Undying Affinity

by Sara Naveed

  ‘I belong to you. I may not be with you all the time, but my heart is always with you.’ He held her hand gently and placed it on his chest. His words made her emotional.

  ‘I want to stay in your heart forever,’ he whispered, inhaling her fragrance.

  ‘You’re already here,’ she said, placing his hand on her chest. A tear rolled down her cheek as she spoke.

  He wiped it off and held her face gently.

  ‘No tears tonight, okay?’ he said.

  She nodded.

  ‘Now where is my birthday gift?’ he said, chuckling.

  ‘I do not know if you will like it or not but . . .’

  ‘I will love it, Miss Zarish.’

  ‘Sure?’

  He nodded.

  ‘Then close your eyes first,’ she said.

  ‘Hmm. Sounds very typical.’

  ‘Please.’

  ‘Okay. Here I go.’ He did as he was told and shut his eyes. She observed his beautiful face for a moment. She touched his face gently, examining and feeling every feature.

  ‘God has sculpted him beautifully,’ she thought.

  He was relishing the touch of her fingers and seemed totally lost in the moment. She then stepped on his shoes, making him squeal.

  ‘Ah,’ he gasped.

  ‘You’ll be fine,’ she promised.

  The tips of their cold noses touched, making her body tremble.

  He inhaled her fresh, sweet breath. Her heart skipped a beat when his hand moved down to her waist. He wrapped it around her waist, pulling her closer. A tear escaped his eyes when she looked at him. She wiped it off with the tip of her finger. Ahmar held her hand instantly and kissed her finger, making her blush.

  ‘You’re not supposed to touch me,’ she warned him in a low whisper.

  However, he did not let go of her hand. He kissed the same finger once again. Zarish looked at him tenderly. With every kiss, she melted.

  She held his face in her hands and looked at it affectionately. And then she planted a kiss on his cheek. Ahmar was dazed. He opened his eyes and pushed her back instantly, which somewhat perplexed her. He could not believe she had really kissed him.

  ‘You shouldn’t have done that,’ he said. His eyes were burning with desire. A jolt of lust hit him. He pushed her against the wall, making her squeal, and held both her hands, not letting them go.

  ‘Ahmar, please,’ she said in a pleading tone, trying to free her hands.

  ‘Do you trust me?’ he whispered.

  She nodded.

  He brought his face close to hers, and lightly kissed her on her lips.

  The kiss numbed her senses. She could not feel anything else other than his soft lips. She loved his lips on hers. She could not deny the fact that she had thought about this kiss often and had longed for it. Ahmar opened his eyes and looked at her.

  ‘Thank you for the beautiful birthday gift,’ he said, smiling.

  ‘Ahmar . . .’ she said slowly.

  ‘Hmm?’

  ‘Was this right?’ She had tears in her eyes.

  ‘There is nothing right or wrong in love, where there is love, there is nothing else, only love,’ he said, wiping away her tears.

  By now, everybody had come to know about the upcoming wedding. The couple had booked an open-air venue for the celebrations. They had invited all their students.

  ‘What? Are you serious?’ Muraad said over the phone when Ahmar told him that he was going to ask Zarish to marry him.

  Ahmar laughed at his father’s reaction.

  ‘It’s not a joke. I’m quite serious,’ Ahmar said in a clear voice.

  ‘I am very happy for you. I am coming back tomorrow,’ Muraad said. ‘But when are you going to propose?’

  ‘Soon,’ Ahmar said.

  ‘The sooner the better,’ Muraad ordered.

  ‘I miss you, Dad. Come home soon. You cannot miss Maleeha and Jamal’s wedding. The ceremonies will start from today,’ he said.

  ‘I will be there on time,’ Muraad promised.

  Zarish couldn’t decide what to wear for the wedding. She and Saleha spent hours at the shopping mall and then at the beauty salon to get the perfect look. She thought about Ahmar as she got dressed and blushed. The thought of having him by her side made her heart flutter.

  Ahmar helped Jamal arrange everything. He and Wahab did not leave his side even once.

  ‘This is a very special occasion for Jamal. He is getting married to the woman he loves,’ Wahab said, looking at Ahmar.

  ‘That’s right,’ Ahmar answered in a low whisper, thinking of Zarish.

