Escaping Memories

by Amanda Siegrist

  Doni's fingers wavered, almost dropping the menu. "Is it bad if I like your brother?"

  "No. I like you, Doni, I do. I'm just curious how you feel. I know how Logan feels. It's super easy to read him. He never gets like this over a woman. We're friends. I'm being a nosy busybody. I can't help myself anymore." Kat shrugged as she gave her a silly smile.

  "Well...I sure hope I'm not married or with anyone...because I'll feel slightly bad for...hurting their feelings. I consider myself to be with Logan now. Does that answer your question?" Doni said, focusing her eyes on the menu and what food sounded good to her. As her eyes scanned the options, nothing jumped out at her. Although, her eyes were having difficulty adjusting as she waited for Kat's response.

  To her surprise, Kat started giggling. "Oh, geez, did you sleep with my brother already? Could he not keep his hands to himself?"

  Doni's eyes shot up, noting the twinkling laughter in Kat's eyes. And the kindness. She started giggling right with her. "No. I think it was the other way around. Do you hate me?"

  Kat grabbed her hand, squeezing in reassurance. "Hell, no. Welcome to the family, Doni."

  "Really?"

  Kat let go of her hand, waving it carelessly as she rested her elbows on the table. "Please, don't sound so surprised. You might not remember who you are, but you have a beautiful personality. That says enough. You make my brother happy. It's been a long time since I've truly seen him happy. And...you play cards with me. Nobody ever plays with me." Kat started to pout, then busted out laughing as Doni joined her.

  Doni laughed for a good minute before her face fell somber. "I honestly don't know what I would have done if Logan hadn't found me. If he hadn't walked into the cabin, being so nice and considerate. I think I'm coping better than I would have if someone else had found me. I don't even know how I am coping. That's the problem. I don't think I am. I'm hiding...my memories are hiding. What happened to me, Kat? I..." Doni's voice trailed off as she noticed several patrons a few tables down giving them frequent glances.

  She watched as an elderly woman constantly leaned towards her husband, her lips moving in a fast gesture. She couldn't see the man's face, but the frequent shaking of his head told her that his wife was saying things he thought were slightly ridiculous. The woman's hard stare never wavered from Doni, making it known she was whispering about her. She was the talk of the town. She knew this. But suddenly, it really bothered her. The woman's judgmental eyes made her feel weak, guilty even.

  Kat didn't need to turn around to know that people were staring. She snapped her fingers in front of Doni to distract her gaze. "Don't mind them. 'Member, they have nothing better to do."

  "Was I being loud? Did they hear what I said? What will that do to Logan? Oh, my! Why does he even put up with me?" Doni cried softly as she buried her face in her hands.

  A strong pair of arms wrapped around Doni, pulling her close. She stiffened briefly, then immediately relaxed. She would never, no matter how horrible her memories were, forget the touch of Logan. She pressed her head into his chest as he leaned in, whispering, "Honey, please don't say such things. I don't care what people say or think. I only care what you say or think. And I hate hearing you talk like that."

  Doni kept her face buried into his chest as he wrapped his arms tighter around her. He glanced over at Kat, who had turned her head to glare at the elderly woman. After pinning her with a nasty gaze, enough to make the woman blush with embarrassment and turn away, Kat looked back at Logan.

  "Next time, Kat, please let me know you're leaving the building. I can honestly say I had a small heart attack when I walked out by Charlotte and she said you two left without a word good-bye," Logan said softly.

  "You knew we were having lunch," Kat said with a shrug, hating that Doni still had her head jammed into his chest.

  "Yeah, I know. But..." Logan lifted a hand, almost running it down his face in agitation, but settled on running it down Doni's head in a soft caress. "This wondrous woman I'm currently holding means the world to me. She promised to tell me if things became too much, and it's looking right now like it's getting to be a little too much."

  Logan kissed the top of Doni's head, breathing in her sweet scent. "I'm just as scared as you, honey. Maybe not the same exact reasons as you, but scared nonetheless." He raised his eyes back to Kat. "Just tell me next time, Kat."

