Thinking of Zoe

by Daria White

  Alex pinched the skin at his throat. His father’s eyes shined. There was no way he could fake the joy that was apparently bubbling inside him. Alex wanted him to be happy, but at what cost? “I just don’t... want you to get hurt.”

  His father then rested his hands on his son’s shoulders. “I know. You have a good heart, son. I know what you’re thinking, but it’s going to work out. Trust me.”

  “How do you know?” He’d been wanting to know the answer to that question for years. His father already been through the side effects of love. His father had been broken, though he proved to love Alex’s mother. She still left them, and they hadn’t heard from her since.

  Why would his father take another chance? How did he know Noelle’s aunt, Francesca, wouldn’t drag his father into the ground? What did they have in common, anyway? He was a mechanic, and she was a lawyer.

  “Son, when the right woman comes along, a man always knows,” his father said. He then patted his son’s back. “You get something to eat. I’ll see you later.” His father walked away, back to his date.

  Alex released a cleansing breath. His eyes scanned the crowd once more, but despite the number of people gathered for the cook off, he spotted Zoe. She held a hand to her mouth as if stifling a giggle.

  She stood in a group with Tommy, Noelle, and Bailey. Where was Jackson? Alex shook the thought. The man was probably keeping an eye on him out of sight.

  Alex walked over to a nearby table. Townspeople brought casserole dishes and crock pot meals to go along with the steaks. He wondered if Ms. Edna from the floral shop cooked her famous garlic potatoes. Alex’s mouth watered at the sight of them, next to the roast chicken.

  He grabbed a paper plate and reached for the spoon, only to brush fingers with another hand. He looked up. Zoe.

  “Sorry,” she said. “Go ahead.”

  Alex shook his head. “No, ladies first. Please.”

  “Thank you.” She served her plate and then handed the spoon to him. “This tastes amazing.”

  “Ms. Edna can cook. She claims this is her last year.”

  Zoe raised an eyebrow. “Why? Her food is amazing.”

  Alex chuckled. “She claims she’s getting too old to be cooking like this.”

  Zoe grinned. “I can understand.” She gestured around them. “This is a huge event. Is it always like this in Bridge Point? Is there a festival for everything?”

  “Well... we have our Christmas parade. We just had the winter ball. Now we have our steak cook off. There’s also our July 4th barbecue—”

  “Wow, anything else?”

  “We’d be here all night if I told you all of Bridge Point’s traditions.” His heartbeat quickened. Why did spending more time with Zoe excite him? In the past, he would get complacent spending time with one woman. Not Zoe.

  “I like it.” Her tone of voice was softer compared to her reaction to him as he helped her parallel park. “I guess living in the city, there’re not too many events like this.”

  “I agree. I love the feeling of community here. I’m sure you can find it in the city, but Bridge Point is my home.”

  “You’ve never lived in the city?”

  Alex shook his head. “Not that I can remember.”

  “So tell me, who usually wins the steak cook off.”

  Alex swallowed.

  Zoe’s grin widened. “What? Are you all that competitive?”

  “My aunt and my dad are entries.”

  “Your father and your Aunt Pam? How did that even—”

  “I don’t know, but every year it’s a thing.”

  “Who usually wins?”

  He cleared his throat. “Aunt Pam.”

  Zoe giggled. “Well, she does own her diner. She cooks for a living.”

  “That’s what I tell my dad, but he swears he can beat her this time. He’s a mechanic, but he likes to cook as a hobby.” He and Zoe continued their stroll down the street.

  “Did he teach you how to cook?” she asked.

  “I learned a few things.” Alex felt his pulse in his throat. Was his dad right? Was that why his father was willing to risk getting hurt? Alex stared for a moment at the potatoes on his plate. If his dad could do it, couldn’t he?

  “There you are,” Noelle said. Her smile warm and bright. “We found some empty chairs to sit and eat. You two coming?”

  Zoe walked ahead as Alex trailed behind the ladies. His mind rattled on what to do. Then they approached the group, sitting in lawn chairs. Tommy and Jackson appeared to be in a conversation.

