Strands of My Winding Cloth

by G Lawrence

  “That is why I have come to you!” Katherine clung to Bess’s hands, starting to weep. “I could not be without him, Bess! I could not! I love him! And he swore he had never loved another as he loved me. Ned would not be satisfied until I was his wife.”

  “When?” Bess asked. “When did this happen?”

  “Last December, whilst the Queen was on winter progress. It was Jane’s idea… She was the one who told me to pretend illness so I could be left behind. Jane brought the priest to us in London and arranged a room for us that afternoon… She was the witness.”

  Bess released Katherine. “Jane… Seymour?” she asked. “Jane… who is now dead?” She stared at Katherine, a horrible fear slinking in her gut. “Katherine… Tell me there were witnesses besides Jane.” Katherine merely stared back with tears dripping from her eyes onto her gown of blue silk. “Tell me that you know the priest’s name, and that he was one of the Queen’s proper clergy,” Bess demanded.

  “I think he may have been Catholic,” Katherine sobbed. “We never found out his name… But it matters not, does it? We were married, and that must be recognised!”

  Bess tried to collect her thoughts. “And what about Herbert?” she asked, searching Katherine’s eyes. “Why were you so bent on marrying him, if you were already wed to Hertford?” Bess’s eyes were drawn to the lump and she put her hand to her mouth. “Oh, Katherine… you were going to pass Hertford’s babe off as Herbert’s, weren’t you?”

  “I thought if we were married quickly enough then I could say the baby was born early.” Katherine wrung her hands.

  “You would have married bigamously and passed another man’s child off as your husband’s?” Bess shook her head in amazement. “By God’s holy cross, Katherine! Did you not think Herbert would be suspicious on your wedding night, when he lifted your nightgown to take your maidenhead, only to find a life already swelling there? And even if you had managed to trick him, it might do credit to your cleverness, but it adds nothing to your honour!”

  “I did not know what else to do!” Katherine wiped her eyes furiously. “Ned was sent to France. I found I was with child. I could not tell the Queen. I thought… If I could just secure another match, then I could…”

  “Lie, and make your unfortunate, bigamous husband a cuckold?” Bess’s tone was scathing. “Do you have no honour, Katherine? No shame? Herbert deserves better than to be played for a fool, or be made a sinner by your tricks!”

  “I am hardly the first woman to have done such a thing.” Katherine’s lips wobbled.

  “Just because others do something that does not make it right, Katherine.”

  “He discovered the rumours about my belly in any case,” Katherine said dejectedly. “And suspected the child was Ned’s. Now he has abandoned me, I am lost. What shall I do?”

  “You must tell the Queen,” Bess said shortly, her tone cold. “And fall on her mercy.”

  “Can you not tell the Queen for me?” Katherine pulled a handkerchief from her pocket and blew her nose noisily. Her normally pretty face was ugly with tears. “You are close to her, Bess. She loves you. She does not love me. Most of the time I think she hates me, yet I have never done a thing to deserve it!”

  Bess blinked. “You can be so bold as to say that, when you stand here, great with child, having told me you have secretly married Hertford?” Bess asked, her tone incredulous. “That you went behind the Queen’s back, that you betrayed her… You do know that if a royal ward marries without permission it can be considered treason, do you, Katherine? And you cannot be unaware that the Queen would see this rebellious act as a direct threat to her position… You say the Queen has never loved you, but perhaps you should look to your actions before judging hers! She elevated you to one of the best positions in her household, shows you obvious favour about court and you repay her thus? With treason, lies and betrayal! And not a word to say you regret your actions!” Bess stood back and glowered at Katherine. “I feel as though I do not know you anymore, Katherine.”

  Katherine stuck her chin in the air. “My sister was Queen of England, and my grandmother the Queen of France. My blood is royal! I have as much right to claim my own life, to make my own choices, as they did.”

  “Your grandmother was Queen of France for five minutes and your sister was executed as a usurper!” Bess retaliated. “Your father was a traitorous fool, and your mother married scandalously beneath her after his death. You and your sister were lucky that Queen Mary and then her sister took pity on you! They could have locked you up in the Tower with your sister, Jane, and left you there to rot!”

  Bess bit the inside of her cheek so hard she tasted blood. “One day, Katherine, you are going to have to realise that the world you were born into and the world you live in now are two different places. Your family were high born, higher than many, but they fell lower than most as well. Look around and you will see others who have families such as yours, with noble loved ones who fell from grace, and yet whose sons and daughters have been welcomed back by the Queen and given a chance to prove their loyalty. That was the chance she was offering you, you… simpleton!” Bess threw her hands up. “And you have taken that chance and done just about the worst thing possible with it! You have defied the Queen. You have taken a husband of royal blood. She could take your head for this, or that of your beloved Ned.”

  “I have done no wrong,” Katherine repeated, her lips quivering and her chin trembling. “Ned is my husband, in the eyes of God and according to the law of the land.”

