Not long after, we arrived at the old quarter and walked the streets, hand in hand, with a few security members trailing a slight distance behind. Edward informed me that most people outside of Calais wouldn’t recognize us since it was a small country, and that worked to our benefit today. We toured the castle built by monks, dating back to the twelfth century and then we stopped at the very top of the hill to see the Notre Dame de l’Esperance church, constructed in the style of a fortress during the sixteenth to seventeenth century AD.
Just as we were about to walk inside, a flash of something, a memory, flew by so fast I almost missed it. Edward and I were laughing and holding hands in this very spot, and then he leaned down and kissed me. The memory was only a few seconds, but it was there.
I tugged on Edward’s hand and stopped. “We were here before, holding hands, and you kissed me.”
“You remember that?”
I nodded. “That’s all I remember.”
He seemed pleased and almost wary at the same time. “We dropped by this church on our honeymoon. If you remember that, it will all come back to you, eventually.”
“Why do you have that look on your face? Aren’t you happy?”
“Yes, of course. I just…” He trailed off. “We have a new start, and I like that. But I also understand you want to remember your past. Not everything was pleasant but—”
“But I need to know. The good, the bad…all of it.”
He nodded with an uncertain expression, smoothing his hand around the side of my face lightly, like the touch of a feather. “Whatever comes back to you, I just hope you don’t forget what we have right now.”
“How could I forget this?” I put my hand over his. “What we have is real. I suspect it always was and always will be.”
He didn’t say anything, but he smiled, and I sensed he wanted to believe me but was worried about something.
After we saw the inside of the church, we walked outside and observed a man with graying hair handing out pamphlets. When he noticed us watching him, he approached, but Roberto intercepted and spoke to him in a low tone for a few minutes. The man nodded and walked away.
Roberto returned to us and handed the pamphlet to Edward. “He wants you to have this. He’s giving them out to anyone who is open to receiving it. Do you want to keep it or should I throw it in the trash?”
“I’m curious,” I said. “Let’s at least look at it.”
“All right,” Edward said, holding it up so we could both read it.
It was written in French, and I had no idea what it said, but Edward began to translate for me.
“Jésus est le chemin Qui nous mène droit vers le Père, C’est lui qui est la Vérité, il est la Vie.” He hesitated. “Paraphrasing, it says: Jesus is the way, leading to the Father. He is the Truth and the Life.”
We found a nearby bench, and he read the rest of the pamphlet to me, stopping when he came to John 3:16.
“Hey, I know that verse,” I said.
“You should. We heard it a bunch of times in church growing up. I know it from memory.” He hesitated, glancing up at the sky. “For God so loved the world, that He gave his only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.”
“You know it by memory, but do you believe it?” I smiled, feeling as if I’d just given him a riddle of my own.
His countenance shifted from interest to contemplation to a deep sadness that filled his eyes. “I used to.”
“Why don’t you believe it now?”
He was quiet for so long I started to think he wasn’t going to answer, and then he finally cleared his throat and leaned forward, staring down at the ground. “It’s difficult to go into.”
“You can tell me anything—I hope you know that. And if you don’t feel like talking—”
“It’s not that I don’t want to talk about it. I just don’t know how to explain.”
“Try,” I said. “I want to understand where you’re coming from.”
He blew out a breath, and his shoulders dropped forward a little as if feeling the weight of his emotion. “At one time, I thought Christ’s sacrifice was a beautiful thing, but I suppose I drifted off, and it wasn’t that I didn’t believe anymore…I just never made that belief a part of my life. Other things took precedence, and I guess I…forgot.” He continued to stare at the ground. “Or, to be more precise, I chose to forget. I didn’t want to be bothered.”
“What do you want now?”
He looked up and smiled slightly. “Good question. I’m not sure if I can answer that. What about you? What do you want?”
Despite the seriousness of the discussion, I smiled. “That is the question of the hour. I’m constantly asking myself what I want.” I shifted closer to him, and leaning my elbows on my knees, I rested my chin on my hands. “I’m on a path, but I don’t know where it’s headed. I’d like to go back to that country church though.”
Edward nodded. “We will…next Sunday for sure.”
When we finished touring the old quarter, we made our way to the coastline and sat in beach chairs on the sand, looking out at the ocean and enjoying the view. The breeze blew through our hair and caressed our faces. It would have been the perfect day except that Victor Thibeau was always in the back of my mind, causing a measure of anxiety as I worried about what he would eventually say about my mother. I was probably over thinking it, but it was hard to control the anticipation.
At one point, I felt someone’s eyes on us, so I turned around and my gaze collided with a man with dark hair, watching us closely near the sidewalk in front of the beach. Leo. Even from this distance, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that it was him. I sucked in a sharp breath, my heart pounding furiously in my chest. What was he doing here?
I turned to Edward, who was laying back in his chair, his head tilted up to the sun with a pair of sunglasses perched on his nose. “Edward,” I said, tapping his arm frantically. “Look who’s here.”