  Before the wedding ceremony, Maleeha and Jamal had organized a sangeet night for the students. Everyone showed up including Zarish and her friends.

  Haroon stood next to Zarish and Saleha.

  ‘Hey,’ he whispered in her ear.

  She responded with a quick nod.

  ‘Will you dance with me?’

  ‘I don’t feel like dancing,’ she said.

  ‘Yeah, but . . .’

  ‘What?’ she asked.

  ‘Uh. Nothing. Never mind,’ he grumbled.

  He could feel that their relationship had changed. They were not as close as they used to be.

  Ahmar, from the other corner of the hall, glared at both of them. For obvious reasons, he did not like them interacting. He envied Haroon at times because he was her only male friend. He knew everything about her.

  Right then, Maleeha came and stood next to Ahmar.

  ‘Hello, handsome. What’s up?’ she asked, interrupting his thoughts.

  ‘Hey,’ he answered.

  ‘It seems like you are waiting for someone impatiently,’ she said in a teasing tone.

  He looked at her with a confused expression. His heart sank. Had she caught him staring at Zarish; did she know about their affair? His mind whirled with these thoughts.

  ‘What do you mean?’ he asked.

  ‘Do you remember the surprise I was talking about earlier?’

  He nodded.

  ‘That surprise will be here soon,’ she said, smiling.

  ‘It’s your wedding, Maleeha. I am supposed to give you a surprise,’ he said.

  ‘Sure. You are welcome to do that, but you need this one badly. Trust me,’ she said and winked.

  ‘Let’s see.’ He smiled half-heartedly.

  He had no idea what Maleeha was talking about. Either she had come to know about his and Zarish’s secret love affair or she was just teasing him as she always did.

  Muraad reached the venue on time. The dean of the university, Faris Ahmed, accompanied him.

  ‘I can’t believe they invited him,’ Haroon said, looking at Faris.

  Zarish and Saleha burst out laughing.

  ‘He is the dean, Haroon. Why wouldn’t they invite him?’ Saleha replied.

  ‘Let’s hit the dance floor. What do you say, girls? Shall we?’ Haroon asked both of them.

  ‘Yeah, after you,’ Saleha replied.

  Haroon left, expecting the girls to follow.

  Saleha grasped Zarish by the wrist to take her to the stage.

  ‘Wait, Saleha!’ Zarish said.

  ‘Why?’ Saleha asked.

  ‘I want to dance with Ahmar,’ Zarish said.

  ‘What? How can you dance with a professor on the stage?’ Saleha gasped.

  ‘He is not my professor. He is Ahmar. My Ahmar,’ she said.

  ‘Fine. Whatever.’ Saleha rolled her eyes and followed Haroon.

  When Ahmar observed Zarish standing alone in the corner, he went and stood next to her.

  ‘You are not going to dance?’ he whispered in her ear, startling her.

  ‘I don’t want to dance,’ she said sulkily.

  ‘Why?’ He almost frowned.

  ‘Because I want you to dance with me but at the same time I know it is not possible. I can only dream about it,’ she said solemnly.

  ‘What? Do you dream about us dancing together?’

  ‘Yes,’ she said, lo
oking at him.

  ‘I didn’t know that. I am quite surprised actually,’ he said, grinning.

  Just then, Saleha walked up to them.

  ‘Let’s go dance,’ she said, grabbing Zarish’s arm but Ahmar held her other hand.

  ‘I’m coming, Saleha,’ she said, freeing her arm.

  ‘Don’t leave me, please,’ Ahmar whispered.

  Zarish looked around in panic.

  ‘Let go of my hand, Ahmar. This is not the right place or time for this,’ she warned him.

  ‘I’m not afraid of anyone now,’ he told her.

  His response made her angry.

  ‘If he was not afraid of anyone, then why did he stop me from telling anyone?’ she wondered.

  ‘I think you’re not in your senses. I have to go.’ She freed her hand and ran away with Saleha.

  After the party, Zarish found Ahmar standing alone. She walked towards him with a smile.

  ‘Ready to leave?’ he asked.

  ‘With you? No way.’ She rolled her eyes.

  ‘Why?’ he asked.

