Battle Axe

by Carsen Taite

  The next dancer to take the stage looked promising, but her name was Yvonna Hump. She had the same body type as Laura, aka Lana, but instead of blond hair, she sported flaming red waves. No way it was her natural color, but I’d have to wait until the lights went up to see if she was my gal.

  “You like what you see?”

  The voice came from behind, and I was certain I was about to be sold on the virtues of a good lap dance. I held up a hand to wave off interest, but the woman grasped it rather than walking away. “I think I’ll have a seat and see what you find so captivating.”

  Now I recognized the voice. Diamond. “What the hell are you doing here?”

  “Better question is what the hell are you doing? I thought you were going to find Amato and Picone? But instead, here you are getting your thrills watching cheap dancers.” She pointed at the stage. “She’s pretty hot, even with the fake hair color, but if you wanted a show, you have my number. Don’t you know I’m an accomplished performer?”

  She was, although I’d never seen her dance. On a stage, anyway. She’d started her last undercover gig as a stripper in one of Yuri’s clubs, but had quickly morphed into socialite when he’d chosen her to become his arm candy at high society events. I’d never had a chance to see her dance, but I had seen her perform in other ways that convinced me of her flexibility. Tonight wasn’t going to be one of them. I was focused on my long-term success and a little leery about the fact she seemed to be spying on me. “Why don’t you buy me a drink?”

  She signaled the waitress and ordered drinks for both of us. And she paid. The night was improving drastically.

  “Anything to report?” she asked.

  “Nope.”

  “Really? Bingo didn’t have any information for you?”

  I struggled to hide how pissed off I was at the confirmation she’d been following me. I decided to punish her by withholding info. “Nope.”

  “Surprising. I thought he was connected.”

  She could goad me all she wanted, but I wasn’t giving up intel until she did. “Tell me more about why you are so interested in Geno.”

  “Seriously? He’s a mobster? Isn’t that enough?”

  She tossed off the comment, her eyes trained on Ms. Hump. I waved a hand in front of her face. “Uh, no. He’s always been a mobster. Why now? Is it because he’s into something new?”

  Her face lit up. Damn, I hadn’t meant to say that last part out loud, but it was too late. She latched on and wouldn’t let go.

  “So you did find out something. Care to share? There might be more in it for you than the bounty on Geno’s guys.”

  “Oh yeah, like what?”

  She licked her lips. Really? She was great, but I didn’t need to catch bad guys to get laid, and I told her so.

  “All right then. What do you want?”

  I looked up on stage and she followed my glance. The music was winding down and so was Yvonna, but like a true star she gave it her all and wound herself around the pole one last time. As she curved her body up and over, her hair color morphed from red to blonde. It wasn’t a magic trick. Her wig started to slip, and she almost fell when she released the pole to try to push the wig back into place. The DJ caught the action and cut the lights and music before we could witness her complete demise.

  I turned to Diamond. “That’s my jumper. You want my help, then help me get her.” I didn’t wait for a response, didn’t expect one. I jumped off my stool and strode to the dressing room. Barrel-chested bullet stopper was in position. “I need to see Yvonna. It’s very important.”

  He didn’t bother with words, but he held out a hand and shook his head.

  Diamond’s voice cut through the crap. “We’re here on an important federal matter. She has information crucial to our nation’s security.”

  I looked over my shoulder and tried not to laugh at Diamond’s look of exaggerated importance. Oh, and the badge she shoved at the big guy. That almost sent me over the edge. I looked back at big guy and muscled a stern look back on my face. “She’s right. It’s imperative that we speak with her immediately.”

  He looked from me to Diamond, probably assessing whether we were kooks or cops. Finally, he stepped aside and motioned us through. Once we were a few steps away from him, I whispered in Diamond’s ear, “‘Crucial to our nation’s security’?”

  She shrugged. “It worked, didn’t it?”

  I ignored her comment and pushed the double doors that led to the dressing room. This one looked just like all the others. Worn tables with bright mirrors and clothes strewn on every surface. I counted four girls before I lasered in on the one I was after. I silently willed Diamond to follow my lead.

  “Yvonna?”

