by Harley Wylde
I snorted. Maybe I should have turned in my man card and just kept riding. I sounded like a fucking sap, even in my own fucking head. Women were property in any club, and yet… were they really? Yeah, Venom acted like he owned Ridley’s ass, but everyone knew she’d been the one to claim him. And Torch would walk over broken glass before he’d ever hurt Isabella’s feelings. So maybe they were more than property, even if that’s what we called them. I didn’t understand how they could be so tenderhearted when it came to their women but obviously didn’t give a shit what mine wanted.
Fuck. I was still calling her mine. And it felt right, dammit.
Turning my bike around, I stared down the road ahead of me, wishing that I had the answers I needed. Regardless, I couldn’t leave Rin alone. With all the time that had passed since I’d hauled ass out of Church, they likely had told her what happened. The last thing I wanted was for her to think I was running from her. She was too damn sweet to chase anyone off. No, my brothers had pissed me off good and proper, but it was no excuse. I should have stayed, gone home to Rin, and at least told her I needed a little breathing room. Made sure she knew I wasn’t trying to escape being around her. Then I could have left.
I gunned the engine and sped back toward the compound. I didn’t know what the hell I’d find when I got there, but I hoped like fuck they’d left Rin alone. She didn’t need more shit piled at her feet. I didn’t expect the assholes I called brothers to really think that far ahead, though. Yeah, some of them had women, but they still fucked shit up with the fairer sex. Hell, it had taken Venom five fucking years to even propose to Ridley and they’d had two kids by then. He’d claimed her, inked her and made her his old lady, but everyone could have told him she wanted the ring to go with it. She’d have denied it if he’d asked, but even I had caught the wistful look on her face when she saw Isabella’s wedding band.
And Preacher? Shit, he’d claimed Kayla and they’d had two kids before he’d ever gotten around to proposing. She’d turned his ass down the first time, but we all knew it was because she worried he couldn’t handle the marriage thing a second time. Once he’d put a ring on her finger, he’d rushed her to the nearest courthouse, though. At least he’d figured shit out faster than Venom had.
And the fuckers thought they could tell me how to handle my woman?
The time going home dragged, but I finally pulled through the compound gates and went straight to my house. My ass was numb from riding four hours straight and I took a second to stretch out the kinks before going inside. And that’s when I knew something was really fucking wrong. It was quiet. Too damn quiet. I went room by room, but I’d known the second I cleared the front door. Rin was gone.
“Son of a bitch!” I yelled, then planted my fist through the sheetrock in the front entry.
I stomped back out to my bike, but I didn’t get far before Gears and Tank stopped me.
“Where the fuck is Rin?” I demanded.
“Gone,” Tank said.
My blood turned to ice. “What the hell do you mean she’s gone?”
I’d known it. The moment I’d stopped long enough to think for half a second, I’d known that leaving the way I had was the wrong thing to do. She’d probably blamed herself and had run off. If she got her hurt because of my stupidity… Who was protecting her?
“Torch loaded her and the clothes he’d given her into the truck and took off about two hours after you disappeared. We didn’t know if you were coming back or not.” Gears looked about two seconds from laying me out. “What the hell is wrong with you? You say you want her, but you don’t. Not really. And leaving her here like that?”
“She looked… Hell, I think she half expected you would abandon her at some point,” Tank said. “There was a moment of anguish in her eyes, then nothing but acceptance. Never seen anything so fucking sad in my life.”
“Where did he take her?” I asked.
Gears shrugged. “He didn’t say and we didn’t ask. Torch and Venom had a meeting. Venom’s in charge until the Pres returns. Torch came for her, loaded her up, and they were off. All I know is she’s supposed to be somewhere safe. Isn’t that what you wanted? Her to be safe? What do you care where that is? She’s not your old lady, right?”
