The Cowboy's Marriage Mistake

by Jessie Gussman

  Regardless, she crossed her arms over her chest and leaned against her desk, careful to not knock the stack of books over.

  “Yes?” she asked.

  Cord hadn’t turned toward her. His chin jutted out in profile as he seemed to look out the front window in frustration.

  “Kissing lessons?”

  She almost snorted. Really? Was that what he was upset about? He’d know better than anyone else that she needed them. Not like they’d be talking about that accidental kiss they’d shared. Nor could she tell him the real reason Rosalin had insisted she take them.

  Although it would be freeing to come clean. She hated the deception that Rosalin had forced her into.

  “I changed my mind.”

  “About needing them or wanting them?”

  “Both.”

  “You must have been pretty serious if you actually hired a guy and had him come.”

  Cord knew what her financial situation was as well as she did. He knew the amount of money she made for keeping the library was a pittance. Sure, it provided a room for her, but it certainly wasn’t enough for her to go hiring someone for something as frivolous as kissing lessons.

  “You know, we used to be pretty good friends,” Cord started.

  Her chest squeezed.

  “We used to tell each other things.”

  She allowed his statement to go unanswered as water dripped somewhere and the wind blew, rattling a loose piece of siding.

  He waited.

  She stared down at the floor, wishing she could say what was in her heart. Wishing he had picked her rather than her twin. Knowing she couldn’t change what had already been done and knowing there was no way she could make someone love her.

  But she couldn’t keep going on acting like nothing had changed.

  Finally, she said, “Since you’re getting married to Rosalin, don’t you think it’s about time we put a little more distance between you and me?”

  “There’s nothing wrong with us being friends.” He sounded defensive, which told her clearly that she was probably right.

  “I agree. I guess. In a way. But your best friend should be Rosalin.”

  He grunted. “I didn’t want to ruin the great friendship that you and I had, which was part of the reason I...”

  His voice trailed off. She fought the urge to prompt him about what he’d been going to say. She didn’t want to know. Not unless he was changing his mind, but she had to leave that hope behind and forge ahead.

  Easier said than done, since Rosalin was making her take her place Friday night.

  It had to be the last time.

  “Was that all you wanted?”

  She didn’t want to be rude to the man she’d considered her best friend forever, but if she was going to step back, she needed to actually do so. Not just keep thinking she should.

  “No. I showed up here thinking we could talk about Joseph. He spent the day with me, and I just dropped him off at his house.”

  “Why wasn’t he in school?”

  “Yeah. Good question. Why wasn’t he?”

  “Why didn’t you take him?”

  Cord sighed and finally turned to face her. “I think he’s having trouble in school.”

  “Like with other kids? Fighting?”

  “No. Learning issues.”

  “But he’s so smart.”

  “Yeah. I don’t know. I’m not an expert. There’s something up. And his parents aren’t going to take care of it. I thought maybe...”

  “You thought I would?” Normally she’d be pleased that he’d think of her and enjoy working with him to find a solution, especially when it involved a boy as sweet as Joseph. But she felt more irritated than anything. Why didn’t he go to Rosalin with his ideas and requests?

  “Well, yeah. I have a few trips coming up to take the sleds that have been ordered and deliver them. I’ll be gone a lot of January. I just thought you...cared about Joseph, same as I do.”

  Of course, she did. “I do.”

  Maybe it wouldn’t hurt since Cord wouldn’t be around. It wasn’t like they’d be working with him together. It just bothered her that she was the one he came to with the problem, while Rosalin was the one he...kissed.

  Dumb thing to get bothered over.

  It was all her, anyway. He hadn’t pretended to want more.

  “I’ll help.” Cord held his hands out. “It’s just that I think he needs someone right away, and I know I’m going to be busy.”

  “Did he say something?”

  “Yeah. Not specifically, but today when he first came out and I asked him why he wasn’t in school.” Cord shoved a hand in his pocket. He stretched his other hand out and indicated the books surrounding them. “I know school isn’t for everyone. I think Joseph will be a man who’s happy to work with his hands. Building stuff. Fixing stuff. Whatever. We need men like that in the world. And there are plenty of jobs for men like that. But he has to get through school first. Somehow. Without it killing him and without it making him feel like he’s worthless next to all those other kids who are book smart but can’t use a hammer without an instruction manual and a trip to the ER.”

  His teeth flashed a little, and she had to smile in return. “There is absolutely nothing wrong with people who have to have stitches because they caught the back of their head with a hammer.”

  “Didn’t say there was.”

  They were both grinning full-on now, sharing smiles over the fact that she had, indeed, gone to the ER for stitches for that very reason.

  “Listen, Rosie, I know things are changing. It’s made me a little uneasy, too, but the one thing I don’t want to lose, out of all of this, is you.” He paused. “Your friendship.”

  “Shouldn’t Rosalin be the most important thing?”

  “She is. Really. But she’s the kind of girl a man marries. But you’re...my buddy. We pal around together. We work together. I know I can count on you. And I think I’ve been there for you just as much.”

