Heartbreak Warfare (Let Me In Book 1)

by Jessica Marin

  “Please let go of me.” He releases me and backs away from me and grumbles, “sorry.”

  A part of me is relieved to hear his words, but the other part fuels my anger. I don’t want his pity as I think I have done a pretty damn good job raising Avery on my own. I did have some help from my parents, Layla and Robert, but in no way does that compare to Avery having a father. I have hated him for so long and now that the truth is known, I don’t know what to feel towards him. “When do you want to do the paternity test?” I quickly change the subject to get back on point.

  “It isn’t necessary. She looks just like me.”

  “Yeah…she does,” I say with a sigh.

  “I would like to come back tomorrow with my lawyer to discuss legalities. I need all of her vital information so that I can add her to my will and create some bank accounts for her. We also need to discuss my visitation rights when I permanently move to Chicago.” His tone of voice changes to one of all business.

  “Wait, you’re moving to Chicago?” I ask, dumbfounded. This was the last thing I was expecting to hear.

  “Of course I’m going to move to Chicago. We’re starting to shoot my new movie here in a couple of weeks, so I’ll be in a hotel at first, but then I’ll find a place to buy. This is where you live. I would never imagine uprooting her when I can be flexible. I would like for her to visit my family in England with me as well.”

  “She’s never been on a plane before. This is all going too fast…I…I can’t deal with this right now.” I take a step back and decide to sit behind my desk.

  “I want a relationship with my daughter, Jenna, and I will need your help with that,” his tone becoming more firm.

  “These things are going to take time, Cal. She doesn’t even know you exist!” My head starts to hurt even thinking about how to tell her. Hey Avery, you know that man you called a fucking asshole? That’s your daddy!

  He narrows his gaze at me. “What do you mean? You told her she doesn’t have a father?”

  “She knows she has a father, but I didn’t tell her who her father was. All she was told is that her daddy does not live with us and works all the time,” I say as I rub my temples.

  He ponders this for a minute. “Well, thanks for not telling her I was dead,” he says, begrudgingly.

  “There’s no reason to lie to her. I knew one day she would want to know about her real father.”

  “Does she currently have some sort of father figure?”

  “Just my dad and Robert. I am dating someone, but he isn’t present much in her life right now.”

  I think I see a small flicker of relief in his eyes, but I could be imagining it. “Ah yes, the hockey player?”

  I nod my head yes, wishing he didn’t know about him. I see Robert hovering in the kitchen, looking at me and I excuse myself from Cal.

  “What did my lawyer say?” I whisper as I meet him in the kitchen.

  “He said he can meet exactly at 9 a.m.”

  “Okay, let me see if that works for Cal.” I walk back into my office to find Cal texting on his phone. “My lawyer can meet tomorrow at 9 a.m. Is that too early for you and your lawyer?”

  “That should work,” he confirms and glances at his watch. “We need to get going. Oh and this time, I will need your phone number,” he says with a smirk. I frown at the idea, but know that I have no choice in the matter. We exchange numbers, and walk out of the office to join Avery and Rose in the living room.

  “Thank you for playing with me, Rose. I had so much fun!” She throws her little arms around Rose’s legs. Rose kneels down and hugs her tightly. My heart swells with pride at my daughter’s sweet gesture and I can’t help but feel somewhat relieved to see Cal’s mother so open with accepting her.

  “Thank you so much for letting me play with you, Avery.” With the help from Cal, she gets back onto her feet and gives me a hug. “Thank you!” she whispers in my ear. She pulls back and I nod in return to her.

  “Will it be okay if my mother spends time with Avery tomorrow while we have our meeting?” Rose gasps in delight at the suggestion, while Avery jumps up and down in excitement.

  “Avery is usually in school by then.” I look at Robert who nods his head, understanding that I was going to ask if he would stay with them if I kept her from school. “I can keep her home in the morning for you to spend time together.” A part of me is very hesitant to even do this considering I just met Rosalind Harrington, but I feel I would be viewed as the biggest bitch if I said no.

