Accidental Makeovers

by Carol Maloney Scott

  He grows silent and slowly moves to the couch.

  “Do you really want to be with this guy? Are you falling in love with him? Because if you are, I will get up and walk out that door, and leave you alone.”

  Max

  Her eyes are shiny. Bianca rarely cries.

  “Okay, I don’t wanna push you. But Birdie, I really love you. And not just because I want my old, cushy life back. I love you, even if we didn’t have our son and your assorted menagerie of creatures.”

  She smiles a little, leans forward, and before I have a chance to say another word, she’s kissing me. As my heart and other parts really get into it, I manage to check to see how much time is left in the episode of the dragon cartoon. Ten minutes.

  If I manage not to fuck up anything else in the next ten minutes, this night is going to end up much better than I had dared to hope.

  Bianca

  I hear movement in the hallway, and glance at my cell phone on the nightstand. It’s almost midnight. Is my mother getting home this late from happy hour?

  Max is snoring lightly beside me, and my stomach is in knots.

  What did I do? Well, I know what I did and it was pretty damn amazing, but what a mess.

  The ‘love’ declaration pushed me over the edge, but I couldn’t say it back. Kissing him seemed like the thing to do in order to make all the words stop, but then that turned into more.

  Which I knew it would.

  However, we did have to get Mick in bed, and I could have snapped out of it and put the brakes on, but I didn’t.

  I was about to tell him he should go, but then I watched him putting Mick to bed, and I saw how ecstatic he was to have his daddy home.

  And then Max got up and looked at me with those smoldering eyes. It’s such a cliché, but his eyes do smolder. Like his brother’s.

  I remembered all the past makeup sex we used to have, and I caved.

  Like, I literally turned into a cave woman, and let him carry me to bed.

  I felt guilty for a split second as Max rooted around in my dresser drawer for a condom.

  That gesture even warmed my heart—he would love to have another baby, but he wasn’t even trying to use this opportunity to manipulate me.

  But I did think about Eric. We’ve never had a conversation about exclusivity, and who knows what he’s doing in New York, but it was still crossing a line big time to sleep with Max.

  Eric is a good guy overall, and he’s got potential. But he never apologized for all the crap that went on over the weekend, and he criticized Jon and our friends, and he wouldn’t give Max any credit for dealing with the nightmare that ensued yesterday.

  And he YELLED at my son!

  But the biggest disappointment is that he never called to see how I was doing after the work fiasco this morning. Surely he heard that Raven was called to the salon, and Jennifer and Amy were both fired.

  I don’t even know if the shop is opening tomorrow. Raven said she was off to the bar. Knowing her, it may not even be a bar in this country.

  So, while Max was in my drawer looking for his ticket to pleasure, I made a deal with myself. If I looked at my cell phone and I had missed Eric’s call during the evening, I was going to tell Max I couldn’t do it. But if he hadn’t called…

  My discovery…or lack of one… pushed me into the situation I find myself in now.

  I can’t sleep, so I get up to find my mother.

  Max

  Shit, what’s that noise? I open my eyes and see that I’m in my old bedroom, and Bianca is curled up in a ball next to me. I silence my cell phone alarm and stretch.

  What a night. We didn’t talk much, but Bianca and I have always communicated much better through other methods. It’s only six in the morning, so I’m not gonna disturb her.

  That would really be pushing my luck.

  I sneak out of bed, ever so slowly, and pull on my pants. My shirt is somewhere around here.

  After I find all of my clothes and put myself together, I leave the bedroom, being careful not to wake the sleeping beauty.

  Downstairs I see Sharon is up and staring out the front window. “Sleep well, James Bond?”

  We share a smirk before she offers me a cup of coffee for the road.

  Bianca

  I didn’t mean to hurt him. I got caught up in the moment, and I genuinely thought we had a chance when I let him carry me upstairs.