  Zoe sat next to Noelle, crossing her legs at the ankles. Alex spotted the empty chair. Next to hers. He sat down with his plate in hand, avoiding eye contact with the woman who was making his nerve endings tingle. He focused on eating.

  “I can’t believe we’re leaving next week,” Bailey said.

  “Sounds too good to be true sometimes.” Tommy sipped from his can of soda.

  “Things we’ll never be the same for us. Thank you guys.” Jackson looked around at the group. “We’re here because of you.”

  “You getting sappy on us, man.” Tommy patted his friend’s back.

  “Shut up.” Jackson said, jerking away from him, but his smile gave him away.

  Alex grinned.

  “I think it’s sweet,” Bailey said.

  “I already see Grammy nominations.” Noelle added.

  Tommy draped an arm around her shoulder and kissed her. “That’s why I love you.”

  Alex adjusted in his seat. Everyone here was a couple except for him and Zoe. His eyes drifted to her. Her chin dipped to her chest. Was she uncomfortable as he was? Alex would’ve done better sitting with his father and Noelle’s aunt.

  “Now if I can convince this one to come with us, I can sleep better at night,” Jackson said, pointing to his sister.

  Zoe’s head shot up. “I can take care of myself. How many times do I have to tell you?”

  He winked at her. “I know. I’m kidding.”

  She threw a napkin at him. “Not funny.”

  The group laughed.

  “I’ll send pictures and videos, Zoe.” Noelle said. “Don’t worry. You won’t miss a moment.”

  Zoe smiled. “Thank you.”

  “You have everything you need for your classes?” Alex asked.

  She looked over at him. Her lips parted as if she was surprised that he asked her. “I think so. Between the school’s online bookstore and what I found here, I’ll be fine.”

  “Good,” Alex said. Did his voice lower? He didn’t intend for it to, but the way Zoe’s eyes glossed over undid him. He looked away, only to catch Jackson staring. With her brother’s eyes narrowing at him, Alex didn’t have to wonder what Jackson was thinking.

  ***

  “Hurry up and eat.” Zoe washed the dishes in her sink.

  Jackson finished the last of the chicken Alfredo she had made. Just like her brother to visit on the nights she cooked. Only tonight, Lisa got called in to cover for a co-worker at the hospital, so Zoe needed to leave soon.

  “Give me a minute,” her brother said. “You sure you’ll be okay?”

  She eyeballed him. “I’m a grown woman. I can take care of myself while you’re out on the road.”

  He handed her his plate.

  She pointed to the sink. “Wash your own.”

  He winked at her. “Just checking. Mom rubbed off on you.”

  She dried her hands with a dish towel. “I was grateful when we got a dishwasher, but it did teach us to take care of our stuff. I had a nasty roommate my freshman year in college. The girl would throw away real plates.”

  Jackson’s nose wrinkled. “Disgusting.” His hand glided over his plate as he washed it with the towel. “Talked to Mom recently?” He turned off the running water.

  “Not since we...” She raised an eyebrow. “Why? She called you?”

  “No, I just wondered.”

  “Why? I haven’t done anything.” She huffed, folding her arms over her chest
. “Does everyone think I’m a lost cause?”

  Her brother sighed and step closer. He rested his strong hands on her shoulders. “No, I don’t. Calm down. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

  She shrugged. Yet Zoe couldn’t hide her irritation. “You just don’t trust me? I thought at least you would despite Mom needing more time.”

  “I can’t speak for Mom or Dad.” He dropped his hands to his side.

  “You’ve seen my progress, Jackson. I’m back in school. I have my own place. A job that pays well. What more can I do?”

  Jackson rubbed at his eyebrow. “I don’t know, but can you do me a favor?”

  “What?”

  “I think its best you keep away from Alex.”

  Her mouth fell open. “Why? We’re not dating. I only see him when I’m at his cousin’s house.”

  Her brother focused his eyes on her. “I’m not blind, sis. The man’s interested. He’s not a bad guy, but he’s not what he appears to be.”

  “There’s nothing going on with us.” Why was she defending herself? She and Alex talked occasionally, but that was it. She didn’t... like him. Jackson didn’t have to tell her he was no good for her. Zoe knew. Why did he think she was that naïve?

