Safe Havens Bundle

by Sandy James

  “Friend? No.” She let her hurt show, hunching her shoulders and bowing her head. “You were correct. I was nothing but her servant.” The blunt words sounded raw to her own ears, making her wonder if he’d caught her barely leashed ire. She tried to tamp it down, doing what she always did to unpleasant memories—whitewashing them until they hurt less. “At least by being close to Jacqueline I could share in her education. I can read, write, and cipher. Father Depardieu often shared his books with me. Which I suppose answers your question on why I speak so well. I was always around people who had manners and elocution. I simply copied them. I fear the only thing I didn’t master was French. The Colberts insisted they were Americans and should speak English. They only slipped on occasion, usually when angry.”

  He stood behind her chair, rubbing the stiffness out of her shoulders.

  Sara relaxed. The way his touch eased the sting in her muscles made her stop sewing. She closed her eyes and let him work his magic.

  Caleb was having a hard time keeping his hands off his wife. At least she allowed his touch. Her neck and shoulders were knotted, but she softened with his touch. The rubbing turned to caressing, and when he brushed aside her braid and pressed a kiss to the side of her neck, she tilted her head, gave a little mewl, and let him play.

  Her skin bore the scent of the rose petal soap, and he breathed in deeply. “You smell like heaven,” he said, tracing the shape of her ear with the tip of his tongue.

  She shivered in response.

  Moving to stand in front of her, Caleb set Sara’s sewing aside. Then he took her hands and pulled her to her feet. She came into his arms unbidden, and he smiled as he enfolded her in his embrace. “Where’s Jacqueline now?”

  Her whole body stiffened, making him curse in his mind. He should’ve left the topic alone. She’d said her piece. But no, he always had to push a little harder. He just couldn’t understand why she wasn’t still with the woman. They’d been raised together. Surely this Jacqueline Colbert would want to keep Sara close.

  His mama always told him his unyielding curiosity would be the end of him.

  “She died at eighteen,” Sara replied. “Her mother blamed me.”

  “Why?”

  “I should make some supper.”

  Although she might want to divert him from the topic, something important was hiding in this story—something beyond getting to know his bride. He wouldn’t allow her to raise a shield. “Why did Mrs. Colbert blame you?”

  “I caught a fever. Many of the servants did as well. When Jacqueline fell ill, she didn’t recover. She died three weeks after taking to her sickbed. I was told I killed her.”

  “You did no such thing!”

  Resting her forehead against his chest, she sighed. “I should’ve been more careful. The first cough. The first sneeze. I should have known to stay away. She was so...fragile. And then she was gone.”

  While Jacqueline and her parents had clearly seen Sara as nothing more than an indentured servant, Sara had loved Jacqueline. He could hear it in her every word. “Did you go back to your mama and papa?”

  “I think I’ve lost my appetite. I’d like to bathe and then get some sleep.”

  Caleb squeezed her a little tighter against him. “Honesty, sweetheart. Remember? I–I need to know what happened to you.”

  “Why?” she whispered.

  “’Cause I think you need to tell someone the truth about how you ended up here in White Pines.”

  She laid her cheek against his chest. “Mrs. Colbert wanted me tossed out, not even a scrap of clothing to go with me. After all I’d done...how I helped Jacqueline... She would’ve tossed me out like rubbish.”

  He stroked her hair, wanting to undo her braid so he could lace his fingers through the silky strands. “I’m so sorry.”

  As though she hadn’t heard him, she pressed on. “Jean-Claude...um...Mr. Colbert kept me on as his...assistant.”

  Ah, but her tone betrayed her. She’d felt something for that man. “You loved him, didn’t you?”

  “Caleb, please... I don’t wish to speak of that time or of him.”

  In all his life, Caleb had never felt jealousy over a woman. When Ty Bishop had courted Cassandra Shay, Caleb hadn’t even been able to muster the emotion. That jealousy would seize him so swiftly and so strongly came as a surprise. But there it was, nevertheless, and although she hadn’t confirmed his suspicions, he knew that this Jean-Claude had been her lover.

