Don't Rhine on My Parade

by Erin Evans

  Chapter Sixteen

  “It would be safer to go at night!” Jonathan said forcibly.

  “We don’t have time to wait for dark!” Cecily shot back, “The Synod could call for a vote tonight, will you vote for her before she steals the statue for you?”

  The two men looked at me.

  “Now that I have met you,” Kethudrim said solemnly, “I would trust you to complete your word.” I smiled. “But,” my smile faltered, “my people will not. I agree with Cecily. This must be done as soon as possible.”

  “Great,” I said. “So, we go to Orlando. Walk into the homeless shelter, and then what?”

  “We cannot walk in,” Kethudrim said.

  “What?” This was not sounding good.

  “The witches have a shield set up,” Cecily explained, “No magical creature can pass through. You’ll have to go in alone.”

  “Just the way I like it,” I said sarcastically. “How am I supposed to find this statue?”

  Kethudrim looked up, “Do you have a pair of sunglasses?” he asked.

  “Yes.”

  He looked thoughtful, “I could perhaps coat them with a spell that will allow you to see magical energies.”

  “Huh?”

  “It will highlight magical forces to your eyes. You should be able to easily pinpoint the statue. The building is not that large.”

  “Yeah, but I doubt they have the statue sitting out in the lobby.”

  “True, but the glasses should help.”

  “So I go in, command the people to let me into the back, find the statue, stick it in my purse, and leave.”

  Jonathan looked worried, “Your powers might not work against the stronger witches. Have you been practicing with your Voice?”

  “Just the last day or so, I haven’t used it at all for years before that.” I felt embarrassed. “I don’t like it,” I explained. “It’s not right to use it on people, so I don’t.” I needed to be honest, “Except lately. Because I had to.”

  Kethudrim nodded, “That is wise. Becoming immortal at this time could affect the Synod’s vote.”

  “Okay, so—” his word’s hit me, “Immortal?” I screeched.

  “Yes, didn’t you know?”

  I wanted to shake him, “Know what?”

  Cecily stood up and edged into the kitchen with her glass in hand.

  “The more you use your Voice the more you are exposing your body to magic. There is a very real chance that it could change you enough for you to become immortal.” Kethudrim said this like it was a good thing.

  I stared at him, jaw slack. “You’re kidding right?”

  He looked puzzled, “No, and while becoming immortal now would prevent you from joining the USB as a human, it would not necessarily be a bad thing later on.”

  “Not a bad thing? Not a bad thing?” My voice went through the roof. “How is that not a bad thing? How in the world would I explain that to my husband? Oh sorry honey, you noticed that you look eighty-four while I still look in my twenties? Forget my husband, what about my kids? What about the rest of the world? If people found out, they would lock me up in a lab to study me for the rest of my life! Which would be a very long time for me!”

  “You might have to move around a bit to avoid detection,” Kethudrim agreed, “perhaps even leave your family, but you would live forever!”

  I shook my head, “You don’t get it. I’m not leaving my family. I don’t want to live forever. I want to grow old with my husband, see my grandkids, and then die at a ripe old age. I do not want to be immortal!”

  Jonathan slapped his hand on the table, “All of this is beside the point. You will not have the chance to become immortal tomorrow if you do not steal that statue for us today.”

  Cecily peeked out of the kitchen to see if it was safe to come back.

  “You knew about this!” I cornered her.

  She threw her hands up in the air, “It could happen, Piper. It doesn’t have to! If you don’t use your Voice all the time you should be fine!”

  “Super. So, you tell me if I use my Voice I turn non-human and live forever, and then send me off on a mission where I will have to use my Voice.” I was thoroughly annoyed.

  “You don’t have to use your Voice,” Jonathan pointed out, “you only have to if you want to succeed.”

  “Oh, thanks. Thanks a whole bunch for that. That was so helpful. I’m feeling tons better.”

  “I was just pointing out the facts,” he said snidely.

  “Well keep your stupid facts to yourself,” I growled.

  Harvey chose that moment to wake up and drag his yawning little body into the kitchen. Some watchdog he was. He stopped, sniffed Jonathan’s shoe and then started a cacophony of yipping and snarling. The phone rang while I was trying to hush him so as not to wake the girls. It was my mother.

  “What is going on over there?” she asked.

  “Nothing, Mom,” I scooped up Harvey and held him under one arm while balancing the phone between ear and shoulder. “How’s California?”

