The Protector: The Complete C.I.A. Romance Series

by Lilian Monroe

  The script I’d so carefully prepared as I was painting flew out of my head. All of a sudden, standing here with Jayden, I felt small again. Tears threatened to spill onto my cheeks and I shook my head to compose myself.

  “You…”

  “I what? I don’t deserve a fucking phone call to let me know you’re okay? I came home this morning and you were gone! What the fuck?”

  “I am not the one in the wrong here.”

  “Hailey—”

  “How long have you been cheating on me? With how many girls?”

  Jayden stared at me as the wheels in his head started turning. Emotions flashed across his face in quick succession. Surprise. Guilt. Embarrassment. Anger.

  “Have you been reading my messages?” His voice sliced my flesh as it cut through me.

  I wavered, closing my eyes. All I could see was Freddy, and I hated it. I hated that in less than twenty-four hours, he’d gotten under my skin. Somehow, he’d appeared when I was most vulnerable, when my defenses were down, and now I wanted him.

  Needed him.

  When I opened my eyes again, Jayden was fuming.

  And I didn’t care. I shook my head. “I’m done, Jayden.”

  “What do you mean, you’re done?”

  “She means get out.” We both jumped, turning toward the door to the gallery. Gianni stood in the doorway, eyebrow arched, glancing between Jayden and me.

  “Stay out of this,” Jayden spat.

  Gianni took a step forward. The Italian was surprisingly intimidating. Jayden doubled down, drawing his eyebrows together and taking a step toward me. I backed away, shaking my head.

  “Goodbye, Jayden.”

  The mask on his face fell away and I saw the depth of his ugliness. He snarled, frowning at me until he finally turned around and stomped out. The door slammed behind him and I jumped.

  I slumped down, only straightening up when I felt Gianni’s hand on my shoulder. I tried not to let the revulsion show on my face. Who else had that hand touched? Girls as young as five?

  His eyes were soft and he smiled sadly. “This too shall pass,” he said. A poet as well as a human trafficker, apparently.

  I nodded. “It was a long time coming.”

  “Come with me,” he said, taking my hand. “There’s someone I want you to meet. A client from New York. I sent him pictures of your work and he’s very interested in doing business. He loves you already. He wants to meet to discuss a very large commission.”

  I glanced at the door where Jayden had left and wanted to pull my hand away from him. I’d never really minded how touchy Gianni was, but now…

  If I was going to stay safe and alive, I needed to pretend that nothing was wrong. I turned to Gianni and nodded. “Okay. Let me get out of my painting clothes and I’ll meet you out front.”

  Gianni clucked my cheek and ambled back to the gallery. Bile rose in my throat, but I swallowed it back down and let out a sigh.

  And that was that. Jayden was gone, and Gianni was taking me to see a potential new client. No matter how tumultuous the past 24 hours had been, life went on.

  Even though I didn’t know what Gianni was up to, or if Freddy’s suspicions about him were true, Gianni was my future. In my moment of weakness, where Jayden could have broken me down, he came in and stood in my corner.

  My relationship with Jayden was over, but this whole mess with Freddy and Gianni was only beginning. I didn’t know who to trust.

  All I could do was keep going and trust my instincts. Make decisions one by one and take it day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute.

  And at this minute, all I could do was change my clothes and go meet this potential new client. After that, I would reassess.

  So, when we drove to the Four Seasons, I felt nothing. There was no thrill of excitement as there had been the night of the gallery opening. There were no nerves about meeting a potential client, or anxiety about needing to sell more paintings.

  The numbness overtook me without me even realizing it. When Jayden left the studio, he took all my feelings—my confusion, my anxiety—with him. He took all my worries about Freddy and the memories of the past, as well as my worries about working for the CIA.

  Right now, I was just Hailey Ford—an up-and-coming artist. Nothing more, and nothing less. I was just in Gianni’s car, driving to a luxury hotel to meet a client.