  She didn’t respond, so I took a step closer and tried a different tack. “Laura?”

  That got her attention, but not in a good way. Even in a thong and five-inch heels, she was faster than me. She dashed to the opposite side of the room, but Diamond was waiting there and blocked her exit through the fire door. Talk about fast. She must have moved when I wasn’t looking. I mouthed a begrudging thank you. She nodded and then leaned down and whispered something in Laura’s ear, which seemed to deflate her enthusiasm for flight. They even seemed to get cozy for a minute, and I saw a flash of burnt orange as Laura reached her hand inside Diamond’s jacket. I strode over to assess the situation—she was my jumper, after all—but by the time I reached them, they’d finished their cuddling. Despite shouts from the other girls warning her not to go with us, Laura accompanied Diamond out of the club without resisting. I followed like a useless appendage.

  When we finally reached the parking lot, Diamond thrust her toward me. “Do your stuff.”

  I cuffed Laura and put her in the backseat of the Bronco. Before I joined her, I pulled Diamond aside. “I could have taken her. What was going on between you two back there?”

  “Maybe I was just calming her down, by telling her what a good time the two of us had when you apprehended me.”

  She was lying, but I couldn’t figure out why. “She was all over you.”

  “Jealous?”

  “You wish. I could’ve taken her myself.”

  “I have no doubt, but I had fun helping you out. Now it’s your turn.”

  She was leaving lots of stuff out. I could feel it. I brushed aside the odd interaction she’d just had with my jumper and focused on the reason Diamond had contacted me in the first place. “Tell me why it’s so important you find these guys, Amato and Picone. Or why it’s so important I find these guys.”

  That last was the part I really wanted to know. She had access to all the weight and power of the mighty U.S. government. Surely, they could locate two mid-level mobsters without help from me. Unless maybe the pursuit for Geno wasn’t an authorized case, which made me both question why I’d want to get involved and get excited about the prospect at that same time. “You going to tell me it’s a matter of national security or is that just a line you use to pick up strippers?”

  She shook her head and laughed. “Don’t you know by now? Everything’s a matter of national security. But seriously, you’re right; we can find those guys on our own. I just figured someone may as well profit from it, and I figured finding them would be an easy job for you. Find them or not. It’s your choice.”

  Right, my choice. We didn’t know each other well enough for her to have such a good handle on my desire for easy money. On the other hand, maybe finding Amato and Picone would be easy. Besides asking Bingo for info, I hadn’t really tried. Maybe I’d turn Lana/Yvonna/Laura in, collect my money, and get Geno’s guys. Show the Feds how easy it was to find lost souls. Collect the bounty and then collect a little something else from one of the Fed’s finest. The prospect of cash and carnal pursuits spurred me to make a brash promise. “Oh, I’ll find them. You just better be ready to pay up.”

  *

  I waited with Laura in the car and watched Diamond walk away. I’d hoped she parked nearby so I could get a fix
on how she was getting around. No telling how that information could be useful, but I wanted it. There were too many cars, though, and she disappeared in the shadows. Once I settled on the fact I’d lost her, I started the Bronco and pulled forward only to be blocked by a Bentley that swerved into my path. I shot the driver the finger, for my personal satisfaction since I doubted he would give a shit about being cursed by someone in an old SUV. To my surprise, the car stopped and a passenger emerged. A huge passenger, and rather than emerge, he kind of unfolded from the interior of the car. I recognized this guy. I didn’t know his name, but he was Yuri Petrov’s chief muscleman.

  Shit. I shifted into reverse and glanced in the rearview mirror, only to realize I wasn’t going anywhere. The car blocking me from behind wasn’t a Bentley, but a midnight black Hummer. Not the small-scale version yuppies buy, but the full-size luxury SUV only the truly rich could afford. I knew it had to be one of Yuri’s.

  I had no way out, and muscleman was headed my way. I slid my hand into my jacket and made sure the Colt was ready for action. My ride was packed with guns, but only two were currently in my reach and I didn’t want to act too suspicious. On that front, I turned to Laura and warned her to be quiet. “Don’t say a word. Let me do all the talking. If you want to live.”