  “Oh, it’s just wonderful! We are having such a great time! And you really need to call your sister. She says she called you a couple of days ago and you haven’t called her back.”

  “Okay,” I added it to my mental “to do” list, somewhere underneath robbing a homeless shelter and saving the human race.

  “Don’t just say okay and not do it!” she scolded, “you need to make more of an effort to stay in touch.”

  “Mom, I have a great relationship with Karen. Now Sarah …”

  “That reminds me, I talked to Sarah today and she told me all about last night.”

  “She did?” I was suspicious.

  “Yes, and you are really being too hard on her! I know I told you to keep an eye on her, but you need to cut her some slack. She is young and stubborn and needs to figure things out on her own.”

  “But Mom—”

  “No buts! You should think about apologizing to her. It might help mend your relationship.”

  “Apologize!”

  “Yes, oh dear, I need to run, talk to you later! Give my love to the girls! Bye!” She hung up.

  I stared at the phone. Kethudrim and Jonathan were politely studying the map and pretending to ignore me. Cecily on the other hand, was looking at me with wide open, innocent eyes.

  “So,” she said seriously, “Are you going to apologize to your little sister?”

  I threw the phone at her head. She caught it lightly in the air and placed it back on the receiver.

  I sighed loudly and set Harvey back on the ground. He snuffed at Jonathan’s feet and then allowed himself to be picked up and scratched behind the ears. Traitor.

  Cecily gave me a weak smile, “Are we ready to go?”

  I glared at her, “No, we’re not ready to go yet. We’re waiting on the babysitter.”

  “Oh.” She looked around, “Maybe we should go wait in the car next door.” Kethudrim and Jonathan followed her. Harvey howled after them, I didn’t blame him. I wanted to howl too.

  I heard Carolyn’s car pull up in the driveway and braced myself.

  “Hey, Carolyn!” I greeted her warmly, “Thanks so much for coming over on such short notice.”

  She sniffed, “Yes, it was short notice, dear.” She glanced over her shoulder, “Just put that in the kitchen, you can start in there.”

  At first I was confused, thinking she was talking to me. Then I peered around her and saw the dark-haired, girl standing demurely behind her. She was wearing a maid’s uniform with the logo “Speedy Cleaners,” embroidered on the chest. I looked back at Carolyn. She wouldn’t dare! She did dare.

  “I know you won’t mind, darling,” she smiled coldly. “I thought your house could use a good cleaning. Consider it my gift to you.”

  I opened my mouth to tell her where she could put her gift and caught a glimpse of Cecily next door, leaning against the car and yawning. I bit my tongue and tried my best to smile.

  “Okay
,” was the best I could come up with. “I’ll be back later. The girls are still napping. Thanks.”

  I walked out without a backwards glance and tried to keep my head high. I felt bad leaving Harvey there in the danger zone, but maybe he would be smart and hide like Otis.

  “Ready?” Jonathan asked, holding the car door for me.

  “Yup. Ready as I’ll ever be.”

  It took us longer to drive through Orlando than it took to actually get there. Jonathan was driving and he gave me a long, technical lecture about something called “ley lines” and how the intersection of two ley lines could be used to form a Zipline. I understood maybe a third of it all. What I got was that invisible threads of magic covered the globe and were all somehow connected when we used magic. And you could somehow travel between intersecting points, like we were doing between Melbourne and Orlando.

  Kethudrim commandeered my sunglasses and muttered over them for a long time. Cecily took a quick nap. I just sat there getting more and more nervous. I alternately between wishing the car ride would last forever and wishing that we were already there and done with it. The suspense was killing me.

  The actual event probably could as well.

  I started when Kethudrim tossed my shades into my lap. “Put them on when you enter the building. Objects that are strongly infused with magic should glow.”

  “Magic. Glow. Right.”

  Jonathan pulled off onto the side of the road. “We’re close.” My heart sank and I wanted to hurl. “Let’s go over the plan.”

  “What plan?” I snapped. “Seems to me like it’s throw Piper to the wind and hope it all works out!”

  Cecily woke up, “Whaa—?” she yawned, “Are we there?”

  “Yes,” Jonathan glowered at me, “We will drop you off as close as we can get to the shield, you will have to walk in, command the humans to help you, and look through the building for the statue. You will leave this in its place.” He handed me a metal object the size of a grapefruit.

