Friar Tuck

by Robert Alexander Wason

  CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

  A SIDE-TRIP TO SKELTY'S

  We all crowded around him, thinkin' 'at the bruise betokened some sortof trouble; but he said he'd got afraid they'd begin to suspicion him;so he had tried to ride a hoss that day, and had let it buck him off.He said the' wasn't much lettin' needed, as it had been a mean one;but he had got his forehead grazed, and had lain on the ground,claimin' his back was hurt. It was only about eight o'clock, and wewondered how he had the nerve to come so early; but he said they werehavin' a drinkin' bout over havin' dogged a feller by the name o'Bryce off his claim on Ice Crick, thus gettin' a new outlet to grassand water.

  He said the woman had been mighty good to him after his fall; but thathe couldn't get her to talk about herself at all. "Have you evermentioned the name of Carmichael to her?" I asked.

  "No," sez he, "why should I?"

  "That's the Friar's name," sez I. "He used to preach in a regularchurch down east, and she sang in the choir. Next time you get achance, try to draw her out about this."

  The Friar told him a lot o' small details to ask her about; and wentpart way back with him, as he wouldn't stay long for fear o' bein'missed. The Friar insisted on stayin' along with us, while Olaf wentback to the Spread.

  Two nights after this Promotheus came up to our camp again. He said hehad had several talks with her, and that she remembered the names andplaces, all right, but insisted that Carmichael was dead. She said heoften came to her in her dreams; but that she knew he had died longago.

  "Does she ever sing?" asked the Friar.

  "Never," sez The. "She don't even talk much. She has some sort of apain in her head, and sometimes she seems to wander; but at othertimes she is perfectly clear."

  "Is Ty Jones ever mean to her?" asked the Friar.

  "Never," sez The. "Ty ain't mean to those about him. He has his ownidees--he likes to have his men and dogs and hosses all fierce andnervy--but he's not mean to 'em. And all the boys treat herrespectful, too. Fact is, I don't see where we got any grounds to takeher away."

  "But she does not care for him," sez the Friar; "she could not carefor him! He must have used trick or force to bring her here; and youmust find out the truth about it. It all depends on you, now."

  "I'm doin' all I can, Friar," sez The; "but it's a hard tangle to seethrough."

  When he left to go back, me an' the Friar and Horace went with him."Supposin' they should see you comin' back?" sez the Friar.

  "Well," sez The, "Ty don't keep his men in prison, and I'd tell 'em Iwas up takin' a little air after bein' shut away from it so long."

  "Supposin' they got suspicious an' follered ya?" asked the Friar.

  "I try to be as careful as I can," sez The; "but I own up I allus feela bit nervous till I get back to my bunk."

  "The best plan is for one of us to wait where the path leads down intothe ravine each night at eleven," sez the Friar. "We could go at tenand wait until twelve. If we went any closer, the dogs might get scentof us."

  We agreed 'at this would be the best plan; and after this, two of usmade it a point to spend a couple of hours waitin' there, while therest stayed at the look-out ready to hustle down if the' was anyexcitement; but nothin' happened and we got purty fidgetty.

  "Tank," sez I one afternoon, "let's ride over to Skelty's. The'sgenerally some Cross-branders there, and perhaps we can find a littleamusement."

  We reached there about seven, and ordered supper. There were fiveCross-branders there already, eatin' and drinkin'; and one of 'em wasthe tall feller by the name o' Dixon. I nodded to him when I sat downand he nodded back. It's funny the way a man feels when he goes intoan unfriendly place to measure an' be measured. It's not like fear,that is, not like panicky fear; but still I suppose it's somethinglike what a jack-rabbit feels when the hounds are strung out afterhim. He knows well enough what'll happen if he can't run fastenough--but then he takes a heap of exhilaration in the thought thathe most certainly can run fast enough.