  ‘I didn’t expect you to behave like that. Why did you hold my hand in front of so many people?’

  ‘Did anyone notice it?’

  ‘Thankfully no one did,’ she said.

  ‘Then what is the problem?’

  ‘You keep telling me not to tell anyone but then go ahead and hold my hand in front of everyone.’

  ‘Look, I’m sorry. I know it was a stupid thing to do. I will be more careful next time.’

  Zarish could see the regret in his eyes.

  ‘Hey, don’t apologize. It’s fine,’ she said, giving him a weak smile.

  ‘I was not able to control myself,’ he whispered.

  ‘Why?’ she asked, looking into his eyes.

  ‘Nothing. Get into the car. I’ll drop you home.’ He quickly shifted his gaze and opened the car for her.

  Neither of them spoke on the way back. When they had almost reached her house, she asked him the same question again.

  ‘Why couldn’t you control yourself, Ahmar?’

  ‘Hmm,’ he mumbled.

  ‘Are you hiding something from me or you don’t want to tell me?’

  ‘There is nothing to hide or tell, Zarish,’ he answered, his eyes fixed on the road.

  ‘I’ve never seen you getting possessive like this.’

  He looked at her and smiled.

  ‘Why, you don’t like it?’ he asked.

  ‘Of course, I do, but not like this.’

  ‘Zarish . . . I have to tell you something.’ He sighed heavily.

  ‘Yes, sure, go ahead.’

  ‘I don’t like your closeness with Haroon. It bothers me. Though I understand you are his best friend, I still doubt his feelings for you. Please maintain some distance from him.’

  Zarish became quiet for a moment and tried to compose herself. She knew he had problems with Haroon since the beginning of their relationship. Ahmar misunderstood her silence. He regretted saying anything.

  ‘All right. Never mind. Just forget what I said,’ he said.

  ‘No. I understand. I think I should tell Haroon everything. That is the only solution.’

  He sighed again.

  ‘Okay?’ she asked but he didn’t reply.

  ‘Ahmar? Please say something.’ She held his hand.

  ‘Zarish, I cannot even imagine losing you. Ever. I cannot go through the suffering again.’

  ‘Again?’ she asked.

  ‘Yes. Again.’

  ‘What does he mean by again? Am I his second love?’ Zarish thought bitterly.

  ‘I don’t really understand what you’re saying,’ she whispered.

  ‘I have already lost my mother, Zarish. I cannot lose you now.’

  ‘I am not going to leave you ever. Always remember that,’ she said, hugging him. She was relieved to know that there was no other woman.

  ‘I love you,’ he whispered, smiling.

  ‘I love you more,’ she replied. ‘I don’t feel like going home. I wish I could stay with you forever,’ she said, stroking his neck.

  ‘Great idea. Let’s elope,’ he said.

  ‘What? Are you serious?’ she exclaimed with a smile on her face.

  He nodded.

  ‘Let’s go then,’ she said.

  ‘But where?’ he asked.

  ‘Somewhere we can be alone. Far away from this world,’ she said, tugging at his sleeve.

  ‘We don’t have to elope, Zarish. We will be together and the whole world will acknowledge it.’

  ‘You think so?’ She raised her head to look into his eyes.

  ‘I believe so,’ he murmured, planting a quick kiss on her forehead.

  She grabbed the side of his face and tried to kiss his cheek.

  ‘Zarish, let me drive,’ he said.

  ‘No, I won’t!’ she said, laughing.

  ‘Don’t do this here. We’re almost outside your house.’

  ‘Please, Ahmar. One kiss is all I’m asking for,’ she pleaded and then giggled at her own request.

  He stopped the car on the side of the road, and turned around to look at her.

  ‘What?’ she asked, her heart pounding.

  He came closer and slowly kissed her lips, taking her by surprise.

  The kiss left Zarish breathless.

  ‘You were right. I’m not letting you go home right now,’ he said, starting the engine again.

  When Zarish did not return home on time, Zarina started worrying. She nervously paced the living room.

  ‘Relax, Zarina. She will be back soon,’ Zia said, flipping through a magazine.

  ‘Zia Sahib, she is not picking up her phone. We should be worried,’ Zarina said.

  ‘What was the need to attend this stupid wedding function?’

