Thinking of Zoe

by Daria White

  He raised an eyebrow. “You did?”

  She nodded. “I don’t want to be angry anymore. You made your choice. I have to accept that.”

  Did she want closure? Why did most women always want closure? It was over between them. End of story.

  He only nodded.

  “Good luck, Alex. I hope you find whatever it is you’re looking for.” With that, Jacqueline walked away.

  Alex pushed away his plate, his stomach souring. He didn’t deceive any of the women he had dated. He always told the truth. Alex wasn’t looking for anything serious.

  Why did Jacqueline think she could change his mind? Sure, she was a wonderful woman, but that didn’t mean he wanted long term with her. Alex ran his hand down his cheek.

  “Can I get you anything else?”

  His eyes noticed the server at his table. Her eyes sparkled.

  Alex licked his lips. Did she gasp? “No, beautiful. Thank you.” He wouldn’t let his past with Jacqueline ruin his night.

  Chapter 3

  Zoe stared at the marquis listing the movies and show times. When Jackson called and asked her to hang out, she figured their mother called and told him to check up on her. Zoe didn’t mind hanging out with her older brother. Ever since Tony’s death, they were more intentional about spending time together.

  “Nothing too mushy, please,” Jackson said.

  She hugged his waist. “Aww, you don’t want to cry like you did last time.”

  He peeled her hands away. Zoe giggled.

  “I wasn’t crying. Allergies.”

  “Okay, I’ll buy it. For now.”

  He pointed to the marquis. “Pick something, please.”

  Zoe compromised with an action/adventure film, and Jackson paid the cashier behind the glassed-in box. Once inside, popcorn, butter, and salt greeted her nose. Shoes clacked against the tile floors as people walked.

  “Popcorn?” Jackson asked.

  “Sure,” she said. She squinted her eyes at him. “Who put you up to this? Mom?”

  Jackson swallowed. “She’s worried about you.”

  Zoe sighed. “Still? Jack, admit it, I’m doing fine on my own.”

  “Mom knows that. So does Dad.”

  “And you?”

  He looked at her, and his eyes softened. “They just want to be sure you don’t...”

  “Don’t what?” Zoe tapped her foot on the floor. “I get it. They’re waiting for me to mess up again.”

  Her brother shook his head. “I didn’t say that, Z.”

  She folded her arms over her chest. “You didn’t have to.”

  Once he bought their snacks, and the attendant checked their tickets, Zoe walked beside her brother. She paused.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked.

  “I’ll meet you there. I need to use the ladies’ room.”

  Jackson nodded, and Zoe escaped to the restroom. She placed both hands on the sink and stared into the mirror. She released a deep breath. When would her parents trust her again? Zoe didn’t need a reminder of her mistakes. They played in her mind every day.

  Giving herself something to do, she washed her hands. She stared as the soft soap lathered on her fingers and the water cleansed them clean. If only her mistakes were easier to clean up. Zoe rolled her shoulders back and dried her hands. She didn’t want to keep her brother waiting and cause him to worry too.

  Exiting the ladies’ room, she noticed a familiar face in the hallway. Alex? Jackson’s band mate? Great. He was probably with another woman. Zoe scanned the hallway. There was no way to avoid him seeing her.

  Then Alex pivoted with his cell in his hand. He raised his chin and locked eyes with her. He grinned. Why did it make Zoe feel like prey and he was ready to strike?

  He walked closer. No sense in running now. Zoe played with her long braid and draped it over her shoulder.

  “Well my night just got better,” Alex said.

  Zoe laughed. “In your dreams.”

  She moved past him, but he followed.

  “Don’t be like that, beautiful,” he said. He was a major flirt. His smile only grew wider, and he drew closer.

  “I appreciate the compliment, but my name’s Zoe,” she said.

  He stared as if taken aback, but then he nodded. “I stand corrected, Zoe.”

  “On a date?” Her curiosity got the better of her.

  “Just checking out a movie,” Alex said.

  “Does she know you’re just hanging out? Most women take dates seriously,” Zoe said.

  Alex shook his head. “Always expecting a marriage proposal.” Was that sarcasm in his voice?