  All those fellers knew something o' me an' ol' Tank; while Dixon wasthe only one we knew, the rest bein' mostly young chaps who had takenon with Ty durin' the last few years; but as most o' Ty's men weretrailed out o' some other state by a posse, it was a safe bet thatthey had more or less rattler blood in 'em. They were all on friendlyterms with the girls, and the girls called 'em by name, whenever theycouldn't think up some other term 'at suited their taste better. Oneo' these young fellers still had a boy's eyes; but most o' their eyeswere purty hard an' chilly.

  I never did set any store on havin' a strange woman call me "dear";and neither did ol' Tank. With his eye runnin' wild, and his mussed-upfeatures, the term dear fitted him about as snug as false bangs an'face-powder would; but one o' these young hussies came over an' stoodbehind his chair, and sez: "Why hello, dearie, where have you been allthe time?"

  "I've been over teachin' my grandchildren how to play the pianer," sezTank. "Have you got any pork an' beans?"

  Most any girl knows 'at most any man'll stand for most anything; sothis one grabbed hold o' Tank's hair and gave it a pull; but shesavvied 'at he didn't have any love for her, so she brought in hisgrub, threw it down in front of him, and went back to soft-soapin' thefeller with a boy's eyes. He was still young enough to feel flatteredby it, and truth to tell, she wasn't a bad lookin' girl, except thatshe drenched a feller so constant with her feminine charms that shewashed away any hankerin's for 'em he might have had to begin with.

  Any healthy woman has all the allurement she can possibly need, ifshe'll just take care of it. I like to see a hoss full o' fire, and Ilike to see a woman full of enticement; but I like to see both thefire an' the enticement kept under good control, and not made to showout unnecessary.

  Once, when I was in Frisco, I saw a parade of the Friendly Order ofHindu Cats, and the Grand Thomas Cat o' Creation rode in front on anold gray hoss. This hoss had feet like worn-out brooms, and the' wasknots all over his legs. All he asked in the way of entertainment wasto pass a peaceful day in a quiet stable, face to face with a bale ofhay; but they had clipped his mane an' tail, hung a beaded belt acrosshis brisket, put a scarlet blanket on him, and jabbed him with spursuntil he was irritated to a degree.

  The feller ridin' him had learned to ride in a barber's chair; but hehad a heavy frown, and a lot o' gold lace, and a big canoe-shaped hat;and I have to admit that if they had tied him fast to the saddle, andput rubber spurs on him, he would have looked the part like a picture.Every time he'd see one of his friends he'd stab the hoss on the offside, then jerk back on the curb, and smile benevolent, as though heintended to save the populace from that fiery steed or sprain everybone in his face.

  The old gray was as forgivin' a hoss as I ever see; but he had hislimits as well as the rest of us. For the first ten or fifteen blocks,he'd only swish his tail and prance when his rider jabbed him an orderfor a little more fire; but finally his flanks got touchy, and hissense o' justice began to write the declaration of independence on hispatience. This would have been the time an intelligent human wouldhave traded off his spurs for an apple or a lump o' sugar, or someother welcome little peace-offerin'; but just then the parade passedunder a window jammed full o' the Grand Thomas Cat's closest friends,and o' course, they had to see a little fire.

  He straightened out his legs, and then clamped the spurs into the oldgray's flanks. I had fought my way through the crowd for fifteensquares just to see it happen, and it was well worth it. The gray wasstiff and awkward, but in his youth he had taken a few lessons inbuckin', and what he lacked in speed and practice, he made up inearnestness. The Thomas Cat didn't know any more about balancing thana ball, and the grip of his knees wouldn't have put a dent in apullet's egg; the' was no horn to the saddle, and the mane had beenclipped, so all he had to hang on with was the spurs and the curb bit;and things certainly did happen.

