Samantha Cocker (Cocker Brothers Book 21)

by Faleena Hopkins

  Lexi and I are staring at him. I’m the one to call it out. “Have you always lived in Atlanta, Hunter?”

  He stares at me, expression unreadable, and does not say a word.

  Lexi wags a finger at him. He snatches it like he’s going to pull it off. She bends it like he was successful. And they both say at the same time, “Oh!”

  They’ve been doing that since we were kids.

  I turn toward the pink roses Mom sent, thinking about this strange advice. “I don’t see them face-to-face that often. Maybe once every couple weeks.”

  In unison, my siblings say, “Exactly.”

  Tugging out the card, I read it again. To the biggest star in Atlanta. Love, Mom.

  Do I want to just be the biggest star in Atlanta—which I’m not—or do I want a chance to shine even brighter with audiences three times the size? Maybe four, five, six!

  I’ve never been to New York.

  What is it like?

  There’s a sneaky smile in Lexi’s voice behind me. “She’s thinking about it. See that?”

  “I am.”

  “What could it hurt? You go. You check it out. If you like it, then you tell them!” I meet her eyes as she shrugs away any implications that this is a terrible idea. “And if you don’t, then you just come back here as if it never happened. Zoe and I will save your room. You have enough money to keep paying rent, right?”

  “Yes.”

  Three knocks sound on my door. “Places, Samantha!”

  "Coming!” I turn to the mirror to check my makeup, running my finger along the edge of my lips for a clean line of pale pink lipstick. I’m supposed to look like I sprung from his dreams, a cloud he can’t catch hold of.

  Hunter says, “You’re too tied to the family, Sam. Live a little.”

  I roll my eyes and stand up, locking eyes with him in the reflection. “If Max and Caden knew what we were talking about right now, we would be in such trouble.”

  Their laughs are so mischievous that a smile cracks through my concern. I spin around, the decision made.

  She hugs me, “Have a fantastic last show in Georgia, Broadway star!”

  “Knock ‘em dead, Sam,” Hunter smirks, skipping the hug to vanish out of my dressing room door.

  Lexi whispers to me, “He has lived outside of the city, hasn’t he?!”

  “It’s so weird!”

  “I bet if I look outside he will be gone.” She snaps, jumps over, peeks out, looks over her shoulder and hisses, “I knew it!”

  I flip the switch, sending shadows flying in. “How did he get to be so cool?”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  LOGAN

  We knew it was sold out, but we didn’t expect four standing ovations. Looks like we’ll be missed. It bodes well for the reception New York will give us. That’s the prognosis.

  Backstage is packed with family and friends congratulating us on a successful preview run. Approximately half of the singers and background dancers are not coming with us. Some look depressed even as they accept roses from those who came to see them.

  But there are a few others who don’t seem to mind, who are riding high after a great ride, even if it was a little short. My sister, Hope, shrugs, “I don’t see what the big deal is.”

  Mom ignores her, “You were amazing, Logan. I didn’t realize what a great voice you’ve grown into!”

  But Dad isn’t as kind to Hope. “I don’t know why we gave you that name. Because you certainly never have any, or give any.”

  “Dad!” I snap, protective of her by instinct. He’s never lost it that severely before. It must be the ghost of his dancer-past. Seeing me onstage like this has got to give him and Mom memories.

  She’s rubbing her face, and says nothing.

  He claps a hand on my shoulder, struggling to contain his unprecedented rage at Hope. “I don’t think I’ve ever been more proud.” He looks at his hand, stretching it. “Your mother kept squeezing my fingers every time you hit one of those high notes. I know you got the dance skills from us, but that voice! Where did you get that from?”

  I shake my head once, not great at accepting compliments. Over their shoulders I see Samantha with her family further down, taking up the biggest area onstage. The techs opened the curtains once the house cleared to give this farewell some room. Down below are empty rows of seats with a few stragglers around them. The orchestra has gone home, the pit silent.