  Maybe she was the reason behind this roadblock. Maybe she was one of Yuri’s favorite girls and he didn’t want her hauled in. Maybe he’d pay me the bounty himself. Yeah, right.

  Muscleman tapped on my window and I cracked it just enough to hear him say, “Luca Bennett.”

  It’s not good when they remember your name, but no sense playing dumb now. “Yeah?”

  “Mr. Petrov would like a word with you.”

  I bet he wanted more than a word. “Tell him to call my secretary and schedule an appointment.”

  He nodded at Laura. “This woman? Is she your secretary?”

  I couldn’t tell if he was kidding or just plain dumb. Yep, I always cart my secretary around in the backseat of my car, in handcuffs. Then I remembered who I was dealing with and realized this guy might be serious. I needed to placate him long enough to get out of here and back to the relative safety of my crappy, but well arsenaled apartment. I pointed at the handcuffs circling Laura’s wrists. “She’s off duty at the moment.”

  “I see. She seems content to stay where she is.” He pointed to a guy standing next to him. “My associate will watch her while you talk to Mr. Petrov. He’s waiting.” He jerked open my door and waited. I climbed down rather than be pulled from my own vehicle, and followed him back to the Bentley. He frisked me and took the Colt, then opened the rear passenger door and waved me inside.

  Yuri sat in the back, an Afghan dog at his feet. Probably the most unscary animal on earth, but I had a healthy fear of being trapped in someone else’s vehicle with nothing more than a .22 in my boot.

  “Luca Bennett, bounty hunter. How nice to see you again.”

  “Hey, Yuri, nice ride.” I didn’t know what else to say, and it was a nice ride even if I could imagine a million other places I’d rather be.

  “You like my ladies? You like them very much.”

  I didn’t have a clue where he was headed with this. Had he seen me with Diamond and recognized her? That wouldn’t be good. Maybe he just thought I’d come from one of his clubs. I decided to play along. “The woman in the truck? She’s not a date, she’s a payday.” Maybe he had business with her and wanted to take her off my hands. Her bond was seventy-five hundred; my fee would be ten percent, which was a small price to pay for my freedom. “If you have a more pressing matter with her, we can deal.”

  “You like to deal, that is true.”

  It wasn’t a question so I didn’t respond. I didn’t have a clue where this conversation was going, and with every passing second, I felt more claustrophobic, which diluted what little manners I usually possessed. “Yuri, I’d love to stay and chat, but I really need to get going.”

  “Morris Hubbard, Bingo, you know him, right?”

  Holy shit. I’d heard Bingo’s real name only once before, and it was when Chance found out I spent most of my take at his place. She made some snarky comment about how at least I’d picked the most untouchable gambling house in town to lose every penny I made. I didn’t think she meant it as a compliment, and I didn’t think Yuri brought up Bingo to find out where he could catch a game. Bingo’s last words to me, “You need to find another line of work,” rang loud. Right now, in this moment, I had a tendency to agree with him. “What about him?”

  “You are friends, yes?”

  “Depends. What do you want?” Yuri didn’t like the direct approach, but I was convinced if I stayed on track, I could shortcut to whatever he wanted or needed from me.

  “I would like you to talk to him. Convince him his business partners aren’t working in his interest. He needs a new patron. That patron is me. You will tell him.”

  I wasn’t going to be telling Bingo anything, but right now I’d promise Yuri whatever he wanted if he’d just let me out of the damn car. Bentley or not, right now it felt like a tomb. “I’m just a bounty hunter. I thought you knew that.”

  “As I recall, you are good at what you do. You like bounty? Then do as I say.” He nodded at the guy who’d sat across from us, pretending not to listen to our conversation, and he pushed open the door. I didn’t waste any time scrambling to exit, but Yuri’s hand pulled me back. He stuck his hand at me and I instinctively took it, curious about the cold metal he left in my fist when he withdrew, but more concerned with getting out of the car. His last words rung in my ear as I walked briskly back to my car.

  “Bounty is good. Do as I say.”

  *

  “Who were they?”