  Was he the man who’d left the scars on her heart?

  He hadn’t realized she’d begun to cry until her muffled sob made him quit his questions. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I shouldn’t have hounded you.”

  When Sara pushed against him, he let her go. “I will explain. One day. I’m just...this has all happened so quickly. The trip from Denver and becoming your wife and—”

  “Denver? How in the devil did Reverend Hayes find you in Denver? Told me he had plenty of ladies willing to come out here in his church in St. Louis.”

  Her eyes widened and she took several quick breaths. “W–who is Reverend Hayes?”

  Caleb’s stomach plummeted to his boots, and his heart slammed furiously against his ribcage. Something was wrong. Very wrong. “Reverend Hayes. The man who sent you out here to marry me.”

  Sara’s hand flew to her mouth.

  “Sara? Sweetheart? Didn’t Reverend Hayes send you?”

  She shook her head, eyes still as wide as a doe’s.

  They simply stood there, staring at each other as Caleb listened to his heartbeat thundering in his ears.

  He’d made a mistake—a huge mistake. Sara hadn’t come because of the money he’d sent with the good reverend.

  Then where exactly had she come from?

  “How did you know I wanted a wife?” His voice was hoarse with his fear.

  “Oh, Caleb...” Tears pooled in her eyes and then spilled over her lashes. “I thought... I assumed... Sweet Lord, you weren’t waiting for me. You were waiting for someone else.” She wrapped her arms around her middle and moaned as though in pain. “We’ve made a big mistake.”

  Chapter Six

  Near panic, Caleb needed her to explain. Quickly. “Answer me, Sara! Who told you I wanted a wife?”

  Her anxiety was as clear as his own. Her hands trembled and her breathing sped. “No one. I came here because of my brother.”

  His stomach churned. “Your brother?”

  “Ty. Ty Bishop.”

  Caleb picked up the block of wood he’d been carving and hurled it at the wall. “Bishop? Bishop! I should’ve known! That bastard!”

  His history with Ty Bishop had been contentious since both men had sought Cassandra Shay’s hand in marriage. Caleb had wanted a wife, and Cassie had been beautiful and smart and one of the few suitable single women he’d met in near to four years.

  Was this some kind of revenge?

  The way Sara stared at him, wide-eyed with a touch of fear, helped his senses slowly return.

  Sending her to him hadn’t been Ty’s elaborate plan for revenge. What revenge was there in helping Caleb marry a woman like Sara? She was a blessing.

  There were so many questions swirling through his mind he could barely grasp a single one. The most obvious came first. “Your name ain’t Bishop.”

  “Ty uses our mother’s maiden name.”

  “Why?”

  “He hates our father. He would never claim himself to be a Fuller.”

  Caleb shook his head in dismay. He was caught in some trap, one designed by a man he disliked. Yet this trap had given him exactly what he wanted. So why was he even considering chewing off his own leg to get out of it?

  Sara sank back into the chair, wringing her hands in her lap. “The stage. I should’ve... When you were there... Who is Reverend Hayes? What does he have to do with you marrying me?”

  “Nothing. And everything.”

  Raking his fingers through his hair with an unsteady hand, he tried to figure out what to tell her. Sara
was his wife—the marriage had been consummated. There was no going back, not unless he decided to pursue a divorce. That simply wasn’t done. No one in White Pines would ever speak to him again. And Ty Bishop would have his head on a platter.

  Hell, once Caleb let Ty know he’d wedded and bedded his sister without his permission, he’d be lucky if he didn’t have an ugly feud on his hands. Sides would be taken, and Caleb feared most of the town would sympathize with Ty.

  “Who’s Reverend Hayes, Caleb?” She’d fisted her hands and pounded them against her thighs. “I need to know.”

  “I–I gave him money and a letter asking for a bride. He said he knew single women in St. Louis who’d love to come to Montana, that he’d find me a wife. I thought you were the woman he sent. I got a message a week ago sayin’ she’d be here any day.”

