Love Me

by Quinn Ward

  “It’s too late, James. You can’t honor your dad’s wishes posthumously as recompense. Now, you have to trust that Phillip knew what he was doing when he left half the inn to Dane. He’s the only hope you have for saving it.”

  I felt no joy watching James deflate as I railed on him. He jumped when the door opened behind him, nearly doubling over when he realized it was only the housekeeper coming in for her shift. I waved as she passed, shaking my head when she stopped to say something to James. This wasn’t a good time; I’d catch up with her shortly and come up with some sort of explanation.

  “You love my nephew, don’t you?” James asked once we were alone again. That was an understatement, but I wasn’t about to give James any information he could use to exploit Dane. Hell, the only reason I’d reached out to Dane in the first place was because James had hoped I would help him gather information he could use against Dane.

  “What I said has nothing to do with him,” I spat out. “Deep down, I think you know how special the inn is. That’s why you were willing to gamble to save it. I’m angry right now because this place feels like home to me too. That’s why I’ve stayed as long as I have even if the pay isn’t great.”

  “Once things are settled down, I was planning to give you a raise.”

  I snorted at his interruption. The man was one unpleasant visitor away from losing the inn and still he was wheeling and dealing, trying to save his ass.

  “Stop, James. That’s not what this is about. Like I was saying before you interrupted me, I’m not here because I don’t have options. Before Phillip died, I saw his vision and I wanted to be part of something magical. Year after year, the same families came back and they’d stay here because Phillip remembered them. He never forgot a name. What seemed cheesy when I was a kid started to have meaning as I got older. And now I love watching the families walk through the doors, seeing how much their kids have grown, hearing about their lives. That’s what makes the inn special and you’ve done your damnedest to ruin it. Not just for yourself. Not for Dane and his dad. Not for me. For everyone. You’ve put them in danger by borrowing money you didn’t have a solid plan to repay.”

  “You’re right. Nothing I can say will make it better. Whether or not you believe it, I’ve learned a valuable lesson, and this is the last time something like this happens.”

  Before I could lay into him yet again, little footsteps stomped down the stairs, the sound echoing through the lobby. I waved James toward the office and raced behind the desk.

  The first family of the morning was one of those I’d just been telling James about. Their oldest was only four, but the parents had been visiting every year since their honeymoon. Phillip had been overjoyed the year they’d walked in and Lucy looked ready to deliver any day. The following year, he’d insisted on throwing an early birthday party for Hunter, their little girl who was born just weeks after they left the beach. It was somber greeting them this year, knowing how excited Phillip had been when he received an email from Lucy, letting him know they’d need a crib in their room this year.

  These were the reasons I’d never forgive James for what he’d done, no matter the reasons.

  17

  Dane

  When I was a little boy, you taught me I could do anything I set my mind to. You led by example, making more of your life than anyone thought you could. I wish you were here to see that I’m still trying to follow in your footsteps. I hope you’d be proud of the man I’ve become. I wish you knew my family. Hell, I wish they knew you from more than the stories I’ve shared. -M

  Despite the fact I’d told Grady it was no problem for me to Uber home from the airport, my phone started pinging with messages the moment I turned it back on as we taxied to the gate. He was possibly the only man I knew more stubborn than me when he got a plan in his mind. In this case he was determined to pick me up and help pack my apartment. According to the messages, his car was already filled with empty boxes, packing tape, and padding for the breakables. I hoped he hadn’t bought all of that, because he undoubtedly went overboard. I didn’t own much, and a lot of that wouldn’t be making the trip south.

  Just getting to the gate. Be out as soon as possible, I texted as I waited for the passengers in front of me to wrestle their bags into the aisle.

  “Hey, man, you look good,” Grady welcomed me as I slid into the passenger seat a few minutes later.

  “It’s amazing what a bit of fresh air and no work can do for you,” I said, knowing damn well he wouldn’t leave the topic alone.

  “Not to mention having someone to share your bed with at night,” he teased. “At least now you can’t give me shit about Jen.”

  “Sure I can. But I won’t, because Jen could kick my ass.” I needed to make sure I stayed on her good side. I owed that woman a lifetime of fancy dinners and spa days for everything she’d done to help me pull together the money to pay off my uncle’s debts.

  “But you have to admit, it’s nice to know there’s someone waiting for you.”

  Nicely terrifying was more like it. Yes, I looked forward to seeing Brook at the end of every day, but the pressure to bail out the inn weighed on my shoulders like an anvil. If my plan didn’t work, there was nothing else keeping me in North Carolina and the job prospects weren’t great in the area where he lived. I could ask him to move north with me, but even here I would soon be jobless without a place to crash. Not ideal circumstances for a new relationship, even for those who hadn’t spent their adult lives running from commitment.

  I missed him. It hadn’t even been six hours since I kissed him on the forehead while he slept and snuck out of the room, and I already wished I was back there. Life was simpler when you didn’t have anything rooting you to anyone or anywhere.

  “Things still going well on that front?” Grady asked as he pulled onto the freeway.

