by Marie, Carly
Spencer didn't say much to me. Actually, he didn't say anything at all until I'd finished my bag of crackers. "You're an absolute mess," he said, producing a baby wipe from what seemed to be thin air and wiping my face then hands. "Are you going to play some more?"
I looked over to see Trent feeding his pup the last of his graham crackers while Aiden wiggled away from the wipe in protest. "Toys, Daddy."
"And you're a mess. How did you get that applesauce on your nose? It's a pouch—it just goes in your mouth!" Trent went after his nose again with the wipe, and I watched Aiden flinch. When Trent was satisfied, he gave Aiden a little push. "Go, take puppy and play nicely with your friends."
The two made it no more than a few steps before they stopped and Aiden put his hands on his hips. "Coming or not?" He sounded bossy, but he was smiling.
I glanced up at Spencer, unsure what to do. I didn't know if I was quite in the same headspace I'd been in earlier, but I also wasn't sure I wanted to have a discussion about the things going through either of our heads at that point. Spencer gave me a nod and a smile and a gentle push up, silently telling me to go.
I worried my lip for a second before following instructions. Adult thoughts were getting in the way of playing with the toys that had been so fun just a little bit earlier. What did Spencer think? Was he mad? Was he upset? Was he as confused as I was? The biggest fear was the conversation that would inevitably happen later on. How in the hell would I explain my feelings to him?
Aiden sat down and Curious curled up beside him for pets. "What's wrong?" Aiden asked. "You look like you're going to puke."
"Not playing gave me time to think." That wasn't a great explanation about what was going on in my head, but it was all I could give them. "This is a lot to process." I gestured around the room at everything going on and noticed that Caleb was walking back to us.
The voice from beneath the puppy hood caused me to startle slightly. "Do you not want to be here tonight?" I could only detect concern from Curious… or was he Logan now?
I shook my head, then realized that was going to come across wrong. "I do want to be here, but I think maybe I jumped in too fast."
Caleb settled beside Aiden with a stuffed dinosaur in his hand. "Isn't that something you should have talked to your Daddy about?"
I nearly swallowed my tongue, then felt my face heat. "Spencer's not my Daddy."
Three sets of very confused eyes stared at me. Even though I couldn't see his entire face, Logan's brows were expressive enough. "Um, you two are married. How isn't he your Daddy?"
I chewed the inside of my cheek so aggressively I tasted copper. "I saw the room a while back." I gestured toward the normal littles' area. "I was intrigued, but didn't know how to tell Spence." The confused looks weren't going away, so I continued. "When the club advertised tonight, I didn't really tell him about it—I just made sure we could come."
The confusion turned to shock and Aiden found words first. "I'd totally get spanked for that."
Logan nodded. "Oh yeah, Trent and I don't even have that type of relationship and I'd be punished for that one."
Caleb tilted his head to the side while he thought. "He gave you juice and a snack."
I winced slightly. "Only because your Daddies shared your snacks."
Caleb hummed as he turned the information over in his head. "I was watching him. He looked a little confused—and now I know why—but he didn't look upset at all. He still doesn't."
I couldn't help it. My head turned to the side so I could see Spencer, and Caleb was right. He was talking with Trent and Travis, but his eyes were focused on us… specifically me. I felt my cheeks heat and I ducked my head.
Sighing, I pinched the bridge of my nose. "I really didn't know how to bring all this up. I thought this would be a good way to introduce both of us to the lifestyle, just an accidental happening upon it. That way we could see if we liked it… together. I didn't expect to find people I knew and get pulled into play so easily."
Aiden gave me a soft smile. "You had fun, right?"
"I did. A lot of fun. It was nice to just… be, for once." I groaned at myself. "I really should have told him first."
Logan pulled Aiden closer to him as he nodded. "That's going to be a fun trip home. Speaking of trips home, Trent's pointing to his watch. I think that means it's close to someone's bedtime."
Aiden pouted. "And you have to go to work."
"Unfortunately, yes. We better go before we both end up unhappy tonight."