  "I'm sorry, Logan. It didn't really cross my mind. And if it makes you feel better, I dragged her out before she could even think of saying good-bye to you. It's my fault." Kat reached a hand across the table, touching Doni lightly on the back. "Are you okay, Doni? I didn't mean to make you upset. That wasn't my intention. I can be a little pushy sometimes. I shouldn't be. Damn, I'm sorry, Doni."

  Doni sniffed a few times, wiping her eyes before she lifted her head from his chest. She gave Logan a quick, reassuring glance before piercing her eyes at Kat. "It's okay, Kat. I'm just having a minor meltdown, I suppose. Maybe it's a lot to handle. I thought...I thought I could handle it. I can...can handle—"

  "I'm taking you home," Logan said, cutting off any further struggling words.

  He hated hearing her talk like that. She did it occasionally. More so when he first met her. But the last few days she had gotten much better at sounding confident. Sounding so strong and in control. He just knew today would be difficult. He never should have let her come into work like he did. It wouldn't have killed him to work from home. It would've created more chatter for the town to whisper about. But did it honestly matter?

  As he saw the same woman who had made Doni cry look back over at their table with a disapproving look on her face, he decided, no. It honestly didn't matter.

  "But, Logan, you have to work. I have to help Charlotte. I...I shouldn't let them get to me," Doni said.

  Her hands rested lightly on his chest. Instead of thinking about the woman who couldn't help but stare, she thought of Logan. The picture of serenity she felt last night, the caring nature he had bestowed upon her. She made tiny little circles on his chest as she remembered feeling his hard body with her hands, exploring the wonders that she knew she hadn't fully tapped into yet. So much yet to uncover. She wanted to start right away. She didn't get enough exploring last night. He had dominated the evening, the need to kiss away her pain, a tortured necessity that she imagined he wouldn't have allowed to be swayed from doing. She hadn't minded. Not in the least. Suddenly, she didn't mind going home either. As long as he planned to stay with her.

  "Charlotte will be fine on her own. You look tired. You should rest some. I won't have anyone upsetting you. You're looking upset right now."

  Doni heard the weariness in his voice. As much as she wanted to go home, she knew he had a job to do. "I...I told Mrs. Dunburry I would visit."

  Logan kissed her forehead, chuckling. "Honey, Mrs. Dunburry is the worst of them all. I know she didn't bother you that much this morning, but if you go there later, she'll eat you alive. I changed my mind. I'm not going to let that happen. I don't want you going to see her...not yet, anyway."

  "Well, won't she talk about how I said I would come and now I'm not?" Doni said hesitantly. She would hate if anything came back to make Logan look bad. Her image didn't matter. She was nothing anyway. But Logan was the sheriff. He had an image to uphold. And his image with her by his side looked like a mangled picture colored by a two-year-old.

  "I'll set her straight," Kat said, eyeing Callie, who started to make her way to the table with Kat giving a quick shake of her head to wait a moment. Callie nodded, slowing her steps, and turned around without hesitation.

  "I don't want—"

  "I can see the wheels turning in your mind. I don't care what people say about me. I already told you this. And neither does Kat. She has already set Mrs. Dunburry straight a few times, and one more time isn't going to kill her. I'm taking you home. We'll get lunch to go," Logan said, refusing to hear any more nonsense leave her mouth.

  "Well, drop me off. You need to go back to work," Doni s
aid, holding in a breath before releasing it slowly. She could do this. She could handle being alone. At least, she hoped so. She would never know if she didn't try.

  "Honey, that is never going to happen." Logan raised a finger, lightly brushing it across her lips before she could utter a protest. "I'm not leaving you alone. Remember the conversation we had in the truck? I can work from home just as easily from the office. If a crisis comes up where they need the sheriff in attendance, then I'll go. But I still won't leave you alone. Kat, Seth, or someone else will always be with you. Until I find the...the person who hurt you, you can't be alone. Okay?"

  "Okay, Logan," Doni said, nodding once. She hadn't realized her heart was racing like a jackhammer until he refused her offer of staying alone. She really didn't want to be alone. The thought terrified her. Would she always be like this? How long before he became annoyed and bothered by that fact?

  "Did you get a chance to look at the menu?" Logan asked as the temptation to squeeze her hard and soak all of her fear up engulfed him.