  The old gray pitched and kicked and reared and backed and snorted andgot mixed up with flags and citizens and umbrellas and red-lemonadestands and policemen; until finally he
scraped off the Grand ThomasCat of Creation on an awning, and tore off home, jumpin' and kickin';while the population threw their hats in the air and yelled theirpalates loose. They threw fruit and popcorn and friendly advice at theGrand Cat as he hung from the awning; but friend or foe, the' wasn't asoul in that crowd to help him get down; so as soon as he got calmenough to remember what he was, he dropped the three feet to thesidewalk, and ran into the store and hid.

  If ya want to fill a crowd with content and satisfaction and joy andfelicity and such-like items, just have some terrible accident happento a popular hero, and all the joy-wells'll overflow and gush forthlike fountains--But what made me think o' this little incident was thefact that this girl at Skelty's put the spurs to her feminine charms aleetle too continuous.

  Dixon, the Cross-brander, was one o' these lean, skinny ones, and as arule, I don't crave to make their acquaintance. His Adam's apple ranup and down in his neck like a dumbwaiter, and the' was plenty o'distance for consid'able of a run. If ya looked at just the part ofhim between his chin and his shoulders, he resembled an ostrich,chokin' on an orange; but I decided to be as friendly as possible; soas soon as I'd filled a cigarette paper, I offered him my sack o'tobacco. He took it, and while he was rollin' himself a cigarette, hesez: "I see you've cut loose from your preacher."

  "Nope," sez I, "he cut loose from me."

  "How come you fellers spend so much time out this way?" sez he.

  "Nice country and pleasant folks," sez I.

  "I've heard tell 'at you got so familiar over at the Diamond Dot, thatthe old man turned ya loose," sez he. "Is the' anything to it?"

  I didn't reply at once. My first impulse was to see if I couldn't pullhim and his Adam's apple apart; for this wasn't no accident. This wasa studied insult, and every one there was watchin' to see what wouldhappen; but the' was too much at stake; so I gripped myself until Ihad time to put that remark where it wouldn't run any risk o'spoilin'; and then I sez: "Well, I don't just like to have it put thatway; but I will admit that you haven't missed it so terrible far."

  "Lookin' for a job?" sez he.

  "Oh, I'm not carin' much," sez I. "I'm thinkin' some o' takin' ahomestead, or buyin' some other feller out; but I ain't in any hurry.I may go on down into Texas, or take on again up here. Any chance fora job with your outfit?"

  Durin' the time I had been decidin' on what I'd say, Dixon had beenwonderin' how I'd take it; and I don't doubt he was some relieved.Anyway, he thawed out a little. "Nope, I hardly think so," sez he."We've been hard pushed for grass this season; but Ty bought awater-right on Ice Crick, and things has smoothed out again. Anotherthing is, that Badger-face has come back."

  I gave a start as natural as life, and I didn't put it on, neither. Ihad no idy he'd mention Badger-face without a lot o' pumpin'."Badger-face?" sez I. "Good Lord, I thought he was dead!"

  "Well, we thought so, too," sez Dixon. "We hadn't heard a word fromhim; but he showed up a while back, and as soon as he gets able, he'lltake to ridin' again."

  "What's wrong with him?" sez I.

  "He's purty well played out," sez Dixon. "He sez 'at that feller,Bradford, is some sort of a government agent. Now, we ain't gotnothin' again' the government out this way, so long as it minds itsown business; but when it gets to interferin' with our rights, why itgenerally has to find a new agent. You were along with this feller,Bradford, when he scooped in Badger-face; and I doubt if that hasslipped Badger's mind yet. Badger's memory for such things used to bepurty reliable."

  "Well, if it comes to that," sez I, "I'd rather have Badger-face on mytrail than Dinky Bradford; though I own up, I don't just know whatgovernment position Dinky holds."

  "Ol' man Williams there was along with ya, too, wasn't he?" sez Dixon.

  "Sure he was," sez I. "We got a heap better paid, for that trip 'n weusually get."

  "Yes," sez he, slow an' drawly, "but a feller can never tell when he'sall paid out for such a trip as that."