  “That’s why you were waiting on the stage. Oh, my God. I thought... I thought my brother had sent you.” She popped to her feet and grabbed her coat. “I am a fool.”

  “What are you doing?”

  “I’m going back to town.”

  “Don’t be daft. It’s dark. You got nowhere to go anyway.”

  Until she let out a shuddering breath, he hadn’t realized she was close to tears. He went to her and gently took the coat from her hands to hang it back up. “Sara...you can’t go.”

  She clutched for his hands. “This can be fixed, Caleb. I know it can. We’ve only been married a day. Surely the reverend who married us can just... I don’t know... tear up the marriage certificate? We can all act as though this never happened.”

  Caleb could taste her fear, and he couldn’t tell if that fear was because she’d married him and now wanted to escape—or was there something else dogging her heels, something she hadn’t told him yet, something that would come to light when their marriage was revealed to her brother.

  “There were other witnesses, Sara. And my brother was there. We can’t pretend this marriage didn’t happen. I don’t want to pretend.”

  “I need to go,” Sara insisted, her voice nearly hysterical. She pulled away to start pacing, turning in tight circles before pacing some more. The clip of her boot heels against the floor sounded much like the ticking of a grandfather clock. “We can make this right for you, Caleb. I’ll do whatever I can to make this right for you.”

  “But you’re my wife now. It’s done. It can’t be undone.”

  “A day. We’ve barely been married one day. There’s nothing but a piece of paper binding us. The reverend will surely understand.”

  Caleb stepped in front of her, tugging her into his arms and holding her tight, relieved she didn’t struggle. The rug had been pulled out from under him, and he wasn’t sure exactly what his best choice was. All he knew was that as he’d sat there carving and watching his wife sew, a contentment the likes of which he’d never enjoyed before had settled over him. It had felt...right.

  Sara Fuller might not have been the bride he’d expected to have, but she was the bride he’d gotten.

  And he wasn’t going to let her go.

  He kissed the top of her head. “Listen to me, Sara. What’s done is done.”

  “But—”

  “Listen. Please.”

  She nodded and then rested her forehead against his chest.

  “We’ve only been married a day, but we are married. Don’t matter if it’s a day or thirty years. The certificate might only be a piece of paper, but that ain’t all binding us. We stated our vows before God. I ain’t walking away from that commitment, and I ain’t letting you walk away, neither.”

  Her chin rose until she was looking into his eyes. The fear hadn’t vanished. “You don’t know me, Caleb. I’m not what you wanted in a bride.”

  “You’re exactly what I wanted. Young. Healthy. Strong. Ready to make a life with me on this farm.” A rueful chuckle slipped out. “Didn’t rightly want Ty Bishop as my brother-in-law, but I guess I gotta take the bad with the good.”

  Sara wasn’t relaxing with his teasing. Instead, she slipped her hands between them and pushed against his chest. “You don’t understand. You don’t know me. I wasn’t the woman you wanted...the one you planned for. We should end this.”

  When she tried to step back, he grabbed her by the waist. “Know what Ma always told me when I was growin’ up?”

  “Caleb, you have to let me go.”

  “Ma said everything happens for a reason. You’re my wife now.” He leaned in to brush a kiss over her frowning lips. “Let it be, sweetheart.”

  “But there was no reason for you to marry a woman like me.”

  Sara wanted to scream. She wanted to pound her fists against the walls and let loose of the anger and hurt coursing through her.

  She should’ve known. Good things never happened to her. She was Sara Fuller—the woman who always seemed to court disaster. The moment Caleb told her he was there for her, she’d let herself believe that all the bad in her life had been left behind in Denver.

  She’d been wrong.

  Now she found herself in the life she’d always dreamed of with a handsome husband and hope for the future.

  It was all a lie.

  “We can fix this, Caleb.” When she tried to pull away, he gripped her tighter.

  “I don’t wanna fix this, Sara. You’re my wife.”

  “I’m not.”

  “You are.”