  Zoe’s eyes narrowed at him. Her body temperature rose. “Not all of us. Mostly we want a commitment. We want to know that we matter.” Her forehead wrinkled. Why was she letting him get to her?

  He raised his hands in a surrendered gesture. “No need to get upset.”

  “I’m not upset. I’m just tired of it all.”

  He rubbed at his eyebrow. “I apologize then. Can we agree to disagree?” He extended his hand to her. “Can’t have my band mate’s sister upset with me?”

  Zoe took his hand and ignored the electrical jolt that shot up her arm. Did Alex graze her hand with his thumb? She released her grip. The man was impossible.

  “Forgive me, Zoe,” he said.

  “Nothing to forgive.” She adjusted her purse on her shoulder. “Enjoy your evening. I mean your date or... whatever you’re calling it.”

  Alex chuckled. Zoe went to find her brother, refusing to look back.

  ***

  Alex stared after Zoe as she disappeared down the hall. He wanted to know more about her. Did her lips part slightly when they shook hands? Even his own knees felt weak at the touch of her skin.

  Even when their conversation took a downward turn, his mouth flooded with moisture when her eyes narrowed at him. The hairs on the nape of his neck rose as her apparent annoyance showed. Zoe. She’d corrected him and said to use her name. Why did Alex find that irresistible?

  Alex shook his head. He’d met beautiful women before. He even managed a date with the cashier from the amusement park. Should he have told Zoe he came to the movies alone? Aside from music, movies were his outlet. Another way to unwind.

  When his phone buzzed, he saw a name that only made him pull at his collar. Perhaps he needed to cut Tabitha off. He wanted nothing long term.

  6:45 P.M... Tabitha: Hope you’re okay

  6:48 P.M... Alex: Thanks. I hope you find what you’re looking for

  She called, and he sighed. Time to rip the band aid off.

  “What?” Tabitha asked.

  “I’m only being honest,” he said.

  “So... that’s it.”

  “I made no promises.” He rubbed the back of his neck. This was his least favorite part. He wasn’t a bad guy—that’s what he told himself. At least he didn’t string women along for years. His max time with one was three months. Perhaps he needed to cut the time in half even more so.

  “What about—”

  Alex rubbed at his eyes. She needed his softer side. “Tabitha, I’m not the commitment type, Babe. You need a man who will give you everything that you need. I’m not the one. I want you to find what you need.”

  She sighed. Was that a whimper? “I get it. I’m not enough for you. Have a nice life, Alex.” She hung up.

  Alex returned his phone to his pocket. He hadn’t always been this way. He never intended to be a heart breaker, but who could blame him? The first time he fell in love, it left his heart crushed. He vowed he’d never allow a woman to have that much power over him. So he clung to his mantra, “get to them before they get to you.”

  He’d met a few amazing women over the years, but he wouldn’t let himself get caught. Never again. Love only disappointed or it drained the life out of you. Hadn’t he seen enough with his father?

  Alex checked his watch. He probably needed to stop by the house before heading home. His father was a prime example, never f
orgetting the tears that stained his face as a boy, finding his father on the floor. He had thrown a glass at the wall, making ten-year-old Alex shiver as the shards scattered over their linoleum floor.

  His father had motioned for him to come closer. Alex didn’t hesitate. His father needed him since they were all each other had.

  “What did I do wrong?” Alex had said.

  His father held him tight. “It’s not your fault. I loved her too much, I guess.”

  Alex only held his father tighter. Is that what love did to people? If so, he didn’t want any part of it.

  Releasing a deep breath, Alex exited the theater. He had enough memories for the day. There’d been times he wondered if his way of life fulfilled him, but there was no point in changing. He’d only lose.

  Chapter 4

  Alex listened to the wind chimes, spotting his father on his patio deck. The grill remained in the corner, though it had had little use lately. His dad faced his own backyard. An empty glass sat on the wooden table next to him. Alex breathed easier since it was a coffee cup instead of a bottle. His father promised and kept his word.

  “Hey Dad,” he said.

  His father motioned for him to come closer. Alex did and pulled a chair next to him. Lee Miller turned to face his son, his forehead wrinkling.