Aiden and Logan headed off and Caleb finally gave up and yawned. "Are you going to be okay talking to Spencer alone or do you want Daddy and me to stick around?"
I looked over at my husband, whose gaze had drifted to where Trent was getting a coat on Aiden while Logan bounced about. His smile was genuine and I saw laughter in his eyes. "I appreciate it, but I'll be fine, just uncomfortable."
At that point, Trent had to raise his voice slightly, a combination of amusement and exasperation, and that allowed it to filter toward us. "Pup, stop. You're acting like someone put ants in your pants!"
Caleb chuckled. "I've never seen him without ants in his pants. The man never stops moving."
"That would be exhausting. Between chasing the kids around, I sit on the couch and write or read."
Caleb's grin was infectious. "You did a pretty good job keeping up with Curious, though."
"I did, didn't I?" It had been fun. I liked pretending to be a dragon protecting the castle. I loved dragons anyway, and how often could an adult really be a dragon in the first place?
"I think Logan really enjoyed it. He's so active and Aiden and I aren't. I mean, Aiden can be, but he's usually more reserved."
"I didn't just like playing with Logan." That had been harder to admit than I’d thought it would be, and the blush I could feel heating my cheeks told the same story. I didn’t know why I hadn't expected to lose myself in play. Part of me had just brushed this off as morbid curiosity.
Caleb hugged his dinosaur to his body. "How do you think your husband is going to react?"
That was the million dollar question. "I really don't know. He seemed really confused when we arrived."
Caleb looked around the room and smiled fondly. "Then you got distracted with our awesomeness and never told him how you're feeling."
"Avoidance for the win," I said, trying to joke about it.
Caleb began to laugh, but it was cut off with a yawn that his Daddy noticed. Travis called over to where we were sitting. "Come on, sweet boy, it's time to go home."
Caleb looked a little guilty as he glanced back at me. "Are you sure you'll be good? Daddy will stay if I tell him you want someone with you while you talk to Spencer. Heck, he'd talk to your husband and answer all sorts of questions too. If that would help you."
If Dexter's friends were all so sweet, I wanted to spend more time with them. "I'll be okay, I promise."
Caleb didn't look convinced, but was torn between going to Travis and staying with me. Finally, he held up a finger in the general direction of his Daddy, then looked back at me. "Can I get your number from Dexter later? Just to check up on you. I'm kinda worried about leaving you."
His concern was touching. "Yeah, that's fine. We'll be okay, promise." I was pretty sure it would be fine, anyway. Spencer had spent most of the evening with a soft smile on his face. That had to be a good sign. Right?
Caleb gave me one last look, then nodded before heading off.
I sat there for a moment thinking before I felt someone behind me. "Ready to head home? Or do you want to hang out a little longer?" Spencer didn't sound upset, and I couldn't detect anything but genuine interest in his voice.
I glanced around the room and saw that it wasn't anywhere near as busy as it had been when we’d arrived. I wasn't really in the mood to play by that point, so I didn't see a reason to sit around and avoid the inevitable conversation. "We can go."
Spencer nodded and held out his hand to help me to my feet. It felt diffe
rent than it would have a few hours earlier, but I couldn't explain why. Once I was on my feet, Spencer pressed a kiss to my forehead. "Do you need to go to the bathroom before we leave?"
My blush came back with a vengeance, though now that he mentioned it, I did need to go to the bathroom. It wasn't an emergency, but if I didn't go before we left, I'd certainly be uncomfortable by the time we got home.
I nodded my head, then promptly wanted to die of embarrassment as Spencer led me directly to the single stall bathroom. As he locked the door behind us, I realized that he had every intention of watching me. We'd never been shy about peeing with the other around, but this was different. This was him watching me. This was something a Daddy would do. It left my belly full of butterflies and my dick not sure if it should get hard or stay soft.
"I'm not going to be able to pee with you hovering over me."
My attempt at humor fell flat when Spencer cleared his throat. "Go potty, Gray."
