She took a shaky breath, her feelings all jumbled up inside. Clearing her throat, she said, “I don’t know.” She lifted her hands, both of them, and shrugged. “I really don’t know. I certainly considered moving to a larger town or even a city. Rockerton or Fargo. Even going as far as the Cities in Minnesota. I really would like to work in a library.” She shrugged again. “But maybe that’s just not something that’s gonna happen for me. For a bigger library, I’d almost certainly need at least a two year degree. But I don’t have any other ideas.”
“I heard you’ve been dropping Joseph off at school for the last week.” Mrs. Stryker studied the bite of lemon bar on her fork.
It wasn’t a question, but Rosie nodded anyway. “Yes, I have. He’s been staying here and helping me with Cord’s horses.”
“Thank you. I know you’re not doing it for me, or anything close, but someone needed to take care of that boy, and I appreciate you doing it.” She put the lemon bar in her mouth and chewed on it thoughtfully.
Rosie told Mrs. Stryker about the condition of Joseph’s parents when they picked him up. It’s not something she would have told just anyone, but Mrs. Stryker wasn’t just anyone.
“That’s awful. The man basically said he’d sell his own son?” Mrs. Stryker shook her head. “Sad. Illegal. But not surprising.”
Rosie nodded. There wasn’t anything else to say to that.
“I wonder...” Mrs. Stryker’s fingers tapped on the table. “It seems like the girls are taken care of. If someone could get a court to get custody of Joseph, you and Cord could raise him. Knowing Greg, he just wants his next hit. He might give up parental rights... I’m not sure how that goes.”
Rosie was a little taken aback to hear Mrs. Stryker talk like that. But she needed to correct one thing. “Cord and I aren’t a couple. You know we’ve been great friends, best friends, forever. But there’s no romance.” Maybe her cheeks got a little red, because she remembered the kiss they’d shared. That sure felt like romance to her. But it meant something different to Cord, and she would be foolish to add something that wasn’t there.
Mrs. Stryker smiled a smile that seemed to be filled with secrets. Rosie wasn’t quite sure what that meant, but Mrs. Stryker knew her son was engaged to Rosalin. Rosie shouldn’t have to defend herself over this.
“Sometimes, men can be a little clueless and a lot dense.” Mrs. Stryker’s pensive look seemed to indicate she was thinking back maybe into her own life. Although Rosie had never known her to be linked to any man since her husband’s death. “Sometimes, we have to nudge them a little.” She chuckled, sounding almost like a young girl. “Or a lot. Sometimes, they need more than a nudge. Like a shove.” Her eyes sparkled. “I don’t think Cord is going to marry Rosalin.” Her voice lowered. “And don’t get me wrong, I love Rosalin, and I think she’s a wonderful girl. But you and Cord are perfect together.”
Rosie shook her head. She couldn’t allow Mrs. Stryker to be misled. “I did something to Cord that I don’t think he will be able to forgive. There has to be trust in a relationship.”
Mrs. Stryker’s brows lifted, and Rosie got the impression that she didn’t know what had happened. It seemed like Mrs. Stryker knew everything. But there was no way she could’ve known this unless Cord told her. Cord had what Rosie considered an above-average relationship with his mother, but apparently, he hadn’t told her this.
“Be that as it may, I see him when he looks at you, and it’s not the way he looks when he looks at Rosalin. I think maybe he thought that love didn’t matter.” Mrs. Stryker lifted her shoulder, reminding Rosie of her earlier comment about men. “And I think he’s realizing that he might’ve been wrong.” She tilted her head, her gray curls framing her face. “I hope you’ll be patient with him while he works it out. And you know I wouldn’t suggest that if I didn’t think that he would be the very best thing for you.”
Rosie was saved from answering by the sound of the back door opening. “Hey, Rosie, are you in here?” Cord’s voice boomed. “Is that my mother’s car out there? Mom? You here?”
“It’s your mom’s car, and we’re in here. The kitchen,” Rosie called.