  “What is this?” I asked.

  “You don’t need to know.”

  I crossed my arms stubbornly, “Then I’m not taking it.”

  “Oh quit being a baby!” Cecily exclaimed, snatching the ball and examining it. “It’s a magic disrupter. It will take down the shield.”

  “A magic disrupter?” I was suspicious. “Is that the same thing as a bomb?”

  Jonathan ignored my squeak and placed it back into my hands. “Here,” he said, “you push there, there and there, then twist the top, and press the top and the bottom at the same time.”

  I held it gingerly, “Why?”

  He continued to ignore my words, “You will have ten minutes before it activates. I would recommend not being in the building at that time.”

  “Why?” I asked again, louder this time.

  “Because,” he sounded exasperated, “the statue might be affected by the disruption.”

  “What about me?”

  “You should be fine, you’re not magical.”

  “Should be. So comforting. Tell me again why I’m going to do this?”

  “Because if you don’t, we will consider that your mission has failed and vote against you at the Synod meeting.”

  I had no response to that. I angrily started dumping things out of my purse until the disrupter thingy could fit. Cecily squeezed my shoulder.

  “Let’s do this,” I said in my best not-scared-of-anything tone. It would have come out better if my voice hadn’t cracked on the last word. I got out of the car, clutching my purse to my chest and took off.

  The window rolled down behind me, “It’s the other way,” Jonathan called.

  I turned, made a face, and started off in the other direction. So much for getting off on the right foot.

  The homeless shelter was only a couple hundred yards down the road. It was a low white building on the corner of two quiet streets. Landscaping was minimal with the usual Florida palm trees and a couple oaks. The parking lot was to the north and was surprisingly large. I counted eight cars but couldn’t decide if that was good or bad.

  As I approached the entrance I saw a low, decorative wall with the words Greater Orlando Homeless Shelter and their logo. I’d never really given much thought to the homeless before. Oh, sure, I’d volunteered at soup kitchens, and donated clothing and food, but I’d never tried to imagine what it would be like to sleep on the streets. To have no where to go. To only have the clothes on your back and whatever you could carry.

  And then, even worse, to have the very people who were supposed to be helping you doing … I really hoped I was wrong and the WAND wasn’t doing anything bad with the statue. Given what I had been told about the WAND, that seemed unlikely.

  Suddenly the building before me took on a menacing feel. A Venus flytrap, luring in unsuspecting victims.

  I had to force myself to touch the front door. It opened into a cool, dark waiting room, and for a moment I imagined being swallowed by the jaws of death. I gave myself a good shake and tried to get a grip. The place felt evil. Slippery, slimy, dark, and oppressive. All the more reason to do my job and then get out.

  The girl at the reception desk looked up and smiled as I crossed the threshold. “Hello,” she said softly, like we were in a library. “You’re a bit early for check-in, but you can sign in and wait if you like.”

  I made it up to the counter without my legs giving way and picked up the pen. There were three people signed in before me. I glanced over my shoulder at the waiting room and saw a man, sitting alone, and a mother with a little boy. The child was crying and his mother was angrily swiping at his face with a tissue and hissing at him to “get it together.”

  The man was staring at the wall with glassy, drugged out eyes. He had a dirty beard, filthy clothes, and a large hole in the toe of his heavy boots.

  “Have you been here before?” The receptionist drew my attention back to the counter.

  “No,” I croaked, then cleared my throat. “Umm, is that okay?”

  “Sure,” she smiled again, the exact same smile. It stopped at her lips. “Just sign in please.”

  I picked up the pen and started writing a “P” before rethinking. I changed mid-word and wrote “Penny Wolf.” It was the first thing that came to mind.

  The girl looked down and smiled that smile again, it was beginning to get creepy. “Do you have a phone number, Ms. Wolf?” she had to crane her head around to read my name.

  Since she obviously was thinking that I was homeless, I thought that a rather odd question. Did homeless people have phones? Cell phones maybe? I decided to play it safe.

  “No, I don’t,” I said. I placed the pen carefully down in the middle of the clipboard and turned to sit down.

  “Ms. Wolf?” I turned back, “Would you mind filling out this paperwork?” she held out another clipboard with a stack of paper on top. I took it without a word and sat down. A plan of sorts was starting to form in my brain. First thing was to get rid of any innocent bystanders. Then I would tackle little Miss Smiles and her murdering witch friends.