by Katee Robert
No, it’s not complicated. I can’t let it be complicated.
It doesn’t matter if what happened in this bed with Shiloh felt so fucking right, I can barely put it into words. It doesn’t matter that having Monroe in my corner and aligned in my purpose was practically magic. At the end of this handfasting, I will still be glad to send her back to her faction for good.
Shiloh crosses her arms over her chest, which is doing a number on my ability to pretend we’re not all sitting here naked. “Maybe I came to this bed for you. And Broderick was fucking you. One could argue that we’re only attracted to you, not each other.”
“There you go with that lying mouth again.” Monroe sighs, but it’s almost mock exasperation in her tone. “I ought to wrap it around Broderick’s cock and see who’s attracted to who at that point.”
The air in the room gains a thickness and heat that makes me achingly aware of each inhale. “You can’t say shit like that.”
“And yet I just did.” She shakes her head. “Fine. Have it your way, you stubborn asses. You can both fuck me, sometimes together, and keep it at that. Are you happy?”
No. Of course not. I want Shiloh in every way, but I can recognize it for the selfish desire it is. If I use this situation to take advantage of things, I’ll be worse than a fucking monster. It takes everything I have to lock down my emotions and keep them out of my voice. “If that’s what Shiloh wants.”
“It’s the smart thing to do.” She slides off the bed, and I watch helplessly as she bends to grab the oversized sleep shirt off the floor.
I would give my right arm for good light to see her properly in this moment. To trace the curves and slopes of her naked body with my gaze in a way I’m not permitted to with my hands. Then again, maybe it’s for the best. Wanting Shiloh is one thing when we’re very clearly defined as friends. This thing with Monroe smudges those lines by definition. No need to erase them completely.
Shiloh pulls the shirt over her head and hurries to the couch. It a rush of motion, she yanks on her pants and practically dives beneath the covers. “Good night.”
“Good night,” I respond automatically.
No reason for the yawning feeling akin to loss in my chest. No good reason, at least. Of course, Shiloh wants to preserve what little distance she can between us. Of course, she wouldn’t want to share a bed with me for something as intimate as sleeping.
Of course.
A light touch to the center of my chest. I look down to find Monroe watching me. Her teeth flash in the low light, and she climbs onto her knees to whisper in my ear, “Have faith, husband.”
“I’m not your husband.” I’ve said it so many times, the response is more habit than anything else.
She twines her arms around my neck and presses a quick kiss to my cheek. She’s gone before I can decide if I want to welcome the contact or not, moving to her side of the bed and sliding beneath the covers.
Have faith.
In what? What is Monroe’s motivation for doing all this? That, more than anything, confuses me. I believe her attraction to Shiloh is genuine, and she seems to actually care for my best friend as well. Feelings that are mutual between both women as best I can tell.
But Monroe hates me. She has every reason to. Us colliding sexually a handful of times doesn’t change the fact that she’s been handfasted to me against her will. No matter what her motivations are now, she initially sought out Shiloh to hurt me.
I can’t trust her.
No matter how good the sex. No matter how perfect it felt to have our wills aligned instead of in conflict. No matter how much we both seem to want Shiloh.
Trusting Monroe is playing directly into her hands.
Chapter 18
Monroe
Shiloh is gone when I wake up the next morning. That doesn’t surprise me. The fact that Broderick is still in the room, however, does. He sits on the edge of the bed, his hair wet from the shower, and looks at me. “We have to work together.”
“To seduce Shiloh, yes.” I answer too quickly, maybe, but I don’t know how to deal with this newfound peace between us. It feels strange and fragile and I kind of want to smash it with a hammer so at least I know when to expect it to explode in my face.
He snorts. “Get your mind out of the gutter, Monroe. I meant what I said last night—you’re in danger if we can’t get our shit ironed out.”
Ah. That.
