Winter Heat
Page 54
He silenced my thoughts with his lips. At first, I stiffened, but as he continued to glide his lips against mine, I relaxed into his touch. And then I smiled. Justin was kissing me. We were kissing. And not just kissing, at least not like I’d ever kissed before. We were making love with our mouths, two souls connecting.
And the longer we kissed, the more frantic our movements became. With every thrust of his tongue, I imagined his body mimicking the movement. The more we touched, the more my appetite for him grew. His hands were in my hair, on my shoulders, clawing at my shirt, pulling it over my head.
I was just as eager, just as out of control. I tugged at the hem of his T-shirt, and he reached behind his neck and pulled it off. I studied his chest—the smooth skin, strong muscles, the dusting of hair. He was… Wow. Though it wasn’t the first time I’d seen Justin shirtless, it was the first where I could look my fill.
And he drank me in just as greedily, his eyes caressing my bare skin. They lingered on my nipples, which puckered in response. The pebbled buds straining against the lace of my red bralette, aching to be touched by him.
He laid me back on the bed, our lips colliding once more. His kiss—like his touch—was firm yet reverential. Confident even in the softest of caresses. He didn’t hesitate to touch me like he owned me, and perhaps he knew he already did. Always had.
The only sound was that of our shared breaths as he crawled over me. His hard length grazed my thigh through my pajamas before nudging my center. My very wet, very achy, center.
He groaned into my ear as we began to rock against each other, dry-humping in my childhood bedroom like a pair of horny teenagers. And yet—nothing had ever seemed so hot. I was half convinced I was dreaming. And I didn’t want to wake up, didn’t want it to end. Not in a few days, not ever.
“God, Brie. You feel so amazing.” His voice was low and rich, sending vibrations down my spine.
“Yes,” I sighed into his mouth, arching my hips to gain more friction. I wanted more of everything. More of his hard chest brushing against my breasts. More of his hips grinding against mine. More of those whispered words I’d always longed to hear from his lips. It was enough to nearly set me off, and we’d barely removed any clothes.
He slid a hand up to cup my breast, and I moaned.
“Shh.” He chuckled. “You don’t want your parents to hear us, do you?”
My eyes snapped open. I was allowing myself to get carried away, but then I remembered it wasn’t real. None of it was real. Even as he kissed his way down my stomach, the lust-filled haze started to clear. My brain overrode my body, telling me to stop. Because soon, we’d cross a line we couldn’t go back from. Kissing was one thing—though, we’d gotten carried away with the dry-humping. But sex was…sex would… I panted, my body like a live wire. We just couldn’t. Especially not with my parents sleeping down the hall.
Despite the fact that my clit was crying out for his touch. Despite his impressive hard-on, nudging between my thighs. We had to stop.
He stilled, hovering above me. His warm gaze found mine. “What’s wrong?”
“I—” I shook my head. “We.” I swallowed, forcing the words out. “Can’t.”
He shifted so he was lying beside me, and he propped himself up on one elbow, resting the other over me. He was giving me space, while maintaining our connection.
The lines were blurring, and I didn’t know where we stood anymore. Only a few hours into this fictional relationship, and my whole world had been flipped upside down. My head knew it was fake, temporary. But my heart—and my body—were an entirely different matter. My body yearned for this man. And my heart whispered this was where I belonged.
“I shouldn’t have…” He shook his head, tucking his arms behind it.
I missed his touch, wanted to kick myself for stopping something so amazing. As we lay there, staring at the ceiling, I gathered the courage to voice my greatest fear.
“Can we really do this and not ruin our friendship?” He was the most important person in my life, and I didn’t want to lose him.
“Of course we can.”
I envied his conviction. I envied the way he could just shut off his feelings and erect a wall between physical connection and emotional. He made it seem so easy.
I let out a deep sigh, my mind, body, and heart at war.