  And after the last twenty-four hours, it was a relief. I leaned into the numbness and let it take over. I watched the streets go by, my eyes glazing over as Gianni told me about this potential client. I thought about nothing. I felt nothing. I just let Gianni lead me through the hotel lobby and up the elevators to the penthouse.

  18

  Freddy

  All my senses were heightened. My muscles coiled under my skin as I scanned the lobby, walking with as much purpose as I could toward the elevators. A quick glance told me they were operated with key cards, each one linked to an individual room. I wasn’t staying at the hotel, and I wouldn’t be able to get up to the penthouse without one.

  I located the stairwell and found it unlocked. Breathing a sigh of relief, I took the steps two at a time. Touching the side of my waistband, I swore under my breath when I realized I’d left my gun in the van.

  I felt exposed. But what was I going to do? Burst into the penthouse, guns blazing?

  No. Hailey was in there, and that would blow the whole operation. I needed to be smart. I pulled out my phone and slowed down as I made the climb to the top of the building.

  “Gary, what’s going on in there?”

  “Hailey’s inside. She’s meeting Wei. They’re just talking.”

  “Does it look dangerous? Tense?”

  “They’re laughing. She looks fine.”

  I exhaled, half-relieved and half-frustrated. I felt useless. I was supposed to be protecting Hailey from these people, and yet she was in that room and I was out here.

  If I had my way, I’d throw her over my shoulder and take her far, far away from all this. We could run away to Mexico and live on the beach for the rest of our days. Or travel the world together—we’d always talked about going to Paris when we graduated college together.

  That hadn’t happened. I left, and she was shunned from her family, thrown out and forced to make it on her own. I took a deep breath.

  “They’re shaking hands,” Gary said through the phone. He kept talking to me, telling me what was going on. They sat down. They laughed some more. Now they were having drinks.

  My feet pounded on the concrete steps as I made my way up, up, up. Gary’s voice kept me updated on what was happening as dread curled in the depths of my heart.

  She was in there because of me. If I hadn’t been driving that car ten years ago, she would never have taken the blame and she wouldn’t have been shut out from her family. She might be an artist, but she wouldn’t have needed someone like Gianni to give her career a step up. She’d still be calling herself Hailey LaFleur—the golden child and promising artist.

  Guilt reared its ugly head, threatening to swallow me whole. I’d pushed these feelings down over the years, telling myself that I did the right thing by leaving. I told myself that she didn’t need me, that her father was right. That I was trouble. That she was better off without me.

  I took his money and I walked away.

  Not anymore.

  I redoubled my speed, taking the steps two by two. Gary still couldn’t hear what they were saying, but by all accounts, it sounded like a pleasant business meeting. I dropped the phone from my ear and jogged up the steps even faster.

  With the Russos, there was no such thing as a pleasant business meeting—especially not when they were talking to criminal kingpins from New York City.

  I flew up the last couple of steps and paused at the stairwell door to catch my breath.

  “Location?” Gary said through the phone as I put it back to my ear.

  “Top floor,” I panted.

  “What’s your plan?”

&
nbsp; I exhaled. “I don’t have one.”

  “You can’t just break down the door, Freddy,” Gary said, ever patient. “You’ll blow the whole operation. He knows your face from your genius idea to attend that exhibition. This whole ‘I’m going in’ thing isn’t exactly working out for you. The Russos will be in the wind faster than we can blink.”

  “I know. I just… I need…”

  “Something happened between the two of you, didn’t it? You and Hailey?”

  My chest was heaving after my ascent. I held the phone to my ear, squeezing my eyes shut. “Yeah. We got in a car accident years ago and she… She took the fall for me.”

  Gary paused, and I caught my breath.

  “Go back downstairs and wait for them there,” he finally said. His voice was surprisingly authoritative. “You can’t do anything from up there.”

  “I just… I can’t be the reason she gets hurt again.”

  “If they see you there, you will be.”

  I nodded, even though he couldn’t see me. “Yeah. Yeah, you’re right.” I leaned my head on the stairwell door and finally released the handle, turning around and heading back down the steps I’d just rushed up. I held the phone to my ear as Gary told me what was going on.

