Changed by Time

by Zoe Matthews

  “I know you aren’t from around here,” Daniel said casually.

  She looked at him guiltily. It was really hard to pretend that she was from 1816.

  “How can you tell?”

  “All those questions about how I run my estate? If you were from around here, or even if you worked for someone else, you would have known the answers.”

  Barbara wondered exactly what she should tell him. She wondered if he no longer suspected she had amnesia.

  “Maybe the amnesia is why I didn’t know the answers to my questions about the estate,” she said, to test her theory.

  Daniel looked at her carefully, then grinned at her and played along.

  “It might be a good idea to try experiencing different things. Perhaps seeing the shed again, or riding a horse, for instance, might trigger a memory.” Daniel suggested his idea casually, but her heart fluttered with excitement.

  She would love to ride a horse; it had been so long since she had last been on one. She had learned as a girl. She had been on a horse only once after she left Texas. When Megan was nine years old, she’d gone through a horse phase. One summer, Barbara gave Megan the opportunity to take a few horseback riding lessons. Barbara loved horses dearly; she just hadn’t earned enough while she was raising Megan to ride them like she wanted to.

  “I think that is a good idea,” she said, shyly ducking her head. She wanted to shake herself for acting like a schoolgirl.

  Daniel smiled down at her, and she could practically feel the blush rising in her face. “Shall I go ask the stable hands to saddle a couple horses, then?”

  “Yes, please. That would be wonderful.”

  In no time, the horses were saddled, and they were ready to go. She was about to swing into the saddle as she normally would, then realized she had a long flowing gown on. How was she supposed to ride in this? Would Daniel expect her to change into different clothes? The saddle also looked different and she realized it was a side-saddle.

  “Don’t you remember how to get on?” Daniel asked from behind her while leading his horse by his reins.

  “I’m afraid not.” Having amnesia is awfully convenient for learning new things about this time, she thought to herself. Whether he believed her or not.

  “Let me help you.” He bent down and linked his fingers together, inviting her to step into the hold he had created.

  She did so hoping she was using the right foot. He helped her get settled on the horse in the side saddle position. She was grateful for his help, but wished she could ride the horse normally; she felt unstable in this position, like she was going to slide off any second.

  He slung himself onto his own horse gracefully and clicked his tongue to get the horse moving. Her horse naturally followed the other one, and Barbara was grateful she wouldn’t have to figure out how to lead the horse with both legs on one side of it.

  She did her best to encourage the horse to move up next to Daniel's so they could talk. She craved the closeness and wanted to get to know him better. She hoped he felt the same.

  He led them out through the fields of his estate. She wasn’t sure where his property ended, but she could tell it was at least a couple of miles long.

  They rode their horses next to each other as they chatted easily. She felt herself relaxing around him the longer they were on the trail. She forgot to be formal and proper. She stopped trying to keep her back perfectly straight. She felt herself smile naturally and realized for the first time how hard it had been to truly smile the past few years.

  “Would you like to take a break to sit under a tree for a moment? You look flushed,” Daniel said, inspecting her reddened face with concern.

  She blushed, knowing that she wasn’t flushed because she was too hot, but she kept that knowledge to herself. “Yes, some shade would be nice. Though it has been so nice to spend some time in the sun.” She sighed as she slid off her horse with Daniel’s help.

  Daniel was about to tie the reins to a nearby branch to keep the horses close, but he stopped at the sound of a horse trotting towards them.

  “Daniel, what on earth are you doing? You have a meeting in fifteen minutes with Mr. Taylor.” It was Edward with a deep scowl on his face, which only darkened when Barbara made eye contact with him.

  “Mr. Taylor is always at least an hour late; you know that,” Daniel retorted, but he looped the reins back around his horse's neck anyway. He turned to Barbara with regret on his face. “I suppose it would be a good idea to start heading back.”

  “That’s all right. I don’t want to keep you from your work.” She did her best to get back on the horse herself, feeling awkward as she tried several times to slide herself into the side-saddle position. She looked up, embarrassed, and was relieved to see Daniel waiting patiently, no judgment on his face. Edward, however, scoffed at her display, and turned his horse back to the house.

  Daniel swung onto his own horse, and Barbara’s horse followed his as they silently made their way back to the house. Barbara couldn’t figure out what she had done to make Edward hate her so much. She had hardly talked to him.

  She knew he didn’t think she was a high enough class to be staying in their house, and he was right. Even in her own time, she and Daniel would live in entirely different worlds.

  Even so, she couldn’t seem to understand why that would make Edward so hostile. She would understand if he was annoyed, but what made him so angry at her?

  She looked up from her musings to see that she was at the house already. Daniel and Edward easily dismounted, and she followed suit, managing to get off the horse with some grace.

  “You go inside and get yourself presentable. I will meet you in the office,” Edward directed, and Daniel nodded.