I’d never wanted to beat the hell out of my brothers as badly as I did right then. I settled for going back into my house and slamming the door so hard the wood cracked. Wherever Rin was, I hoped like hell they were right and she was safe. I didn’t like the thought of her outside the compound. I’d fucked up. Again. I’d lost my sister before, and now if Rin died because fucking Joe Banner got his hands on her… No. That wouldn’t happen. When Torch came back, I’d just pry the information out of him and go get Rin back. She belonged here, where I could watch over her. Anyone who said otherwise would eat my damn fist, even if they were my Pres or VP.
There were some things you just didn’t fuck with. A man’s bike and his woman were at the top of that list. The club had just fucked up, and I wasn’t above letting them know it. Just because I didn’t want an old lady didn’t mean that I didn’t want Rin. I gave a shit what happened to her, whether they believed that or not. It hadn’t taken long for her to get under my skin, maybe only seconds. One look in her eyes and I’d been ready to take on the world if it meant she would feel safe.
Chapter Five
Rin
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” I asked Torch for what had to be the millionth time. “If Joe comes after me, then anyone who gets in the way could be hurt. Your club volunteered to take that on when you let me stay at the compound, but this…”
He looked around the room before focusing on me again. “Look, these are Ryker’s people. I trust them to keep you safe, and you’re way the fuck out of Alabama. I doubt your half-brother will come sniffing around here, but if he does manage to track you down, Spider and his crew won’t let a damn thing happen to you. You don’t have anything on you that could be traced, so I don’t foresee any trouble.”
I wrapped my arms around my waist and wished that Wraith was with me. I’d tried to put on a brave face, but I was honestly devastated that he’d run and didn’t want me. Torch had explained that Wraith had been given a choice to claim me as his old lady or let me go… and he’d run. Guess that was answer enough. I’d known I wasn’t the right woman for him, not even short-term, but I’d hoped like hell that I was wrong, that he’d prove me wrong. I should have known he’d be like every guy I’d ever met. Except for maybe Johnny, but he’d always had that hero complex.
I’d wondered if Torch had noticed that his missing Saint was here in Hades Abyss territory. I’d caught a glimpse of him briefly when we arrived, but then he’d vanished just as fast as he’d appeared. Either Ryker knew where Johnny was and he just wasn’t saying for whatever reason, or the club had kept it from him. Either way, I had a feeling that was going to be another shit storm when everyone found out. Not that it was any of my business.
“You’re safe, Rin,” Torch said, his voice dropping and sincerity ringing in his tone. “I’d leave my daughter and my pregnant wife here without a second’s hesitation.”
“Thank you for helping me,” I said. “I’m sorry if I caused trouble with your club.”
He shook his head. “Wraith is fucked up in the head right now. Sooner or later, he’ll realize what he’s missing and try to find you. I won’t give away your location until I know for sure that he wants you for the right reasons. He’s a good man, but he has a troubled past. If he shows up, you make him tell you everything. Don’t go running off with him until you know about his sister. Hear me?”
I nodded, but it made me extremely curious about Wraith’s sister. He’d never mentioned having one. We hadn’t been together but one night, but if Torch thought the woman was that important, I’d have thought Wraith might have mentioned her at some point. Especially since he’d asked me to stay with him for more than just a few days.
“This home belongs to Rocket. We thought you might be
more comfortable with someone closer to your age, but you can stay with any of them. No one here has an old lady, so you’re the only woman in the compound,” Torch said.
The thought of being alone with all those men made my heart pound a little harder, but I reminded myself that I would be safe here. They were good men, despite their rough exteriors.
I thought about the small Christmas tree I’d noticed in Rocket’s living room, and mentally compared it to the bigger one at Wraith’s. I could have spent the month with him, stayed for Christmas and made some good memories. Even if I knew it would never last between us, maybe I could have had a few moments to cherish in the years to come. I could easily picture us cuddling with only the blinking tree lights casting a glow in the room, maybe even have sex under the tree. I wouldn’t call it making love. No one would ever be that way with me, and I was fine with it. Mostly.