  “I know men, sis. As soon as he sees a way in, he’ll go for it.”

  “That doesn’t mean I’ll accept.”

  “I know.” He reached for her hands. “I love you, okay? You’re doing well now and I don’t want you to backtrack. Would you rather hear this from me or Mom?”

  Zoe sighed. Jackson had been her confidant for years. He always defended her when it came to their parents. Her chest tightened the night of the accident. Her brother had hung his head low with disappointment in her. She couldn’t do that to him again. Not when he was in her corner cheering her on.

  “Nothing’s happening between us.” Tenseness increased in her muscles. She could keep her promise to Jackson.

  He kissed her forehead. “I’m only thinking of you.”

  She gave a slight smile. Once he left, she grabbed her phone and purse and headed to Lisa’s home. She only listened to the engine hum as she drove. She didn’t want the radio playing. Next thing Zoe knew, she pulled into Lisa’s driveway. Her phone buzzed with a text.

  6:15 P.M. Lisa: Alex stopped by so I left Celine w/ him. Thanks again!

  Zoe rested her head against her headrest. He was here. Great. Just great. She rolled her shoulders back, cut the engine, and slid out of the driver’s seat. This was her job. He wouldn’t distract her.

  Her heartbeat quickened. So what she liked him. She knew the outcome. Jackson thought he wasn’t good for her. Zoe went further. She wasn’t good for him. Her track record proved her mistakes. Even if Alex had good intentions, she would only leave him broken. Just like Jayden.

  Using her key, she opened the door. She paused, seeing Alex with Celine on the couch. The baby gurgled and giggled as he bounced her on his knee.

  “Hey.” His eyes beamed once he saw Zoe.

  She forced a smile and closed the door behind her. “Looks like you two are having fun.”

  He then put Celine down on her play mat. The baby reached for her brown Teddy bear, grabbing at the ears.

  “Lisa was in a hurry, so I told her I would keep an eye on Celine until you got here.”

  Zoe set her purse to the side. “Thanks for your help.”

  “I don’t mind.” Did his eyes soften?

  “You don’t have to. It’s my job.”

  He blinked, as if taken aback by her words. “Okay. Are you hungry? I think Lisa has some—”

  “I’ve eaten already. I’ll find something or order takeout later,” she said.

  Alex nodded. His eyebrows furrowed. “Okay.”

  Zoe cleared her throat. “If there’s nothing else, you can go. I’ll be fine with Celine.”

  His lips parted, and he lowered his eyes to the floor for a moment. “Actually, I wanted to ask you something.”

  Zoe moved to the kitchen. “I’m sure it can wait.”

  Alex followed her. “No, I wanted to talk to you before I leave.”

  Zoe opened the refrigerator for a bottle of water. Heat spread over her back. Alex was close. She swallowed.

  He whispered her name. “Zoe.”

  “Don’t,” she said.

  He pressed his forehead to the back of her head. “Don’t shut me out. Not now. I know I’m not the only one feeling this way.”

  Zoe sighed. “Even if I did, it wouldn’t work.”

  “What?”

  She turned and faced him. “I’m not stupid, Alex.”

  His forehead wrinkled. “What are you talking about?”

  She squared her shoulders. “Whatever this is.” She gestured between them. “It’s nothing. Besides, I’m not interested in being another one of your women.”

  “Is that what you think? That I’m playing you?”

  “Don’t all men?”

  He stepped back from her. Did he flinch? Zoe rubbed the back of her neck. Alex only stared as they stood across from one another in Lisa’s kitchen. Then her eyes fell to the floor, noticing Celine crawling with a grin on her baby face. Drool drizzling on her chin.

  Zoe walked over and picked her up.

  “I guess you have it handled.” Alex’s voice sounded cold. “I’ll see you around.” He walked over and kissed Celine’s cheek.

  Zoe didn’t look his way, and even when the door shut behind him, she didn’t go after him. Perhaps her words were harsh, but she promised her brother. Then why did her lungs constrict? Her stomach hardened.

  She rocked Celine to sleep, as her own bottom lip trembled. Did she make the right decision? Was Alex being sincere? Zoe couldn’t take the risk. It was for both their sakes.