  But then I heard Mom in the hallway, so I went to talk to her. She was supportive, but not pushing me one way or the other.

  We talked about her night and she did meet a nice guy. She said they ended up talking for hours, and left the bar for a late dinner at the diner.

  I told her I didn’t believe her, but I was teasing and she knew it. It’s weird sometimes having a mother who is almost like a big sister.

  I decided to try to sleep and deal with the Max/Eric issue in the morning. I knew Max had to leave early for work, so there wouldn’t be time for round two—of conversation or anything else.

  Just as I headed up the stairs to go back to bed, my phone started to vibrate. Mom had already headed off to her room, so I answered the call quietly.

  Eric and I ended up talking for almost an hour.

  I had gone back downstairs to find a private place, after I realized it wasn’t going to be a short ‘how was your day’ call.

  He apologized for everything, and not just in that way men sometimes say they’re sorry only to appease you.

  He listed genuine reasons, and detailed his shortcomings. He said all the right things, but so had Max.

  The difference is that Max is Max. Yes, he loves me and he wants me back. But we’ve done this dance so many times, and it always ends in disappointment. No one is perfect, but Max and I have a passionate discord that doesn’t work long term.

  And while Eric is out of his element, he’s figuring it out. He may fuck up, but he hasn’t retreated. And he’s a smart guy. I believe he can learn from his mistakes.

  And maybe we don’t have the same level of passion that Max and I have shared, but it’s still good. It’s a healthier good.

  He talked about going away for the weekend soon, so we could focus on each other.

  He also promised that once I move into my new house, he’ll start coming over and working on his relationship with Mick.

  I really have unfairly pushed my life on him, and I’ve barely tried to blend into his world. He didn’t say that, but I’m self-aware enough to figure it out. I realize now that we both need to bend a bit for each other.

  So because of all of this, when Max called me after work to see what I wanted to do for dinner, things got unpleasant fast.

  I didn’t tell Eric about what happened with Max. It was a momentary lapse of judgment, and it won’t happen again.

  Max

  “I’m sorry to bust in on you like this, but I can’t talk to anyone in our circle.”

  Amber blinks her pretty eyes and rubs my arm. She’s abandoned her latest knitting project to console me in my time of need.

  “It’s fine. I don’t mind. I’m sorry to hear that your plan was so close to working and it fell apart again. I hate to say this, but she doesn’t deserve you.”

  “I could say the same thing about your husband.”

  Amber just told me that she’s getting back together with her lying, cheating husband. I have enough of my own problems, but I did offer to beat the shit out of him if he hurts her again. I tend to think she’s doing this because he got a job and she can’t afford to live on her own, even with child support.

  She sighs and glances at Eden, who is playing on the other side of the room, pretending to feed her baby doll a bottle.

  “I know it looks that way, but let’s not talk about me. You tried your best to show her that you’re the better man for her, and she’s not getting it. You’re going on a trip this weekend with your band, right?”

  “Yeah. We’re leaving Friday afternoon. I got my cousins covering our jobs so Rob and I
can duck out early. Why does it matter? Bianca refused to go.”

  “This isn’t about Bianca. It’s about you. Go and live it up. What is it they say—sex, drugs and rock n’ roll?”

  I smile at her uncharacteristic reference, and she says, “Except don’t do the drugs part. The sex will be better that way.”

  Eric

  “Richmond is okay, but I love being back in New York.”

  I twirl the swizzle stick in my martini and stare at my drinking companion. I think she said her name is Brandy. Or maybe that’s what she’s drinking. When I’m in Richmond, I usually stick to wine, but the real city makes me feel like a cocktail. Or several.

  “I can’t imagine being stuck in such a small town. One time my company sent me to Jackson, Mississippi for six months.”

  She shudders and I instinctively reach to offer her my jacket, then I realize she’s not cold—just afraid of the south. I actually don’t really mind it. It’s a welcome break from the intensity of Manhattan, but it’s easier to agree with Sherry. I mean Brandy.