  They were still drinking, still laughing, and still talking about things we couldn’t hear over their music.

  “How does she look?” I interrupted. “Hailey?”

  “She looks… tired.”

  I jogged back down the steps. At the bottom, I took a moment to compose myself, bringing my hand to my forehead.

  “I’m at the bottom. I’ll call you in a bit.” I hung up the phone. Leaning against the grey concrete wall, I gulped down another breath and squeezed my eyes shut.

  Rushing in here had been supremely stupid—absolutely idiotic. Suicidal. If I’d been caught—even if the Russos hadn’t killed me—Berkeley surely would.

  But I couldn’t help myself. The thought of Hailey in a room with all those sharks… I couldn’t take it. It was driving me insane. Round and round in my head, the thoughts kept circling.

  Hurting her. Leaving her. Putting her in harm’s way.

  Ten years later, I was doing the same thing. Anger surged inside me until I couldn’t handle it anymore. I slammed my fist against the concrete and pain exploded through my hand. I winced, shaking my fingers out and swearing under my breath. My knuckles would bruise.

  My blood felt like it was liquid fire. My whole body was burning up.

  I was making the same mistakes I’d made before. Except this time, I wasn’t a dumb teenager. I was a fucking CIA agent, for Christ’s sake! I was supposed to protect Hailey, not use her.

  With a deep breath, I pushed the stairwell door open and made my way back out to the lobby. I found a plush couch in the corner and sank down into it, shielding myself behind a column as I waited for Hailey to reappear.

  I sat on pins and needles, cursing myself, Berkeley, the Russos, and John LaFleur—right up until the elevator doors dinged open and she appeared.

  Hailey’s cheeks were flushed. Gianni had his hand on her lower back and she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear as he guided her out of the elevator. She laughed at something, but I wasn’t close enough to see if the laughter reached her eyes. I gripped the edges of the couch to stop myself from jumping up.

  My heart thumped. If Gianni swung his head this way, he’d see me. If he recognized me, it would be over. Step by step, they walked closer. Hailey’s face was lined, but Gianni didn’t seem to notice. Tension tripped up my spine as his head swiveled toward me.

  I was a dead man.

  Gianni’s eyes were scanning the lobby, and any second, he’d feel my gaze and turn his head the last few inches to see me.

  But he didn’t.

  Instead, he waved his hands as he talked and Hailey smiled. As they got closer, I could see the exhaustion in her face and the weakness in her eyes.

  She looked beaten down.

  Then, she flicked her gaze in my direction and my heart stopped. Her eyes widened and those lush lips dropped open. We stared at each other as she walked until she finally snapped her head forward again. The two of them passed within ten feet of me on their way to the lobby’s sliding glass doors.

  “I’ll meet you in the car, Gianni, I just need to go to the ladies’ room.”

  “Of course, bella,” Gianni said. “I’ll be waiting.”

  Hailey paused as Gianni walked out, then turned back toward the lobby. I watched Gianni speak to the valet outside until I was sure he wasn’t looking back, and then got up and followed Hailey across the lobby. She walked quickly, stepping lightly across the shiny floors. Her fists opened and closed in front of me as she hurried ahead of me.

  I wasn’t far behind. She ducked down a narrow hallway, beneath the sign for the restrooms, and I followed, my heart beating in my throat. When I turned the corner, I was greeted with an empty hallway.

  Before I could walk to the ladies’ room door, the cleaner’s closet beside me opened and Hailey’s arm shot out. She grabbed me by the collar and dragged me in, slamming the door behind me.

  19

  Hailey

  “What the hell are you doing here?” I pushed Freddy back against the door with both hands. He stumbled backward until his back hit the closed door. The fluorescent lights flickered above us. The nothingness that had come over me with Jayden was shattered like a pane of glass. Freddy took a hammer to my numbness, smashing it with one easy blow.

  Emotion slammed into me like a punch to the gut and I pushed him back again, shoving him into the door again as hard as I could. He didn’t resist. His eyes were soft, and I hated that he wasn’t mad.

