Truly, Madly, Deeply

by Marian Tee

  My client expressly forbade me from doing this, but since I'm being paid to look after his interests and not yours...

  She had taken the piece of paper Arthur offered, which turned out to be what he wished would comprise of her sworn legal statement.

  I have not been forced or coerced in any way...

  I am fully aware of the illness that Mr. Matthijs de Graaf was diagnosed with...

  I entered into a consensual relationship of my own free will...

  She had signed it on the spot, and sensing Arthur's surprise, she had said simply, "I'm in this for the long haul."

  But if she had thought the words would impress him, it had the opposite effect.

  "Bravo, Ms. Leventis," he said mockingly. "You've just proven to me what I suspected."

  "I truly love him---"

  "Maybe you do and maybe you don't," Arthur had cut her off flatly. "Either way, loving someone is no excuse to be an idiot and not think things through." He had then dealt Diana a contemptuous look, saying, "You think you know what you're in for, but you don't. You think it's enough that you've read up on things, but it's not. You can never give Matthijs a blowjob unless he's wearing a condom. Taking medications will no longer be an option. It's a necessity, and if you miss a single dose, your life can fall apart in a blink. And what of the future, and you suddenly find yourself wanting a child of your own - you really think you won't resent him for preventing you from being a mother? You say you've thought this through, but I don't think so. I think you haven't thought of this at all, and I think my client's making a big mistake, trusting you to stay with him until the end."

  Together

  Cherish by The Association

  The professor parked his sports car by the curb and stepped out, a picture of elegant perfection in his tweeds and dark aviator glasses shielding his leonine gaze.

  With the sun in a particularly good mood on a Saturday afternoon, there were more people than usual on the streets, and all of the females who happened to walk past the professor weren't able to resist staring at him.

  An all-grown-up, smoking-hot, fuck-me-now angel.

  That was how all of them saw him.

  An angel, who also happened to be in love.

  This, too, was the public consensus, with the professor's austere expression only softening when a dark-haired girl come out of the hospital across the street. They watched him take his glasses off as the girl came running down the steps, they saw their eyes meet, and they knew. There was just no doubting it, with that look in his eyes.

  That man was head over heels...and so was she.

  Color had blossomed in her cheeks upon seeing her beau, and the moment the pedestrian lights turned green, it was as if she had grown wings, with the girl dashing and practically flying in her haste to be with the man waiting for her on the other side.

  "Whoa." Once again, her sudden weight threatened his balance, but also just like before, Matthijs' proved too strong and too powerful, and soon Diana felt his arm going around her waist as he regained his footing.

  "Hello."

  Her smile was irresistible, and he found himself smiling down at her. "Hello."

  So far, so good, Diana thought impishly, and so she raised her face for a kiss.

  But her wiles didn't work this time, and she burst into laughter when the professor responded by rolling his pretty golden eyes at her.

  "Too soon?"

  His eyes bored through her. "What do you think?"

  "Well, maybe this could help..."

  The professor took the envelope Diana handed over and saw her confused surprise when he shoved it straight to his pocket.

  "You're not going to read it?" After everything she had done for the past ten days, just to make sure that she could kiss and touch him without having him to worry he might hurt her---

  "I don't need to."

  What?

  The professor touched her nose as he murmured, "Everything I need to know is already written on your face."

  Oh.

  And then it really hit her, what the professor was saying - that he knew there was no longer anything to keep them apart...

  OH.

  The professor smirked, and he looked so, so hot, and she just loved him so, so much, she heard herself blurt out, "T-PILF."

  Matthijs blinked. "Excuse me?"

  Oh. Shit.

  Had she said that out loud?

  Diana cleared her throat. "It's, um, what the other students call you."

  "And it's supposed to mean something?"

  "The Professor I'd Like t-to Fuck." And with Diana's voice becoming smaller with each word, it was barely audible by the end. But even so, it was obvious he had heard her just fine, with the way the professor threw his head back with a laugh.

  A rich, dark laugh, its sound she found herself cherishing so much that she just had to close her eyes to savor it.

  And when she opened her eyes again---

  Just in time to see his dark head bending down.

  And then...

  Everything.

  Her whole world coming to a standstill, her soul finding its other half, her life rediscovering its meaning---

  This kiss was her every dream come true.

  The movement of his lips was both bold and gentle, the strokes of his tongue passionate and tender, and oh Saint M, but this kiss was beyond everything she imagined, and all she could do was grip the lapels of his jacket and kiss him back.

  Even when she heard the sound of people starting to clap and whistle, even when she started to hear the loud clicking of professional cameras snapping away and feel the blinding flash strike the sides of her face, even when she started to realize that the few paps in the area had found her, and it was very likely that photos of them making out would be all over gossip websites...

  She just didn't give a damn.

  Nothing mattered more than kissing him back, nothing else mattered than letting him know that his kiss didn't scare her and would never ever scare her.