I sit up, letting the sheet fall to my waist, and can’t help the shiver of pleasure that goes through me when his attention drops to my breasts…and stays there. It would be the simplest thing in the world to provoke him, to seduce him, to stop this conversation in its tracks.
I am stronger than that weak impulse. I have to be.
I also can’t afford to ignore Broderick reaching out a hand, no matter how reluctantly.
With a sigh, I drag the sheet back up to cover myself and am saint enough to ignore the way his skin goes red in response. Still, I can’t help poking at him, just a little. “One would think you’d be grateful someone else was willing to get rid of me. It’d take care of your little problem so you don’t have to.”
“I don’t want you dead.” The words are so soft, I almost convince myself I imagined them.
“Why not?” Maybe I’m not that smart, after all. This conversation stings in ways I’m not prepared to examine, but I can’t stop prodding the wound. “I’m a pain in your ass. When you’re around me, you constantly act in ways you claim aren’t normal for you, and you hate that. I seduced the woman you’re in love with right under your nose and then flaunted it in your face.”
He clenches his jaw like he’s biting down on a bunch of words that would send us spiraling. Finally, he grinds out. “I don’t like you overmuch, but it took two of us to get to this place. I’m not blameless and you don’t deserve to die just because you’re a pain in my ass.”
Of course he doesn’t like me. I don’t like him overmuch, either. No reason for that to worm beneath my skin and eat away at me. I clear my throat. “Okay, I’ll bite. What’s your plan?”
“We spend some time together.” He catches my look. “We don’t have to keep sleeping together, but—”
“Broderick.”
“Yeah?”
I smother the strange fluttering in my throat. “I like fucking you. I don’t think I’m overstating things saying that you like fucking me, too.”
He stares at me, hard. “No, you’re not overstating things.”
“Then there’s no reason to stop.” I don’t mention Shiloh, but the possibility of her is between us all the same. Did he get off even harder last night because we were working together to get her off? I’m suddenly afraid to ask, afraid it was all in my head. It felt so good to team up with him. So good it scares me a little bit. I’ve seen this man as an opponent for so long, I don’t know how to work with him as a partner. At least outside the bedroom.
Broderick is silent for a long moment. Finally, he says, “No, there’s no reason to stop.”
I don’t breathe a sigh of relief. I have too much control for that. But… I want to. “Okay.”
“Okay.”
We sit for a long moment, long enough that things begin to feel awkward. I clear my throat. “Now that that’s out of the way, I suppose you want us to be seen together in public?”
“Yeah.”
I think about my plan last night, how well it worked. How much all three of us enjoyed ourselves. Shiloh might have rabbited out of here the first chance she got, but that doesn’t mean we have to backslide. Especially if Broderick and I are on the same page. That is such a strange concept, I’m still having a hard time wrapping my head around it. I tap my fingers to my bottom lip. “Can I ask you a question?”
Some of the tension that bled out of his shoulders previously courses back in. “I might not answer. But sure, go ahead and ask.”
Oh, I think he will answer. I hold his gaze, searching those pretty, blue eyes. “We both know you want Shiloh.
”
I can see the exact moment he decides to stop attempting to lie to me about it. He relaxes back against the bed next to me. “I guess there’s no point in denying it. You had my number down within an hour of meeting me.”
I smile a little. “Only part of it. You’re just so obvious when you look at her. I’m honestly surprised you don’t have literal hearts in your eyes. It’s cute.”
“Uh huh.” He nudges me with his elbow. “And you don’t? You go all soft and sugary sweet with her. You’re not like that with anyone else.”
He’s right. I might provoke Shiloh a bit, but she brings out a softer side of me. I grin down at him. It strikes me that we’re having yet another civil conversation, but this time I don’t point it out. “She’s been with you, what, seven years? How have you not gotten drunk and tried to kiss her even once? I don’t understand that level of restraint.”
