Lost Soul

by Cindy Pike

I’m pushed forward and fall to my hands and knees on the dirt floor, some of my hair escapes the pins and falls down. My dress gets dusty and it only helps to fuel my rage, this is an awesome damn dress and he’s going to ruin it! I need to focus on getting away safely though so I shake the thought from my head and focus on what’s really important. I spin to my ass and scoot away as I try to get a good look in the dim lighting. My feet catch on the train of my dress impeding my withdrawal.

  “You’ve been a very bad girl, Nora.” The man has on a mask so I can’t see his face, the fucking coward. I don’t respond, instead my training starts to override my fear, I look for a way out or something I can use against him. His voice sounds familiar but it’s just out of reach where I know it from.

  “Look at me when I’m fucking talking to you!” He bellows. I jump from his sudden rage and rivet my attention to him. “Did you like my flowers?” Flowers, what flo- they were for me? The flowers Silas and I thought were for him, were actually for me. Fuck, what else have I mistaken that was meant for me, that was for someone else? This guy is a sick fuck.

  “You’re hard to get alone. I’ve been watching, waiting for the right time. I knew it’d come. And look, here it is, finally.” He keeps talking while my mind is racing through all the events that have happened since I got attacked in the alleyway all those weeks ago.

  I interrupt him, “What else did you do?” My voice is urgent, hoping he isn’t the one that killed Bishop.

  “Everything I’ve done is for you, killing that damn dog that wouldn’t leave me alone so I could leave you my present. They fucked it up, so I left the flowers for you, to say sorry.” A film of red tinges everything in front of me. This piece of shit killed Bishop! I’m going to make him pay. He keeps rambling and I scan the area around me quickly while he’s distracted. He’s pacing back and forth, tapping his hand on the side of his head. “I tried to tell you I was sorry in person but, then I got cold feet seeing you up close for the first time in years. So, when you went back inside and then one of those fucking guys showed up, I missed my chance.” My face pales at the knowledge that, that time I thought it was Jaz texting me it was him. He could’ve done anything to me then. Taken me, hurt me, anything. My breathing comes faster the more I learn. I tune back into his ravings, “… Pictures of you. I just wanted your attention.” There’s a noise from outside the barn and the man stops pacing, looking at the entrance. “Can’t I just get you to myself for five fucking minutes?!” He rushes me and I flinch back at the speed. He either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care, grabbing my upper arms he tells me, “I’ll come back for you when I’ve got everything ready and then we can finally be together at last.” He lifts his mask so I can only see his mouth and he gives me a kiss on my hair. “I’m sorry.” Then he races out the other door, farthest from the house and people. Just as he disappears the door closest to the house opens and my five guys surge in.

  Silas and Flynn come to me as Heath and Kyle start to search the barn. Owen stands back and has his phone to his ear.

  “What happened, Doll?” Silas kneels next me with a hand behind me for support. Flynn takes my other hand in both of his, “Are you okay?”

  “I’m not hurt, just rattled nerves. He didn’t do anything but restrain me and push me down once we got in here.” I rush out, trying to answer both questions as quickly as possible. It seemed like I was alone with him forever, but it couldn’t have been more than five minutes.

  “Take a breath, then start from when you couldn’t see us anymore.” Owen takes over and all the guys attention is locked on me. I go over everything I can remember and as soon as I’m done Heath and Kyle head toward the back barn doors and out.

  “Okay the police are on their way. We’re going to make a report. Flynn, help me clear everyone out, Silas, can you help Nora into the house?” Owen makes plans, doling out jobs. Silas gathers me into his arms and lifts me up newlywed style and heads toward the house with Flynn going ahead to open the doors. Owen follows, closing the doors behind us.

  It doesn’t take as long as I expected to get everyone out and all the lights on. A new pair of detectives arrive just as the last guest’s car leaves down the long drive, passing the police car on its way toward the house. I give my statement to them and they say they’ll pass along any information. They get statements from all the guys and ask for a guest list so they can see if anyone saw anything that might be helpful.

  “I’ll get that for you and send it in an email.” Owen offers up.