  "A little, but I don't know what I want yet. I'm not even sure what I'm hungry for," Doni said, turning a bit from his embrace and picked up the menu again.

  "Their club sandwiches are super delicious. And they put it on this focaccia bread, mmm, that just hits your taste buds with flavor. I know how much you liked those rolls the other night," Kat said, eyeing her brother with a worried expression.

  "That sounds fine. I did enjoy that," Doni replied, closing the menu.

  Kat slid out of the booth. "Great. I'll go order. What do you want, Logan? Anything?"

  "I'll take a club sandwich as well. They are pretty good. Thanks, Kat."

  Logan pulled Doni closer, kissing her neck briefly. "I hate seeing you upset."

  "I'm not upset."

  "You know what I mean. I worry about you."

  "Funny, I worry about you," Doni said with a crooked smile.

  "Why? I'm fine. You're the one hurt. I just hate...the thought..." Logan leaned closer to her ear. "I have this sudden need to kiss every bruise and lingering pain away again."

  She shivered in his arms as his tender words scorched her skin with anticipation. "Oh, Logan. I don't deserve you."

  "Wrong. It's me who doesn't deserve you." Logan lightly nibbled her ear before nonchalantly glancing over to the woman who couldn’t stop staring. Before he could stop himself, he winked at her, then pulled Doni closer. She huffed at his audacity and started murmuring to her husband again.

  "I don’t think she’s saying nice things. She’s been like that the entire time since I’ve sat down. It’s not making you look good. As the sheriff—"

  "Honey, stop," Logan said gently. He sighed, brushing a hand over his face. "We're already the talk of the town. That was definitely started this morning by Mrs. Dunburry. I can't help myself. I can't help when I want to give you a kiss or place a hand on your back. And I'm not going to stop myself when the urge comes. Not anymore. There's no point."

  He grabbed her hand, linking his fingers with hers. "Regardless of what that woman is thinking, you are good for me. Let her look. Let her whisper. Let them all gossip. Because the only thing that matters to me is what you think of me."

  Doni smiled, her words halted on the tip of her tongue when Kat slid back into the booth. "Callie said about five minutes, if that. I made it easy. I ordered a club sandwich, too," Kat said, swiping a hand across her face to remove a strand of hair that wavered into her eyes.

  "Sounds good," Logan replied, thanking Kat with his eyes for making the order a quick one.

  Within five minutes, he had their food in one hand and Doni's delicate hand in his other. He pulled her out of the diner, turning to Kat. "Are you coming over tonight?"

  "I can't tonight. I promised to help at the soup kitchen in Mulhene. And that cute guy who handles the ladle so deliciously is going to be there." Kat sighed wistfully, fanning a hand over her forehead as she pictured his face.

  Doni started giggling. Kat dropped her hand and gave her a mischievous smile. "He's so dreamy. I've volunteered at the soup kitchen for five years now, and sometimes, I think it's just because of him."

  Logan rolled his eyes. "Seriously, Kat."

  "Seriously."

  "What's the cute guy's name?" Doni asked, smiling at her. Logan noticed Doni's bright smile, then eyed Kat again as he realized his sister was putting on a show.

  "Oh…Johnny. Doesn't that just sound dreamy?" Kat closed her eyes, emphasizing the act of picturing him in her mind. She suddenly snapped her eyes open, pinning a sweet gaze at Doni. "I'll be over tomorrow night. Can't miss my volunteering tonight, though."

  "In the name of love, I don't want you to either. Have a wonderful time, Kat. Do you want to play some cards tomorrow?" Doni asked eagerly.

  "You're on. Try convincing lug nut there, to play with us," Kat said, gesturing her head at Logan as she started to turn towards the clinic. "Take it easy the rest of the day. You are still healing, Doni. Make Logan pamper you. You deserve it."

  Doni lamely waved good-bye, the brief spot of happiness dissipating as Kat continued on her way. Rest for the day, you're still healing swamped her mind as Logan tugged lightly on her hand to follow him to his vehicle. She was sick of resting. Her wounds, her aches, her pains, for the most part, were better. But the mere thought of venturing out into the big world, or in her case, in this small town, made her sick as well. She wasn't strong enough like she had hoped she would be. A few gossiping whispers, nasty glances her way, and she caved into a pathetic child.

