I want to bite every inch of you and...” he said as he raised his head to move downward again. She used the split second to roll from underneath him and bolted for the bathroom. He lunged for her and missed, which pissed him off immensely. She slammed the door in his face as he got to the door, and locked it. “Witch,” he groaned at the door as he banged his head on it and regrettably resigned himself to the fact that they were indeed going out. Out to deal with feelings that he wasn’t in the least bit ready to think about. Having said that, he was less tense than a while ago. Had she done that to him, just for him? Did she understand him that well? Probably. She seemed to feel things even before he did some of the time. He scowled at his own thoughts. How could she understand any of the shit that was in his head? Even he didn’t comprehend it most of the time.

  “Too slow, Alex. Getting a bit stiff in your old age, I think.” She giggled through the door as he heard the shower start.

  “You’re going to regret this, Elizabeth,” he shouted at her as he left for the other bathroom, chastising his own temper tantrum as he went. Christ, he loved her.

  “I should hope so,” she called back in a relaxed fashion. His eyebrow quirked as he looked back at the door sharply with hunger looming again. He could break it down, he supposed… That could work. Maybe not.

  “Down boy,” he said softly to himself. “Later.”

  ~

  The car was idling across the road from a small, white, detached cottage on a country lane in the middle of nowhere and he looked at her with his head tilted back on the headrest. She watched him carefully all the way here, but hadn’t probed him on his feelings again, just let him stew in his own thoughts and find some clarity. He’d realised that the tremendous dick sucking had definitely been a way to calm him and make him feel close to her, to give him that safety net that she seemed to offer, and it had worked because he’d spent the entire journey trying to work out what he wanted to tell her. She didn’t know nearly enough about any of this to be comfortable with what could be about to happen, and he cursed himself for not being more open with her. She was so good at helping him. Did she even know how much peace she gave him? The word made him smile. It was a word he thought he’d never use with regard to himself. He gazed over at her and waited for her to turn to him.

  “I feel confused, angry and nervous,” he said as reached out and brushed his fingers across her cheek. When she eventually turned, she surprised the hell out of him by launching herself onto his lap and straddling him, but he smiled at her as she kissed his nose.

  “Can I do anything to help?” she asked with another soft kiss.

  “You already are helping,” he replied as he tucked her hair behind her ear. “You’re here.”

  She beamed back at him and then looked across at the cottage with a frown.

  “Are you ready to go in?” He followed her stare. Was he? Hell if he knew, but there was no going back now.

  “I think so,” he replied. She kissed him again and giggled as she slid off his lap, grabbing her coat as she opened the door. He got out and met her at the back of the car.

  “That was quite cool,” she said, still giggling. He quirked his head. What was she talking about? There was fuck all cool about standing out here.

  “What?”

  “You... thinking so hard. I mean, it’s normally me thinking. You’re always very definite about things, all like, Are you ready Elizabeth? While I’m all, I think so. Guess I must be in control at the moment.”

  He chuckled and felt the pit of his stomach drop. In a way, she absolutely was. Strong, completely commanding her feelings and using every piece of that strength to help him stay focused, and he’d told her nothing about what she might find out in a minute, not given her a single piece of fucking information to let her know how much she meant to him.

  He had to tell her something, anything.

  “Elizabeth, I don’t know what I’m going to get in here. This could be anyone. Please tell me that no matter what you hear, you’ll wait for me to explain anything you don’t understand,” he said as they began to walk towards the house. She looked at him with a perplexed expression, that beautiful smile replaced with bewilderment, or perhaps doubt. He sighed. She hadn’t got a clue what he was talking about.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” He felt his feet shifting and his body tensed. He hadn’t told her about his name. He hadn’t told her all the details of his father or about his mother’s apparent suicide. Shit, what had he done, bringing her here with no information? She took a step closer to him. “Regardless of what happens in there, Alex, I love you. I will always love you.” He doubted it immediately but just tried to believe that she’d understand. She had to because he sure has hell wasn’t going to lose her again.