“Tell me the truth.” His expression was serious as he turned on his side to face me. I mirrored his movement, tucking my hands beneath my head. “What was the first thing that popped into your head when your dad said the words ‘Dame Dungeon’?”
“Fifty Shades,” I blurted.
We both started laughing, and the universe fell back into place. Justin was my best friend. And I was in love with him.
It was warm under the covers, really warm. And I burrowed farther beneath the comforter, not ready to climb out of bed just yet. I’d been working overtime lately—pushing myself to finish designs for my clients. Between work and preparing for the holidays, I hadn’t had much time to sleep. It was one of the hazards of being your own boss. You had the ability to set your own hours, and I tended to work all hours.
The house was quiet, but then I heard the gentle murmur of someone else’s breath. My eyes widened as I remembered it wasn’t a dream—Justin was in my bed. As quietly as I could, I turned to face him. He was lying on his stomach, arm thrown above his head, hair mussed from sleep. I wanted to run my fingers through his auburn strands, smooth my hand down his back. He was so handsome, so caring, such a good friend.
Right. Friend, I reminded myself.
I squeezed my eyes shut, my stomach cramping. This was a bad idea—the worst. Lying to my family. Kissing my best friend. Yet, I couldn’t stop myself. I’d dreamed of being with Justin for so long, that I had to know.
And then, once this weekend was over, once we were over, I’d move on, and he’d move to Colorado. At least if things really did blow up, I wouldn’t have to see his face every day. But the thought made me sick to my stomach. I had to get out of here. I needed to clear my head. To get away from this man who twisted up my insides and owned my heart.
I crept out of bed, shutting the door to my room quietly before padding down the stairs to the kitchen.
I made myself some coffee, enjoying the stillness of the morning. At least until I heard someone approach. I braced myself when I saw who it was—Violet.
“Good morning,” she muttered, pushing her hair away from her face.
I lifted my chin in greeting but didn’t say anything more. Instead, I sipped my coffee and wished for solitude. I didn’t even know what to say to her. Should I scold her? Congratulate her? What?
She moved around the kitchen, mixing up some green concoction before leaning against the counter. She took a sip and her expression soured.
I couldn’t take it; I cracked. “What the heck are you drinking? That looks disgusting.”
“It is.” She cringed, taking another gulp.
“Then why are you drinking it?”
“Because I’m getting married, and I want to look good for the wedding.”
Barely two minutes into the conversation and there was no avoiding it. She was engaged to my ex and planning their wedding—their future—together. I seethed with the betrayal of it. She was my sister. She wasn’t supposed to date my ex-boyfriend, let alone marry him. Not that I wanted to marry him.
“I can’t believe you’re dating Justin,” she said, interrupting my internal diatribe.
“Why?” I hated the defensive tinge to my tone.
“I just…” She shook her head, a smile playing at her lips. “I’m surprised you crossed that line. I knew you always had a crush on him, but…”
“What?” I snapped. “But he’s out of my league?”
She jerked her head back. “No. Not at all. I just know how important his friendship is to you.”
I stared at the contents of my mug, knowing how true that was. “He’s my best friend,” I whispered.
She
pulled out the chair next to me and sat down, grabbing my hand. “How long have you been dating? And why didn’t you tell me?”
I lifted my gaze to hers, anger burning in my eyes. “Seriously?”
“What? We’ve always been close.”
I scoffed. “Says the woman who’s engaged to her sister’s ex.”
She retracted her hand, a pained expression on her face. “I’m sorry, Brie,” Violet said. “We never meant to hurt you. If it makes you feel any better, I fought the attraction. We both did.”
“Whatever,” I huffed. I didn’t want to hear it. “You wouldn’t have kept it a secret if you didn’t know it was wrong.”
“It’s not wrong.” She tightened her grip on her glass of green grossness. “Yes, it’s awkward. You dated him first, I get it. But we didn’t start dating until after you’d broken up.”
“How long after?”
She sighed. “Does it matter?” She waved a hand through the air, dismissing the question. “We love each other, and I really hoped you’d be supportive.”