  Yet, every time she felt worthless, felt a complete abandon of sorrow sweep through her, Logan swooped in with his sweet words and tender touches. She knew she could handle anything as long as Logan stood by to help her through it. That's what scared her the most. She relied way too much on him. What happens when he realized it? Where would she be then? She should stop it. Get it together. Remember who she was. Anything! But nothing would come.

  Did she want to remember so she finally had the answers to what happened to her? Or because she wouldn't need to rely on him?

  She squeezed his hand tighter just at that thought. She smiled at him when he lightly squeezed back and gave her a look that spoke volumes. A look that stripped her bare, making her wish they were already home. A look that she shouldn't treasure because it made her want to rely even more on him. The thought of losing this amazing man made her cringe with fear. Having no memories was a good thing. At least for the moment.

  Chapter 10

  Logan brushed another tense hand over his face as he slipped his phone back onto his belt. He instinctively grabbed the soothing hands that wrapped around his chest. He breathed a long, silent sigh before he leisurely turned around, pulling Doni close to him.

  "What's wrong? The first call had me slightly worried. This second one even more," she whispered into his chest.

  He kissed the top of her head before releasing another silent sigh. "I don't know what you heard, but Seth's coming over."

  "Why?" she asked, tentatively looking up. She didn't like the way he said it.

  "I have to leave."

  Her body started to shake as she quickly glanced around looking for the nearest window. Her eyes landed on the bay window in the living room. Sunlight streamed through, but the tiniest hint of darkness settled right after.

  Logan cupped her chin, gradually bringing her to meet his eyes. "Please, try not to worry. You'll be safe with Seth. I have to go, honey. I want to promise I'll be back before dark…but I can't."

  She buried her head into his chest. "Please don't, Logan."

  He squeezed her tighter as a rush of dread swept through him. "I have to. Oh, honey, if I could stay I would. I have to go. I…"

  He kissed the top of her head again as he tried to formulate the right words. "Just because I haven't gone out searching in the woods, doesn't mean my deputies stopped."

  Her head slowly lifted to meet his gaze. "What are you saying?"

  "Bolt's been out sea
rching every day…he found something. I have to go."

  "What did he find, Logan?"

  He kissed her lips, savoring the sweet taste. "I think he may have found where you were held. It's about two miles north of my cabin. Until I see it for myself, I'm not going to say anymore. I have to see it. Seth's coming over and I need to leave. I need you to know why I'm leaving. You'll be safe with Seth."

  The tremors leaving her body broke his heart. He couldn't stop them, or figure out how to quash them. Everything in his heart told him to stay, but his mind told him he had to go. He needed answers and to catch the bastard who laid a hurtful hand on her. He just needed a calming peace. He'd never get that with the unknown hanging over them. She was his. But she would never truly be his until the truth came out.

  "I can try calling Kat instead. If that will make—"

  "No. No, Logan. She was really looking forward to tonight," Doni said with short breaths.

  He didn't have the heart to speak the truth. Even before he could set her straight, she whispered, "Try really, really hard to get back before dark."

  Logan didn’t need to glance at the clock to know it was nearing dark already. Instead, he gave her a smile and a light kiss. "Can you do something for me?"

  She shrugged, not wanting to do anything but beg him to stay. The fear running through her veins threatened to paralyze her.

  "Seth still seems pretty down about breaking it off with Stacy. Can you help get his mind off it? I hate seeing my brother like that. You have this way with him. Even better than Kat and I."

  To his relief, a brief smile tinged her lips. "I can try."

  "Good." He kissed her again. Her soft lips sent desiring tingles that exploded throughout his body. He would never get tired of the way she made him feel. If he could sear it into his mind, wrap it up like a present waiting to be opened at every available opportunity, he would.

  Ten minutes later, Seth barreled through the front door. "I came as fast as I could."

  "Let me get Doni and tell her you're here." Logan's steps faltered as he started for the hallway. "She's having a rough time, Seth."