by Harley Wylde
He knew the man better than I did, but I didn’t like thinking of Wraith like that. He’d been nice to me, had wanted to help me. He’d even defended me just seconds after us meeting. I was the one who fucked it all up by having sex with him. I’d just wanted to know what it would feel like to be with someone of my choosing, and I hadn’t been disappointed. He’d made me see stars, had given enough orgasms to last a lifetime. Well, maybe not a lifetime because already I wanted more of them, but our night together had been amazing.
Saint handed Delia over to Rocket. “Watch her while I go talk to Torch. I’d planned to leave in a day or two, but I want to stick around until Rin is settled.”
Rocket took the baby, who was dozing peacefully. “You have a room here for however long you want.”
“I’m… I’m not kicking you out of the guest room by being here, am I?” I asked Saint.
He smiled a little. “No, I’m staying in Rhianon’s room. She had Delia’s baby bed in there. I like being close to her so I can hear her if she wakes up.”
Saint stood and came to stand next to my chair. He didn’t say anything, but he squeezed my shoulder before walking out. I heard the front door open and shut, then I was left alone with Rocket and the baby. I didn’t know what to say to the man who was letting me stay in his home. He’d suffered a great loss and yet he was willing to help me. I hadn’t known men like him, or like the other bikers I’d met, existed. I’d known Saint was good, and that’s why I’d gone to him. I’d seen the ugly side of men for too long, but now I was getting to see that not all of them were bad. These tough men loved hard and deeply, whether it was their wife, their sister, or the tiniest baby I’d ever seen.
“You know, I was only partially kidding,” Rocket said. “If Wraith thinks you’re moving on to someone who’s willing to commit, it might make him pull his head out of his ass. He’ll either man up, or you’ll know for certain that he doesn’t really want you.”
“I appreciate the thought, but I don’t want to play games with him. He either wants me or he doesn’t, and I think he’s proven that he doesn’t. It’s fine.” I tried to smile a little. “I’m used to it.”
“Doesn’t make it right, doll, and you should never get used to men being assholes to you. Next time some guy pulls that shit, kick him in the nuts.”
I nearly choked on my laughter, then gave myself up to it. I laughed so hard I cried, until the tears weren’t from the laughter anymore. I sobbed until my body shook and I didn’t think I’d ever stop crying. Rocket set the baby into a playpen nearby and then came toward me. He knelt at my feet and took my hands in his.
“You cry as much as you want. Get all of it out, doll. You’ve been strong long enough. Now it’s time to let someone else carry the load, all right? You’re safe while you’re here, from your brother, from Wraith, and anyone else who wants to hurt you.”
“Th-thank you,” I said, starting to hiccup from the force of my breakdown. “I haven’t cried this hard in front of anyone since my mom died.”
“Then I’d say you’re overdue.”
Rocket pulled me into his arms and I sank to the floor, letting him hold me as I let out all the pain I’d been bottling up over the years. But what hurt the most was that Wraith had run when his club had tried to force his hand when it came to me. I’d felt like trash before that, but somehow his reaction had made me feel even worse. Even knowing I wasn’t worthy of him, some small part of me had hoped that I was wrong.
I was still crying when Saint returned. He halted inside the doorway.
“What the fuck? I’m gone twenty minutes and you make her cry?” he demanded.
“Not… not his fault,” I said, trying to wipe the tears from my eyes.
“How’d it go with Torch?” Rocket asked him.
“Fine. He seemed surprised as hell, but told me I could stay as long as I needed and my spot would be waiting when I got back. He’d already given me a small house when I patched in, but he’s going to have some work done it. Make it more appropriate for the home of a little girl.”
Rocket nodded and I eased back onto the chair. He stood, gave me a long look, probably making sure I wouldn’t fall apart again, then retook his seat.
“What if my half-brother shows up here?” I asked. “You have Delia to think about. I don’t want to bring that kind of trouble here.”
“But you were going to take it to the Reapers and all the kids there?” Rocket asked. “Try again. What’s really bothering you about being here?”