I barked out a laugh.
She leaned back and crossed her arms over her chest. “Are you seriously going to sit there and judge me? How many times did you tell me you and Justin were just friends? And now, to find out you’ve been dating for months—” She shook her head. “I’m not the only one who’s been keeping secrets.”
“Whatever.” I glanced out the window, using the edge of my sleeve to wipe away a tear. It was too much—all of it. I was lying to everyone, most of all myself.
“Look—” She sighed. “I’m sorry. And yes, I should’ve told you sooner, but I didn’t want to say anything until I was certain. Surely, you can understand that.”
“I suppose,” I finally said, thinking about what a hypocrite I was. I softened, turning my attention back to my sister. “I’m happy for you, really. I just…wish it had been someone else.”
She nodded, her expression contrite. “I know. Me too. But the heart wants who it wants.”
“Yep.”
“So…will you forgive me? Please.”
I sighed, wanting to say yes but knowing I couldn’t. Not yet. Not if I didn’t mean it. “I need some time to get used to the idea of the two of you together.”
“Same! Though, I always thought you and Justin would make a good couple.”
I stood and went to refill my coffee, at a loss for words. I stared at the machine, watching as the coffee dripped into the mug. When a pair of hands found my hips, spanning my waist, I startled.
“Morning, Pocket.” Justin’s rich voice rumbled through me.
From behind me, his body radiated warmth and security. Home. That’s what being in Justin’s arms felt like—coming home. But this was temporary, and we were just pretending.
Chapter Four
JUSTIN
I took a seat on the couch, and Brie plopped down next to me. Her sweater slipped off her shoulder, exposing more of her tantalizing skin and her lacy bra. Today it was an emerald green, and I ached to run my fingers over it. So, I did.
I grinned to myself as I ran my thumb along her collarbone, watching as she stilled at my subtle touch. Or was it that Evan had entered the room, taking a seat on the armchair by the fireplace?
“What’s the plan for today?” Violet asked, falling into his lap.
Evan pulled her closer, kissing her like he hadn’t seen her in months not minutes. Brie clenched her jaw and stared straight ahead.
I leaned in to ghost my nose along her ear, her jaw. “You look so sexy.”
She laughed, and I briefly wondered if she thought I was joking. “You mean, now that I’m not wearing a big pair of hairy balls on my chest.”
“Well, there’s that.” I chuckled, thinking back on last night. “But no, I mean it. You’re so incredibly beautiful.” I cupped her cheek with my hand, leaning in for a kiss.
“Aww.” Violet’s voice cut through the fog of lust. “You guys are too cute.”
Evan didn’t seem to think so, grumbling something under his breath that had me narrowing my eyes at him. My plan had been to ignore him entirely, but he was making it extremely difficult with his snide remarks.
“I can’t believe you won the stupid sweater contest again.” Brie pouted, and I knew she was trying to change the topic. So, I let her.
I smirked, leaning back to drape my arm over the couch as the Hallmark Christmas movie resumed playing. I’d only agreed to watch it because I knew it would make Brie happy. Violet seemed excited it was on, whispering with Evan about tiaras and weddings.
“Why is it so surprising?” I asked, doing my best to pretend they weren’t in the room. “If I want something, I don’t stop until I get it.” I was looking at her when I said it, but she was too busy to notice.
“I know. It’s one of the things I love most about you,” she said. Her curls curtained her face, and I silently cursed them for obstructing my view.
“So, kids—” Mrs. C burst into the room, decked out in a red sweater and matching lipstick. “Are you ready to have some fun?”
Evan huffed out a laugh as if the idea of “fun” were beneath him. Prick.
“What kind of fun?” Brie asked.
I had a few ideas for the two of us, but I figured it was best to keep those to myself. After I’d awoken to find her side of the bed empty, I wasn’t sure how receptive she’d be anyway. Still, I was going to take every opportunity to kiss her, touch her, to show her how amazing we could be together. Last night had only renewed my determination.
