That brought a chuckle from her, and it made me smile, despite the tension from a moment ago.
“Anyway, when I was reading my journal, there was a separate entry about my desire to find God and how I wanted to believe in Him but never felt worthy to be called His child. Did we ever talk about that?”
I shifted uncomfortably, not liking the direction of this conversation. “We did, actually…when we dated…but not while we were married.”
“What was the discussion?”
I hesitated and licked my lips, not really wanting to revisit one of our ongoing arguments from that time in our lives, but I had promised to answer anything she asked. “You started reading the Bible, and you had all these questions. You wanted us to go to church together, but I wasn’t interested. I said going on holidays was quite enough for me, and I refused to budge on the issue. After a while, you dropped it.”
“Oh.”
“We argued about it a few times, but I think you finally realized I wasn’t going to change my mind.”
“You came with me to the country church not that long ago.”
“Yes,” I said, hesitating, “but you were confused. You were trying to figure things out, and I thought it might trigger a memory.”
“So that’s all it was? A way to help me remember?”
“Yes.”
“What is your issue with God?”
The question was so direct it made me laugh. “I don’t have an issue with God.”
“Then why don’t you want to visit Him at church?”
I snickered. “It’s not like you can ‘visit’ God anywhere. Even going to church, He’s not going to materialize in front of you.”
“I understand that, but wouldn’t you like to learn more about Him? If He’s real, don’t you think it’s important we know that?”
“I…” I ran my hand over the back of my neck and swallowed. “Maybe. I don’t know.”
“As Prince of Calais, I think it’s your duty to find out.” She said it playfully, but I had the feeling she was serious about this.
“I tell you what, if you want to attend church, I’ll go with you, not because it’s something I particularly care about, but because I love you. If it’s this important to you, then I’ll make it important to me as well.”
“I didn’t think it would be that easy.”
“Why not?”
“I get the feeling you can be a very stubborn man at times.” She said it with a smile on her face, easing the force of that statement just a tad.
“Ha.”
“He agrees with me,” she said to herself, laughing. “I knew I was right on that one.”
“Yeah, I can be stubborn. Might as well admit it. It’s not like you haven’t figured it out.”
“There’s so much I don’t know about you, and I want to know everything, Edward. Your likes, your dreams, what makes you get up in the morning. What brings you pleasure, what makes you sad.”
As we neared a grove of trees in the distance, an idea came to me. “Why don’t we stop and have a picnic in that spot in front of the trees? We can play a game. You can ask me a question, and I get to ask one in return.”
“But I don’t know if I’ll be able to answer.”
“You don’t have to remember anything. I’ll ask things you can answer right now.”
“All right, it’s a deal.”
When we reached the trees, I stopped the carriage and helped Annette to the ground. We gathered the blankets and picnic basket and took it with us as we tramped over to a nice smooth area full of soft green grass. I laid out one of the blankets, and we sat down.
I pulled out sandwiches and fruit and two water bottles, and we ate for a while, enjoying the surrounding scenery. One of the attractions to Calais was the wild, untamed beauty of nature, and how green and lush everything was. We had complete privacy since my father didn’t allow anyone on these grounds unless they worked for him and had clearance to maintain the local gardens. We’d posted a security team along the perimeter so no one crossed the boundary unless they had permission.
After we finished the sandwiches and fruit, I gave Annette a miniature tart with raspberry filling, and I took one as well.
“So,” I said, biting into the tart and wiping the corner of my mouth. “You can ask a question first.”
“All right.” She chewed as she tilted her head and appeared to think about it. “I’d like to know what your dreams are. What do you want most?”
“That’s two questions, but since they’re related, I can answer that.” I ran a hand over my jaw and stared out at the vast land in front of me. “Maybe it’s because I grew up knowing I would be king, but I’ve always dreamed of being the type of man who cares for my people in such a way that they would know they are my priority. I want to make a difference in people’s lives. As far as what I want most, I would love to have an heir, a son or a daughter who shares this dream with me and will take my place one day.”
“You have a caring heart, Edward. I’ll be honest. I didn’t see it at first, but I do now.”
A lock of hair escaped her ponytail and blew in the cool breeze. I lifted it and smoothed it behind one ear. “Do you want to have children one day?”
“I assume that’s expected, right?”
“That’s not what I’m asking. I’d like to know if that’s what you want.”
“I don’t remember what I wanted.”
“Forget the past. I’m asking about right now.”
She stared off in the distance and lifted one shoulder. “I’m sorry, Edward. I just don’t know. But I am willing to have children. As far as if I’m looking forward to it, I really can’t say at this point.”
“That’s okay. I just thought I would ask.”
“My turn again.” She shifted, so she was right in front of me and could look me in the eye. “What makes you sad?”
I inhaled and let out a breath. We never talked about this kind of stuff, but it was good we were doing it now. We needed this connection—needed it more than anything else I could think of.