  When he finally pulled away to let her breathe, and their gazes met anew, when instead of bleakness she saw hope---

  She reached to trace his lips with trembling fingers, and the tears started to fall when he didn't flinch away from her touch.

  I can finally touch you, Professor.

  He took hold of her hand and pressed his lips to the heart of her palm.

  And so can I, my darling.

  After that, things pretty much moved in another fast-paced if not anti-climactic blur, with Diana so dazed with relief and happiness that all she could remember was the feel of his hand tightly gripping hers.

  Having both students and faculty members gape at the sight of them walking hand in hand, entering the Registrar's office to submit a declaration form regarding their relationship, packing her things so she could move in with the professor---

  They were all major events that she would normally have fretted over.

  Normally.

  And maybe, later on, when the euphoria had dimmed a little, she would worry about them.

  But for now...

  The professor opened the door for her, and she took his hand as he helped her out of the car. In the corner of her eye, she saw his entire staff all lined up in front of his home, but instead of turning to face them, his golden gaze remained on her.

  And once again, they were blazing.

  But whereas it used to be with anger, this time she understood that the intensity came from something else.

  "You're worried?" she asked softly.

  "It's okay to have second thoughts about this," he muttered. "You can still---"

  "Love you?" Diana cupped his face. "Kiss you? Touch you? F---"

  His mouth slammed down on hers, and she laughed against his lips.

  I love you, Professor.

  Matthijs' arm went around her waist to pull her closer.

  And I you.

  Her

  This Guy's In Love With You by Herb Albert & The Tijuana Bra
ss

  Diana tried to take her time in the shower, but it was impossible. She was just so excited to be with the professor again. Nervous and a little frightened, too, yes, but mostly, just excited, her toes perpetually curling and her heart constantly skipping a beat at the knowledge that finally, oh finally, they could be one.

  She tried to while the time away by taking extra care in styling her hair and choosing the right dress - a strapless, ruby red velvet concoction that bared nearly two-thirds of her cleavage that she matched with the same-colored stilettos.

  But even after this, a glance at the clock told her it was only five minutes to six, and she still had over half an hour to go before she could meet the professor for dinner.

  What to do then?

  Diana grabbed her phone on impulse, and her eyes widened in surprise when she saw she had 289 unread messages waiting.

  Mairi: OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD.

  Diana grinned. That was her sister-in-law, alright.

  Mairi: YOUR NEW (HOTTIE) BOYFRIEND IS YOUR PROFESSOR.

  She thought of answering Mairi's text but eventually decided against it. Her brother's wife might seem totally harmless, but the older woman also had a way of making people spill their guts, and that was something she could ill afford at the moment.

  Diana moved on to the next message.

  Katya: I take it he's no longer an asshole?

  Realizing she had completely forgotten to update her best friend, Diana quickly started typing.

  Diana: Long story. But yes, no longer an asshole.

  Diana: And Damen knows about him.

  Katya: And he's okay with it?

  Diana: Yes.

  Katya: Good enough for me. Call me when you're done bonking each other.

  Diana could feel herself turning red after reading Katya's last message. Sheesh. But since it was true, and that was top priority in tonight's agenda, Diana decided it was best not to reply for now.

  The next set of messages was from her chat group with Amine and Magnolia, and Diana choked out a laugh when she saw the screenshots they had sent. All of it were apparently tweets from women who used to have hopes of being the professor's next girlfriend, and while most of them were students from Helder Meer, there were also a good number made up by both his present-day and former peers.

  One tweet included a photo of Jennifer Lawrence shouting 'I volunteer' from Hunger Games, and its caption: When T-PILF and his new girlfriend breaks up, and he's thinking of hooking up with another student.

  The second screenshot had a photo of Diana and the professor kissing on the street, and its caption was pretty straightforward: When you see your secret crush kissing another girl, and you immediately start praying they choke on each other's saliva, and wish you had your own Drogon so you could Dracarys the shit out of them #pettyisaspettygoes

  Another screenshot had two photos. The first was of her and the professor kissing again, labeled simply, What I Saw Earlier. The second photo was of a cat, its big eyes welling up with tears, and its label: How I Am Now.

  But then she saw the last screenshot Magnolia had sent, and she started to laugh and cry. Its caption was from a student determined to move on now that her beloved T-PILF had a girlfriend.

  Could you please find a way to make yourself just a little less hotter? I'm trying to get over you here.

  And the photo attached to it was from several years back: a younger-looking professor, and he was up on stage to receive his Nobel Prize. He was beautiful as ever, and he was grinning. Grinning. Because at that moment, someone hadn't yet stolen his life from him.

  But now...

  Oh God, but now...

  It hit her all of a sudden, how all this time, it had always been about her, and not once had they spoken of his risks, of the risks he still faced...

  A sob broke out of her, and after that, there was no stopping it, and she found herself crumpling. Her phone fell from her fingers, but still she couldn't stop crying, her sobs as wild and uncontrollable as the fears strangling her.