  I was mad. Sad. Confused. I felt like throwing up but I never wanted him to leave.

  “Hailey…”

  “Stop.” I held up my hands, taking a step away from him. “Don’t say my name.” My foot caught on cleaning supplies behind me, and my arms flailed as I started to fall backward. Freddy jumped forward, wrapping his thick, strong arms around my waist and catching me before I went tumbling into a heap with the mop and bucket.

  He was warm, and safe, and he smelled like comfort, sex, and manliness all wrapped into one. I hated him so much it hurt, and I didn’t hate him at all. My whole body was stiff in his arms, my eyes squeezed shut and my hands balled into fists.

  Freddy pulled away from me slightly, forcing me to look up into his face. Light danced in his eyes as his lips tugged upward.

  “Still as graceful as when we were kids, huh?”

  “Shut up, Freddy,” I said, smacking his broad chest. I ducked my head to hide my face as a blush crept over my cheeks. I stepped back, disentangling myself from his embrace as the walls suddenly felt like they were closing in on me.

  He was too close. He wasn’t close enough. I wanted to tangle my fingers into his hair and kiss him like my life depended on it, but I knew that it would be a slippery slope into certain heartbreak if I did.

  I was fragile, broken, vulnerable.

  And he was warm, comforting, electrifying.

  Freddy’s green eyes searched mine as the air in the room hung heavily between us. I could feel the power of his gaze. He made a growl, deep in his chest, and it sent a zing of heat between my legs. He looked at me like I belonged to him, and I didn’t hate the feeling. I shook my head.

  “What are you doing here?”

  “We were watching the hotel and I saw you come in,” he said. His voice had a ring of truth to it, and I was relieved that he hadn’t been following me. “I needed to make sure you were all right.”

  I nodded. “Okay. Why were you watching the hotel?”

  “Hailey, these people… The Russos, Wei… They’re dangerous.”

  “They want to buy my paintings. Gianni said he was introducing me to Liu Wei because he’d seen my work and wanted to commission four pieces.”

  Freddy’s face twisted into a grimace and his hands squeezed into fists. I glanced down at those
hands—the same hands that I wanted all over my body—and I frowned. Taking his palm in mine, I turned it over to see his swollen, bruised knuckles.

  “What happened?”

  “I got in a fight with a wall.”

  “Looks like neither of us has changed much,” I grinned. “You always did have anger management issues. I remember you fighting more than once when we were in high school.”

  “I was bullied, and I was always the bad guy because I was poor and everybody else at that school was rich.” Tension rippled across his jaw as I held his hand. I brushed my fingers over his bruises as he took a step closer to me. “You were the only one at that school who treated me like a human being.”

  “Shame you couldn’t return the favor.” The words tumbled out of my mouth with more venom than I anticipated, and Freddy’s face fell. I regretted it instantly.

  As much as I hated what he’d done—how he left and let me take the blame for that accident when he had promised to be by my side—I didn’t want to hurt him. I never wanted to hurt him.

  “Hailey…” He inhaled, drawing his eyebrows together. His mouth dropped open but no words came out, and the tension between us heightened. The smell of cleaning supplies and musk and him was almost too much to bear.

  I swallowed past a lump in my throat as my eyes flicked to Freddy’s lips. Pink, soft, and sinful. I wanted them. I wanted him.

  But I shook my head and shuttered myself against the onslaught of emotions that he caused. “You can’t be here. Gianni knows you. If he sees you…”

  “I know what I’m doing.”

  “Could have fooled me.”

  Freddy paused, stuck somewhere between laughter and anger. I used the moment to square my shoulders and shake my head. “We can’t be seen together.”

  “I’m buying a painting off you.”

  “We can’t be seen together outside of normal artist-client interactions.”

  “Says who?”

  “Says me.” I stamped my foot like a petulant child and Freddy’s eyebrow arched. He loved frustrating me. He loved getting under my skin and I loved having him there.