Feeling White

by Charlotte E Hart

  “Teresa, please!” I exclaim as I try to turn the dialogue back to my sister and not the, okay very attractive, barman, who does have a great arse.

  “What? That’s a fine piece of arse - credit where it’s due.”

  “Clearly, but that’s not the point at the moment, is it?” I reply as I glare at her and turn towards Belle again.

  “Yes, you’re right of course, but Christ, I haven’t been seen to in ages. It’s actually getting painful down there. Do you think I could just get in a quickie before we...?” Oh for god’s sake.

  “NO!”

  “Okay. Wow... Calm the fuck down. It was just a question,” she says as she shuffles about so she can face us again while faffing her dark pixie cut around her face again. Belle snorts in amusement so we both turn to her, thankful for some sort of giggly sound from her.

  “So what’s going on?” I ask as I look at her and try to see what’s behind her eyes. Is it anger, hurt, betrayal? No idea. She always was like a wall of concrete when it came to emotions.

  She sighs and opens her mouth. Unfortunately, the return of the barman stops her so we wait until he’s disappeared again and look back to her for the continuation of whatever she’s about to say. Wall of concrete has suddenly reappeared. It’s not helpful.

  “Come on, spill it. We can’t help if we don’t know what’s going on,” Teresa says as she bumps her elbow into her and smiles. “If he’s being a prat then at least let us know what he’s done wrong.”

  Belle picks up her drink and takes a few small sips before sighing again.

  “I think he’s having an affair.”

  What? Absolutely not. It’s just not him. Well, I don’t think it is. Why would he do that? He’s just asked her to marry him. It’s not possible.

  “No, he wouldn’t. You didn’t see him before he asked you. He was a nervous wreck about asking you. He loves you. You’re just being paranoid.” She looks back at me in amazement.

  “You knew?”

  “Well yes, but that’s irrelevant at the moment, isn’t it? Anyway, why on earth would you think that?”

  “All he does is talk about her. It’s fucking constant, like she’s some sort of genius or something, which she probably is given her brother, but I’m sorry, it’s not fucking acceptable and I don’t know what to do about it,” she seethes as she sips again and crosses her legs.

  “Who are you talking about?” Not a clue.

  “Evelyn sodding Peters.” Oh, that is a little concerning. Alex’s sister does seem to have a thing for Conner, but he wouldn’t, would he?

  “And this would be who?” We both swing our eyes to Teresa. Have we not told her about this?

  “Alex’s sister - well, half sister. She works for Conner,” I reply as I gaze back at Belle and wonder what it is that I’m supposed to say to her.

  “Alex has a sister? When the hell did this happen? We really haven’t spent enough time together.” No, probably not to be honest.

  “Look, honey, she is very senior in his company and unfortunately appears to be very good at what she does so I’m sure he just needs to spend a lot of time with her. It doesn’t mean anything’s going on between them.”

  It’s all I’ve got. I can’t give her anything else because I’m just not sure. The only person other than the two involved who would possibly be able to answer the question is Alex, and I’m not even sure he would know. Would Conner hide this from him, given the family connection? I can’t even believe he’d do it but it is a possibility and Miss Peters is indeed very attractive. Balls, this is not good.

  “Well, have you confronted him about it?” Teresa asks as she downs her drink and signals to the peroxide blonde waitress to get us some more. I’ve hardly touched mine. Belle downs hers as well as if she’s on a roll of binge drinking. Unfortunately, I have this thing to go to with Alex so I won’t be participating in drunken pursuits today. I can’t believe I forgot about it to be honest. I so hate looking like a fool, especially after the morning’s activities.

  “No,” she replies quietly as she looks into the bottom of her glass and I swear I notice her sniff back tears.

  “Belle, I really don’t think you need to be worrying about this. He loves you. He asked you to marry him in front of a room full of his employees and friends, and her I might add. If he was doing anything with her, do you honestly think he would have done that?”

  “I don’t know anymore. I just feel like I don’t know him at all sometimes, and his constant Evelyn this and Evelyn that really isn’t helping my damn nerves on the matter. I just shouldn’t have damn well entertained the idea of doing this with him.”