  “Yep.” Given our history, it felt awkward talking to Grady about my relationship with Brook. Grady was the past, Brook was my present and, if I was lucky, my future.

  “Dude, you’re so gone for this guy.”

  I slugged his shoulder, calling him an asshole under my breath.

  “That’s a good thing, Dane. I know you said you were happy on your own, but that’s a shitty way to live. I’m glad you’re not running this time.”

  “I haven’t run in the past,” I argued. Ironically, right before Grady told me he was ending the benefits to our friendship, I’d been wishing he wasn’t such a commitment-phobe.

  “Because you never let anyone hang around long enough to even think about tying you down.”

  “Sure I have, but not very often. A little bit of light bondage can be a nice change of pace from time to time,” I taunted him, just because I knew it’d make him squirm. Grady might be living the all-American life with his wife, kid, dog, and the picket fence, but I knew there were times he missed his single life.

  “I don’t need to hear about what you’re getting up to in the bedroom,” he groaned.

  “Then quit prying into my relationship,” I shot back. Bad move, Montgomery. I realized my mistake as a shitty smirk broke out on my best friend’s face. “Fine. You win. Yes, it’s a relationship. Things are going well. Yes, I’m happy. No, I’m not planning to fuck things up this time. Does that about cover it?”

  “Yep.”

  The rest of the drive to my place, we talked about the nonprofit Grady had arranged to pick up most of my furniture. I’d load as much of the smaller stuff as possible into the back of my Tahoe, and the rest would sit in his garage until I figured out where I was going to settle down.

  With nothing better to do, I spent those quiet minutes on the drive really looking at the town I called home. What struck me was the lack of attachment to anything here. There were no memories in the buildings we passed, no familiar faces walking down the sidewalk. No one would miss me once I packed up and left.

  The life I’d carefully created for myself suddenly felt sad and lonely. I’d shut out as many people as poss
ible, hadn’t gotten attached to the community where I lived because then it couldn’t be ripped away from me. But now, I’d had a glimpse of what it felt like to have a purpose in life, to have a person to share it with, and I wanted to get back home as soon as possible. The inn might not have been my dream, but it was my reality, and the future would be amazing as long as James agreed to let me buy him out.

  I looked forward to the challenge of learning how to run the business side of the inn while encouraging Brook to handle the day-to-day operations. I wanted us to be partners in every sense of the word.

  “Hey, space cadet, we’re here.”

  I blinked a few times, realizing Grady was right. We were parked in front of my building. I couldn’t say I was home, because in my mind, home was officially wherever Brook was.

  “You wanna bust ass today to get everything packed up and leave the rest?”

  “I want to do whatever will get this done.” We hadn’t even gotten out of Grady’s car yet, and already I was exhausted. The entire flight, I’d alternated between making mental checklists of everything I needed to do before leaving New York and worrying about Brook and the inn. Speaking of…. “Let’s get inside. I want to give Brook a call and see how the morning’s going.”

  “Surprised it took you this long. I figured you’d already be texting back and forth with your lover boy,” Grady teased.

  I flipped him off rather than give him more ammunition to use against me. The truth was, the only thing keeping me from contacting him sooner was I’d peeked at the checkout log before I left this morning and knew he had more important things to do than soothe my frayed nerves.

  Grady and I loaded our arms with packing supplies and started the trek up two flights of stairs to my apartment. Funny how I climbed three sets every day at the inn, but the stairs here felt like they went on forever. I slumped against the wall while I dug out my keys, wishing there was a way to fast-forward to the end of this trip.

  “Have you talked to your dad at all?” Grady asked as he assembled boxes and stacked them against the living room wall.

  “Does it make me an asshole if I admit I haven’t talked to him since I left for North Carolina?”

  “No. You were doing what he wanted you to do, both by seeing what was going on down there and by living your life. Finally.”

  “But I’m all he has.” Hell, for all I knew, Dad was still in the dark about my grandfather trying to make amends for nearly three decades of shitty behavior. I’m not sure how I’d feel about that if I were in his shoes. What would it be like to know your father regretted decisions he’d made but there was no way to sit down and truly mend those fences? Because his father was dead. There’d be no time for goodbyes or I’m-sorrys. I didn’t want to be angry with a dead man, but I was. He should have talked to us instead of doing this.

  “Hey, you still in there?” Grady asked, knocking the back of my head.

  “Yeah, it’s just… the past few weeks have been a lot to take in, and I think it’s just now starting to hit me.”

  The life I had now was nothing like the one I’d left behind in all the best ways. Now I needed to focus so I could get back to the life I hadn’t realized I wanted.

  18

  Brook

  It’s too soon, but I hope you know I’m already planning forever with you. If the past few months have been this good, I can’t even imagine what a lifetime of loving you will feel like. I can’t wait for you to get home. -O

  Back at the apartment. Everything going okay there?

  I rolled my eyes when I read Dane’s message. It didn’t matter how many times I told him he didn’t need to worry, it seemed to be his nature. And I should be happy that he cared enough to check in with me.