Saint tipped his head and stared. “She feels like a burden and unworthy of our help. Isn’t that it, Rin? Women like you don’t deserve good shit to happen. Is that what’s going through your head?”
“Maybe,” I said.
“Right. So, first order of business, you need to see a counselor,” Rocket said. “I’ve been seeing someone since my sister died. I can take you over there and introduce you. She’s a nice woman and not the least bit intimidating. I know it might sound stupid, but I think it’s helped me to have someone to talk to. She doesn’t tell me the right or wrong way to grieve, but she’s insightful and helps me figure shit out on my own.”
“I don’t want…”
Saint scowled at me. “Are you about to say you don’t want to be a burden? Because I might not ever hit a woman, I will damn sure spank you if you utter that bullshit in my presence.”
My eyes went wide and my jaw dropped a little. Well, that was definitely a side of him I hadn’t ever seen before.
“If you want to see the counselor, go see her, Rin,” Saint said. “I’ll take you or Rocket can. Whichever one of us makes you more comfortable.”
“I’ll think about it,” I agreed.
“Make yourself at home,” Rocket said. “You don’t need to ask permission to get anything from the kitchen, or use anything in the house. I want you to feel welcome here, Rin. If you want to add some personal touches to the spare room, you’re more than welcome to. It’s on the plain side and could probably use a woman’s touch anyway. My sister was never interested in decorating.”
“Um, the room is fine,” I said. Honestly, it was nicer than the one I’d had living with Joe.
“That sack Torch carried in the only things you own?” Rocket asked.
“Yeah. His wife gave me a few things. I haven’t even had a chance to really go through it. I just grabbed what was on top to wear on the way here.”
“We’re almost out of diapers and formula,” Saint said. “I’m going to the store. Why don’t you come with me? I’ve been using Rocket’s SUV, so you won’t have to ride on the back of my bike.”
“Shit. I won’t need the damn thing when you take Delia with you. Just go ahead and take it. It was more for Rhianon anyway,” Rocket said.
“I’ll buy it from you,” Saint said. “No arguments. You can use the money for whatever the fuck you want. It’s the least I can do after everything…”
Rocket nodded.
“You want me to go shopping with you?” I asked, my brown furrowed.
“You can get some stuff you might need. Toothbrush, hair shit, whatever girly stuff you need,” Saint said. “Women like to smell pretty, right?”
I felt the blood drain from my face and he was suddenly kneeling in front of me.
“Hey, what did I say?” he asked.
“Sorry, it’s just… Joe always made me shower with this special scent before I…” I swallowed hard.
“Buy whatever you want, Rin,” Saint said softly. “If you want to use plain soap or men’s bodywash, I don’t give a shit. You get something that’s yours, any scent or unscented thing you want, and don’t worry about the cost. All right?”
I nodded. “Thank you.”
“Kayla know you were at the compound?” he asked. “Does she know about what happened to you?”
“I don’t think so. They wouldn’t let me see her. I guess her husband didn’t trust me or something.”
Saint snorted. “Fucking Preacher. He screwed up b
ig time with Kayla, but ever since he got her back, he’s treated her like she’s made of glass. If she finds out he kept her from seeing you when you needed help, she’ll threaten to rip off his balls.”
I had a hard time picturing the sweet girl from high school doing any such thing, but everyone had probably changed since those days. Saint had definitely changed. He still had that hero complex, but he was rougher. Tougher too I was sure. And he definitely didn’t look like the boy I’d seen in the halls at school. I could see why Rhianon had lost her head around him, and likely her heart too. Someday, he’d make a very lucky woman a good husband. I hoped he found the perfect woman for both him and Delia.
I let him help me stand, and then I pulled my coat back on and followed him out to the SUV. If I was going to seriously think about starting my life over, I might as well get started now. The sooner I put the ugliness of my past behind me, the better. I just hoped it didn’t come back to bite me in the ass.