  “You have.” He had been her main help when she was putting the library together. He’d been the only one who hadn’t laughed at her idea when she’d first had it. He hadn’t told her she was crazy to live below the poverty level in order to live her dream. He’d given her jobs on the side helping him with his horses and taking care of his animals when he went on his trips, enabling her to do what she loved.

  Everyone else had called her crazy. Cord had stood beside her and done what he could to help.

  Just like she’d done for him.

  “I guess I’ve never thanked you.”

  “I never thanked you, either.” He blew a breath out. “Maybe part of our problem... I know you probably don’t want to talk about it any more than I do, but—”

  “No,” she said, somehow knowing he was going to bring up the kiss. “You’re right. I don’t want to talk about it. It shouldn’t have happened. And you’re right. I feel guilty about it.”

  “That doesn’t have anything to do with the kissing lesson guy in your apartment?”

  “No.”

  “Because you don’t need him,” Cord said softly.

  Of course, those words sent shivers up her back. He didn’t know, though. He was just saying it casually, like a friend.

  Although he would never say anything to her that he didn’t mean.

  “I think it’s probably better if we don’t go there.”

  His exhale was loud in the silence. “I know you’re right.” He shoved both hands in his pockets and walked over to the window. “I didn’t realize things would change like this between us, but I see that it’s probably the way it should be. Anyway, I’m going to be in Rockerton on Friday night. We’ll be doing holiday stuff with the family and finishing up the last sled, then I’ve got those trips. For the last two years since I’ve been taking them, I’ve wanted you to go along. I think you’d enjoy seeing Michigan, and I’d enjoy your company.”

  She swallowed and braced herself. He probably wanted to take Rosalin. She
had to be ready for the announcement.

  And Rosalin was not going to get Rosie to do this for her.

  “I’ll talk to Rosalin and make sure she understands it’s a friend thing. But I’d really like you to go.”

  “I don’t think anyone would think that’s appropriate.”

  He spun, closing the distance between them with two long strides. “I don’t care what the rest of the world thinks, and you didn’t used to, either. Like when you wanted to become a librarian of a small town that didn’t even have a library.”

  “You’re saying I owe you?” They’d never played like that before. They just did things because they were friends. There was no owing.

  “No.” She could almost hear his teeth grinding as he turned his head away. “I feel like there’s a wall between us that didn’t used to be there. This would be a chance—”

  “There is! You’re engaged. That changes everything, and even more because it’s to my sister. I can’t just gallivant around the countryside with her fiancé.”

  “She’s not going to care.”

  “You should take her. And if you’d rather take me, maybe that should tell you something.”

  She shouldn’t have said that much, and she wanted to slap her hand over her mouth, but instead she pushed off the desk and headed back toward her apartment. She didn’t want to be with Max, whatever he wanted, or Liam. But it was better than being here while Cord tried to pretend that nothing had changed when everything had.

  “Rosie.”

  She didn’t want to stop, but she couldn’t walk away from him.

  “Come with me. I have some things that I didn’t talk to you about. Maybe for the first time in my life. But I just made what seemed like commonsense decisions. I’ve been thinking that perhaps they were the wrong decisions.”

  In the dark and the stillness, his voice should have sounded loud, but it was faint and she could barely make it out. He wasn’t an angry man, but he didn’t typically show insecurities, either. That’s what his voice sounded like—insecure.

  Or like maybe he thought he might have been wrong.

  “I’ll talk to Rosalin,” she finally said.

  “I will too. I already told you I would. But I know she won’t care.”

  A question on the tip of her tongue—do you love her—almost slipped out. But it wasn’t her place to ask.

  “Will you tell me what these guys are doing in your apartment? Did you really ask them to come?”

  “No. I didn’t ask either one of them.”

  “But you’re taking kissing lessons?”

  “I’m sorry. I can’t explain that.” She turned slightly. He’d moved toward her. “I already told him I didn’t want them. I guess he was just being a jerk when he said that’s what we were doing, although that is what he came for.”

  “Will I ever find out the secrets that you’re keeping?”

  If only he knew. “I wish I didn’t have to keep secrets.”

  “Me too.”

  “I don’t know why Max is here.”

  “You agreed to go out with him.”

  “Yes.” At the time, it had seemed like a good idea. Maybe it still was. Although she didn’t like the fact that he wouldn’t accept her no.

  “I’d rather you wouldn’t.”

  Anger surged through her. He didn’t have the right to tell her not to date someone. Unless this was advice from a friend. She tried to calm herself down.

  “Why is that?”

  “I don’t trust him.”

  “I don’t really trust him, either.”

  “Then why are you going out with him?” Frustration made his voice louder.

  What could she say? Because Cord was taken, she felt she needed to put herself out there? What other reason was there?

  “He asked, and I said yes. I guess that’s reason enough.”

  “It’s really not.”

  She wasn’t going to give him a hard time about her sister, so she bit her lip to keep the words in.

  Suddenly, she felt like crying. Crazy because Cord had never, not once in all their years of friendship, ever, made her feel that way. “I’ve never told you who to date. I’ve never given you a hard time about anyone. If you want my opinion, I’ve always had one, but I haven’t said anything because it’s your life. You can do the same for me.”

  “I want your opinion.”

  “It’s too late. You’re engaged.”