I’d given up that chance, though, when I’d agreed to leave with Torch. Maybe I should have fought to stay, forced Wraith to tell me how he felt. I just didn’t think I could have handled hearing I wasn’t enough, despite knowing it was true. So much for the holiday magic my mom had always talked about. She’d said that Christmas was a time for miracles and that anything was possible during the holiday season. I hated to disappoint her, but I’d been waiting on a miracle for a long time now.
Torch set a phone down on the dresser. “This is just one of those pay-as-you-go phones and it has a month of service on it. I programmed in my number, as well as Venom’s and Gears’. If you need someone, you call one of us and we’ll get here as quickly as we can. The GPS is turned off so no one can trace you when you make a call. Even if Banner got the number, he wouldn’t be able to find you.”
“Not Wraith’s number?” I asked.
“I thought you might be tempted to call him. Not sure that’s the best idea right now.”
“What if he worries about where I’ve gone? Like you said, he’s a good man. Even if he didn’t want me long-term, he might be concerned about Joe getting to me.”
Torch crossed his arms. “If Wraith is that damn worried, then I’ll deal with it. You focus on healing. I’ll have Dr. Myron forward your records to a doctor here, one the club uses. You need any medical care, don’t hesitate to see a doctor. Either my club or the Hades Abyss will cover the cost.”
“Thank you.”
“I’m going to get a few hours’ sleep, then head back. With Isabella being pregnant, I don’t like leaving her for too long. Morning sickness seems to be an all-day sickness for her.”
“Congratulations on the baby,” I said.
My stomach cramped as I thought about how sweet babies smelled, and how I’d never have one of my own. No one would ever want a family with me. Not if they knew my past, and I couldn’t very well lie to a man I wanted a future with.
“Rocket’s in the living room if you need anything. Take care of yourself, Rin.”
He walked out of the room and I sank onto the edge of the bed. New town, new club. New me? If I stayed in this area, maybe I could reinvent myself to some extent. I didn’t have any job skills and I’d never had to survive on my own for more than a day or two. I needed to learn, though. It wasn’t right for me to rely on other people to take care of me. At twenty-three, I was old enough to stand on my own two feet.
I got up and went to find Rocket. What I hadn’t expected was to find Johnny sitting on the couch with him, and holding a small baby who couldn’t have been more than a few weeks old. The way he cradled her, I could tell that she meant something to him. Did he have a daughter? No one had said anything about him having an old lady or steady girlfriend. Did they not know about the baby?
“Hi, Johnny,” I said as I came into the room.
He looked up at me and smiled faintly. “Hey, Rin. Been a while.”
“Girl?” I asked, noting the pink print on the yellow blanket.
He nodded. “My daughter, Delia.”
“I didn’t know you were with someone. No one said anything,” I said.
“They don’t know,” he said quietly, staring at his daughter. “I met Rhianon a while back, but she was just a kid. Last time I saw her, she was eighteen and we hooked up. Delia is the result. She was Rocket’s sister so I’m not sure how well that’s going to go over with the club. Ryker is technically Hades Abyss and the Pres’s son, so…”
“You haven’t told your club that you have a daughter?” I asked.
“He didn’t know,” Rocket said. “Rhianon didn’t want him to feel pinned down. She knew he was the type to take responsibility for them, and she didn’t want that. When she died, I knew I had to call Saint and tell him about Delia.”
“I’m sorry for your loss,” I said.
Rocket shrugged. “Drunk driver. It’s just one of those things.”
Despite the way he blew it off, I could see the pain in his eyes and knew he missed her. Giving Delia to Saint was probably really damn hard for him. The baby was a tie to his sister that it was likely difficult to part with, but he’d done what he thought was right for both baby and daddy.
“How old is she?” I asked.
“Six weeks,” Rocket said. “Rhianon died two weeks ago. Took me that long to get my head out of my ass and call Saint. He dropped everything and came running like I knew he would. Just didn’t expect him to leave the Reapers in the dark about where he was or what was going on.”
“I’ll tell them,” he said. “When I’m ready.”
“You should let them know you’re safe,” I said. “I think they’re worried about you.”