If only I’d known that it wasn’t my time with Joe that would come back to haunt me, but my one and only night with Wraith. Someone upstairs really didn’t like me.
Chapter Six
Wraith
Four fucking weeks. It had been one month of hell since Rin had left, and I still didn’t know where the fuck she was. And her shit stain of a half-brother was elusive as fuck. I’d tried to kill time, and keep my mind off Rin, by tracking Joe Banner. I’d done my damnedest to gather as much evidence as I could the old-fashioned way, hoping it would bolster whatever Wire had on the guy. We’d met with the FBI agents a few times now, and while they really wanted to talk to Rin, Torch still wasn’t letting anyone know where she was.
And Saint… Fucking hell. Torch comes back from wherever he took Rin and suddenly knows where our missing brother is? And doesn’t seem the least bit concerned that Saint wanted to stay gone for a while? It made my blood boil, knowing in my gut that Saint and Rin were together, probably holed up somewhere cozy while she hid from Joe Banner. Were they getting close? Did she let him touch her the way I had?
I’d already put too many holes in my fucking walls, but I wanted to punch something just thinking about Rin with another man. I normally wasn’t prone to random acts of violence, but knowing that I’d hurt Rin, that I was the reason she’d left made me feel out of control. I hated myself, and I wasn’t too fucking happy with my club either. If they’d stayed the fuck out of my relationship with her, then she’d be here now. Safe.
The damn Christmas tree in my living room mocked me with its cheerfulness, the lights twinkling like everything was all right. I fucking hated that tree right now, and everything it represented. Even though it was doubtful Rin was coming back, I’d bought a few gifts for her. Kayla had been sweet enough to help me wrap them, even if she had given me pathetic looks every few minutes. If she knew where Rin and her brother were hiding, she wasn’t giving the information up, and I wasn’t about to grill her about it. She had three kids running her ragged and didn’t need the added stress.
There was a hesitant knock on my door and I stormed into the front entry, jerking it open. I blinked a moment and then tried to not look quite so fierce. Tex and Kalani’s daughter, Janessa, stood on my front steps, shifting from foot to foot.
“What is it, Janessa?”
She’d been fourteen when Tex found her locked up in an asylum. Since then, she’d come a long way. If I remembered right, she was about to turn sixteen. The bubbly girl everyone was used to wasn’t on my porch, though. She worried at her lower lip, her hands clenching and unclenching in front of her.
“Can I come in?” she asked, glancing around like she was afraid to be caught here.
I stepped back and let her in, wondering if she was in some sort of trouble. She shivered and rubbed her arms, her nervousness not abating even though I’d shut the door. She’d come by before, asking if she could earn money washing my bike or helping around the house. Sweet kid.
“What’s going on, Janessa?”
“I overheard Mom and Dad talking,” she said. Her gaze locked on mine. “I know I’m young and everyone thinks I’m silly, but I know what it’s like to care about someone and not be able to have them. I’m too young right now, and I know that.”
I held up a hand, but she barreled ahead.
“If you want to know where Rin is, I can tell you,” she blurted.
My hand fell to my side. “What?”
She nodded. “I overheard them discussing Rin and Saint. I guess Ryker said something to Laken, and then she told Flicker. It spread from there. Torch took her up north. They’re both holed up with Hades Abyss. You know, Ryker’s club? They’ve been there this whole time.”
I sagged against the wall. Rin was with Hades Abyss? And what the fuck was Saint doing up there? I ran a hand through my hair and mentally checked off all the shit I was supposed to take care of this week, but none of it mattered a damn, not compared to seeing Rin again.
“Are you going after her?” Janessa asked.
“Depends. Who’s the guy you want but can’t have?” I asked, wondering if I needed to school some little punk on the proper way to treat girls.
Her cheeks flushed. “He’s part of Jackal’s club and too old for me. At least, right now he is, but I’ll be eighteen in two years. Daddy can’t keep me here after that.”
My eyebrows shot upward. “You’re after a Devil?”