  “Thank you very much,” Cal says with a slight smile. Avery and I walk them to the door. “Until tomorrow,” he nods goodbye while Rose waves and they walk out.

  I breathe a sigh of relief as soon as I close the door behind them, suddenly feeling utterly exhausted.

  “God, that was intense,” Robert says as I head into my room to get dressed for the pool.

  “It sure was,” and I proceed to tell him everything later on that evening after Avery is asleep.

  26

  Cal and his mother arrive early the following morning, bringing us breakfast and presents for Avery. While they spend time playing with her, I finish getting ready, deciding to look professional in a white silk blouse, charcoal grey pencil skirt with a wide black belt and black heels. I pay careful attention to my hair and make-up with adding simple jewelry to finish my look. Satisfied, I take a couple of deep breaths to calm my nerves, grab my purse and head out into the living room.

  “Mommy, you look pretty!” Avery announces, and I blush, feeling the heat from Cal’s eyes as he checks me out.

  “Thank you, honey. Now Avery, I need you to make good decisions and listen to Robert and Rose while Mommy is gone, okay?”

  “Yes, Mommy, I will be so very good that you will want to buy me a present for my good behavior.”

  I smirk at my daughter’s smartness and bend down to give her a hug and a kiss. “Maybe I will. We’ll see.”

  “I rearranged your schedule today so you don’t have anything planned until 5 p.m.,” Robert says, as he hands me my sunglasses and hugs me goodbye.

  “What’s at 5 p.m.?” I rack my brain, trying to remember, as I would never plan an appointment that late normally since I usually have to get Avery from school before then.

  “Hair and make up for the Blackhawks’ charity gala.”

  “Oh! I forgot,” I say slowly, as I start to feel guilty with the knowledge that I haven’t even thought about Jax.

  “It’s okay, Jenna. I’ve got you covered. Go focus on your meeting.” I nod and put the subject of Jax in the ‘to worry about later’ compartment of my brain.

  “I have a car waiting for us if you’re ready to go?” Cal asks softly. We say our goodbyes and head to the elevator in silence. I step into the elevator and lean against the wall opposite him. I watch him push the lobby button, and can’t help but admire how good he looks in his three-piece suit. I shift uncomfortably in my heels, telling myself it is from them and not my reaction to how sexy he is.

  “Just to warn you, there are a lot of paparazzi downstairs. As soon as the elevator doors open, put your sunglasses on. Follow my lead to the car and do not say anything to them. Understand?”

  “Can’t wait!” I sarcastically reply as I put my sunglasses on. The doors open and I gasp in shock to see close to twenty camera lenses being pointed in our direction. I regain my composure and keep my face neutral as I follow Cal out. I hear our names being called even before we make it outside.

  “Jenna, over here!”

  “Jenna, where are you going?”

  “Cal, are you and Jenna together?”

  “Jenna, we need to see your beautiful smile!”

  “Cal, are you moving to Chicago?”

  The clicking of the cameras and asking of questions are constant, the reprieve coming once we are safely inside the car and drive away. I see Chase standing away from the rest of the paparazzi, looking at his screen to see what kind of shots he got. I turn around to look behind us and see
them jump into cars and taxis to follow.

  “Jenna,” Cal’s strong voice brings me to focus, “I need you to let the driver know the address of where we are going.”

  “Yes, sorry, that would really be helpful, wouldn’t it?” I nervously giggle and give the driver the address. I look out the window, only to find that the paparazzi have caught up.

  “How do you get used to this?” I can’t believe he deals with this every day. This is exactly what I don’t want for Avery and myself.

  “It will die down, Jenna. These paps do not like being outside in the cold weather.” I study him to see if he is joking or not, but his face betrays nothing.

  “Winter isn’t for another couple of months – they’ll stay here that whole time?” I ask incredulously. That’s much longer than I was hoping for.

  “Afraid so. Just always keep your head down, let them get their shot of you and don’t tell them anything.”