He glanced up and then turned to where I was pointing, but no one was there. I blinked. He was gone. Was I seeing things? Or had Leo really been there? Maybe it was a memory, but the idea of Leo and I coming here together…that definitely didn’t sit well with me.
“Who? Who did you see?” Edward asked.
I suddenly felt sick to my stomach. “I saw Leo.”
“What?” He straightened and motioned for Roberto to come closer. When he did, he whispered something to him and Roberto whistled and called over several guys. He sent them to search the surrounding area.
When we were alone again, I cleared my throat and looked at him with apprehension. “Could it be a coincidence? There’s no way he would have known our plans to come this weekend.”
Edward grimaced. “Maybe, but I don’t like it.”
I couldn’t bring myself to voice my fear that it might be a memory because that would mean… I shuddered, not wanting to go down that road.
After about an hour, a few of the security guys came back and reported that they couldn’t find him, and they’d divided up and looked everywhere within a mile radius. It was possible he’d gotten into his car and taken off, but they promised to keep an eye out for him from this point on.
Evening rolled around, and Edward brought us to an upscale restaurant overlooking the ocean. He requested a private room with a balcony, and, even though it was a little chilly, there was a heat lamp to keep us warm. The staff had decorated the space with tiny white lights, and the food was superb. Edward ordered steak au poivre, and I enjoyed the poulet au champagne. Everything from the ambience to the balmy air to the way Edward looked at me with tenderness in his eyes…it was all perfect.
Until I ruined the moment.
I put my fork down and leaned over the table, looking intently at Edward. “You said a few times that we’ve had our ups and downs, but you never said why. I want to understand. Why did we have problems?” Maybe I was so antsy from trying to figure out this Victor Thibeau thing that I’d jumped ahead
to tackle another issue I probably should have left alone. I knew there was a possibility Leo might come up, but I was so drained from walking around the subject that I couldn’t hold back anymore. We needed to deal with it.
Edward tightened his lips and stared down at his plate. “You really want to discuss that right now?”
“Yes. I need to know. I’m tired of being in the dark. You have no idea how difficult this is.”
Edward looked as if he would be sick. “It’s complicated.”
“Then untangle it for me.”
“You might not like what I have to say.”
“I think we’re past that. I need to understand.”
“Trust me, you don’t want this coming out right now. We’ve had a beautiful day. Can’t you let it go?” His eyes pleaded with me to let it rest, but I couldn’t.
I shook my head. “No. I can’t. I’m just so frustrated.” Tears sprung to my eyes, and I pressed fingers to my temples, willing myself to remember anything, but nothing came to me.
“We have an opportunity to start over, but once I share what happened, there will be no going back. It will be out there…between us.”
“Edward, I want a happy marriage with you, but I don’t know how we can if we ignore the past. What if the same thing happens again?”
“It won’t,” he said through clenched teeth. “I won’t let it.”
“Someone left a note for me the day we came back from the hospital,” I blurted.
His eyes widened. “What note? You never told me about that.”
I lowered my gaze and shifted uncomfortably in my seat. “At the time, I didn’t know if I could trust you.”
“Do you trust me now?” His voice was steady, his brows lifted up.
“Yes, I do. I know you wouldn’t hurt me. I sense that very strongly.”
“What did this note say?”
When I was quiet, he repeated himself. “Annette, tell me.”
“It said, ‘Edward never loved you. He wishes you were out of the picture so he could move on with his life.’”
He gaped at me. “You’re just now telling me this? That indicates a serious breach in our security. Whoever wrote that might want to hurt you.”
“You have to understand, you were a stranger to me and my life was in danger…or seemed to be. I thought maybe someone was trying to warn me that you weren’t safe.”
He took my hands and looked at me directly. “There isn’t a shred of truth to that statement. I hope you know that.”
“I wasn’t sure for a while, but I’m starting to see that you really do love me.”
“I do. So much.” He put his head in his hands and groaned. “This is so bad. Who would do such a thing?”
“I don’t know. I was hoping you would have an idea.”
“It’s someone who doesn’t want you to trust me. Someone who wants to divide us and weaken our marriage. There are a number of people who might want that.”
“Who? You don’t think your mother—”
“No. She might be a little prickly, but she would never do something like that.”
“Then who? Leo?” I didn’t want to bring his name up, but he was the most likely person to do something like that, and after seeing him at the beach, I hated to think what his plans were and if he’d followed us.
“Maybe.” The entire length of his jaw tightened. “But he would need access to our rooms in order to leave that note, and security made sure no one went upstairs during the ball or garden party.”
“He came to visit with Georgina once I was out of the hospital, but it was after I’d received the note. They didn’t stay long, but he said some things that upset me—”
“What did he say?”
My face heated, and shame wrapped its ugly claws around me. I had been the one to push this, so I couldn’t back down now. “He said we’d had a relationship after you and I got married.” I brought my eyes up to meet his gaze and flinched at what I saw. There was no surprise there. Not even an inkling of disbelief. He knew something, and the realization made me physically ill. “Edward.” It came out more like a groan or a plea for help. “Please tell me it’s not true.”