  “It really is the end, isn’t it? I might not ever come back here.”

  Hope frowns, and my mom bursts into my arms. “Oh Logan!” Dad huffs through his nose, gaze dropping as she says, “You’re coming to our place for dinner one more night before you leave, promise me! You’re all packed?”

  We separate and I rake my hair. “Yes to both. Since we have a lot of new cast members that have to be trained, rehearsals start day after tomorrow.”

  “Oh no! We know how it is, but please don’t go out with the rest of the cast tonight! Can’t you come and spend one last night with us, since you’ll be with them from now on, every day, every night—”

  “—Yeah, Mom. I don’t want to go out with the cast tonight.” My gaze cuts to Samantha’s smile. “I’d rather be with you guys.”

  Dad asks, “You already buy your ticket? Because I wouldn’t mind—”

  “I bought it. I’m all set. Hope, you coming for dinner?”

  She grumbles, “I have plans.”

  “Okay, but can I talk to you a second alone, then?”

  Her blue eyes flicker. “Sure, yeah. I have a second.”

  Mom and Dad say their temporary goodbyes, the awkwardness palpable as they walk off and she whispers something to him. He swats her away.

  Hope watches them and warily turns to me. “This is new.”

  “I have to ask you something. You’ll give it to me straight.”

  With interest, she slowly nods, “I’m listening.”

  I jump off the stage motioning for her to follow. She’s not used to this environment so she climbs down slowly and sets her loafers on the carpeted floor like she wants to make sure the ground isn’t going to move on her. We walk up the center aisle, vacant seats on either side. At a good distance away from any potential eavesdroppers, I lower my voice. “I found out that Asher might have dropped the girl that Samantha replaced, on purpose. I want to tell Sam. Problem is she’s dating him.”

  “Really? Why do you think he dropped that girl?”

  “So that Samantha would rise up in the ranks.”

  Hope waves her hand. “No, I meant what makes you think that?”

  “A few people think it.”

  “Why didn’t you tell her tonight? When did you find out? I’m assuming this was recently?”

  “There was no way he was going to drop her in front of our last audience. I don’t think he’s going to drop her at all, because I think he’s falling in love with her.”

  Hope takes a step closer. “Logan, what happens when he falls out of love with her?” Her eyebrows go up as she stares at me with meaning. “You wanted it straight. You got it straight. I have never liked Samantha, you know that. But if there’s a chance of her…”

  I growl, “Don’t even say it,” the image unbearable.

  Zipping up her coat, my grumpy sister walks away. “Enjoy New York. I hear it’s a shit hole.”

  Scanning the stage for Asher, I don’t see him anywhere. But Samantha and I lock eyes. She’s watching me as her family members are in animated conversations around her. She’s so lucky to have so many of them, and that she gets along with all of them, too.

  I mouth, “Can I talk to you?”

  She nods and holds my look for a second before turning to her mom and forcing a smile.

  Fellow cast members congratulate me as I head to my dressing room. Alfredo is clearing his stuff. “I wish I were going with you, Logan. If I were younger and didn’t have a family here…” He trails off, the rest of the sentence not needed.

  “I’m going to miss you, Dad.�
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  He laughs, hugs me, slaps my back once and squeezes me really hard. “Thanks, son, I needed that.” Pulling away, he wipes his cheek. “It sure was fun while it lasted.”

  Frowning, I watch him lift the roses his wife had sent. He read the card to me before we went on tonight. It read, Thank you for staying here with us. Have an amazing last night. Love, Judy, Ryan, Cecily, and Leon. He told me Leon was the dog, and showed me a picture of their big-tongued black Lab.

  All packed up, he grabs my arm. “You have fun up there for me.”

  “I will. Take care of yourself, Alfredo.”

  He disappears and Samantha takes his place, smiling as she tentatively knocks on my door. “Hey stranger.”