  He’d never understand if she didn’t tell him the full truth, no matter how much it humiliated her. “Jean-Claude Colbert—”

  “Was your lover,” Caleb calmly finished her sentence.

  Sara gasped. “How could you know that?”

  The look he gave her seemed too much like pity. “I could hear it in your voice, in the way you talked about him.” He let go of her waist long enough to stroke her cheek with the back of his knuckles. “You think you’re the first young lady who gave her virtue to a man she thought she loved? Hell, Sara...the world’s full of ’em. When you talked about him, I could tell.”

  She shook her head, but he grasped her chin.

  “Know why Ma and Pa came all the way out here when they got rich?” he asked.

  The question piqued her curiosity enough to allow a short distraction. “Why?”

  “’Cause they thought cities destroyed people and they weren’t gonna let that happen to them.”

  “You’re speaking in riddles again...”

  Caleb led her to the bedroom, sat on the bed, and dragged her down to sit beside him. Then he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “I need to tell you ’bout Ma and Pa, and... Well, I hope you understand and don’t judge ’em too harshly.”

  A little snort slipped out. After the life she’d led, there was no way she could judge another human being for any mistakes. “I won’t. I promise.”

  “Pa left home in ’49. He was only fifteen. His pa had left him, his ma, and his sister before Pa even got to know him. They were so damned poor, and once Pa got wind of the gold they’d found in California? He was hightailing it there faster than a jackrabbit.”

  Since some of her customers had been miners who’d come far too late to the party at Sutter Mill, she knew of the draw of gold. So many had gone in search of it. So few had found any.

  Judging from the home Caleb’s father had built, he’d been one of the few.

  “Pa staked his claim and made his fortune. Then he met Ma.” Caleb hesitated, pulling his arm away from her shoulders and grasping her hand. While he thought things over, he stroked her palm with his thumb.

  Sara didn’t pull away. This marriage would be ended soon enough, but she let his touch soothe her for now as he told the story of his parents. The fact he was sharing it told her he trusted her.

  Honesty.

  He’d asked for honesty.

  But could she truly offer that to him?

  “Ma was...” He let out an exaggerated sigh. “She was a whore, Sara.”

  A gasp slipped from her lips. “She told you this?”

  Caleb gave her a br
usque nod. “She weren’t proud of it, but she and Pa told us ’cause they didn’t want us to hear it from someone else. Said the past had a habit of sneakin’ up behind a body and bitin’ him in the a— um...backside.”

  Still aghast that a mother would reveal something so humiliating to her sons, all Sara could do was listen to the tale of another woman who’d walked the same treacherous path.

  “She kept herself alive by selling herself. Pa met her, decided she was for him, and snatched her away from that life. He sold his claim—made another fortune selling it, mind you—and dragged her here. No one knew them in White Pines. No one judged ’em. He was one of the founding fathers, and he never once shared his past or Ma’s with the others. He just helped build a town outta nowhere so he’d have a place to start with a clean slate.”

  He turned his head and nudged her chin up so she was staring in his eyes. “Everyone needs a chance at a new start, Sara. Even women who fall in love with the Jean-Claudes of the world.”

  At least this was something she could be honest about. “I did love him, you see. I knew he was married, and although he told me he’d leave his wife, I knew that would never happen. I let him...keep me in a place where he could come to see me at his leisure. I was no better than—”

  “Don’t.” His hand squeezed her. “You don’t have to say it.”

  She frowned before giving him a curt nod. “Then one day, he tired of me.” Then he’d sent a man to drag her to The Palace after he sold her to Crazy Kate.

  “That’s why you came here.”

  Caleb was wrong. There was more. Much more.

  Despite what he’d told her about his mother, Sara couldn’t confess the rest of her sins. The notion that she’d be so much less worthy in his eyes turned her stomach. There would be forgiveness, of that she had no doubt. What she couldn’t allow was any esteem he held for her to be lost.

  Better to walk away and never return.

  Ty would take her in. Surely he and Cassie would be generous, just as he’d promised in his letters. Once she made a home with them, she could watch Caleb from a distance.