“It makes me sad to not be useful. I’m expected to be at parties and events and all kinds of ceremonies, but in the end, I prefer to be in the thick of things, helping my fellow man. That’s one thing I’ve always admired about you. You volunteered a lot, helped out with children’s charities and many good causes. I try to remain involved when I can, but sometimes it seems like my parents are constantly reining me in, telling me my duties lie elsewhere. That makes me sad.”
“When you’re king, you get to decide which duties to prioritize.”
“Yes, and I’m looking forward to that.” I smiled. “Okay, I get to ask you a question now.”
She bit down on her bottom lip as if worried she might not be able to answer, so I decided to throw out an easy one.
“Do you think I should keep my hair short like this? Or should I let it grow out longer?”
She laughed. “I didn’t expect you to ask that, but definitely short as it is. You look so distinguished and handsome.”
“You think I’m handsome?”
“I’m pretty sure you know that already.”
I wiped a hand over my face and chuckled, thinking about something from our past.
“What’s so funny?”
“I was just remembering when we were sixteen. I asked you that same question, and you refused to answer.”
“Why not?”
“You said I was too cocky for my own good, and if you took me down a peg, it might bruise my ego and the Prince of Calais needed to remain confident.” More laughter escaped as I leaned back on my arms. “You pretty much implied I wasn’t that attractive, and you didn’t want to hurt my feelings.”
“Really?” She looked horrified. “Are you just messing with me?”
“I’m not messing with you. Those were your exact words.”
“I can’t believe I said that.”
“You were the one person who didn’t grovel or try to get my att
ention. It was one of the reasons I was so drawn to you.”
“Well, I’m sure I thought you were attractive back then even if I didn’t say it.”
“Oh, I know. You thought I was hot.”
She swatted me on the shoulder. “Okay, let’s not go too far now. You may be older but you still need to keep that ego in check.”
I grinned so wide my lips couldn’t spread any further. “And you’re the one who’s going to do it?”
“If anyone should do it, it might as well be your wife.”
“That’s fine,” I said, running my fingers along a piece of her hair. “I’ll gladly submit to your authority in this area.”
“Oh, wow. You’re giving me the authority to keep you humble?”
“Think you can handle it?”
“Oh, I know I can.”
My eyes widened because the way she’d said that…it was just like the old days. “You’re still in there Annette. In many ways you’re different, but you’re still the same.”
Her expression grew serious. “I’m terrified I won’t remember. What if I never do, and I’m not the same woman you married?”
“Then I’ll enjoy getting to know the new you.”
“That’s sweet of you to say, but I’m afraid it won’t work out that way. What if I hold you back?”
“You could never hold me back. You steady me. You give me courage to go on.”
“I want to believe that.”
“It’s the truth, and I’m not going anywhere. Whatever the obstacles are, we’ll get through them together.”
She touched my arm lightly and smiled with appreciation. “Thank you.” And then an enormous smile took over her face. “I just thought of another question.”
“Go for it.”
“If you could have anything in the world, something you don’t already have, what would it be?”
I considered that for a moment. “This is going to sound cheesy.” I snickered and wiped a hand over my face, feeling my skin go hot.
“I want to hear it, anyway.”
“Okay, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
“All right, stop stalling. Let’s hear it.”
I licked my lips and glanced at the sky. “There was a time when you were madly in love with me.” As my eyes slid to her face, my heart began to pound ruthlessly. “I want that back.” I glanced down, not able to hold her gaze any longer. Maybe I shouldn’t have brought it up. She might feel like I was pressuring her to feel something she didn’t, and I didn’t want her pity. I let out a heavy breath, my chest rising and falling with the motion.
She didn’t say anything, but, instead, she stood up on her knees and moved closer. She wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me in tight. I encircled her waist and we held each other, and when it felt like it was time to let go, we clung to each other even harder.
Yep. This was the connection we needed.
Chapter 12
Annette
Edward was a different man from the one I’d been dealing with the past few weeks. Ever since I had the flu, something shifted between us. I wasn’t even sure why he’d changed, but I was thankful. For a while, it had seemed like he was angry with me, but it was as if he’d laid the ill feelings aside and was pursuing me all over again. Granted, I didn’t remember his pursuit all those years ago, but it felt nice to be the object of his affection now.
Really nice, in fact. As in…heart pounding, stomach fluttering, nice.
Okay, it was more than just nice.
When he looked at me with those intense eyes of his, it made me want to remember the relationship we had. I wanted that so badly, but it always seemed out of reach. If only my mind would cooperate and stop blocking me from whatever it wanted to hide.
“We’ll be there in about ten minutes.” Edward squeezed my hand and motioned for me to look out the window of the plane. The sun was rising, casting pinks and yellows and blues across the sky, warming my soul, giving me hope for the day ahead.
Maybe Victor Thibeau would share his insight on what happened with my mother. I’d written in my journal that I’d been suspicious of him, but I’d never stated any evidence indicating he was at fault. If there had been evidence, I’d kept it to myself and never written it down. Hopefully, talking to him would relieve my fears and heal whatever hurts I had regarding her death, or it might even trigger a memory. Perhaps I would finally find peace and be able to go back to my life, the one I shared with Edward, the one I so desperately wanted with him.