  “Mind if we take a look out in the barn and beyond before we go?” One of the detectives asks Owen.

  “Not at all. Kyle, would you show him out back?” Owen responds and implores of Kyle. He gives a chin jerk and moves to go with the detectives. Then he goes into his room and comes back out with his laptop, starting on the guest list.

  “I’m going to start cleaning up.” Heath stands from his spot next to me and starts gathering trash. Flynn does the same, moving from his place at my feet. Silas stays put with me tucked under his arm. I don’t want to just sit here and do nothing but think about this. I move to stand, but Silas tightens his hold on my waist.

  “I need to be doing something other than just sitting, and thinking about all the what ifs.” Silas releases me immediately and grabs a trash bag. He holds it for me as we move around the room picking up trash as we go. Having sent off the list, Owen’s now in the kitchen putting all the food away. Not long after we’ve started, the inside of the house is clean and doesn’t even look like there were more than a hundred people here just an hour ago. Heath and Flynn move outside to help Kyle. I’ve caught several glimpses of him out there cleaning.

  “We should go out and help.” I say to the window watching them as they clean.

  “I think you’ve done enough to help, Doll. You should get some rest now.” Silas rumbles from next to me.

  “I agree, they can handle the outside, Nora.” Owen shares from his place in the kitchen.

  “I can’t sit still and do nothing; I need to be busy doing something.” I don’t want to close my eyes, I’m afraid that if I do, I’ll have nightmares again. “Does anyone else think that this is Jason? That man said he got close to for the first time in years. Did you ever find out if he got out of prison?” Silas and Owen share a look I don’t like. They’re hiding something from me.

  “Don’t do that, don’t keep me in the dark, thinking you’re protecting me!” My shout rings throughout the kitchen where we’ve migrated.

  “He was released, but he hasn’t left the state since. He checks in with his parole officer regularly and on time.” Owen tells me, my heart falls. It’s got be him, somehow, he’s either behind all this, or he’s finding a way of doing it himself.

  “If it’s not him, then he’s behind all this. Who else would be obsessed enough with me to do all this?” I give my thoughts a voice.

  “I agree.” Silas speaks out.

  “We can pass that along to the detectives.” The others come back in from the back yard, “For now you don’t go anywhere without one of us and one of the dogs with you. I want Kyle to teach you how to use a gun and be comfortable with one.” Owen gives the order and we all agree. Owen puts a few different food items from the party on the dining room table and we all eat in silence. After, I help Kyle clean up the mess as each of the other guys go off and change. My dress is filthy and ripped in a few places. It’s a shame, it really was a kick ass dress.

  Kyle catches me examining one of the tears, “We can have Fran repair it, Honey.” I shrug not wanting to talk about it as melancholy settles over me.

  “I’m going to change and get ready for bed.” I’m hit with a sudden tiredness that seeps deep into my bones. I just want this all over with. Not just for me, but for the guys too, I can see the strain on them when they think I’m not looking. I enter my room to find it packed with three of five half naked men in sleep wear, only Flynn is missing. Kyle comes around me and over to my bed. Each of the guys decided to sta
y here for the night, not wanting to be far from me, I guess. Owen gets up from his place on my queen bed and holds the bathroom door open for me.

  “Come on, I’ll help you out of that then we can all settle in for the night.” Owen waits for me to get fully into the bathroom then closes the door. Once it’s closed, he envelops me in his slightly shaking arms and hugs me for a few minutes. The door opposite mine opens and Flynn walks in on us. I look over my shoulder at him. His face goes from hard to soft when his eyes catch mine. He doesn’t say anything he just comes up to me and then I’m in between him and Owen, in one of the best hugs (only because it’s with two of them) of my life.

  “I think I’d like to take a quick shower too.” I can still feel that man’s hands on me and I just want to scrub the feeling away.

  “Take your time. We’ll be in your room when you’re done.” Owen responds. Flynn gives me a kiss on my forehead then turns to leave the bathroom without another word. As he leaves Owen turns the shower on, prepping it for me. Owen helps me out of the dress, he’s in doctor mode while he does. The entire time we’re silent and I love that he doesn’t have to fill the void with questions or chit chat. Taking my dress with him he exits the bathroom, closing the door with a soft click.