  "A feller has to take chances in everything," sez I. "I still got alittle money left to amuse myself with."

  "It don't seem to make ya reckless," sez he. Dixon had been drinkin'purty freely, and I rather liked the effect liquor had on him.

  "Maxwell," I called, "this is a dry summer. Set up the drinks for thehouse." Some saloon-keepers fawn on ya as if they'd melt the money outo' your clothes while some of 'em are cold and haughty, as though itwas an insult to offer 'em money. Maxwell was one o' this kind. Heglared his red eyes at me as if I'd been rude; but he set out thedrinks all right.

  Tank had been shut away from drink for so long that I had plumb forgothow he had happened to win his title; but as soon as I had give theorder, I sensed that he was in the mood to sluice himself outthorough. The very minute we had cooled off from the drinks--Maxwellkept a brand o' poison which would eat holes in an iron kettle, if youlet it set five minutes--Well, the very instant the steam had stoppedcomin' out of our mouths, Tank ordered a round; and before that hadgot on good terms with the first drink, Spider Kelley had arrived.

  Mexican Slim had guessed where we were headin' for, and Tank had ownedup to it, and Slim had told Spider, and, o' course, Spider hadn't beenable to stay behind; so when he stuck his nose in the door, Tank sez'at the drinks was always on the last-comer, and Spider ordered around.

  I can journey about with a fair amount o' booze, without lettin' itsplash over into my conversation; but I was there on business, so Idrank as short drinks as would seem sociable. Tank, on the other hand,had formerly been as immune to liquor as a glass bottle; but he wasout o' practice without realizin' it; and he splashed into Maxwell'sforty-rod as though he was a trout hurryin' back to his nativeelement. Spider was a wise old rat, and he played safe, the same asme. O' course, the Cross-branders couldn't stand by and see uspurchase Maxwell's entire stock, without makin' a few bids themselves;so for a while, we peered at the ceiling purty tol'able frequent.

  The young feller with the boy's eyes was chin-ful to begin with, theother three Cross-branders were purty well calloused to a liberalsupply o' turpentine; while Dixon would load up his dumb-waiter andsend it down as unconcerned as though his throat was a lead pipe,connectin' with an irrigation ditch. He had reached the stage where hewas reckless but not thoughtless, and the' didn't seem any way to washhim down grade any farther.

  "Any more o' you fellers liable to drop in?" sez he, lookin' at me. Iwaved my hand towards Spider, as though he, bein' the last to arrive,would have the latest news; and Spider sez: "Nope, I reckon not.Leastwise, not so far as I know."

  "Badger-face has come back and taken on with Ty again," sez I.

  "The hell he has!" exclaimed Spider, just as I knew he would.

  "Yes," sez Dixon with an evil chuckle, "he's come back, and I doubt ifhe'd feel any sorrow at meetin' up with some o' you boys."

  "As far as I remember," sez ol' Tank, bulkin' up as ponderous as ajustice o' the peace, "I don't recall havin' asked Badger's permissionto do anything in the past, and I don't intend to begin now."

  "Well," sez Dixon, "I don't mind tellin' ya that Ty Jones ain't sosure o' Badger as he used to be; and nothin' would suit him so well asto see Badger cut loose and get some o' you fellers for helpin' tohave him railroaded."

  This surprised me. Dixon didn't seem a shade worse 'n he'd been whenSpider arrived, but he'd sure enough leaked out the news I was after.Ty was suspicious o' Promotheus, and we'd have to finish our job assoon as possible. I didn't want to start anything at Skelty's so Iproposed a little friendly poker. The Kid was asleep in the corner; sothe seven of us played stud for an hour or so until Tank fell out ofhis chair, and then we broke up for the night.

  Tank was all in; so we had to put him to bed, and the Kid had to beput to bed, also; but Dixon and the other three took a final drink andstarted back to Ty's.