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  LOGAN

  I lock the door for our private conversation. What I have to tell her will rob her of that smile I’ve missed for weeks, the one she’s giving to him. “You looking forward to New York, Logan? Are you as excited as I am?” She straddles my chair backwards. On a shrug she doesn’t know is sexy, Samantha asks, “And a little scared?”

  “What are you afraid of?” I take a couple steps closer. With her looking up at me like this it’s easy to imagine my pants down, her hands around my cock. Perfect height. Maybe if I’d said something earlier, made a move, kissed her without warning, Asher wouldn’t be taking the place I was meant for in her life. We could be in here celebrating, about to travel with a show, maybe go around the world after that, if we were lucky.

  “What am I afraid of? New place. Never been. All that jazz.”

  We both break into the famous chorus, “And all that jazz.”

  She grins, but I frown. Our recent dynamic. I hate it. “I went once when I was a kid. My parents took me to see Lion King. There are a lot of people and even more buildings. Can’t see the sky most ways you look. But I was twelve.”

  “You didn’t like it?”

  “I loved it.”

  She laughs, “I can’t wait.” Her beautiful brown eyes darken. “What did you want to talk about?”

  “Something on your mind?”

  “No.”

  “It looks like you just had a—”

  “There’s nothing on my mind, Logan.” She pauses, hugging the back of the chair, long eyelashes dropping. “Just wondering what’s up.” Throwing me a fake smile she asks, “Been a while since you wanted to talk to me.”

  I always want to talk to you. That’s my torture.

  I walk to Alfredo’s mirror and hold her look in the reflection as I begin, “How well do you know Asher?”

  Slow and measured, she replies, “I’m getting to know him, why?”

  “You love him?”

  A blush rises and she looks away. “Why does it feel weird to talk with you about this?”

  Because we’re supposed to be more than friends, in a perfect world. But the world is shit. “Because you know I think he’s—”

  “Logan, just stop,” she sighs. “This is why I haven’t talked to you about him. You think I could with you acting like Hope?”

  “At least you know where she stands.”

  Samantha gapes at me. “You’ve never defended your sister’s cynicism before.”

  “First for everything.”

  “I’m not insulting your family, I was just stating a fact. Don’t get all defensive.”

  I swoop down in front of where she sits, grab the back of her chair, and get down on one knee before her. “What if I told you that he might have dropped Marion on purpose so you’d get the part?”

  Samantha blinks at me, a haunted look seeping in. “Logan, that’s not funny.”

  “Am I laughing? Am I laughing, Sam?”

  She leaps out of the chair and paces in a frantic circle. “I can’t believe you just said that. Do you know how evil he would have to be?”

  I hold out my hands to show her I’ve only truth to offer. “I didn’t want to believe it either.”

  “But you do now?!”

  “I’m just being careful.” We stare at each other. “For you!”

  She grabs her head. “Logan, that is crazy!” Running up to me, she demands, “What is wrong with you lately? Why do you hate him so much? Nobody would purposefully hurt someone like that just to forward the career of someone they like! He wouldn’t have done that for me. It’s just not possible. I can’t believe that about anyone!”

  “Marion said she might have done it, had she been him.”

  Sam blinks, first baffled, now disgusted. “I don’t want to hear this. That’s not a world I want to live in.”

  “Me neither, Sam, but it’s the world we’re in.” Grabbing her hands so she’ll stop pacing, I tell her, “If we’re going to survive on Broadway, we have to get thicker skins. You can’t live in a bubble anymore. Some people are going to be vicious. You have to watch your back. A friend might stab you just because you become successful and they want what you have. Jealousy is rampant in the theater. You should have seen the look in Galloway’s eyes when she warned me that the higher you go, the more brutal it gets.”

  Samantha yanks her hands away. “I don’t want that!”

  “Then look at Asher with your eyes open, for your own safety.”

  She slowly shakes her head. “He didn’t drop Marion on purpose. No way. I’ve looked into his soul on that stage, Logan. It’s not evil. I would be able to tell.” She passes me for the door.