“What is that I smell?” Cord’s voice preceded his body into the kitchen. “Man, that smells good.” His eyes darted around. Maybe from what Mrs. Stryker had just said, it made Rosie think that they might’ve lingered on her just a little longer than anything else. He looked happy. But that might be because he was home.
“You didn’t take your boots off, son.” Mrs. Stryker stood.
“You don’t have to leave just because I came.” Cord grinned, looked at his boots, then looked back at his mom. “I don’t think I have to take my boots off. This is my house, right?”
“House. Not barn. We take our boots off in the house. I happened to be there when you were raised, and I know that you were taught at least that much.” Mrs. Stryker walked over. Cord leaned his head down, and she kissed his cheek. “I’m not leaving just because you came. Rosie and I are done with our conversation. And the lemon bars are delicious.”
Mrs. Stryker turned. Rosie had stood when she did, and Mrs. Stryker held her arms out. Rosie didn’t need a written invitation. She stepped into Mrs. Stryker’s warm, cinnamon-scented embrace. Her own parents were a little more standoffish. Nice. And she knew they loved her. But it was Mrs. Stryker who offered comfort. Rosie knew not only did Mrs. Stryker like her, she loved her too.
A little flutter wiggled in her chest, and Rosie looked past Mrs. Stryker’s shoulder. Cord stared at her. She had to admit she missed him and was happy he was home. It was good to see him. Maybe because of what Mrs. Stryker had said, she was more aware of that feeling. At any rate, she wouldn’t have been disappointed to step from Mrs. Stryker’s arms and into Cord’s. But she looked away and stepped back.
Mrs. Stryker and Cord chatted for just a second or two before Mrs. Stryker left, leaving Cord and her alone in the kitchen.
Cord grabbed a lemon bar and bit into it. “How’d things go while I was gone?”
“They went well.” She felt weird sitting while he was standing, so she went to the sink and washed their forks. “It’s not hard to feed the horses every day. And Joseph helped me with the water. There’s something really soothing about brushing them down, and we checked their hooves every day as well.”
“They’re probably ready for some exercise.” Cord put the rest of the lemon bar in his mouth and chewed. “These are really good.”
“I’m sure they’d love some exercise. We didn’t do anything with them.”
“Would you like to take a ride? I’ll hitch them up.”
That was weird. They’d gone on a lot of rides together over the years. But typically not in the middle of the day and for no reason. Maybe while he was training, or to give someone else a ride, or to get ready for something like a parade. But never for no reason.
When he said “exercise,” she assumed he’d be letting them out into the paddock.
“I have a few things I’d like to talk to you about.” Cord said this casually like it wasn’t a big deal.
But it kinda was.
“Why don’t you just talk to me about them then?”
He grinned. A little teasing, and a little bit of something else, she wasn’t sure exactly what that was. It almost looked...sexy. Except that wasn’t the kind of relationship that Cord and she had.
“Now you’re making me nervous.” She lifted a brow at him, allowing the beginning of a goofy grin to lift up her lips. She wasn’t going to get serious. That way lay trouble.
“You should be nervous. The trip with the sleds, that was just a cover. I’m actually a serial killer. Be very nervous.” He wiggled his brows at her and grabbed another lemon bar.
Rosie pursed her lips and looked at the plate that was now empty. “Glad your mom ate first.”
“Not me. I’d do about six more of these.” He popped the last bit in his mouth and brushed his hands off before taking one step and entering her pe
rsonal space.
She didn’t move away but looked at him, craning her head up.
He put a hand on her upper arm lightly. “You know, Rosie, you really don’t have to be nervous. I do have some serious things I want to talk to you about, but I don’t want you to have to do anything you don’t want to do.” She could hardly resist his boyish grin. “And plus, you love to ride.”
It’s true; she did. “Right now?”
He nodded. “Yes.” Glancing at the clock on the wall, he said, “I need to be back here in an hour and a half.”
Her brows pressed in. “Why?”
He tapped her nose. “That’s one of the things I want to talk to you about.”
She crossed her eyes at his finger on her nose. “Okay. Let me get my coat and boots and I’ll be ready.”