Edward traced a finger along my jaw and leaned in, kissing me on the cheek. The air felt charged around us, electric with promises of things to come. “What are you thinking?” His mouth lingered near my ear as if he wanted a real kiss but was waiting patiently for me to take it from him.
“I can’t remember,” I said, smiling. “You just distracted me.”
“Really?” He grinned, clearly enjoying the fact that he unnerved me in the most delicious way. “How am I distracting you?”
I turned to face him, so we were only inches away from each other. “When you lean in like that, it makes me want…”
“What do you want?” His eyes flared, and I didn’t bother to respond to the question, not when I could just show him.
I pressed my lips to his and reveled in the warmth of his soft lips against my own. When I pulled back, I smiled. “Does that answer your question?”
“Yes, it does.”
He started to move in closer when Roberto, the leader of our security team, walked up and cleared his throat. “Excuse me, Sir. I’m sorry to bother you, but I would like to go over a few details with you before the plane lands at Nice Côte d'Azur Airport.”
“Yes, of course.” Edward glanced at me, regretfully. “Excuse me for a few minutes.” He got up, and they walked to the back, discussing the specifics in lowered voices.
Not long after that, we landed, and after going through customs, we took two rental cars, one for Edward and me and two security officers, and a second car for the other members of the team. We were headed to the address Reginald Thompson had given me for a residence in Nice. I’d called Mr. Thompson before we’d left, and, unfortunately, he wasn’t able to locate a phone number for Mr. Thibeau, which both Edward and I found strange, but since this was all he had, we decided to check it out.
As we drove, it seemed as if the city of Nice was under a ray of light, the beautiful sandy beaches, deep blue ocean, and Mediterranean architecture glittering and luminous under the sun. It was a truly remarkable city.
“Do you remember any of this?” Edward asked.
“No. Should I?”
“We stopped here towards the end of our honeymoon.”
That got my attention. “Where else did we go?” Why hadn’t I asked that before?
“Rome. Venice. Barcelona. Paris.”
“That sounds like an amazing trip.”
“It was.” He glanced away, and I had the distinct feeling he was holding something back. My intuition told me if I pressed further, I might not like what I found, so I kept silent. That conversation would have to wait for another day.
We finally pulled up to a stone house with balcony views overlooking the ocean.
“This is it,” Roberto said, parking along the street. “Should I speak with Mr. Thibeau first?”
“No,” I said. “I want to see his reaction when he finds out who I am.”
“Very well. I will accompany you then.”
Edward and I got out of the car, and Roberto walked ahead of us to the front door. He knocked several times, and we all waited for someone to answer. There wasn’t a car in the driveway, but it could have been inside the garage. We stood there for a couple of minutes and then Roberto knocked again and rang the doorbell. No answer.
My stomach clenched, and an uneasy sensation washed over me. This was taking too long. Why was he not answering the door? The sooner I had answers, the sooner I could move on with my future. My life was a fractured puzzle, and I needed t
his piece in order to form the rest of the picture. Without it, I might not be able to heal.
“It appears he’s not home,” Edward said, squeezing my shoulder, seeming to sense my disappointment. “Why don’t we enjoy the day and come back in the evening? Surely, he’ll be home by then.”
I nodded, feeling antsy and impatient, the muscles in my back tightening from the pressure. It always seemed as if the answers I sought were cruelly withheld from me. Of course I understood that Mr. Thibeau didn’t know we were coming, but still… “Maybe we should just wait here so we won’t miss him.”
“Nonsense,” Edward said. “We’re in no hurry. We can stay the night if we have to. He’ll turn up, eventually. Let’s enjoy the day.” He gave me a hopeful smile and tapped me on the nose with a finger. “Petit a petit, l’oiseau fait son nid.” He paused and then shared the translation. “Little by little, the bird makes its nest.”
Despite my frustration that I couldn’t speak to Mr. Thibeau immediately, his statement made me smile. “Are we speaking in riddles now?”
“It simply means to have patience and perseverance. All will be well. Paris ne š'est pas fait en un jour. Paris was not made in a day.”
“You’re right. I need to relax, and we should enjoy ourselves.”
We headed to the car and once we were inside, Roberto glanced at us. “Where to next?”
“Le Suquet,” Edward said.
“Very good.” Roberto started the car, and we were off.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“It’s the old quarter in Cannes, dating back to Roman times. We’ll walk up a cobbled street to the top of a hill overlooking beautiful views, including a church and a castle…”
“That sounds amazing.”
Suddenly, any place with Edward seemed amazing. I didn’t care where we went, as long as we were together. He squeezed my shoulder, seeming to sense my mood shift. “Feeling better?”
“Yes. I was upset earlier, but I like the idea of spending the day with you in a city like this.”
“Good. Let it all go. We’ll find him. I promise.”
“Okay.” I perked up and smiled just the slightest bit.
The Prince's Bewildered Bride (The Blushing Brides Book 5) Page 11