Broderick shrugs. “We’re friends. I value that more than anything. I might have been fucking things up since we got back to Sabine Valley, but she’s too important to me to mess things up with sex.” His expression clouds. “It doesn’t matter what I want. She’s obviously not on the same page. I don’t want to make her uncomfortable.”
That draws a laugh from me before I can stifle the sound. “Broderick, she was coming all over your fingers a few hours ago. She might pretend that it was me causing that, but we both know the truth.”
“Do we?”
The vulnerability in his tone is a pressure point I should leap to exploit. Shiloh has always been Broderick’s weakness; it’s why I zeroed in on her from the beginning. My mother might not have tasked me with destabilizing the Paine brothers in whatever way I can safely manage, but it’s the smart thing to do. Broderick is Abel’s second-in-command. He’s softer than some of his brothers, but that doesn’t make him less formidable. If not for Shiloh, I doubt I’d have gotten to him so quickly.
But a selfish part of me wants what we had last night. I want more of it. I want the high of us working together and putting both our formidable wills toward one goal.
Not to mention…I’m hesitant to do anything that might hurt Shiloh or put her in harm’s way.
Destabilizing the Paine brothers—and the Raider faction, by extension—would potentially hurt Shiloh. Not just if something happens to Broderick. I’ve seen her fight. If it comes to a conflict, she’ll be on the front lines. She might be good, but she’s no Amazon. If our factions go to war, she’ll be harmed or even killed.
I really am a fool, because I smile at my temporary husband and speak the truth that seals my fate. Seals all our fates together into one braided knot. “She wouldn’t be so skittish if she didn’t want you. She wouldn’t have been fucking herself with her fingers and pretending it was your cock, and she wouldn’t have nearly come on the spot when you kissed me after I ate her out. So, yeah, Broderick, it’s safe to say she wants you.”
He narrows his eyes, but he’s not a good enough liar to hide the hope my words bring to life. “You’re sure.”
Gods, how can this man be so clever in some ways and also so determined to ignore the truth right in front of his face? “I’d bet my life on it.”
He weighs that for a long moment. “You have a point.”
“In fact, I do.” I fling off the blankets and get to my feet. I’m vain enough to love the way he follows me with his gaze as I round the mattress and head for the bathroom. I stop in the doorway, knowing full well that the light frames me from the back, creating one hell of an image. “My point, dear husband, is that we’re going to seduce our sexy little Shiloh. Together.”
He goes perfectly still. “How the fuck are we going to manage that?”
We.
He says it so easily, as if us teaming up isn’t strange and borderline unnatural. Did it feel as good, as right, for him last night as it did for me? I grin. “Well, to start, you’re going to be the one to pick us up after I’m done working. Then we’re going to take our girl out for a drink and have a little fun.”
“A little fun,” he says slowly. “Monroe, has anyone ever told you that you’re fucking terrifying?”
“Only every day that ends in a Y.” I pause. This should be where I end it, but I can’t help the question that bubbles up. “You’re really going to trust me in this?”
“Consider it was you who got her into bed with us last night, I do.” Now it’s his turn to pause. “I know you care about her, so I don’t think this has to be said, but I don’t want her to do anything she doesn’t want to. I don’t want to pressure her.”
Oh, this sweet man. He makes me want to muddy him right up. “You’re right. I do care about her and I’d never pressure her into anything. We’re not going to do anything but give her a taste of what it would be like to close this triangle, so to speak.”
“Ah.”
I walk slowly to him, putting a little sway in my hips. “Would you like to know how I plan to do that?”
“Yes,” he says warily.
“You’re going to seduce her by proxy.” I wave at my body, fully enjoying the way his gaze follows the sweep of my hand. “I’m your proxy.”
“Monroe—”
“Walk and talk, husband. I have to get ready.” I turn on my heel and head into the bathroom. Broderick, of course, follows me. He’s so damn sexy as he leans against the counter and watches me get the shower going. A wave of remembered pleasure goes through me just from being in the same room as him. I’d say it’s a shame we don’t get along this well normally, but the truth is that conflict adds to the spice.