  I can't lose him. I can't. I can't.

  Saint M, please, I can't.

  Please.

  Don't let God take him away from me.

  Please.

  Time passed by, and before she knew it, he was there, striding inside her room, his shadow falling over her as he crouched down to her level.

  "Diana."

  The quiet heaviness in his tone made her head jerk up. "Professor---" And then she saw that it was back, bleakness once again darkening his eyes, and her trepidation turned into full-blown panic. He had been hurt so much - so, so much - that the thought of her causing him more pain was unbearable.

  She shook her head frantically at him. "It's n-not what you think---"

  "Ssssh." He tried to pull her towards him, but she scrambled away, knowing that to let him embrace her, even if it was what she badly needed, was to let him think he was right.

  "It's not what you think," she repeated doggedly.

  "You said you were scared."

  And so she did.

  But the way he said the words, the way his face turned completely expressionless as he spoke---

  It told her that it was really as she feared, and another sob wracked her body.

  "You don't understand," she choked out. "You just don't..."

  "Of course I do." And the dullness in his voice had her crying harder. "And I promised you, didn't I?"

  "It's not---"

  "I won't force you to stay. In spite of all the precautions we've taken, there's still a chance for you to get infected---"

  She grabbed his face with both hands. "Listen to me!" She saw his jaw clench, saw the way his body turned rigid, and she knew by now what it meant. He was preparing himself, in case she left him, and her heart broke all over again.

  "I am scared, Professor," she whispered tremulously. "But it's not what you think."

  "Isn't it?"

  She shook her head. "I'm scared for you. I'm scared that I'll lose you. And I can't. I just can't...I want you to live forever. I need you to live forever---" And then she could no longer speak, crying so hard she could only let her lips move.

  Don't leave me.

  Don't leave me.

  Please, please, please don't ever leave me.

  Him

  The professor woke up to find her gone.

  And his first thought was, I should've expected it.

  He couldn't even blame her. She had every right to run, with all the baggage he carried. He was her teacher, he had HIV, and the last girl he had a relationship with had killed herself because he was a prick.

  So no, if he had to be fucking honest, a part of him had long expected this. If anything, he was actually surprised she lasted this long and got this far. So now, the question was...did he run after her or let this stand as a lesson for him?

  He walked into the shower, hoping the hot blast of water could help clear his head, but all it did was let memories of last night infiltrate his mind.

  It had been the first and only time he spent the entire night with a woman and not touched her, and while Matthijs wanted to think it was because fucking a girl crying her heart out held no appeal, he knew it had been more than that.

  Last night, listening to her cry and knowing that her tears were all for him, it just hadn't felt fucking right to touch her in any way that wasn't pure. All he had been able to do was hold her, kiss her fucking hair, and murmur idiotic nothings to her ear.

  Maybe he had been wrong about her, he reflected humorlessly. The power she wielded over him from the moment they met...it had once made him think of her as his downfall. But maybe it was the other way around, and she was his soul's salvation, with her ability to turn a sinner like him into a...well, a saint would be cutting it too fine, so maybe she had just enough power to turn him into a eunuch?

  Then again, none of it mattered now, did it?

  She was gone, and it was time for him to move on.

  Stepping out of his bedroo
m, the professor forced himself to stick to his usual Sunday routine and headed down to the kitchen. His movements were purely mechanical, preparing his breakfast shake and the assortment of pills he had to take.

  This, he thought broodingly, was how life was going to be, from here on.

  It was when he was on his way to his personal basement that he heard it.

  Music streaming from the garden, and the professor absently rifled through his memory banks for the title of the song.

  God Only Knows...

  Since when did Dan, his head gardener, start listening to The Beach Boys?

  He was about to turn the corner that led to the other hallway when he heard something else - a soft, feminine voice, humming alongside the music - and the professor tensed.

  It couldn't be.

  But the sweet humming went on, and before he knew it, his feet was already moving, and then he was breaking into a run, his heart banging against the walls of his chest.

  Let it be her.

  Let it be her.

  Let it be her.

  He was panting by the time he made it to the sliding glass doors that opened to the patio, out of breath not because of overexertion but out of sheer dread.

  Because he was hoping, he was goddamn hoping, and at the same time, he was fucking terrified it would all be just a dream.

  But it wasn't.

  Because she was there.

  Diana.

  She was seated on the steps, her dark hair loose against her bare back, and an empty bowl of cereal placed next to her. She still had last night's lovely dress - the sexiest fucking red dress he had ever seen, with her tits threatening to spill out every time her body trembled the slightest bit. But she had ditched her stilettos and gone barefoot, and the sight of it was erotic.

  He must've made some noise after that. Or maybe it was her soul finally heeding the call of his own. Either way, she was suddenly twisting around, and his face appeared to have mirrored his fears, because she only took one look at him, and then she was once again rushing towards him---