  I step into the shower and the warm spray and turn it up a notch so it’s just under scalding. My skin turns pink and I grab the loofa and bar of soap working up a good lather. I scrub my body until I’ve made sure I’ve washed the feeling of that man away then move on to my hair. Rinsing the shampoo out I reach for the conditioner and work in the ends of my hair. I leave it while I wash the makeup off my face with my in-shower exfoliating scrub then turn the water cold and rinse my face and hair. Turning off the water I open the shower door and reach for my towel, shivering from the sudden change from hot to cold. I briskly dry my body and then wrap my hair in a micro fiber towel Silas got me. Once my body is dry, I grab my face lotion and pump two pumps onto my fingertips, rubbing it on my face. Then I get my body lotion and slather it all over my legs, arms, and midsection. Someone must have brought in a pair of royal purple sleep shorts and a light lavender baggy tee while I was in the shower. Dressing quickly, I flick the light off then I move toward the door and carefully turn the knob, just in case one the guys fell asleep. I crack it open and peer through the slit I’ve made.

  “I hate to say it but we need someone to be on the outside of this and you’ve put yourself in the perfect position to be that guy.” I can’t tell who’s speaking as the voice is just louder than a whisper.

  “I don’t want her to think I’ve changed my mind about the proposed relationship.” Someone else whispers fiercely back.

  “Whoever is after her needs to think you’re not close to her. We can’t tell her; she’d never win an award for acting. Her face gives everything away. She can’t know, we’ll tell her after. She’s reasonable, I’m sure she’ll understand.” The first voice argues. I quickly close the door as quietly as I can. Shit, what are they planning? I don’t want them to keep things from me, but they’re right; I can’t act to save my life, probably literally in this case. I inhale a deep breath then let it out slowly. I don’t know if I can even do this with hearing what I just did now. Straightening from the door, I make sure to turn the handle making as much noise as I can with it.

  All the guys look over at me and I just stand there framed in the door way taking them all in. Owen and Kyle are on my bed, Owens got on a pair of sleep pants in an emerald green color, no shirt, he’s scrolling on his phone looking at something. Kyle has grey sweat pants on, also no shirt, his arms are behind his head, making his biceps bulge. Heath is by the door from my room to the hall on a cot inside a maroon sleeping bag. He’s got on a deep forest green t-shirt but I can’t see what he’s got on his lower half. Flynn’s got a sleeping bag on the floor at the foot of my bed in a hunter green color, accompanied with an orange pillow and all his tattoos are on glorious display. He has one ear bud in and the other is laying on his chest. His mismatched eyes take in my body and I can see his lids lower to half-mast with lust as a half grin slips across his face. Silas is the last one I notice, mostly because I almost trip over him as I enter my room. He’s stationed by the bathroom door in a black sleeping bag, no pillow for him. His black tank showcases his broad shoulders. The black sweats he’s got on are cut off at the knee giving me a mouthwatering view of his upper thigh muscles. I carefully pick my way through the maze of men and reach the side of my bed with Kyle on it.

  He grips my hips and helps me crawl over him, so I’m nestled in the middle of the bed. “Nora, we’ve got a plan. It’s one we can’t share all the details with you for it to work. Do you think you can trust us to be in the dark on it?” Kyle breaks the silence. Not what I was expecting to be said, I have to take a minute to gather my suddenly scattered thoughts, not if I trust them.

  I look each man in turn in the eye and then give the answer they’ve got to already know, “With my life and soul.” Kyle searches my face before settling in my bed.

  “Okay, Nor. It’s been a long day, come on get under the covers.” Kyle says as he lifts the middle part of my blanket up for me get in. Heath stands and moves to the light switch turning it off. We’re plunged into darkness and I tuck into Kyle’s side. I’m sleeping before I know it, listening to the sound of Kyle’s heartbeat.