“He was just a Prospect when I met him, but I overheard Scratch when he was here over Thanksgiving. He said they’d just patched in a Prospect and his name was now Irish. It’s Seamus, I know it is.”
I wasn’t getting anywhere near that. Tex would have his hands full soon, but I was staying the fuck out of it unless he asked for help. I wasn’t exactly one to say that there was too much of an age difference between her and the guy she was crushing on. I hoped it was a crush anyway. I’d hate for her to get her tender heart broken by a member from a club that we considered family.
“You have some more growing up to do,” I said. “But if he’s the right guy, the one you’re meant to be with, then he’ll be there when you’re ready. And if not, then maybe you’re meant for someone else.”
“Like you and Rin are meant to be together?” she asked, blinking wide, innocent eyes at me, but I wasn’t fooled. The little shit.
“What Rin and I are is no one’s concern but ours. And if the club had remembered that, then she’d be here right now.”
“If you want her home by Christmas, you might want to hurry. You only have a few days.”
“You’re right, kid. Head home. I need to pack a few things and head out. I’ll message Torch along the way and tell him I needed to clear my head. If I tell him where I’m going, he might alert Hades Abyss, and they could move Rin.”
“I won’t tell anyone. Swear,” Janessa said, pretending to lock her lips.
“Go on home before your mom and dad start looking for you.”
“Mom is busy with Noah and Clayton right now, and Dad disappeared the second Noah started throwing his blocks.”
I tried not to laugh, I really did. Janessa even snickered a little before heading out the door. It was kind of funny watching Tex with his kids. Sometimes he stared at his sons like they were aliens. He’d missed the first fourteen years of his daughter’s life, so fatherhood was still new to him. He wasn’t doing a bad job, just seemed a little lost sometimes. Good thing he had Kalani.
I crammed some shit into a duffle bag, but when I got to my front steps I stopped. Shit. I couldn’t go after Rin on my bike, not if I wanted to bring her home. It was too fucking cold to ride that much of a distance, especially since she wasn’t used to it. If I took one of the club trucks, Torch was going to ask more than a few questions, and might even figure out where I was going. I wanted to pull my damn hair out.
I was still staring at my bike when Ryker pulled up in his woman’s SUV.
“Get the fuck in,” he said, nearly growling.
I could feel the anger coming off him and wond
ered what the fuck I’d done to piss him off. I tossed my bag into the backseat and sat up front next to him.
“I know where Rin is,” Ryker said. “My fucking club kept that shit from me and I’m not happy. If you want her, I’m taking you to get her.”
“Thanks.”
He frowned and looked at the bag in the back. “You knew where she was, didn’t you? You were going after her?”
I nodded. “Someone told me today, but I can’t say who.”
“Good. Then I can pretend I’m going to check on my dad and you just asked for a ride,” Ryker said. “Then Torch can’t kick my ass.”
“You’re not scared of Torch. You’re worried your woman will decide to stay here with Flicker when the Pres kicks you out. Not like you don’t have somewhere to go. Hades Abyss would likely welcome you back with open arms. You’re still a member.”
He nodded. “True, but Laken likes being here. And the Reapers have a ton of kids, so it’s better for Gabriel. If I took Laken back to Hades Abyss, our kid wouldn’t have anyone to play with. Everyone there is still single.”
“Pretty sure you knocked up Laken without the benefit of marriage. You never know. Your brothers might have kids out there and not know it.”
He snorted. “Wouldn’t surprise me. Especially Fox or Shooter. Those two are complete hound dogs and screw anything with a pussy.”
I gave him a pointed look considering how he’d met Flicker’s sister and he just shrugged.
“I’m reformed,” he said. “And before Laken, I’d always wrapped my dick. Maybe subconsciously I’d known she was it for me.”
“Maybe.”
We rode in silence for a while, then stopped for gas along the way. We were probably a few hours from the Hades Abyss compound when Ryker started talking again.
“You going to claim Rin?”
“Don’t plan on it,” I said. “She’s better off without me.”