  “I thought you had a show tonight,” he said.

  “That’s next weekend.”

  His dad nodded. “I’m proud of you. Don’t quit.”

  Alex’s chest swelled. “Thanks, Dad.”

  “You didn’t have to come over. I’m fine.”

  Alex nodded. “I know what today is though, Dad. I only wanted to check.”

  “I’m doing better.” He focused his eyes on his son. “I promised you. I don’t break my promises to you.”

  Alex released a cleansing breath. “I know. You’re a man of your word.”

  He pointed at him. “I taught you to be the same.”

  Alex winced inwardly. He didn’t share with his father about his “relationships.” His father wouldn’t approve of his three-month rule, but it worked for Alex. At least it used to. If he wasn’t careful, he would lose track. He dismissed the thought.

  “You okay?” His father raised an eyebrow.

  “Yeah, I’m good.” He laced his fingers together. “I wanted to tell you that they have extended our tour.”

  “That’s good.”

  “I’ll call.”

  “You always do, so don’t worry,” his father said.

  Alex couldn’t help but worry. He’d come home too many nights in high school finding his father passed out on the couch drunk. Being in love with his mother had left him broken. Alex didn’t mind being like his father, but not when it came to love. He stayed clear. Love wouldn’t trap him—not again.

  When the doorbell rang, both men turned their heads. Alex squinted his eyes.

  “Who’s that?”

  His father cleared his throat and stood from his chair. The man even straightened his collar.

  “Should I worry now?” Alex patted his father’s back.

  His father narrowed his eyes at him but only chuckled. “It’s nothing.”

  “Uh, huh,” Alex said.

  His father’s hands fidgeted, so he opened the door. Alex stared at the gorgeous woman standing on his father’s porch. He knew her face. She reminded him of... Noelle. Tommy’s girlfriend. Alex knew her name. It started with a... F. He’d seen her at the winter ball. Noelle’s aunt. It had to be. She didn’t show often to their local performances, but he knew her face.

  She held something in her hand. A watch. “I found this in my car. I assume it’s yours.” She handed it to his father. Then she directed her attention to Alex. “You must be Alex.” She extended her hand to him.

  Alex shook her hand. He didn’t recall her being this nice before. She had been known around town as... uptight. “I am. Nice to meet you. You’re Noelle’s aunt, right? I’ve seen you at some of our local shows.”

  She smiled a bright smile. “I am. She calls me Aunt Fran, though I prefer—”

  “Francesca,” his father said.

  Alex raised his eyebrows. Did his father’s eyes dilate? Ms. Francesca’s eyes diverted to his dad, but then she cleared her throat.

  “Anyway, you did wonders on my car. I saw that on my passenger floor, so I wanted to return it to you,” she said.

  Alex smirked. His father was the best mechanic in Bridge Point, owning his own shop downtown. The man even saved over the years and bought Alex his first drum set.

  “Anyway, you have a great evening.” She faced Alex. “Good luck on the tour. Noelle told me they have extended it. You guys have a great time.”

  “We will. Thank you,” Alex said.

  “Goodnight, Francesca. Thanks again,” his father said.

  She nodded and made her way back to her BMW. Alex closed the door after her. He stared at his father.

  His father stuffed his watch inside his pocket. “What?”

  Alex never thought about his father moving on. Was that a good idea? He shook his head. “Nothing, Dad. Nothing at all.”

  ***

  Zoe browsed the best seller wall in the bookstore. She even passed the section of discontinued books, inhaling the dry scent of paper mixed with the wood smell from the pine shelving. Customers murmured around her.

  She didn’t hesitate coming to the bookstore this time after her shift at Pam’s Diner. Once she made her choice, she would head home and curl up on the couch with a cup of iced tea. She gave a slight smile. Roslyn would joke, calling her an “old woman in a young woman’s body.”

  Zoe didn’t care. It was a one-eighty turnaround from how her life used to be. Closing her eyes, she could see herself back on campus. With a party every other night, Zoe never missed one. How did she keep her GPA up despite the late nights out? She’d never know.