“There’s a new outdoor ice rink—on the rooftop of one of the buildings downtown.” Mrs. C grinned.
“That sounds amazing,” Brie said, and Violet nodded her agreement.
“I’m in.” I grabbed Brie’s hand and gave it a squeeze.
We broke up into two groups—Violet and Evan in one car with Mr. C. Brie and me with Mrs. C.
“I know I already said this last night,” Mrs. C said, meeting my eyes in the rearview mirror as she drove across town. “But I’m so happy for you two.”
“Thanks, Mrs. C.” I dipped my head, unable to meet her eyes as guilt churned through my gut. Mrs. C had been like a second mom to me, and I was lying to her face.
I was lying to her daughter’s too. But how could I possibly tell Brie how I felt about her? I was terrified of fucking this up—of losing her for good. And yet, I remained convinced that we were meant to be together. And not just as friends.
When we finally arrived at the ice rink and got out of the car, I couldn’t help but laugh. “Think you’re going to be warm enough?” I asked Brie as I watched her bundle up.
It was cooler today, and while I had on a sweater, she was decked out in a jacket, scarf, hat, and gloves.
She swatted at me, but I dodged her attempt. “It’s cold on the ice.”
I jogged over to her, wrapping my arms around her from behind as we teetered on the parking lot surface. This was us—we played, we teased, we touched.
“I’ll keep you warm.” The words were spoken low in her ear, intended just for her.
She laughed and pushed against me, but I didn’t let her go. I grabbed her hand before she could walk away, lacing our fingers together.
“Justin,” she hissed, glaring at me behind her mom’s back.
I smiled and gave her a peck on the cheek, grateful that Mrs. C seemed oblivious to our antics.
Everyone grabbed their skates, and I easily laced mine before turning to watch Brie. She seemed aggravated, muttering to herself as she yanked on the tongue, nearly toppling off the bench in the process.
I hadn’t heard her conversation with Violet this morning—not much of it anyway. But enough to believe they’d mended some fences. But with Evan constantly kissing Violet, I knew it had to be wearing on Brie. Even if she was over him, it couldn’t be easy to watch your ex with the woman he was going to marry.
I knelt to the ground before her, taking her laces in hand. Mr. and Mrs. C were already on the rink, dodging a pa
ck of kids who were laughing and squealing. Evan and Violet were out of earshot, too absorbed with each other anyway to notice anyone else.
“Are you upset about Evan and Violet?”
“No.” This she said through gritted teeth.
Instead of pushing her like I wanted to, I stood and held out my hands. She glanced at them and then up at me before standing on her own.
Okay. So, clearly, I’d done something to piss her off. While I replayed last night and this morning in my mind, she took off, dashing across the ice. I let her go, knowing she needed to let off some steam. Hell, I needed to let off some steam, but it was going to take more than an ice rink to cool me off.
Brie was…fuck, she was sexy. And having her writhing beneath me, moaning with pleasure as I kissed her senseless, had been even better than I’d imagined. But then she’d grown silent, withdrawing into herself.
While she’d slept, I’d stared at the ceiling for what felt like hours, wondering if I’d pushed too far, asked too much. Her body seemed to want me, but I didn’t just want her body. I wanted her heart. And with every day, every moment, that passed, I was running out of time.
That reminder snapped me out of it. And I sped over to where she was standing, back resting against the side of the rink.
“Tired already?” I teased.
She shook her head, and I followed her gaze to one of the banners across the street advertising a Christmas market.
“You want to go?” I asked, knowing how much she’d love something like that.
She shook her head but quickly said, “Yeah. But that’s not what I was looking at.”
I glanced a little higher and found an electronic sign with the word “Congratulations” written in huge letters. Below that was a woman—presumably, an author—proudly displaying the cover of her latest best-selling book.
I homed in on the book and blinked a few times. “Isn’t that your cover?”