  “What?” both Teresa and I shout incredulously at the same time.

  “That’s fucking ridiculous, Belle. He’s wonderful and-”

  “Is he? Really? You don’t know anything about him, Teresa, and nor do I. He’s got secrets and a past that he won’t let me in to. He’s manipulative, short tempered, actually a damn lunatic with his temper. Yes, he’s utterly fantastic in bed but that doesn’t mean I’ve got any fucking clue as to whom Conner Avery is. And yet I stupidly said yes to marrying him, for some unknown reason. Is that the sort of man you’d want to marry?”

  We both stare at her with open mouths. Okay, I knew Conner had a temper but I hadn’t realised Belle had witnessed it so vehemently. They’re supposed to be happy and in love. Mind you, so are Alex and I, and we’re regularly doing battle as well. Maybe Conner’s as screwed up as he is. I never thought of him as manipulative though, and while I clearly don’t know everything about him, I just assumed he was quite a happy chappy really. Maybe his past is entwined with whatever Alex has been up to? No, he said that Conner found him again and pointed him back in the right direction, meaning that they had been apart for a while. But what past could he be hiding from Belle, and why?

  “Right,” is all that comes out of my mouth because I seriously can’t answer that question. Teresa closes her mouth and then picks up her newly delivered drink. I’m not sure when they arrived.

  “Quite,” she replies with no other comment on the matter.

  “Do you want me to ask Alex? He might know.”

  “He might but do you think he’d tell you the truth if he does? Brothers together and all that. They might not be related but given the code of their little bond, can you honestly say he’d rat out his friend?” Teresa replies as she narrows her eyes at something in the background.

  It’s a good point but I think he would tell me if I pushed him. He said he wouldn’t lie to me and he knows I’d leave him if he did. This dominant thing around him really does seem to work and I’ve definitely had to put up with enough shit from him so I’m assuming he would tell me something as important as this. Maybe... Actually, I’m not sure. Clearly his manipulation knows no bounds when he needs it. This could be a time when he very much needs it.

  “Well, I think he’d tell me - if he knows anything, that is - but I also think he will say that there’s nothing going on between them. The only thing he’s ever said about Conner and relationships is that he never cheats on anyone. I really can’t see that it will be any different now that he’s asked you to marry him. Why would it? If you’re not a cheater, you’re not.”

  Unfortunately this brings images of Alex and Caroline sodding Anderson flying into my brain. Alex clearly is a cheater - well to his friend anyway. Bastard. Has he apologized for that shit yet? Maybe now would be a good time, because that would be a lovely conversation between them:

  “Hey, are you screwing my sister behind my girlfriend’s sister’s back? And by the way, sorry for fucking your ex behind yours. Glad you forgave me though.”

  Yes, very pleasant. Actually, that sounds a little incestuous if I’m honest and just a bit weird. There are far too many sisters in that statement for my liking.

  “No, he wouldn’t, Beth. He might love you but he wouldn’t tell the truth about this. He’ll more than likely say something like, ‘It’s none of my business,’ the
refore neither denying or confirming that Conner is indeed a cheating bastard.”

  “Teresa, that really isn’t helping,” I scathe at her as I take a large gulp of my drink and glance across at Belle, who looks as depressed as I’ve ever seen her. My heart cringes at the thought. Just as she’s lets her emotions go, Conner screws it up? I don’t believe it. “This is ridiculous. The guy adores you so I’m going to call him, or go and see him. You’re right. It’s not fair to put Alex in that position so if you won’t confront him then I will.” They both stare at me. Belle slowly arches her incredible brow.

  “You. Will. Not.” If looks could kill I would be dead.

  “Well you’ve got to do something. Sitting around here and stewing about it isn’t going to fix anything and it sure as shit isn’t going to give you any answers. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in the last few months, it’s to ask for what I want,” I reply forthrightly. Why Belle is pissing around is completely unknown. The woman’s known for her lack of tact, always straight to the point. For God’s sake, she’s behaving like... well, me, or who I used to be, pre Alexander White.