  “Then go to the Queen and tell her that yourself, Katherine, since you are so bold and courageous, since you are so sure you are right.”

  Katherine faltered. “I… fear her temper.”

  “As well you should,” Bess replied in a grim voice. “But I am not about to go to the Queen with this and implicate myself along with you. Certainly not when you have the audacity to stand there and proclaim you have done nothing wrong! No…” Bess lifted her hands and walked backwards. “You have done much wrong here, Katherine. I will not be your champion, my lady… You must be your own knight. This mess is your doing, and so must the consequences be. I advise you to do something you have never done before; consider your actions and own up to them. Repent for your sins, not only against poor Herbert, but against the Queen as well. I wash my hands of you.”

  Katherine stood still as Bess walked to her chair, and then fled from the rooms in tears.

  The next day Katherine attended Mass with members of the Privy Council and the court. Afterwards, all were commenting not only on her swollen red eyes, but on her swollen belly as well. That evening, still unwilling to face her cousin alone, Katherine went to Robin Dudley and revealed her secrets to him. Although horrified to be involved in a matter which was going to anger the Queen, Dudley listened as a weeping Katherine spilled her secrets, and wondered if this news might help him… With the woman who most considered to be the rightful heir to the throne pregnant, in such a disastrous and ignoble fashion, the Queen would need another heir. Perhaps this might convince Elizabeth, finally, to marry him in order to get one.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Ipswich

  Summer 1561

  When Robin came to my quarters with a dour face, asked me to dismiss my ladies, and told me about Katherine, I felt I had stepped into another world. Although I had suspected that the girl was with child, I had hoped Katherine would not have been so foolish. But I had no idea that she would have flaunted my will so completely by marrying Hertford. For a moment, I just stared blankly at Robin, seeing his watchful eyes flicker over my face. I hoped he was about to tell me that he had made this up. But he did not.

  “She is married to Hertford?” I asked, although I hardly wanted it repeating. “And is carrying his child?” Robin coughed and nodded his head. “And the sole witness to this supposed marriage is Lady Jane Seymour, who is dead?”

  “Indeed, Majesty, although I did wonder…”

  “Wonder what?”


  Robin was nervous. He was trying to work out if he was about to incur the wrath he could see growing within me. “If Cecil had helped the pair, Majesty,” he continued, his eyes wary. “For he has often spoken in support of Katherine being your heir and…”

  Robin did not get to finish.

  “That girl is not my heir!” I shrieked. My wrath exploded. My pale cheeks ignited with fire. “And never will she be with a bastard in her belly!”

  “She claims that she is married, and the child is Hertford’s legitimate heir,” Robin said carefully, taking an involuntary step backwards.

  “She may claim all she wishes!” I snarled. “But claims from a liar mean nothing. How do I know she did not play the whore, and the babe sleeping under her treacherous heart is not a bastard?” Robin’s eyes could give no further answer and he spread his hands helplessly. “And what about Herbert?” I cried. “He must have discovered she was pregnant! That must be why he called off the engagement! Oh, suddenly all becomes clear!”

  I began to pace about the chamber, my anger consuming me. Katherine Grey married to Hertford! And pregnant! She had chosen a mate with royal blood, and the child she carried was a descendant not only of my own grandfather, but of Edward III too. If this was true… Why, I thought, she could have lain with anyone! And Hertford was not here to confirm nor deny her story! And what of the reading of the banns, and the priest who had joined them? Her one witness was dead, and the other was an unnamed priest who had vanished into thin air! A Catholic priest! She had defied my laws of religion as well. “I want Hertford recalled from France, this very day,” I spat. “If he corroborates Katherine’s story, they will both be condemned for treason. If he does not support her claim, I will have her under house arrest for the rest of her life for playing the whore about court! How dare she? How dare she?”

  I frowned at Robin. There was a look on his face as though he were wondering whether to say something or not. His wavering chipped at my shattered nerves. I had just thought this girl was no longer a threat to me, and now this! She had made herself a greater threat than ever, and I did not know if she was clever for doing so, or if she had wandered blithe and heedless into this situation. Either way, I was ready to take her head that day.

  “Go and get Cecil,” I said to Robin. I could not stand him hovering there like a hesitant mouse. Robin left. It was a wise move. Even my ladies tried to avoid me. Their heads down, their eyes on the floor, they carried out my commands swiftly and silently. By the time Cecil arrived I was almost ready to find an axe and go after Katherine myself.

  “You have heard?” I demanded as he entered. His face was troubled and chary. “Did you know anything about this, Cecil?”

  “Nothing, Majesty, although I along with others had, of course, noted her growing belly.” He ran a hand through his beard. “Perhaps it is a sign from God that the lady is not worthy of the place some thought she should hold.”

  “Such as you, Cecil. You thought she should be named my heir! Are you not going to admit that now?”

  Cecil was not fool enough to admit any such thing given my current mood. “Should we return the court to London, Majesty?”