  Her body flinched. Would the sound of crunched metal ever leave her memory? She’d been the one driving. Jayden was on the passenger side, with his hand on her knee. Why wasn’t Zoe paying attention? How could she?

  A buzz on her phone disrupted her thoughts. Her boss, Pam?

  “I’ll need you to close tonight, Zoe,” Pam said. Did she hear Pam’s voice quake?

  “Sure, I can help.” School didn’t start for another week. She’d have to negotiate her schedule at the diner with her new class load. Zoe would finish her degree. No matter what.

  “Thank you. I have to watch my granddaughter.” Pam paused. “Wait a minute?”

  “Something wrong?” Zoe asked.

  “I remember reading on your resume that you were a nanny, right?”

  “Yes.”

  Ms. Pam didn’t answer.

  “Ms. Pam?” Where was she getting at? Did she want Zoe to—

  “Zoe, I could use a favor, but there’s one thing.”

  “What’s that?”

  “You’re fired. I don’t need you at my diner anymore.”

  Zoe’s mouth dropped. “Ms. Pam, I’m in school and I just got a new place. I need—”

  “I know, but you’ll be of better use to me as a nanny for my daughter. I see that you’re a hard worker, and I checked your references when I hired you. The Hayes gave you quite the recommendation.”

  Zoe gave a slight smile. She didn’t plan on working with children again, but it was better than the unemployment line. “I loved working with their kids.”

  “I could use that expertise now. My daughter works in the emergency room at the hospital as a nurse. Her shifts are unpredictable, but she has a seventh month old daughter. I help when I can and she shares a duplex with her cousin, but we need someone now. I’m switching your job. I’ll even double your pay.”

  Zoe choked. This was crazy.

  “Don’t worry about my daughter. Lisa trusts my judgment. Ever since her divorce, I’ve done my best to help her since that husband of hers... anyway, stop by the diner. I’ll have Celine ready.”

  Celine. That was a pretty nam
e for a baby girl. Zoe hung up and checked out her books at the bookstore. She headed to Pam’s Diner. The bell chimed as she walked through the door, and she spotted her boss in the corner, and the baby who bounced on her toes while standing on her grandmother’s lap. At the sight of Zoe, Pam stood and rested Celine on her hip.

  Zoe smiled at the baby girl who already had two bottom teeth. “She’s adorable.”

  “Thank you. She’s a blessing.” Pam kissed her granddaughter’s plump cheek. A giggled followed. Celine was a cheerful baby. Without hesitation, she reached for Zoe. Zoe didn’t deny the child but cradled her in her arms. Then Celine went for her necklace, tugging at the chain around Zoe’s neck.

  “She likes you already,” Ms. Pam said as she folded her arms.

  “She’s sweet.” Zoe brushed Celine’s soft curls away from her face. “She doesn’t have any special instructions does she? Food allergies?”

  Ms. Pam shook her head. “Lisa has formula in the refrigerator, her favorite stuffed animal is in her crib, and she doesn’t have trouble going to sleep. Lisa should be home no later than midnight. I asked my nephew to come and lead you to her place.”

  “I can find it with no problem. I can plug her address into my phone.”

  Pam nodded. “I know but he lives next door and he can show you around the place. He watches Celine from time to time to help Lisa out. He’s been a life saver.” She looked passed Zoe to the front door as the bell chimed. “There he is.”

  Zoe turned with Celine on her hip to see... Alex? He was Ms. Pam’s nephew? Zoe swallowed. She hadn’t seen him since their run-in at the movie theater.

  Alex’s eyes widened for a moment, but then he grinned. He spoke to his aunt first, kissing her cheek.

  “Have you met Zoe?” Ms. Pam asked, directing her attention to Zoe.

  “I have.” He licked his lips. He wouldn’t dare flirt with her in front of his aunt, would he? Zoe opened her mouth to protest, but then Celine squealed in her arms.

  Alex held out his arms. Zoe gave him the baby. “Hey, there’s my princess.” He kissed her cheeks and stroked her back. Zoe felt a twinge in her chest, but cleared her throat.

  “I see she missed you,” his aunt said.