  “Clearly, Miss Kinky,” Teresa giggles as she flicks her hand in whip motion. “You go with your new found forcefulness. Take a cat o’ nine tails with you.”

  Belle growls at her, then me. Neither of us can stop the grins that fly to our faces.

  “Did she just growl? When did that start happening?” Teresa asks. I giggle in reply and take Belle’s hand in mine.

  “Come on, honey. Just go and see him and ask him straight out. If he’s anything like Alex, he’ll be crap under pressure from you. Just look him in the eye and challenge him about it.”

  “Beth, it’s not that simple, and while I appreciate your support, I can’t just stomp in there and accuse him of this. I’ve got no evidence and he’ll go crazy, and... well… he scares me a bit if I’m honest,” she replies as she hangs her head.

  Oh! That’s not good. Marcus the dick skips through my head, smiling like the cock he is as images of Belle with bruising all over her erupt. My eyes narrow at her as fury spreads across my skin. If the bastard’s hit her I’ll kill him.

  “Has he hit you? Are you telling me he’s capable of...?” Her face flashes to mine.

  “No! God no. I don’t think he would do that, but... I don’t know. He just gets... Oh, I don’t know how to explain it.” I do. He’s clearly just like his friend He might not need the sadistic preferences but he obviously is just as screwed up in a different way.

  Jesus, why didn’t we just meet normal ones?

  “Well fuck him then. Leave,” Teresa says from the side. She could have a point. Belle is not up for this type of behaviour, and he certainly shouldn’t be putting her through it given that he knows some of what happened to her in the past because I told him.

  “I don’t want to leave.”

  “Well, well, Alexander’s little innocent… Eliza, isn’t it?” What the hell?

  We are rudely interrupted by a female voice who is clearly directing her jibe at me. I swing my eyes round to see who the dig is coming from and am greeted by the very unfairly beautiful Cecily Winchester, who definitely knows that is not my name as a smug smile slips across her face. Does she have to look so damned gorgeous in her Prada apparel, all long legs and dark, silky hair? I try my best to seem unaffected by her presence but can’t help fidgeting with my top in the hope that I look casually elegant. At least my girls are here.

  “Cecily, what exactly do you want?” Again, I try for casual given her status with a mob boss or whatever he is, but the sneer that leaves my mouth is definitely not pleasant.

  “Don’t be so hostile. I only came to say hello. We move in the same circles and I thought I would see how you are.” We so do not move in the same circles, bitch. My come-back seriously wants to be FUCK OFF! However, I control the urge and regain some element of nice.

  “Fine, thank you, but sweet as that is, I’m in the middle of a private conversation at the moment so I’m afraid we’ll have to leave it for another time.”

  There, that’s enough. I’ve got no more anyway to be honest.

  “Well, yes, if we must. Perhaps we could have lunch sometime?” she replies. It’s actually quite nice and I narrow my eyes at her because she’s absolutely playing some sort of game with me. These sodding twilight people that live in Alex’s world seriously don’t know how to be normal.

  “Yes, perhaps we could.” Not a fucking chance. She nods at me and quickly scans my girls, who to be fair on them are throwing as many lovely daggers as they can without being overly rude. My eyes notice a man in a black suit approaching in the background and I can’t stop the feeling of dread that sweeps through me at his presence. I can’t even work out why. I don’t know him and have never seen him before, but before I know it, my insides feel like they’re churning in fear. It’s something about the way he’s moving, overbearing or maybe arrogant, long strides moving purposefully as if he’s about to kill anything that dares defy him or get in his way. It’s all very Alex, but without my ability to see behind his physical presence.

  His dark brown hooded eyes and rich brown hair glisten under the dimmed lights as he narrows his gaze on me and stares without any hint of apology. It’s highly disconcerting. He’s clearly in complete control of himself and the space around him. Unfortunately, as he reaches the table and looks at me, my eyes fly to the floor. He chuckles in amusement at my clear ineptitude, which instantly has me fighting my own neck to look back at him as I rub my bracelet and think of Alex’s reaction.

  He’s not that tall really, not that attractive either, but there’s just something about his demeanour. It’s extremely cold, very calculating and obviously quite lethal. He scares the living crap out of me for some reason if I’m honest, and I very quickly realise that this is quite possibly Aiden Phillips.