  “I love you too, more than you could ever know,” he said as he got to the door and knocked twice, somehow trying to knock his shaking hand away.

  They waited for several minutes before the door hesitantly opened and a small woman answered and stared at him. Her hands suddenly shot to her mouth and she burst into almost hysterical sobbing tears. Alex immediately reared back and looked down at the woman with apprehension as he let go of Elizabeth’s hand, thinking that he might have to catch the woman or something. She thankfully sniffed back the tears after a few minutes and looked back up at him.

  “Nicholas… My god it’s you,” she said as she threw her small arms around his waist and hugged him tightly. He didn’t know what to do in the slightest and just stood there with his arms out by his side, trying to decide whether he should return the hug or not. Touching had never been his greatest emotional response so eventually he settled for a slight pat on the back. She was obviously distressed and the last thing he needed was her having a heart attack. The fact that she knew his name was a reasonably good start, he supposed. She seemed to compose herself as she took a step back and peeked around his side. He felt his heart clench in fear at the thought of Elizabeth and what the hell she would be thinking as he turned to look at her.

  “Mrs Peters, this is Elizabeth Scott, my girlfriend,” he said as he searched her eyes, hoping to god that it was still the case. She stared back for a moment with a shocked expression and then turned to the small lady.

  “Nice to meet you, Mrs Peters,” she replied politely with the warmest smile she could find, given her clear confusion. He continued his gaze across at her and silently begged for forgiveness. She didn’t deserve to hear this information in this situation. He should have told her before now, and unfortunately her returning gaze wasn’t as consoling as he’d hoped for so he sighed and turned back to Mrs Peters.

  “Come in, please, come in. Where are my manners?” the woman said as she ushered them with her hands and then wiped her tears again. He ducked to get through the door and followed her through to a small kitchen that looked like it was still stuck firmly in the 1980’s. It was immaculate, nonetheless, and she pointed them to chairs. She stared at him again for a moment before moving across to the kettle. “Tea or coffee?” she asked pleasantly as she fiddled about with cupboards.

  “Tea, please,” they both said in unison. Clearly Elizabeth also hated instant coffee and he smiled at yet another similarity.

  They all sat in very uncomfortable silence until the woman placed their tea in front of them and brought over some sugar and milk. Alex glanced around the small space and wondered what he was about to find out. Who was this woman? He pondered reac
hing for Elizabeth’s hand and then decided against it. He seriously didn’t know how pissed she was at the moment. Unbelievably, as he dismissed the thought, her hand found his under the table and he looked across at her with a small curve of his mouth. She didn’t return it with as much enthusiasm as he would have liked but then she had a right to be slightly irritated with him so he just turned back to the woman again.

  “I’ve been searching for you for so long, I’d almost given up hope,” the woman said quietly as she sipped her tea. Alex narrowed his eyes.

  “Who do you think I am? And what am I to you?” She looked at him for a minute with a frown and fussed with her wedding ring before she answered.

  “I think you’re Nicholas Adlin, and if you are then that would make me your aunt, your mother’s sister and a horrible, terrible person.” His eyebrows shot up at her admission and he grabbed onto Elizabeth’s hand tighter as she scooted closer to him. He couldn’t speak. His mother didn’t have a sister and why the hell was she a terrible person?

  “I don’t understand. I am Nicholas Adlin but my mother didn’t have a sister. I would have found her if she did.” He’d searched for years for more family, but eventually he’d just given up. Even Jacobs couldn’t find anything remotely plausible.

  “I can assure you she did. I dare say your bastard of a father neglected to tell you about my existence. I know he deleted every record of my life and truthfully, I was glad of it. It meant he couldn’t find me,” his apparent new family member replied with venom lacing her every word. He instantly knew she was telling the truth but struggled to process the information regardless.

  “No, he did not, and I’m sure he could have removed your information if he’d wanted to,” he seethed quietly, yet another thing to hate the bastard for.