As I tugged the elastic of my shorts down to work my dick out of my underwear, I took a moment to look down my body. From my dragon-print shirt to the brightly colored socks, I didn't look like I was over forty, a husband, and father of two. I looked… well, I looked younger. Not like I ever looked all that old to begin with, but I usually didn't look this young.
At least the distraction helped me forget about Spencer hovering over me, and my bladder muscles relaxed. Thankfully I didn't need to focus much in order to pee, because as soon as the flow started, I got lost in thoughts about the evening. When Spencer's voice cut through them, I jumped in surprise. "Good job. Let's wash your hands."
Chapter Three
Spencer
If Grayson's blush stayed on his face much longer, I feared it would be permanent. I'd spent the last two hours trying to figure out what the hell I was watching. The entire night had been like stepping into an alternate reality from the minute I'd walked in the door at home until now. It wasn't going to get any more normal because we still had to talk about what had happened tonight.
Whether Grayson wanted to or not. I fully suspected his feelings fell heavily on not.
I turned the water on and waited for it to warm up before stepping behind my husband and guiding his hands to the water. Tension radiated from him, but as I lathered soap between his palms, I heard a little sigh escape his lips. Grayson had no idea how to react, and I was going on instinct alone. Well, instinct and a little guidance from Travis and Trent.
I'd been just as shocked as Grayson when we ran into James and Dexter's friends, though part of me was relieved to have them talk me through some of what was happening. At first glance I'd been overwhelmed by what I was seeing. I'd already begun to put pieces together when Trent and Travis came to sit next to me. Gray's outfit choice, the way he was sitting on the floor watching what was going on. He'd been expecting this.
For the time being, at least until we left DASH, I had one job and one job only: take care of Grayson.
"All done," I said when I was certain his hands were free of soap.
Grayson hadn't said anything while I'd washed his hands, but every glance I'd taken in the mirror showed that he'd been nibbling his lip. I hated that he was nervous, but I had no idea how to ease those worries until we were in the car. I was glad the kids were at my brother's house for the night because I didn't foresee the impending conversation being over quickly.
I grabbed a paper towel from the dispenser and dried my hands well, then grabbed a few more for Grayson's hands. "Hands out." When he didn't immediately hold his hands toward me, I reached for them. Once I had his hands wrapped in the towels, I smiled at him. This felt good, it felt right, but hell if I could explain why. "Come on, let's go get our coats."
Grayson linked his fingers in mine without prompting, but he hadn't met my eyes yet. This wasn't like my husband. Before I unlocked the door, I pulled him close and wrapped my free arm around him. "I love you, Gray."
Grayson sighed and I felt him nod against my shoulder. "Love you too."
When he didn't seem to be willing to break the hug on his own, I kissed his cheek, then stepped back. "Come on, babe. Let's get out of here. I really don't want to spend the night in a bathroom." For my husband, I'd do it in a heartbeat, but I knew we'd both be more comfortable somewhere—anywhere—else.
He didn't argue with me, so I unlocked the door and led us to the front of the club where we managed to retrieve our coats quickly. We made it as far as the lobby when Alice stopped us. "Did you have fun tonight?" she asked Grayson.
The blush flared back to life, but I watched him closely and saw him nod his head. "I did."
"Find some boys to play with?" Alice had no idea what she was asking. She was being her friendly self, but Grayson had barely said three words to me since Caleb and Travis left.
"Yeah," he said shyly, but a tentative smile spread across his face. "I was a dragon and protected the castle from the puppy who was trying to get to the prince." An excitement I hadn't heard from Grayson in years bubbled to the surface in just that short sentence.
I had no idea if Alice really cared or not, but if she didn't, she faked it well. "Oh, that sounds fun. You must have found Curious if you were playing with a puppy. I'm pretty sure he was the only one here tonight."
Grayson's head bobbed up and down, and with it, he bounced slightly. "I did! He was fun, even if he was really hyper. And Aiden and Caleb were super sweet too."
A fond smile graced Alice's lips. "I adore those boys. They're the sweetest."