Saint nodded. It was hard to think of him that way, after knowing him as Johnny my entire life. I knew they valued the names they’d earned with the club, though, and I didn’t want to disrespect him. I’d slipped up and called him Johnny at first, but I’d try not to do it again. He hadn’t given me permission to call him by his given name, and from what I’d gathered, that was a big deal.
“Torch is still here,” I said. “If you introduced him to Delia and told him what you were dealing with, I bet he’d give you the time and space you need. He seems like a reasonable guy.”
“Yeah, the Pres is awesome,” Saint said. “I was just trying to wrap my head around the fact I have a kid, and that Rhianon is gone.”
“How are you getting her home?” Rocket asked. “You rode your bike here.”
“Looks like I’m buying an SUV and I’ll get a trailer to haul the bike back,” Saint said. “I’m going to need a lot of baby shit, aren’t I?”
“I have most of what you need. You can take all her stuff with you,” Rocket said. “I won’t be needing it. I even have some pictures of Rhianon you can take, so that Delia can see what her mom looked like when she grows up. There’s some jewelry…”
He trailed off and I could see he was fighting not to cry. It broke my heart that he’d lost his sister and was now giving up his niece. And poor Saint. He looked both completely in awe of his daughter, and terrified of her.
“I’ll give the two of you some time,” I said, edging toward the door.
“No. Stay,” Saint said. “Rocket told me a little of why you’re here, but I want to hear it from you.”
I nodded and eased down onto a nearby chair. I started from the beginning, what had happened after my dad died, and everything just spilled out of me up until the point where Torch had brought me to Hades Abyss. Saint’s jaw was tight and his lips had thinned. I could tell he was furious, but it wasn’t until he spoke that I realized he was mad at himself.
“I knew you’d lost your parents, and I just… it never occurred to me that you were in trouble. I never heard mention of your half-brother getting custody of you. I’m so damn sorry, Rin. I should have done something.”
“Saint, we weren’t exactly close, and no one knew. I was too ashamed to tell them. Besides, we were both kids. What could you have possibly done back then?” I asked.
“I was already Prospecting when I was seventeen. Torch found me living in an alley in
town. I’d walked out after my mom’s latest tried to beat the hell out of me. I never should have left Kayla there, but I’d thought she was safe enough. Then she told me about mom’s boyfriend sneaking into her room at night.” He shook his head. “It was too late to go back home by then. I took care of her the best I could, but I didn’t give a second thought to anyone who wasn’t my blood or a brother.”
“It’s not your fault,” I said. “No one at school knew. Or if they did, no one ever said anything to my face.”
“And Wraith said you were his, but he wouldn’t make you his old lady?” Saint asked. “That’s bullshit. Did he… Did he fuck you and then refuse to man up?”
My cheeks burned. “I started it. Don’t blame him. I don’t regret what happened between us, even if it didn’t end with rainbows and sunshine. Besides, it’s not like I haven’t slept with men before who didn’t want more than that from me.”
“No, Rin. You were victimized by men who paid your brother for the privilege of hurting you. It’s not the same thing at all,” Saint said.
“He said my past didn’t matter, but maybe it did,” I said softly. “Maybe he didn’t want a whore for an old lady. I can’t blame him for that.”
Rocket nudged Saint. “Maybe you should claim her. The two of you are the same age. She needs help, and you have a daughter who will need a mother.”
My eyes went wide and my jaw dropped. “Are you crazy?”
Rocket grinned. “Maybe. But just the thought of you and Saint together might make Wraith’s head explode. Might be the nudge he needs to get his shit straightened out and admit you were more than a fuck.”
“He said it meant something to him,” I said. “But then he said he doesn’t do forever. He wanted me to stay, just not as… not as an official someone in his life. I get it. I really do. I’m not the type of woman you keep forever.”
“If he wanted regular pussy without putting some ink on her, he could have just asked one of the sluts to move in,” Saint said. “Any of them would jump at the chance, just in hopes it would become permanent. No, it was wrong of him to ask that of you, especially with everything you’ve dealt with. I’m sorry, Rin, but Wraith is being an asshole.”