  Barbara couldn’t read what Daniel was feeling; he was too good at masking it, but she did sense that he wasn’t happy. And why was Edward ordering Daniel around?

  Daniel turned and walked with long strides towards the house, leaving her alone with Edward to return their horses to the stable. She wished she could follow him. She didn’t want to talk with Edward.

  “You will not spend any more time with Daniel, do you understand? An earl like him needs to find a respectable woman with class and worth. Not some beggar who can’t even remember her own past,” he practically sneered, making Barbara think he knew that she did not really have amnesia. “You will not get a penny from him. You might as well be on your way by tomorrow.”

  Edward sent her a look that would have normally sent her running. Instead, it just made her angry, and she narrowed her eyes.

  “I would think your older brother can make his own choices regarding his life and who he spends time with.” She squared her shoulders, and handed the horse over to a stable boy, thanking him kindly.

  She turned and walked away, not caring if she had just acted irresponsibly. She remembered all too well what it was like to be expected to make your decisions according to what would “look good” to those around you.

  She liked Daniel; he was so kind and happy. He actually made her laugh, which was difficult to do these days. He deserved to find happiness himself, although she knew it wasn’t going to be with her. Edward had nothing to worry about.

  Chapter 10

  Barbara walked into the house and realized she didn’t have anything to do. She didn’t want to go sit in her room alone again; she’d had enough of that yesterday.

  Instead, she walked slowly through the main hall. There were beautiful, large pictures of different landscapes and people lining the halls. She admired the talent behind all of the paintings and took her time inspecting the details of each one. She walked past the parlor and saw Laura inside. She looked up at the sound of Barbara’s footsteps and smiled.

  “There you are! I have hardly seen you at all since you got here. I hope you haven’t been hiding away from me,” Laura said with a smile, beckoning her inside the room.

  Barbara smiled back, relieved to have some company. “Of course not,” she said,
even though she knew Laura had only been joking. “I was lucky enough to get to ride one of your horses this morning.” She was about to mention that she’d been with Daniel but stopped herself. What if Laura wouldn’t welcome her interest in Daniel either? She sat down next to Laura, trying to mimic her posture.

  “Ah, that is always fun. Who took you out? It couldn’t have been Edward, so it must have been Daniel,” Laura said with a glint in her eye.

  Barbara dipped her head a little. “Yes, it was Daniel. He thought it might help me remember more about what happened.” She tried to sound convincing, but the words sounded dull even to her.

  “He is a good man; you can trust him,” Laura patted her arm; she must have taken Barbara’s awkward statement as hesitation to be around Daniel.

  Barbara nodded. “I can tell he is a good man.”

  “He doesn’t want to be an earl, you know,” Laura said conspiratorially.

  “Really?” Barbara answered, intrigued. He seemed so sure of himself. When he talked about the people who lived around them, she could tell he deeply cared about them. She couldn’t have guessed he didn’t want everything he had.

  “Yes. He was left this inheritance by our father, much to the dismay of Edward. This was always Edward’s dream,” she said as she gestured around the house. “Our father wrote his will well, so it is difficult to find a way to transfer this living and home to Edward. According to the wording in his will, the only way Edward could take over would be if Daniel died or abandoned the estate, and had no descendants.”

  Barbara was fascinated by this new information, but felt a little uncomfortable at getting it from Daniel’s sister. She felt it was probably something that they didn’t tell people outside of their own household. Even so, she couldn’t hold back her curiosity. “What would Daniel do instead?”

  “He has always wanted to travel the world. He is fascinated by different cultures and keeps detailed journals of everywhere he travels. He actually writes his experiences very well.”

  Barbara nodded, thinking about how this new information only attracted her to him more. She glanced over at Laura and noticed her face seemed drained of color again. “Are you feeling all right?” she asked hesitantly.

  Laura nodded, a tired look in her eyes. “I am afraid I have been feeling out of sorts lately. The doctors insist there is nothing wrong with me, but my goodness, I didn’t use to feel this poorly so often.”

  “What are all of the symptoms?” Barbara got more serious, falling into the familiar role of suggesting herbal remedies to her customers.

  “I get ill more frequently than most. A typical cough, sore throat, and headache. It seems every time I get sick, it gets worse. I just feel so weak.” Laura looked down, and Barbara could tell this wasn’t an easy thing for her to admit.

  “Maybe there is something causing this that could be easily fixed.” Her mind raced, trying to think of what could be causing these symptoms.

  “You sound just like Daniel. He wants to plan a trip to London to go see a more expensive doctor-- the ones down here are all fools, apparently.” She chuckled a little, but she seemed too tired to talk more.

  That caught Barbara off guard. “How long has all of this been happening?”