I was in awe. I'd been trying to get Grayson to open up for ten minutes and he'd hardly spoken to me. A smile and a question from the receptionist and my husband was bubbling over with excitement. Before that night, it had been years since I'd seen Grayson so uninhibited. Now it seemed like he was ready to show everyone but me that side of himself. That left me with a sinking feeling in my stomach.
How long had he felt like this? How long had he been hiding it?
"They were really nice. They didn't mind letting me play with them. And I got juice and Goldfish and snuggles." He shot me a tentative smile at the last part. "He gives really good snuggles."
Part of me was surprised that snuggling into me while he ate his snack even made the list. I didn't know why, but it seemed insignificant compared to everything else that had happened. Despite feeling as though my world had been turned on its head that evening, I found myself smiling at the knowledge that it had been special to him.
Alice's voice pulled me out of my thoughts. "Those are all very important things."
Grayson finally stopped wiggling and became serious. "They are." Then he shot a glance my way. "We should probably get going."
"Alright, you two have a good night. We'll see you next time?"
I squeezed Grayson's hand. "I hope so." His brown eyes widened with surprise, but I'd meant the words. I genuinely hoped that, if Grayson wanted this again, we'd be able to come back. I'd enjoyed watching him play and be so free.
"Bye," Grayson said with a wave as he turned to the door.
I gave Alice a wave and followed behind my husband, who was giving me whiplash. He'd gone from my husband as we arrived at the club, to a happy and carefree boy, back to my husband, back to the excitable boy, and back to my husband again, and each switch seemed to only take a few seconds. I couldn't keep up with his changes to save my life. I could almost handle excitable Grayson better than the adult one who was walking through the parking lot like a demon was on his heels.
Doubt continued to creep in. Why had Grayson not told me? Why had he kept this from me?
I'd voiced my concerns to Travis and Trent, and they'd both reassured me that it was probably something Grayson didn't have the words to explain himself. Hell, it could have been something he was just discovering.
I clicked the key fob to unlock the car doors and watched as Grayson slid into the passenger seat before I'd even made my way to the car. I didn't have to be near him to see the confusion and uncertainty radiating off of him
.
My hand hesitated before gripping the handle of the door. What was I going to say to him? The two of us had always worked to keep an open line of communication. My parents' turning their back on me at seventeen had done a number on me when it came to trust, so I'd spent most of my relationship with Grayson trying to be as open as humanly possible.
I'd spent years trying to show him that there was nothing he could do or say that would make me think less of him. Had I done something wrong?
Fuck.
I sucked in a deep breath of crisp December air and gripped the door handle with all the confidence I could muster. At the end of the day, it didn't matter to me if he wanted to be a puppy, or a little, or if he didn't like either—all that mattered to me was his happiness.
It took effort to relax my body enough that I could sit comfortably in the seat, and I sighed as I clicked my belt into place. There was nothing left to do but talk to my husband and see where his head was.
Why was that so hard to do?
I mentally chastised myself as I put the car in reverse, then turned toward my husband. "I'm so sorry." Well, that wasn’t what I'd meant to say.
We both cursed under our breath. "Shit."
Not exactly what I'd expected, but before I could ask him to explain his response, Grayson pushed words out. "You have no reason to be sorry. I'm the one that needs to apologize. I swear I didn't know we would know anyone there tonight."
I had questions, a lot of them, and with that, it didn't seem like I should be driving. Since I hadn't moved the car yet, I put it back into park and angled my body toward him.
Judging by how shocked everyone seemed, I didn't doubt his words. "But would that have changed the outcome of tonight?"
Grayson let out an uncomfortable chuckle. "No? Yes? Fuck, I don't know." He scrubbed his hands over his face. "I just wanted to see. I was… interested. I just… It was…" He growled in frustration. "It was just so big in my head! I didn't know how to tell you; I didn't know how to bring it up. I thought that tonight we could go together, see it together. Then I could see what you thought about it. That it would be easier to talk about it if I could see your reaction to the entire scene first. If you looked repulsed, I was just going to laugh it off."