  We pull up in front of a building, and are immediately boxed in with paparazzi cars in front, to the side and in back of our car. They leave their cars running, get out and swarm like bees over to the side where Cal is opening the door. He smiles, and waves at them, and then extends his hand to help me out of the car. I grip his hand while getting out, fighting the urge to use my purse to shield my face. Cal places his hand on the small of my back and leads me inside the building where both of our lawyers are waiting to escort us upstairs to discuss Avery’s future.

  Sometime later I sit in my dining room, reminiscing about my meeting with the lawyers with Layla while Robert gives Avery a bath for me. I am all fancied up in a navy, long beaded lace cocktail dress with a V-neckline, and my hair pulled down into a low bun at the base of my neck. I am ready for my night with Jax, and am just waiting for his arrival. He confirmed via text that he will arrive at 7 pm and nothing else. It’s been a day full of all kinds of emotions, and having to deal with the drama of Jax and his feelings is the last thing I really want to do tonight.

  “So let me try to understand this, because Cal’s name is not on the birth certificate, he technically has no rights to Avery?” Layla asks while making us a drink in my kitchen.

  “Right, so we had to sign a voluntary declaration of paternity and then once that is processed, he has parental rights. I’ll have primary physical custody of Avery, but we’ll share joint legal custody in order for him to be involved in the decision making aspect.” I was hesitant at first to agree to joint legal custody. I have no idea if Cal and I have different beliefs on how she should be raised and giving him that kind of power scares me. He has so much catching up to do on learning about her, that I feel he might never truly know what is best for her. Especially since he still won’t be around much due to his job.

  “Is he going to pay you child support?”

  “I don’t want his money, and I put up a fight during negotiations that I didn’t want child support. I finally agreed to have him retroactively pay for these past four years. They want me to provide a list of what I think my expenses were, but I don’t know how I am going to accurately report that since I didn’t keep track. All I care about is that Avery is taken care of, and with the amount of zeros they were throwing around, she’ll be a very rich girl when she reaches twenty-five.” I shake my head at the thought of how much money she will inherit.

  “I love you, Jenna, but I think you’re being pretty stupid for not taking child support payments. What are his visitation rights?”

  I shrug at her, deciding it’s not worth discussing again my strong feelings of why I don’t want a dime from him. “Nothing is set in stone, but when he’s in town, he’ll get her every other weekend, on Christmas Day, every other New Year’s, and he’s requested all summers in England with him and his family.” I peek at her from over the rim of my glass as I take a sip of my drink. I’m still in denial that there’s a chance I won’t be seeing my daughter for most of the summers. The only time she’s away from me for long periods of time is when she spends weekends at my parents’ house and that’s usually once a month. Even then, I miss her as soon as I drive away. I can’t even imagine the hot mess I will be her first summer away from me.

  “ALL summers? No way! I need time with my tinker bell too!” Layla huffs, as she spends a lot of time with Avery during summer time. “How could you agree to that?”

  “I agreed to two out of the three months, and I can’t deny her seeing her father. I want her to have a relationship with him. Who knows if she’s going to be able to even handle it?”

  “Or maybe we plan a girl’s vacation every summer to England during the time she is there?” she says with an evil grin on her face.

  “Now that sounds like a brilliant idea!” We laugh and toast each other when Robert comes back in, smiling like the Cheshire cat.

  “I swear, the soap opera that is your life just keeps getting better and better.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Jax and Cal are on their way up - in the elevator together!” He claps his hands together in excitement. “I so wish I could be a fly on the wall in that elevator!”

  “How do you even know this?” I ask, looking around for my phone to see if I had a missed call from the doorman.

  “I have your phone, silly, and I answered the call to let them up. Let’s take a bet who will be the one looking all hot and brooding due to meeting the other man who has had sex with Jenna? Cal or Jax?” He looks between Layla and me with way too much enthusiasm for this subject.

  “I say Cal!” Layla answers.

  “I say Jax!” Robert responds back to her.

  “I say I’m not taking part in this stupid bet! I’m going to go put my jewelry on.” I head into my bedroom and shut the door, wanting a couple of minutes to myself before I have to put on a fake smile and pretend all is fine, when really it isn’t. Let’s get this over with! I take a shaky breath, square back my shoulders, and go back out to the living room.