  She orders another drink while my mind wanders. I know it looks like I’m getting ready to cheat on Bianca, but nothing could be further from the truth. While Brandy is a pleasant and attractive diversion, she’s probably ten years older than me and I never did get into the cougar thing.

  Plus I think Bianca has forgiven me. Not that I did anything wrong.

  If only I could get her away from those people. The mother is nice enough, but the friends are a nightmare.

  I don’t know if she would move away from her mother and the baby’s father. Although that would be for the best. Mick seems like a bright little guy, wild and untamed, like his beautiful mother.

  “So how long are you in town, Eric?” She flashes a smile and licks her heavily glossed lips.

  Bianca would have a field day with Brandy’s makeup job. I have listened to long rants about age appropriate makeup, and apparently the black wings at the eyes are for teen and twenty-somethings.

  Or birds.

  “I’ll be here all week. Headed back home on Friday.”

  Home? Hmm…could I make a real home in Richmond?

  It’s preposterous that I would let those silly friends of Bianca’s stop me from getting what I want. I’ve tried not to be so controlling with her, although I bite my tongue every day when I see her doing things that are beneath her. I can fix this. When I get home I’m going to take charge of this relationship.

  I sit up straighter and haphazardly adjust my tie, only to find it’s sitting on the chair. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror behind the bar. Brandy is looking at me as though I’m a tasty snack, even though I think I look like a disheveled, drunken slob.

  No wonder she thinks she has a chance with me.

  I push the rest of my martini towards the bartender and signal for the check.

  Now Brandy is telling me about her boob job. Any minute she’s going to ask me if they look real.

  “I have an early meeting, Brandy.”

  “It’s Barbara.”

  Wow, I am preoccupied. I’ve been talking to this woman for about three hours.

  “Goodnight, Barbara.”

  I feel her eyes follow me to the elevators. That’s the beauty of getting drunk in a hotel bar—you only have to punch the right button to get to your bed.

  Fortunately, the elevator door closes before Bran…Barbara can join me.

  Oh, crap. The receipt with my room number is sitting on the bar.

  CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT

  Bianca

  “…and once you get more work like this in your portfolio, you’ll be able to network for a lot more side jobs.”

  Cin puts her laptop to the side as the waiter brings our lunch. She’s having a salad, but I’ve opted for a burger. I’ve been so hungry lately. Probably stress.

  I sent her the pictures from Zoe’s mermaid photo shoot, and as promised, we’re having lunch in conjunction with her sales call to All Tressed Up.

  “So now tell me more about what’s going on in that loony bin you’re working in. That place should be called All Fucked Up.”

  Unfortunately, I just took a drink of water, and I’m fighting off the laughing nose squirt.

  Neither of us can stop, and as I compose myself enough to tell her about the catfight, she is practically choking.

  The waiter runs over to refill her water, and she wipes her eyes with the cloth napkin. “Oh shit. I’m not wearing anything waterproof today.” There are black smudges all over the napkin, and she pulls out a compact to try to repair the damage.

  “It’s a disaster. Raven showed up when Gloria called her, after I had left for the day. She finally decided to swap stylists with another salon. Amy in exchange for Gretchen. I don’t know why she didn’t do that in the first place. Thank God we have multiple locations.”

  “Well, isn’t she still nursing her wounds over being married to the gay guy for five minutes?” Cin starts laughing again, and people are staring.

  I hope none of our customers are having lunch here. It’s bad enough the salon is now known as a ladies’ pro wrestling arena—we don’t need everyone to assume we’re all drunk, too.

  “Yeah, she’s had a tough time, but she doesn’t seem to have a problem getting over things. She’s only been back a week or so, and after this incident at the salon, she ran off to a bar.”

  “Well, we’d all do that.”

  “She went to an Irish pub. In Dublin.”

  Max

  “Have you seen this fucking bus?”