She expected him to head out, start hitching up the horses. But he said, “I’ll wait on you.”
“Ooookay?” She drew the word out, making it a question.
He just smiled.
Yeah. Now she was really nervous. Her stomach felt like it was flagging down her heart, maybe to hitch a ride out of town.
He chatted about the sleds he sold, the people he met, and a few other details about his trip, while she put her boots and coat and hat and gloves on. After she stepped out of the house, it surprised her when he took her hand. Glove against glove. But they’d never walked around holding hands before, and although she tried to tell herself it was so she wouldn’t fall on the ice and snow, there was a very big part of her that felt she should pull her hand away. He was engaged to her sister.
In fact, that’s what she needed to do. She tugged.
He held on.
She tugged again, harder this time.
He still held on.
She hated that this was going to be an awkward conversation, but she couldn’t continue to hold his hand. “Cord, you’re engaged to Rosalin, and I know I shouldn’t be holding your hand. If I were Rosalin, I would hate that.”
She wouldn’t mention that she would hate the fact that Cord had kissed her, too.
She didn’t want to go there. Not today.
“Honestly, I don’t think Rosalin would care.” Cord slid the barn door open with one hand, keeping a hold of hers with his other. “But that’s what I wanted to talk to you about. One of the things.”
“I don’t really want to talk to you about Rosalin.” She hoped she didn’t sound snotty. But his relationship with Rosalin was really none of her business. That, and she didn’t want to hear about it. At all.
He stopped in the barn doorway and turned her to face him. He didn’t mince words. “We broke up. We weren’t really together for love anyway. It was just a convenience thing. And it was a dumb idea. Neither one of us is heartbroken, and I feel relieved.”
Chapter 15
CORD SEEMED TO SEARCH her eyes, gauging her reaction.
He’d shocked her, and she knew her face was probably blank as she processed his words.
He turned toward the horses’ stalls, pulling her with him. She followed without thinking. Her brain wasn’t working at all. Cord and Rosalin had broken up? Why?
“Did she go with you on your trip?” she asked when she finally got her tongue to start working.
Sadie stuck her head over the stall door and nickered softly at Cord. He murmured a few words to her and patted her big head before he turned back over his shoulder and spoke to Rosie. “Nope.”
He turned back without saying more, and Rosie watched while he worked with the horses for a little bit, hooking a lead rope on and leading Sadie out of her stall, attaching the rope to the hook and grabbing a brush to groom her, as he always did before he hitched them up.
Rosie grabbed a different lead and did the same to Bill. Leading him out of the stall, hooking him, and grabbing a currycomb. Cord’s silence seemed unnatural, so she filled it. “I thought you were going to talk.”
“Yeah. It is a little harder than I thought it was going to be. I want to say it right.” He picked up one of Sadie’s big hooves and used a pick to clean it.
Hmm. She had no idea what he could want to say that he would have to think about so long. “Cord? This is Rosie. Your best friend, remember? I’m not supposed to be hard to talk to.”
He gave a little snort. “I know. I guess that’s one of those things I’m hoping will change.” He finished with Sadie’s hooves and put the pick back on the shelf, grabbing the straps and hitching her up.
Rosie had been a little nervous before, her stomach doing slow waves, but that information made her knees start to shake. Would Cord want to take her for a drive to tell her that he didn’t want to be friends with her anymore? Did breaking up with Rosalin have something to do with that?
She was borrowing trouble with those thoughts, and she knew it.
Slower than Cord, Rosie still knew how to hook the traces up, and she grabbed the lines she needed to start. They worked in silence for a while, until both horses were hitched. Then, she held the lines while Cord opened the big door, and they guided the horses to the sleigh. They’d done this a hundred times together, and Rosie helped him without saying anything, trying to calm herself down.
Mrs. Stryker’s words came back to her. Maybe it was that. Or maybe it was that she was worried that Cord didn’t want to be friends anymore. Maybe he was gonna tell her she couldn’t live in his house after all.