  “Oh, about two years now,” Laura said, straightening her back, even though she still looked tired. She waved her hand in the air, as if brushing the problem away. “Enough of this dull talk. There is a ball this Friday evening at a neighboring estate. Daniel and I were planning on attending. I will lend you a dress, and you can come with us.”

  Barbara’s eyes lit up at the thought of experiencing a ball in the 1800s, but she tried not to act too excited. The image of Edward’s face as he told her to stay away from Daniel lingered in her mind. “I’m not sure that is the best idea.”

  “Oh, of course it is. It would be great fun for all of us, and I bet it would make Daniel more excited to go.”

  “Did I hear my name?” Barbara jumped at the voice behind her. She turned to see Daniel standing in the doorway.

  “Daniel, thank goodness you are here. I think you should accompany Miss Conway to the ball Friday night,” Laura said triumphantly.

  Daniel raised his eyebrows at his sister’s suggestion and smiled brightly. “What a pleasant idea. Miss Conway, would you like to go with me?”

  Barbara couldn’t take away his lovely smile by denying him, so instead she nodded. “I would love to.”

  “Wonderful!” Then for the first time, she saw him look uncertain. He cleared his throat and seemed to be searching for the words he wanted. “I can trust you have an idea of attire for Miss Conway?” he asked Laura.

  “Absolutely, I believe I have just the dress. Will you send the seamstress up to my room? I will have her try it on, and we will have it altered to fit her perfectly.” Laura smiled as she stood, even though Barbara could tell she was unsteady on her feet.

  Barbara linked arms with her, hoping to show some friendship, and also wanting to help steady Laura.

  “If you would excuse us.” She smiled playfully at Daniel.

  He chuckled and let the two of them pass, watching them leave with a smile.

  Laura led Barbara up to her room and immediately pulled a dress out of a wardrobe. It was one of the most beautiful dresses Barbara had ever seen. It was an emerald green silk with a full skirt. Beautiful see through lace covered the entire dress. A wide white sash completed the dress which would be tied just under her bust.

  Barbara’s excitement grew as she tried the dress on. It was a little long, and just a tad tight around the shoulders. The seamstress said it shouldn’t take long to make it fit. Laura explained that they could arrange her hair into curls around her face and weave tiny baby’s breath flowers into her hair. Barbara loved the idea.

  Soon after the seamstress left, Laura started to look truly exhausted. Barbara insisted Laura go lie down, and she left her to rest.

  She went to her room, clutching her locket happily through her dress. The gown just happened to be the same design as the one in the painting in the locket. Her heart fluttered. She didn’t understand how it would work, but somehow, she just knew that Daniel would be a part of her future. She had to let destiny work and trust that it would all end well.

  ****

  Friday evening finally came, and Barbara was astonished as they pulled up to the home that was hosting the ball. It was actually bigger than Daniel’s. How did the people who lived in this time build such massive homes? She let Daniel take her hand to help her out of the carriage, but was so amazed at the beauty of the home, she could only mutter a meager “Thank you.”

  The entire outside of the home seemed to be made of marble. The stairs leading up to the door were wide, almost making her think of a few of the museums she had visited as a child with her parents. Beautiful statues were placed all around the home, some of the fancy people and a few of mystical animals.

  By this point, Daniel had taken Laura’s arm, and she followed after the two of them to enter the mansion-- it was too beautiful to even call a home.

  The hosts of the party were standing in a receiving line just inside the door, and Daniel introduced her to them. She had been watching to see how most people greeted the hosts, and she followed suit by dipping into a curtsy. The couple seemed pleasant enough, and soon they were walking farther into the home, where servers walked around with champagne, and music could be heard coming from the open doors of the ballroom.

  Daniel greeted and chatted with several people along the way to the ballroom, and Barbara tried to be attentive to his conversations but wasn’t able to concentrate due to her curiosity and awe at the wonderfully decorated home.

  Although she wasn’t very familiar with the Regency period, she did enjoy seeing all of the furniture, lamps, and vases in their original forms. It was all more amazing than she had ever imagined.

  Laura tugged at her arm. “Daniel, if you would excuse us, I would like to introduce Barbara to some acquaintances in
the other room. Mr. Baldwin,” she added, curtsying to the short, stout man Daniel was talking to, who seemed to be scowling at Barbara.

  She was glad Laura had found an excuse to leave the conversation. She had curtsied to Mr. Baldwin when they were introduced, following Laura’s example, but he hadn’t seemed fond of her from the beginning. She worried he found her rude by not contributing more to the conversation, but he made her very uncomfortable.

  Daniel sent them on their way with a smile before turning back to his discussion with Mr. Baldwin. Barbara kept her arm linked with Laura and couldn’t suppress a gasp as they stepped into the ballroom. She had never seen so many fabulous gowns in one room before.

  Laura led the way through the crowd with a confident, but gentle stride, and they were able to make their way to a group of girls who each greeted Laura with a kiss to the cheek.