  Chapter 11

  “Do you care about this man?” Dr. Burns asked.

  Zoe stared at her laptop screen. Her full class schedule showed and two professors already had assignments posted. She had quite a few chapters to read, so she would have to work it around her job. Celine was a sound sleeper, so Zoe could get some reading accomplished when working. Today was an exception since she was off.

  “Zoe?”

  Zoe’s chin dropped to her chest. She clutched her phone in her hand. “Yes.”

  “That’s a good thing. It’s been a long time.”

  Zoe rubbed at her shoulder. It felt tight from all the tension building inside her. “It’s not a good idea.”

  “Why not? Has he done anything to make you feel uncomfortable?” Dr. Burns asked.

  “No.”

  “How does he make you feel?”

  A warm sensation flooded Zoe’s core. She hadn’t felt this way about a man since Jayden. She’d kept her blinders on since the accident, refusing to get involved with another bad boy. That’s what Alex was, but why did her heart scream to give him a chance?

  What if he had changed? She shook her head. Men like him didn’t change overnight. He’d have to be in love with her to do that. Alex wasn’t. He’d probably never been in love a day in his life. Men like him kept as many women as possible. They never committed.

  “Like... I’m all he sees.”

  Dr. Burns continued. “He may surprise you. I’m not saying don’t have standards, but you never know. That’s the trouble with walls.”

  Zoe sighed. “I know, but at least I don’t have to worry about—”

  “Getting hurt?”

  Zoe’s bottom lip trembled. “Hurting him. I know... I know what I’ve done. It’s in my memories for good. I hurt my family, friends, and the first man I ever loved. I don’t want to pull Alex into that, even if he means well.”

  “So you’re protecting him from you?” Dr. Burns sighed. “Zoe, the man is an adult. I think he can make his own decisions regarding his relationships. Now, you say he’s a player. Usually a player vows he won’t get hurt again because of damage in past relationships. Or he might have seen some things growing up, and it’s distorted his view on love.”

&
nbsp; “I think we both have baggage. It’s best to stay away,” Zoe said.

  “If you think that’s best, I can’t argue with that. I just don’t want you to walk away out of fear. If you see something you don’t like, fine, but if you see more beyond the surface, don’t run away too soon.”

  Zoe’s phone beeped. It was Bailey. “I have to go, Dr. Burns. I’ll check in with you again soon.”

  “Have a good one,” she said. “Remember what I told you.”

  Zoe smiled after Dr. Burns hung up. She clicked over to Bailey. “Hey?”

  “Noelle and I are doing some last minute shopping before we leave. Want to join us?” Bailey asked.

  Zoe closed her laptop. She could use a break and a distraction from her thoughts about Alex. Between their interaction at the steak cook off and their last conversation at Lisa’s place, she needed space from the man.

  The drive to the clothing store didn’t take long, and piped-in music met Zoe as soon as she opened the door. The smells of hand lotion, new clothing, perfume, and air freshener filled her nose.

  She passed the wall shelving of folded jeans in various styles and sizes. Mannequins in various poses stood in their positions on risers, while other mannequins’ heads sported hats, sunglasses, and scarves.

  “Zoe, back here.”

  Zoe focused her gaze to see Noelle waving at her. She walked over and hugged her. She could get used to having close friends in her and Bailey.

  “So glad you could make it,” Noelle said.

  “Me too.” Zoe reached over to a nearby rack. Her fingers slid over the slick satin of a coral blouse. “What all are you looking for?”

  “One last outfit for Bailey.” Noelle pulled a royal blue sleeveless shirt from the rack, inspecting it. “I’m thinking something semi casual.”

  “She’s in the dressing room?” Zoe asked.

  Noelle nodded. “Trying on the third outfit I suggested.”

  Zoe smiled, but that didn’t stop her gaze from dropping to the hardwood floor.

  “Everything okay?” Noelle raised an eyebrow.

  “A lot on my mind, but school will keep me busy.”

  “What did you think of the steak cook off?”

  Zoe nodded. “Interesting. Especially, the look on Aunt Pam’s face when Alex’s dad won.”