  I keep my eyes focused on his and try to maintain some sort of control about myself, but Christ, the man looks like some sort of living evil incarnate. And then he smiles. Oh my god, his face lights up like a fucking Christmas tree. Gone is the potential danger and suddenly there’s only a man who would cause women to throw themselves at his feet. It’s the quickest transformation I have ever seen. Cecily leans into his side as she suddenly becomes aware that he’s looking at me and regardless of my fear, I can’t help but feel a little amused by her jealousy. It gives me a much-needed boost of self worth and I realise that I can deal with this man. I can deal with Alex and Pascal for god’s sake and they’re frightening enough, and at the same time I might add, together, so to speak. I’m such a slut.

  “Who do we have here?” he asks as he eventually breaks eye contact with me and looks across at my girls. I blow out the breath I was holding and stare at Cecily, who’s now grinning like the cat that got the damn cream.

  “Aiden, this is Eliza, and I’m not sure who these are. Eliza is Alexander’s new thing,” she very kindly says, nonchalantly waving at my girls. I still hate her.

  “It’s Elizabeth actually,” I mumble in response as I glare back at her.

  “Oh, is it? Silly me. Sorry.” Bitch.

  “Ah yes, Elizabeth Scott. This must be your sister, Annabelle, isn’t it?”

  Why the hell does he know who we are? My hackles are on instant alert. Okay, I might have met Cecily once and Alex clearly knows the man for some reason, but how does he know my surname and why does he know Belle’s name at all? My eyes flick to Belle and Teresa. Teresa’s got bitch eyes firmly focused on Cecily but unfortunately, Belle is actually smiling her best I want you face. She suddenly stands and offers her hand to him, which he takes, still with that same overly wonderful smile. I have no idea what’s going on between the two of them but I’m really not happy about this little conversation.

  “Please call me Belle,” she says with a hint of sexiness thrown in. Cecily scowls at her and wraps herself in tighter. He abruptly pushes her away like she’s completely irrelevant and continues to look at my sister. I’m not sure
what game she thinks she’s playing but we’re not participating in it a moment longer.

  “Aiden, it was lovely to meet you but we need to get going I’m afraid,” I say as I rise from the booth and nudge Teresa. She instantly stands and grabs her coat. Good girl. Belle scowls back at me so I smile as sweetly as I can manage and hope to hell that she just gives in and comes with us.

  “Shame,” he says as he continues his assault on Belle leisurely, his brown eyes flashing with open interest as his fingers run across hers. “I was hoping for some entertainment.”

  Absolutely not. I’m not even sure what to say back to that. Does he think he’s going to get an orgy or something? Okay, I’m now into that sort of thing but not with a drugs baron or possible mafia king, regardless of that deceiving smile. His continued stroking of Belle’s hand and step toward her indicate that that’s exactly what he was thinking, and she’s falling for it, or revelling in it. Shit.

  “Yes, well, lovely as that might have been, we all have things to do so if you wouldn’t mind releasing my friend, we’ll be on our way,” Teresa says as she grabs Belle’s other hand and practically drags her away from the guy. He chuckles again and nods at my feisty little friend as he pulls Cecily back to him.

  “Do call me about lunch, Elizabeth,” she shouts at me as we hurry Belle and ourselves towards the door. Not a hope.

  “Will do,” I reply in my most casual voice as I shove Belle out the door, still beaming at Aiden. On reaching fresh air and the safety of the street, I gape at her.

  “What the bloody hell was that?”

  “What? He’s cute,” she says as she wanders toward the road, swinging her hips.

  “Cute? That’s Aiden Phillips. There is nothing cute about a man who hurts, possibly kills, people for a living and deals drugs out to the entirety of the planet.”

  “Actually, he was quite sexy. Maybe it’s the danger thing, or maybe I’m just horny,” Teresa chimes in. I roll my eyes at her and push them both forward again.

  “Anyway, how do you know that bitch?”

  “Same circles apparently,” I mumble in reply. I can’t even begin to process a conversation about Alex knowing her, or him for that matter.