His forehead creased with lines that hadn’t been there before. “I never caught you in the act, but you distanced yourself from me almost as soon as we returned from our honeymoon. I barely saw you.”
“Why?” The strangled noise that came out of my mouth didn’t sound human. “Why would I do that Edward?”
“I don’t know.” His voice was quiet and infinitely sad. “I’ve been asking myself the same question over and over.”
“It’s possible what I saw at the beach was a memory, but I don’t want to believe Leo and I were here together…that I cheated on you.”
“Even if it is a memory, it couldn’t have happened while we were married. You never left Calais after the wedding, though you had asked to come to the French Riviera with your aunt, and I’m assuming that was to find Mr. Thibeau.” He let out a heavy breath and glanced down. “But if you were unfaithful…then…then I forgive you.” He reached out and put a hand underneath my chin, giving me a wobbly smile that wanted to be more but petered out.
Tears rolled down my face at the forgiveness he offered me, at his willingness to lay it all aside and continue to love me. It was more than I deserved.
Still, I didn’t want to believe I had cheated on him. “I can’t be certain, but I had a flashback at the ball when I was dancing with Leo. In that memory, I told him I loved you and couldn’t see him anymore because I planned on marrying you. That has to mean something.” I put my hands on my face and grimaced. “Of course, there was that moment when he said he would never let me go. That was a creepy thing to remember.”
A muscle in Edward’s jaw pulsed, and his face flushed red with anger. “Say no more. I’ll take care of it.” The way he said it sent chills down my back.
“Wait, what are you going to do?”
His eyes flashed, and he looked as if he were ready to bring about vengeance. “Let me worry about that.”
“Before you act rashly, you said there were others who could have left that note. We should try to figure this out—make sure we have the right person. Who else did you think of when I asked?”
He was quiet for a long moment as he appeared to consider. “Your sister, Georgina.”
“What?” It came out like a shriek. “Why would she do that?”
“Because she had feelings for me over the years. When we were younger, she had a breakdown because I only saw her as a friend. She even convinced you to break up with me at one point. She was able to get in your head, and it’s possible she thinks she can do it again. There was another thing.” He hesitated with a look of distaste on his face. “Right before the ball, Georgina had a small gathering at her home, and she invited Helena into her room. Helena told me she saw an album with numerous pictures of me.”
I had to stand up in order to breathe. “You should have told me that.”
“I know. A part of me felt guilty because I don’t like Georgina, but I knew how much you loved her. I didn’t want to cause a rift between you when you were still trying to reconnect.”
I turned to him, feeling almost desperate because I didn’t want my sister to be the one who did this. “Who else Edward? Who else did you think of?”
“No one specifically. It could be one of the staff. Someone who has an ax to grind.”
“How are we supposed to figure this out?”
“Did you keep the note?”
“No. I ripped it up and threw it away.”
“That’s unfortunate. We’ll continue to think on it and see what we come up with.”
“There was also a second note.” I winced, knowing I should have brought it up sooner. “A man handed it to me at the ball. It said I didn’t deserve to be with a prince, that I betrayed you and would pay for it very soon.” I shared the rest of the details, feeling goosebumps form on the back of my neck as I did.
&n
bsp; He stood and began to pace. “This is not good. We have to deal with this, the sooner the better.”
“I know.”
He took both of my hands in his own and brought his gaze to mine. “I think it’s time we join forces. From this point on, I promise that I will not hold any secrets from you. I will not let anyone divide us.”
“And I promise the same. No more secrets.”
“We’ll find who’s doing this. I won’t rest until we do.” He leaned in and kissed me, and then we ate the rest of our dinner. I felt more at ease knowing Edward hadn’t rejected me even after I’d laid everything out on the table. He loved me, and although I didn’t remember much about our past, I was falling hard for him all over again. If only I could prove to myself and to him that there had been no affair with Leo. I remembered my journal and how I hadn’t finished reading it. When we returned home, that would be my number one priority.
After dinner, we went back to Victor Thibeau’s residence. This time there was a car in the driveway, and when we knocked on the door, a woman answered.
“Bonsoir,” she said, looking at us with curiosity.
Edward conversed with her in French for several minutes, and then he finally turned to me. “She says she just moved here a month ago but doesn’t remember the name of the previous owner.”
“Oh, I see.” Disappointment welled up in me as all my hopes crashed down upon my shoulders. “I should have known this would be a dead end.”
“Don’t worry, we’ll find him.”
Edward bid the woman good night, and we got back in the car and headed to the airport. That ache returned, the one I felt whenever my mother’s name came up. Edward seemed to sense that because he put his arm around me and drew me into his side. We stayed like that the entire trip back to Calais. I sensed a closeness with him that I hadn’t had before, now that we had opened up to each other. At the very core of my being, I knew he had our best interest at heart.
The purpose of the trip may have failed, but at least we had an understanding. There would be no more secrets, and we would not let anyone divide us ever again.
Chapter 13
The Prince's Bewildered Bride (The Blushing Brides Book 5) Page 12