  “Progress continues,” I insisted coldly. “I will not be altered in my purpose by the nefarious actions of this unruly girl. Lady St Loe and Katherine will be taken back to London under armed guard. Both will be taken to the Tower and questioned. Hertford will be called home from France, and when he arrives, he can join Katherine in the Tower!”

  “Majesty, she is with child…” Cecil objected.

  “She will enter good apartments, Cecil.” Speaking through gritted teeth, I was finding, was a challenging task. “I am not about to throw her in a dungeon, but neither am I going to leave a traitor loose and roaming my halls. See to it this is done, and if she cannot ride in her condition then send her in a litter. But it will be done, Cecil, and done today. For once that girl is going to learn there are consequences to her actions. And by the faith! Katherine Grey is going to face some consequences!”

  I glowered at Cecil. My voice became low and threatening. “My father had Lord Thomas Howard condemned as a traitor by Act of Attainder for becoming engaged to Margaret Douglas without permission. Howard died of ague, but my father could have taken his head, and hers.”

  “Majesty,” Cecil said weakly. “Consider that Katherine Grey is your cousin. Remember how your sister regretted executing Lady Jane Grey…”

  “I forget nothing, Cecil.” I marched to the window. I tried to control myself. “I will make no decision on this until Hertford returns.”

  There was a clause in the Act of Succession that might have allowed me to indeed condemn Hertford and Katherine as traitors. When my Lennox cousin, Margaret, had dared to attempt a love match with Lord Howard, my father had included a new stipulation into the Act; that if any man took it upon himself to offer marriage, sex, or did marry, a sister, niece, child, or aunt of the monarch without the monarch’s consent, then they could be judged and executed as a traitor, and the woman in question would incur the same punishment. Unfortunately, the Act did not stipulate cousins… but, I thought, laws can be amended…

  Cecil ordered Bess and a tearful Katherine to be taken by litter to the Tower and placed in the chambers reserved for noble prisoners. Hertford was commanded to return to England.

  Everyone but Kat ran from me, trying to escape my anger.

  *

  We lingered in Ipswich for a few days after Katherine and Bess were taken to the Tower. I hardly came from my rooms and when I did everyone scurried from my path like terrified bank voles seeing the approach of a battle-hardened tom cat. When I had a moment to think, I marvelled how like my father I had become. When he had been angry, thunder clouds and rain squalls had seemed to hover over his palaces. When he was merry, it was as though the first warmth of spring had sprung. I had inherited this talent, if that was what it was. Born from the darkness of my temper, a storm raged over the heads of my courtiers.

  Hot, heavy days turned fast to tempest and storm by night. Rain battered down on the fields and the forests and the skies turned black. Progress went on and we continued to travel from house to house. I tried to conceal my rage, but it was clear to all hosts we stayed with that their Queen was in a foul temper. I was not only angry, I was afraid. Whilst Katherine was in disgrace now, she had a babe in her belly who many would view as a likely heir to my throne. If she produced a boy, this would only be intensified. I knew people would overlook the stained character of the mother, if the child turned out to be a son. An English boy with Tudor blood… Such a child could be a focus for rebellion. There were many ambitious souls who might prefer an infant on the throne. If they could be a part of a regency council, or gain the title of Lord Protector, they could rule England through the child. There was no denying it; Katherine had put me in danger.

  As I stormed and sulked my way through progress, Mary Stewart arrived in Scotland. I found myself thinking about Mary often as we heard her ships had left France. I could see Mary becoming another standard behind which others of her faith might gather if they became disaffected. In my present mood, as I thought on all the dangers Katherine posed to me, I could not think well on Mary of Scots, either.

  All these cousins. My thoughts grumbled, growing paranoid and suspicious. All these cousins who men would seek to replace me with… They bring nothing but trouble.

  Mary’s ship took a surprisingly short space of time to travel from France to Leith; just five days. When her ship was sighted, those who were supposed to greet Mary were taken by surprise. They had not expected her for another week, so unsurprisingly there was no welcome party, and no crowds gathered to cheer her to the shore. They say Leith was swathed in thick mist that day, through which light rain fell. The skies were grey and low as she stepped from the boat. Mary stayed at a local house to wash and rest, no doubt wondering what kind of a country she had returned to.

  Her illegitimate brothers, Lord James, and Lord Robert, rushed
out to greet her and took their half-sister to Holyrood Palace. I imagine the palace must have been rather bleak and unwelcoming to a woman used to the spectacular grandeur of the French Court. The palace was undergoing work to make it ready for use, which had not been completed upon her arrival. The palace furniture was in storage, and the ships carrying her personal items had not yet arrived. Although it might have felt bleak, alien, in many ways, there were elements at Holyrood to comfort the Queen. The palace had been remodelled by Mary’s father, and based on the chateau of Chambord in the Loire Valley, so perhaps there was a ghost of comfort in her stark homecoming. By the evening, however, guns were firing to herald her welcome, and celebrations had begun. Perhaps, by then, Mary was not feeling as lost as she may have when first she stepped onto Scotland’s shores.