  Yep. Things are good. I decided it’d be best if I didn’t mention that James was back. It was only a matter of time before the thug patrol started hanging out at the edge of the parking lot again. They hadn’t set foot inside the inn since Dane threatened one of them the day after my confrontation, but I wasn’t stupid enough to think they’d given up on pressuring anyone close to James for the money he owed.

  The lull between checkout and check-in time was miserable with Dane out of town. Normally I’d putter around the breakfast room and library while chatting with Dane about what we’d do that night. Today I rushed through the work and had nothing better to do than hold down the stool behind the front desk. I knew Dane had a lot to accomplish in the first two days he was home, but I was bored so I texted him.

  Packing going well?

  Yeah. Grady’s cracking the whip. The sooner we get done here, the sooner we can get back to his place.

  My chest burned at the reminder Grady was helping with the move. Logically I knew they were good friends, but the insecure part of my mind couldn’t forget they’d once been more. He’d been reluctant to tell me about their past at first, but when he saw how much it bothered me that he was sharing more about his plans with Grady than he had with me, he’d come clean. The whole while he’d reassured me that he wasn’t trying to keep me in the dark, but Grady’s wife was the person doing all the hard work.

  And why hadn’t he told me he was staying at Grady’s once they packed his place? Or had he and I hadn’t paid attention? Hell, there’d been so much going on in the past few days, I didn’t trust my memory at this point.

  My heart raced and a pit formed in my stomach when I noticed the black SUV pulled alongside the curb near the entrance to our parking lot. I shivered, the sense of being watched making the hairs on the back of my neck stand out. I’d been expecting their reappearance, but not quite so soon.

  “James, your friends are outside,” I called out to him. It was well past time for him to man up and own the mess he’d created.

  “Thanks.”

  I jumped at the proximity of his voice directly behind me. Now was not the time to let my guard down.

  “Why don’t you take a break while I handle this? Maybe you could go down to that mailbox you’re always talking to me about and see if there are any interesting notes. You don’t even need to punch out.”

  I pressed my lips into a fine line, trying to bite back a snarky response. In all the years I’d worked for the Montgomery family, James had perfected the art of mocking my obsession with the mailbox. The fact he now encouraged me to walk down there in the middle of my shift told me he was just as nervous as I was about the SUV.

  Despite knowing it’d be the smart thing to do, I didn’t want to leave James here alone. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  James clamped his hands on my shoulders and pushed me to the edge of the desk. “Please, do as I ask. I’m going to try holding them off, but I’m not sure I’ll be able to buy any more time.”

  Just a few more days. My heart ached for Dane, wishing we could fast-forward to his return because he’d assured me he had a solution for the problem. Unfortunately he’d also made me promise not to say a word to his uncle about his plans.

  “James—”

  “Brook, this isn’t your fight,” he insisted, his hands still on my shoulders.

  When I shook free from his grasp, I spun around, ready to lash out at him. He was damn right that this wasn’t my mess.

  Without me to hold him up, he nearly crumpled to the floor. “I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to earn my brother or nephew’s forgiveness for what I’ve done, but I’m certain it’ll never happen if you’re harmed because of my mistakes. I will do everything I can to save the inn… for them, not for myself. My father doesn’t deserve me tarnishing his legacy.”

  I hated that James managed to make me feel bad for him. Whatever happened, he’d brought it on himself, and yet the thickness of his words, as though he struggled to admit his mistake shut me up.

  I reached out to him, shaking him gently until he almost met my gaze. “They’ll forgive you. It’s going to take time, but once the dust settles, they’ll see that you did some really stupid things because you were thrown into a situation y
ou weren’t equipped to handle.”

  “I hope you’re right.” The bells tied to the lobby door jangled before either of us could say anything else. Beads of sweat dotted James’s forehead, and his body went stiff at the sight of the goon I’d kicked out of the lobby previously.

  “Please, Brook, go. Give me an hour and come back.”

  “Okay.” With our unwelcome visitor, it was easier for me to walk away. I’d already pissed the guy off once; no need to push my luck again.

  Trouble in paradise. I typed out a quick text to Dane before jogging down the steps that led toward the beach.

  The beach was packed with families and the summer sun beat down on my skin. This was my least favorite time of day to walk through the sand, but I needed the serenity offered by the mailbox. Eventually the crowd thinned to smaller groups with fewer children. I felt bad for the little ones who’d been dragged this far out by their parents; they were easy to spot because they were loud, whiny, and in one case, splayed out on the ground in a full-blown tantrum. Today, I felt their pain.

  As always I dug through the mailbox for the oldest notebook. Instead of sitting on the bench like I usually would, I sank into the powdery sand, sifting it through my fingers. I closed my eyes, allowing the sounds of the waves rolling onto the shore to soothe my frayed nerves. Birds screeched overhead, reminding me I was in my safe place. I cracked my eyes open when the peace was fractured by the melody of instrumental music playing.

  “Sorry, is this okay?” The newcomer to the mailbox reached for her phone.

  I placed my hand on her arm. While unexpected, the song wasn’t unpleasant. We all came out to the mailbox for our own reasons, and if she wanted to meditate I wasn’t about to stop her.