We were getting along last night.
We’re getting along right now.
I step beneath the water before I can follow that thought anywhere. It doesn’t matter if it feels good to be aligned in purpose. He’s not for me. Fuck, Shiloh isn’t for me, either. It’s going to be everything I can do to avoid a war at the end of this year. I don’t have time for two sexy, high-maintenance partners. Not that either of them are jumping at the idea of being linked to me permanently. They aren’t.
The Amazons aren’t like the Mystics. Political marriages are rare, especially with other factions. Any outsider who marries into the Amazons has a long road ahead of them. It’s not that we ostracize outsiders; more that we simply don’t hand over power that isn’t earned. Even then, whoever I end up with won’t be an equal in the eyes of the faction. I will always be queen, they will always be consort.
Why am I thinking about this now?
I wash my hair and body quickly, keenly aware of Broderick’s gaze on me. The sensation only gets stronger when I turn off the water and grab a towel. We’re long past any point of modesty, and I’m hardly a shy person on my best day, so I don’t bother to try and cover up as I dry off. I also don’t put on a show, either.
We don’t have time to get into it right now, not if I don’t want to be late.
“I’d like more details,” he finally says. “If you’re willing to share them.”
“Sure.” I head out of the bathroom and into the walk-in closet, him trailing behind. I managed to get a decent amount of my clothing brought here the first week, so I have plenty to choose from. I flip through the options. “We’re going to go get a drink somewhere nice and shadowy, with booths or a private back room. And then you’re going to sit across from us and use that stern voice of yours to dictate how I touch Shiloh.”
“I don’t have a stern voice.”
I flick my fingertips in his direction. “You’re using it right now.”
“Monroe.”
I sigh and turn to face him. “Broderick, why are you questioning this so hard? Tell me it’s not sexy as fuck to think about sitting there watching me slide my hand down Shiloh’s jeans and get her off on your instructions.”
He frowns and shifts, trying to subtly adjust the front of his pants. “Yeah, it’s hot.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“I still don’t get why you’re doing this.”
I fina
lly land on a green dress that does wonders for my eyes. I slide into it and walk to Broderick to present my back. “Zip me up.”
He hesitates, and then there’s the slightest tug of the zipper. I don’t expect him to touch me. Broderick coasts a knuckle up my spine, a slow drag that has my skin breaking out in goose bumps. He fastens the little button at the top but doesn’t remove his hand. Instead, he slides it around to bracket my throat and steps forward to press against my back. “Are you playing tricks, Bride?”
“Only sexy ones.” I can’t quite draw in a full breath. I’m don’t have a submissive bone in my body, but I’m still fighting not to shake from this touch alone. There’s nothing I love more than a good man gone feral, and Broderick’s leash snaps every time he gets his hands on me.
He lowers his voice. “Shiloh likes watching us fuck.”
It takes me two tries to find my words. “I would think that’s obvious after last night.”
“Two birds, one stone,” he murmurs. “I can’t fucking wait to get inside you again. You make me lose myself, but it feels too good to stop.” He curses. “I want you right now. Want to shove up this tease of a dress and fill you up with me. Have you walking around Amazon headquarters with a Paine brother dripping down your thighs.”
My whole body clenches in response. “Filthy boy.”
“You have no fucking idea. I don’t recognize myself when I’m with you.”
I don’t intend to roll my hips, to rub my ass against his erection. It’s an involuntary response to the rough promise in his voice. “Maybe that’s a good thing.”
“Only time will tell.” His free hand comes around to press against my mound through my dress. “I have an edit to your plan.”
I bite my bottom lip. “I’m open to suggestions.”
“When you coax Shiloh’s jeans open and slip your hand inside…” He presses the heel of his hand hard against my clit, dragging it up and down in a tortuously good rhythm. “You’re going to be riding my cock when you do. Think I can make you come before you make her come?”