  ‘I don’t know. She is not even with Haroon. I asked him. He told me she left the function an hour ago.’

  ‘Did you ask her other friends? She is not with them?’

  ‘I don’t know.’

  ‘Don’t worry. She will be back soon. She’s a responsible girl,’ he assured her.

  ‘I know she is, but I don’t know what she is up to these days. She is always out with friends. It’s not good to socialize so much.’

  ‘You’re right. Do you have any idea where she spends her time? Who does she hang out with?’

  She shook her head.

  ‘Is she seeing someone?’ Zia asked.

  ‘No. I don’t think so. She is always with Haroon. But you never know.’

  ‘I will ask her tonight. Don’t worry,’ Zia said.

  Zarish did not know where they were going. But she didn’t ask him. She trusted him.

  He stopped the car in a meadow. The dark silhouettes of trees stood out against the moonlit sky. All they could hear was the chirping of the crickets and their own breathing. Her heart pounded.

  ‘Ahmar . . .’ Zarish said, reaching for his hand.

  He turned to face her, his eyes burning with passion.

  ‘Are you scared?’ he asked.

  ‘No, I’m not.’

  She held his hand tightly and looked into his eyes.

  ‘Don’t look at me like that. I won’t be able to stop myself,’ he said.

  ‘It does not matter. I know how much you want me,’ she said, clutching his collar and pulling him closer.

  She then unbuttoned his black kurta and reached for his warm neck.

  ‘I want you too,’ she whispered.

  The strong smell of citrus and wood hit her nostrils, making her want him more. She inhaled it for a second and then started kissing his neck softly. The moment her lips grazed his skin, he wrapped his arms around her waist, burying his face into her soft hair. He held her face and rubbed his nose against hers.

  Caressing her cheek with his thumb, he slowly kissed her lips. She kissed him back, a deep, long, never-ending kiss.

  The minute Zarina heard the sound of a car, she hurried towards the window to see if Zarish had returned
. Zarish slowly got out of the car and waved at Ahmar. Zarina could not see the driver’s face properly, but she was sure that it was not Haroon.

  Zarish came in and saw her father sitting in the living room all alone. Her heart skipped a beat.

  ‘Dad?’ she said.

  ‘Hey. You’re back.’

  ‘Why are you sitting here alone?’ she asked and sat beside him on the couch. She knew her father was upset.

  ‘I was waiting for you,’ he said, looking at her.

  ‘I’m sorry I kept you waiting. I had to go and visit someone.’ She did not know if she could tell her father about Ahmar. She did not know how he would react.

  ‘Who?’ Zia inquired.

  ‘Err . . . a friend from the university,’ she lied.

  ‘Hmm. We checked with Haroon and he said you weren’t with him.’

  Zarish’s face turned pale.

  ‘Where are Mom and Zahaan?’ she asked, changing the subject.

  ‘They’re upstairs.’

  ‘I should go and meet them,’ she said getting up.

  ‘Zarru.’ He held her hand.

  She turned around to look at him.

  ‘My question still remains unanswered.’

  ‘Dad . . .’ she said with a sigh. She didn’t know what else to say. She couldn’t tell him she was with Ahmar.

  ‘Who were you with?’ he asked her again.

  ‘A friend, like I said earlier,’ she maintained.

  ‘Which friend? May I know his name?’

  ‘Her,’ Zarish corrected him. ‘Her name is Saleha and she’s my classmate.’ She felt pathetic about lying to her father.

  ‘So, you were with her?’

  ‘Yeah.’

  ‘Weren’t you at the wedding party? Why did you go to her place after the function?’

  ‘Yes, I was at the party before, but then Saleha took me to her place. She needed some help with an assignment.’

  ‘Zarish, this shouldn’t happen again!’ Zia bellowed.

  ‘But Dad, I was just helping her out,’ she tried to explain.

  ‘I don’t want you to get into any kind of trouble.’ Zarish narrowed her brows. She did not know what he meant by this.

  ‘There is no trouble, Dad. What made you say that?’ she asked.

  ‘Just listen to what I am saying. Stop arguing.’ He seemed annoyed.

  ‘Dad, what’s wrong with you?’ She quickly sat beside him and held his hand. ‘Why are you saying this?’