  I block it. “Sam, I love you.”

  My heart stops.

  I didn’t mean to say that.

  I wish to God I could take it back.

  From the look in her eyes…

  She loves me, too.

  As a friend.

  “Logan!” she softens and wilts, touching my chest and retrieving her hand like she doesn’t want to lead me on. “Don’t say that. You don’t mean it.”

  I laugh, “I don’t?”

  “We’re like brother and sister, Logan. You’re just confused.”

  Chewing my lip as anger grows, I sneer, “Go to him, then. Go to the guy who gave you your big break.” I emphasize the double entendre of the final word.

  Sam shakes her head, tears gathering. “Don’t be like that. You’re hurting me.”

  There’s a fist around my heart, twisting it as I turn my back on her. “Why are you still here?”

  She meets my eyes in the reflection, fumbles with the old, silver doorknob and runs out.

  I grab the vase of roses that Stuart Rogess sent me as congratulations. They crash against the wall, water and shards spinning through the air.

  I grab a lamp from the antique dresser in the corner, and break that, too.

  The table gets overturned.

  The dresser, as I roar with fury.

  A few singers fly into my doorway, “You alright, Logan?”

  “Get out of here!”

  Nobody hesitates.

  Galloway walks in. “Does this mean you’re coming with us?”

  I snarl at her, “Didn’t I say I was?”

  She smiles, “You just did.”

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  SAMANTHA

  I ’m shaking, not climbing, into Lexi’s car.

  “What’s going on? Why are you trembling?”

  “Can you please take me to the Four Seasons?”

  As we pull out of the parking spot she asks, “I take it that’s where Asher is staying?” She sees my nod and mutters, “What are you going to do? Don’t tell me this is the night.”

  “Please just drive.”

  We’re silent for a few streets. “Sam, if you’re this freaked, you shouldn’t do it tonight.”

  “Logan just told me he loves me.”

  “What?!” She yanks the steering wheel over, causing cars behind us to honk like crazy. Putting the car in ‘park’ Lexi flips in her seat. “He told you he loves you!”

  “And that Asher might have dropped Marion on purpose.”

  Lexi stares at me, and explodes even louder, “What?!!”

 
“I need to find out if it’s true.” Covering my face, I start to cry. “Oh my God, Lexi. He said he loves me. I just lost my best friend!”

  She reaches over and wraps me up in some big-sister love, murmuring against my hair as she holds my shaking shoulders. “First of all, I’m your best friend and you’re never losing me. Second, if he loves you…”

  “If he loves me…what? I won’t lose him?”

  “No, you will. Unless you love him, too.”

  “Of course I love him!”

  “Romantically?”

  “No! He’s like my…”

  We both say at the same time, “Brother,” and she nods, petting me. “But he loves you in a different way. So that won’t work, Sam.” Her voice softens more. “I’m sorry, but it can’t work. You would just hurt him.”

  “I’m hurt, too! I’m losing my friend!”

  “Oh Sammy, I wish I could make it go away.”

  The sobs wrack through my body until I have nothing left. Finally, Lexi sits back with a forlorn sigh. “I have some tissues in the glove compartment. Let’s go to the Four Seasons.”

  “I can’t go looking like this.” Snatching the traveler-size case, I tug some free and wipe my face.

  Lexi asks, like she can read my mind, “Was he just saying that because he’s jealous?”

  My voice is hoarse, throat tight. “I’m trying not to believe that! He wouldn’t do that.”

  Looking in her rearview to merge with traffic, she nods, “No, he wouldn’t. So, you want to go home? I’m assuming you don’t want to go to the cast party in this condition.”

  “Take me to the hotel.”

  Trepidation hisses through her teeth. “Here we go.”

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  SAMANTHA

  L exi is following me into the lobby.

  I repeat, “Go home!”

  “No chance.”

  Our heels tap along slick marble floors. “I need to do this on my own.”