  17 Old Beginnings

  The Ones That Didn’t Make It Back Home by Justin Moore

  The first Saturday after the Halloween party is when Heath set up the memorial for Bishop. It’s just after lunch and I’m putting the last of my jewelry on. The long silver pendulum hangs low between my breasts and I’ve got my hair free and straight. I’m in a pair of black wide leg slacks with white pinstripe on them. A tight black shirt is tucked into the waist. I have my black dress flats next to my bed and slip them on my feet before I go out to the living room where Flynn and Owen are dressed in similar fashion. My makeup is modest and just enough to enhance my features. The doorbell rings and I go to answer it. Cain moves there with me and Loki stays next to Owen while Asia doesn’t budge from Flynn’s side.

  I open the door and it’s Sara with her husband Levi and their baby girl Anne.

  “Hey Nora, thanks for inviting us.” I step back and let them enter before I see Jaz pull up the drive and park. I hold the door open while she carries in the things I asked for and then close it after she’s inside.

  “I got a ton of pictures, where do you want me to set up the projector?” Jaz asks and I take one of her big bags from her shoulder.

  “Out in the back paddock. I’ve already got the rest of the stuff out there.” I lead the way to the back door and out to the paddock behind the barn. The guys set up a large open tent there so that we won’t be in the hot sun while we say goodbye to Bishop. The others follow us out and we find Kyle, Silas, and Heath fixing the last of the chairs. Gretta is running around the tall grass and the other dogs go to join her. It’s a somber moment with us all dressed in our black clothes and morose thoughts.

  Jaz goes to the front of the chairs and faces us. She’s already got tears streaming down her face and she hasn’t even started yet.

  “We’re all here to celebrate the life of Bishop. He was more than just a dog. He was a friend, protector, family member, and hero. I’ve put together a slide of all the pictures I could find of him.” She goes back to where Flynn set up the projector and images of Bishop as a puppy are displayed on the side of the barn. There’s some of him playing with other dogs that I don’t recognize and some with Heath holding him on one arm, Bishop was so tiny. Jaz got at least a hundred photos of Bishop in all stages of his life. It’s beautiful to be able to see him and in a way get to know him through the pictures. The last picture is of Bishop and Heath with Heath knelt down and his arm slung around Bishop. They’re both looking at the camera and Bishop has a blue ribbon attached to his work gear. Heath’s got the biggest smile on his face; you can tell he’s proud of their accomplishment. The projector goes
out and we all just sit in silence for a while, remembering all that Bishop was.

  Owen clears his throat and stands to say, “Bishop wasn’t my dog but he was a part of my family here, rest in peace my gentle giant.” He sits back down and Flynn stands next.

  “Bishop always seemed to know when you just needed to just be, he was always there to just be with me when I was in need. Fly high in the sky, buddy.” His voice cracks at the end and he coughs a couple times to try and hide his emotions. I want to go to him but I won’t leave Heath’s side right now, feeling like he needs me more than the others. Everyone else takes a turn and then music comes on playing The Ones That Didn’t Make It Back Home by Justin Moore. Heath plants his face in my chest and I feel his broad shoulders shake with his tears.

  Jaz convinced the guys to let us do a girls’ night after at Owen and Flynn’s house while they and some of their guy friends all do a bond fire type thing in the back yard (because they still won’t let me be alone). Levi, Sara’s husband, Gemini, his brother Orin and their friend Jonas are going to outside, for the guy portion. Heather, Sara, Jaz and I are the only ones that are doing girl time. Levi left to take Anne over to Sara’s moms for the night, but plans to come right back. Jaz went back out to her car for some other stuff she brought and didn’t bring in yet.

  Owen and Flynn made a boat load of food of the cook out variety. Kyle and Heath are out back grilling up chicken, bratwurst, and hamburger patties. Silas is making sure the horses are good for the night. All five of the dogs are here since the guys have all been staying here since the Halloween party a couple days ago. I’ve got at least one of them in my bed every night, two, more often than not. They rotate between Owen’s, Flynn’s, my bed and the air mattress in the living room. Kyle seems to have pulled back so I suspect he’s one of the whispered voices I heard that night after the party. It sucks, but it doesn’t, because I’ve got a feeling, he’s only doing it to protect me at this point.