Whatever it was, she didn’t usually admire the smooth way he worked, the confidence he displayed around the big horses, the strength in his legs, and the gentleness in his voice as he spoke to them. But she found herself watching and listening, feeling the cold wind on her face, aware of the openness of the vast landscape around them. There was a wild beauty that called to her and made her feel restless for some reason.
Finally, the horses were ready.
“Let me help you up,” Cord said, holding out his hand.
She’d gotten herself up a hundred times before. A thousand times before.
She looked at his hand, then looked at him. Their eyes met. Their breath was frosty in the cold air, little puffs as they both breathed shallowly. She did not move her eyes from him as she put her hand in his.
His right eyebrow twitched, and one lip lifted in an almost smile.
He was not engaged to Rosalin anymore. It was okay for her to put her hand in his and look into his eyes, thinking more than friend thoughts.
“I don’t know if I ever thanked you for everything you’ve done for me over the years.” His voice was soft and deep. There was a part of her, a big part, that responded to it, wanting to move closer.
“You have. You’ve done a lot for me too. That’s what friends do.”
“Yeah.” He seemed to shake himself and put a hand on her back as she stepped up.
She sat in the seat, waiting for him to walk around and climb up. He started the horses and didn’t say much for a while. Was it going to be the way it was when they were hitching them up? Where he said he had something to talk about and he never got around to talking about it?
She turned her head to the front and admired how the brilliant blue sky contrasted with the pristine white snow. The sun shone brightly, at a steep angle, and made her squint. She barely noticed it, though. Her whole focus was on the cowboy beside her.
He drove in silence for a while, and she determined to wait. She’d always enjoyed riding with him, and she shared his love of the horses. Bill and Sadie had been with them for over a decade, and they’d spent a lot of time over the years working together with them. Probably Bill and Sadie were two of the reasons that Cord and she had not only been good friends through high school but had become even closer, best friends. The horses weren’t hers. But she loved them like they were.
Beside her, Cord shifted, jiggling the reins in his hands and adjusting his position so that his shoulders were square and he stared straight ahead.
“I, uh, I wanted to talk to you about what I did on my trip.” He seemed to find the horses’ ears ver
y interesting.
Rosie couldn’t tell a thing from looking at his profile. “Okay?”
“I told you that I stopped to see Rosalin. That we’re no longer engaged.”
She nodded, although he didn’t look at her, so he wouldn’t know.
“I wanted to tell you why I did that.”
If he wanted to tell her why, that was weird, since he made no move to do so. Five minutes or more went by. It felt like forever. But she didn’t think it was her place to try to hurry him along. After all, she hadn’t had anything to do with it, and he’d resisted her prompting so far.
Finally, he shifted a little and spoke without looking at her. “I see Rosalin as a show horse. Fancy. With all the pretty ribbons and bows and fancy hardware. The tooled saddle. The brand-new lines, and all the best equipment that money can buy.”
He took a deep breath before he continued. “You’re more like a workhorse. Obviously, you guys are twins, and you’re hard to tell apart sometimes. I’ve known you forever and just recently proved that sometimes I can’t even do it. But you? You’re steady. You don’t have all the fancy bling. You’re just...there.”
Rosie knew he probably didn’t mean those words to hurt her, but they did prick at the area around her heart. Everything he said was true, of course. But there was something in her, maybe her feminine vanity, that wanted to be special. Special to someone at least. Maybe she wanted her best friend to think she was special, even if he had been engaged to her twin sister. She didn’t want to be the girl who was just...there.
“Aren’t you gonna say anything?” He turned to glance at her but looked back over the horses’ ears almost immediately.
She lifted her chin and gazed out over the North Dakota landscape away from him. Hoping her voice came out breezy and unconcerned, she said, “I know Rosalin has a way about her. I’ve admired it for years. You’re right. She’s like a show horse, one of those pretty ones with the brushed-out mane and tail. A high-stepping Tennessee Walker, maybe. She draws attention. You’re right. Even though we look exactly the same, people’s eyes, men’s eyes, linger on her. It’s not my imagination; it’s just the way it is.”
The Cowboy's Marriage Mistake Page 13