  “You’re not. Maybe a good friend would keep their mouth shut, but Max isn’t the kind of guy who’s going to be good to you.”

  “I know that. But maybe I just want to go out and do something with someone who actually wants me.”

  Yeah. That was the one and only reason she’d said yes to Max. Well, that and maybe a little bit of anger that Cord could fall so easily for her sister. Or maybe to show that she didn’t care.

  “I—” Cord started. But he broke off abruptly.

  Whatever he was going to say, it didn’t matter. And she didn’t want him to feel guilty or bad.

  “It’s just for fun. Max doesn’t really care for me, and I just thought it’d be fun to get out. Not a big deal.”

  “Right.” He didn’t sound like he agreed, but there wasn’t any argument for what she’d said, and they both knew it. “You’ll help me with Joseph?”

  “Yeah. Penny is the reading specialist at the school. She’s in here a good bit. I’m sure I won’t be able to get detailed info on him. That’ll be confidential, but maybe I can talk to her about ways we can help him.”

  “Thanks.” The relief in his voice told her clearly that he was truly concerned about Joseph, if she hadn’t already known.

  There was a whole part of her that didn’t want to turn and walk away again, that wanted to stand and somehow change his mind, but that wasn’t what friends were for.

  She strode to the door and opened it.

  It had been too much to hope that Max and Liam had left. A quiet evening with a book was what she really wanted right now.

  But as she blinked at the brighter light, it wasn’t hard to make out Liam and Max both sitting at her table, Max with some kind of package in front of him.

  They weren’t talking.

  She didn’t wait for Cord to walk through but stepped over to the table. “You know, Liam. You don’t have to stay. In fact, please leave.” It’s what she should have said to begin with.

  Liam gave her a more thoughtful glance than she’d been expecting before pushing up. “I think you’re a nice girl, Rosie. And I don’t say that lightly, because in my experience, there aren’t a lot of nice girls in the world.” His lip twisted a little, but he didn’t dally and soon had his outerwear on and was gone.

  “I think he’s right.” Max tapped the package in front of him. “I just wanted to give you this and make sure we’re on for Saturday. I’ll be a gentleman. I promise. I wasn’t...before.”

  She nodded, glancing at the package but not really curious about it. Maybe it showed what a shallow person she was, but she just didn’t care that Max had given her a gift.

  Part of her wanted to laugh at the irony of having three men in her apartment. Her, a quiet librarian who’d barely ever had a date had a kissing expert, a ladies’ man, and her sister’s fiancé all visiting in one night.

  Busy night.

  And she preferred her books.

  She didn’t want to cancel in front of Cord and Liam, especially after the conversation she’d just had with Cord, but it wasn’t fair to Max for her to go on that date. She wasn’t the slightest bit interested in him.

  “I think it might be better if we cancel. I’m not really what you’re looking for anyway.” That was the truth. Max was much more suited for someone like Rosalin. He knew it as well as she did.

  Max eyed Cord before nodding his head, shoving his hat down on his head and walking out.

  Conscious of Cord behind her, Rosie eyed the package on her table before picking the mugs of milk up and rinsing them off in the sink.<
br />
  “Aren’t you going to open it?” he finally said, walking over to the table before joining her at the sink with a towel to dry the mugs.

  “I think I’ll wait.” Even though she didn’t feel any loyalty to Max, it felt wrong to open his gift in front of Cord.

  “Just wondering. Guess it’s nothing that would hurt you.”

  He’d always been protective. Like a brother for his little sister, she supposed. But it was bothering her now.

  Her fault. Not his.

  “Well, I might not see you for a while,” he finally said.

  “Yeah.” That’s all she could say. Because she’d be seeing him Friday night. As Rosalin.

  “Take care, Rosie.” He threw the towel on the counter and grabbed his jacket before he left, too.

  His leaving was the only one that pulled at her heart. But she shoved that tender feeling aside. She needed to throw herself into her work with the library, and Joseph would be a great distraction, too. Anything to get her mind off Cord.

  Maybe she should look into getting a second job. Since she probably wouldn’t be picking up extra cash working for Cord once he and Rosalin got married.

  Moving over to the table, she picked up the package. It wasn’t wrapped but was a paper bag with handles. Maybe the name on the side was a big-name store, but she didn’t recognize it.

  Reaching her hand in, she pulled out a book. A romance. Nothing risqué, just a cute couple smiling at each other on the cover.

  An odd feeling went through her. Whatever she’d been expecting, it hadn’t been this; she hadn’t expected Max to pick out something that she might like. Something that almost seemed a little thoughtful. Although she’d never heard of the author listed on the cover, it looked like the kind of book she’d enjoy.

  Well, now maybe she’d get her wish of a quiet evening with a book.

  Chapter 8

  CORD DROVE TO ROCKERTON, frustrated and upset and not sure why, what to do about it, or even if he had the right to be either.

  After all, Rosie had been perfectly right—he was engaged to marry her sister. So he needed to back off.

  Problem was she was his friend. And he cared about her. A lot. There wasn’t anything wrong with that. Wanting to protect her. Wanting her safety. She meant a lot to him. And he wasn’t afraid to admit it.