  Rob lets out a low whistle and Diamond hugs him…again. I think she is the most excited of all of us. I think that’s because she has secret groupie fantasies. Rob better keep an eye on her or he’ll find her behind the stage with one of the roadies.

  She’s the only non-band member on this trip. We were all told we could bring someone, but Claire stayed home with the kids, and Zoe and Axl are obviously each other’s dates.

  He’s doing pretty well replacing Jon, and fits in with the band. I don’t know about him with Zoe. I don’t see many sparks flying.

  Sparks. I really thought I had her back. All of her excuses were so lame. She didn’t say it, but I’m sure that asshole got to her and told her a bunch of sugar-coated shit.

  Well, I’m done with this crap. Amber is right. I need to let her go. The Buczkowski men have their pride.

  “Max, oh my God, I just realized—you’re truly single now. You’re the only one of us who’s free to enjoy the groupies. Woo, hoo! Do it for all of us!” Diamond dances to the music in her head on an imaginary stripper pole.

  Yep, Rob’s got one classy broad there.

  Brandon pops his head onto the bus and says, “Hey, guys. It’s time to meet our headliners. The tour manager set up some kind of pre-show party. I am so pumped!”

  Brandon leads our little entourage out of the fancy bus and off to meet the members of Vengeance, Apocalyptic Curse, and Poison Angel. This is actually happening.

  Bianca could be here with me, but she blew it.

  Bianca

  The rest of the day passes by rather uneventfully. Jennifer is back in her office, where she belongs.

  Raven also decided not to fire her, after she calmed down. It’s too bad Eric wasn’t here because Raven is a little hot-headed to deal with…never mind, he fired Amy because I said I didn’t like her.

  They’re both out of control.

  Gretchen is the perfect addition to our team. She’s quiet, pleasant and normal. I talked to her a little bit, and I learned that the other salons in our chain are far removed from the drama of the Washington Hill location.

  Apparently, Eric doesn’t visit those salons. I hate to blame all of the trouble on him, but he seems to be at the root of all of the jealousy and craziness here. Sleeping with subordinates isn’t a good idea. It causes…never mind.

  Mom has a date tonight, so I’m picking Mick up, which is as it should be. I have given Max so much flack for being irresponsibl
e, and I see that I rely way too much on Mom. I’m looking forward to more independence once I get into my own place.

  This weekend is all about me and my little guy. Eric is coming home tonight, but he insisted that I spend quality time with my son, and he has a lot of work to catch up on with his Richmond businesses.

  I can see he really understands my lifestyle now. He just needed a little time to adjust to dating a mother.

  With Max gone, I also have a break from that drama. Maybe I’ll hang out with Claire and the kids for a little while tonight. She didn’t go on the band trip, either.

  There was a time when I would have jumped at the chance, but those days are over. It’s time to grow up and move on.

  That’s Max’s dream, not mine.

  Max

  “That woman is so into you. She’s a little on the big side, but you can do big and sexy, right?”

  Diamond is scoping out the room, looking for possible hook-ups for me. The fact that one of the openers is an all-girl band improves the odds, but I’m really not feeling it.

  But Jasmine Nightshade is hot in a curvy, Amazonian way. She’s the lead singer, and she’s been brushing up against me and catching my eye.

  “She’s very attractive, Diamond. Now why don’t you go and watch Rob.”

  “I trust him. He’s not going to get anyone better than me.”

  She giggles and thrusts out her massive boobs. I still don’t know how that girl doesn’t fall forward. She must have tremendous balance. She could probably walk a tightrope with those things and remain upright.

  Now Jasmine is even bigger, but her body is proportional. She’s a young woman, but I’m still wondering if gravity is a problem there—if you know what I mean.

  I turn my attention back to Diamond, who is still checking out the women. At least that gives her less time to end up with one of the famous guys in the other bands. They’ve been watching her, but Rob is too busy getting wasted on the free booze.