  I turned to Laura, semi surprised she was still cuffed and seated in my ride. The deal with Yuri had lasted only ten minutes, but it felt like hours since Diamond and I, mostly Diamond, had apprehended Laura at the club. Surreal. The only thing that assured me the whole event had indeed been real was the piece of metal still clenched in my hand. I slowly spread my fingers and gazed at the gold coin. The writing on it was in what looked like Russian—lots of vowels and hard consonants. It was big, bigger than a half dollar. And heavy.

  Bounty. I’d just been paid in advance. But for what?

  “That looks valuable.”

  Laura was chock full of keen observations. Pretty annoying while I was trying to process what had just happened. Strange night. First Bingo, make that Morris Hubbard, shunned me. Then Diamond tailed me and basically took over my job. Then Yuri and his band of muscle waylaid me in a strip club parking lot and left treasure in their wake. And something else had happened, something that nibbled at the edge of my memory. Like a rat feeding its hunger on whatever it can find. I stared out the window, trying to remember, when Laura interrupted again.

  “What are you going to do with me?”

  Laura. That was it. I’d have sworn I saw Laura give Diamond something back at the club, or Diamond took something from her. The whole exchange had been off. As if they’d known each other. I remembered how intently Diamond had watched the stage, even before I told her Laura was my jumper. I’d been sure Diamond was at the club for me, but what if Laura was the reason Diamond had been at the club in the first place?

  I considered Laura’s question and decided the answer depended on how willing she was to share whatever information she had. “That woman who was with me, do you know her?”

  “What woman?”

  “Seriously?” Diamond wasn’t the kind of woman you missed, whether you preferred chicks or guys. Either you wanted to fuck her or you thought your man wanted to. I wasn’t in the mood to play games. I pulled the Colt from my shoulder holster, cocked it, and pointed it at her thigh. “You need that leg to dance, don’t you? Or do you have a side job you’d care to tell me about?”

  “I don’t know her.”

  Her voice shook, but I knew she wasn’t being completely honest. I waved the gun. “You talked t
o her.”

  “She talked to me.”

  She could drag this on forever. I leaned over the seat and, with my free hand, I started searching the scant clothing she wore. She wriggled away in protest. “What are you doing?”

  “Looking for answers. You handed her something. What was it?”

  “Get your hands off me. I don’t have it anymore.”

  I pressed the barrel of the Colt against her flesh. “Tell me.”

  She whimpered, but she was close to breaking. “Meds. They were mine. It was nothing.”

  She wasn’t making any sense. “You gave her medicine? What was it?”

  “T-bars. Just a few. They were mine. Prescription.”

  Xanax. I didn’t believe her because it didn’t make sense that Diamond would ask for drugs from a stripper or that a stripper would offer drugs to a federal agent. Then again, I had seen a flash of burnt orange pass between them. Could’ve been a prescription bottle. Still didn’t make sense. “You just up and gave her a bottle of pills that belonged to you. What? Were you trying to bribe her not to haul you in?”

  “She knew I had them. She told me to hand them over.”

  No way. “You’d never seen her before, but she just walked up to you said, ‘May I have your Xanax prescription please?’”

  Laura crossed her arms. “Ask her yourself, if you don’t believe me. She grabbed me and said, ‘Give me the prescription, fast and quiet.’ Hell, I didn’t know who she was or how she knew I even had it. I still don’t know who she is, but she had a gun. I wasn’t going to tell her no.” She gave the gun pressed against her leg a pointed look. I uncocked the Colt and placed it in my lap, still in sight, but not as threatening.

  A thought hit me. “The script wasn’t yours, was it?”

  “It had my name on it.”

  The queen of literal. “Where did you get it?”

  The look of fear in her eyes told me what I needed to know. Well, it gave me a hint anyway. “Do you have more?”

  She nodded slowly and I considered my options. Her bond wasn’t a huge amount, but enough to keep me in beer and housing for another month. But I was curious, and with a list of jumpers to catch, I was feeling rich. Rich enough to feed my curiosity. “Tell you what, you give me a bottle of exactly what you gave her, tell me where you got it, and I’ll let you go.” I holstered the gun as a show of good faith.