  I step out just as Robert shuts the door behind Cal and his mother, who are standing in the hallway, watching Avery run into Jax’s open arms. He picks her up and holds her high. The look on Cal’s face is one of envy, and it makes me wonder when he’s going to want to start having alone time with her. He stares at them a little longer until Layla comes out of Avery’s bedroom.

  “It’s nice to see you again, Layla. May I introduce you to my mother?” Cal makes the introductions and tries to lean forward to give her a hug, but Layla stops him before he can do so.

  “Sorry, Cal, but I’ve hated your guts these past four years and really don’t know how I feel about seeing you. No offense, Mrs. Harrington.” she smiles at Rose, but removes the smile once looking back at Cal.

  “Seems to be the consensus in this place.” Cal smirks and looks behind her at me.

  “Well, can you blame us?”

  “No, I can’t. And even though I’m sure at the time you thought it was devastating, I’m forever grateful to you for telling whoever you told about Avery.” He goes in for the hug anyway, and all Layla can do is stand there, her arms held to her side, not knowing if she should hug him back or not.

  “Wow, Avery, look at your mommy. Isn’t she gorgeous?” Jax says, all eyes reverting to me now. I smile and focus all my attention onto Jax, who looks handsome in his black suit and tie. He carries Avery over to me where he hugs me with one arm and whispers, “I’ve missed you.” He then kisses me full on the lips, clearly trying to send a message.

  I pull away with a nervous giggle and look at Robert for help. “Has everyone been introduced?”

  “Yes, we rode the elevator up and Jax introduced himself to us then,” Cal responds, and then proceeds to purposely check me out in such a blatant way that I feel Jax grip me tighter by the time Cal’s eyes reach back up to mine.

  “Yes, but I wasn’t expecting to be introduced to Mr. Harrington tonight. Better now than never!” Jax laugh is so forced that I can barely contain from outwardly cringing.

  “That’s my fault for surprising yo
u with a visit. We’re leaving tonight, and I just wanted to say goodbye one more time to Avery,” Rose says, as she steps forward.

  “Leaving tonight?” I ask, eyeing Cal for an explanation, as he never mentioned anything today.

  “My mother needs to get back to London, and I have to be in Los Angeles this week for business. I will be back next Monday, and we can spend some time together then to discuss our future,” Cal says with a sly smile, his innuendos surely meant to only rile Jax up even more. I look away from him to see Robert’s shit-eating grin, clearly enjoying the pissing contest between the two men.

  “Will I ever get to see you again, Rose?” Avery asks with big, sad eyes.

  “I hope so, Avery. Maybe this summer?” I tense as Rose looks up at me, but I refuse to confirm since Avery still doesn’t know that Cal is her father and what going to London would actually mean.

  “Oh Mommy, can we?” She looks at me with so much excitement that I hate to tell her no.

  “We’ll see, Avery. Mommy has to go. Give me a hug and a kiss!” I hold her tight and get a nice, wet kiss planted on my mouth. Her lips start to quiver with the realization that I’m leaving. “Look at all these fun people who are here to play with you tonight,” she looks around the room and smiles. I put her down and continue to give hugs goodbye to Layla, Robert and even Rose.

  Cal is the last obstacle before reaching the door. I stop in front of him to say goodbye when he leans in and kisses me on the cheek. “You look beautiful,” he whispers, sending shivers down my spine. I take a step back and glare at him, which only makes him chuckle. “I’ll call you when I’m back.” He extends his hand out to Jax for a handshake, which Jax takes.

  “Good to meet you, Cal. I’ll see you when you get back!” Jax smiles as he reaches around me to open the door and gently pushes me out.

  We walk in silence down the hallway to the elevators, but once inside, Jax lets his charade of being lovey dovey go.

  “The man has balls to eye fuck you in front of me. ME! Your boyfriend! How do you expect me to put up with that shit without punching him, Jenna?” He angrily rakes a hand through his hair.