Sweet Love

by Lolah Lace

  I’d only heard of the restaurant Nobu. When we stepped inside it didn’t disappoint. The place was decorated for a party. There were balloons in every corner and covering the ceiling. This was my first album release party. I had to distance myself from Jagger and we couldn’t hold hands or show any affection. It wouldn’t be a problem for me. I expected it. I was prepared for social distancing.

  After thirty minutes of mingling, I grabbed myself a drink of white wine. I scanned the room and I saw a few young actors and actresses. I spotted a young British guy from a Marvel movie. There were a few people I recognized in the music industry. I spotted a judge from The Voice but I couldn’t remember his name. I eyed a few supermodels but they were too young for me to remember their names. I knew their faces but that was only because they were the offspring of famous parents that were in my age range.

  I took a sip from my wine glass and made my way to a table that Jagger had reserved for us. I sat alone hoping no one would try to talk to me. The skimpy short dress had a lot a male eyes gawking in my direction.

  I wanted to finish my glass of wine to loosen me up before I mingled. I didn’t think I fit in here but if someone asked what I did for a living I could say I was an editor. Maybe they would think it was for a fashion magazine and I would be considered cool. I hadn’t finished my wine when Jagger’s manager made his way over to the table. Glynn smiled down at me before he sat next to me without an invitation.

  “Are you enjoying yourself?”

  “It’s nice.” That was the truth. The party was nice, lots of beautiful people dressed in expensive clothes, smiling, chatting and looking flawless. Absolutely no one in this room woke up like this. They had to work to look this way, me included.

  “These industry functions are boring and a bit of a show.”

  “It’s fine,” I assured him.

  “You guys were out all day.” Oh, so he noticed we fled the compound. I giggled to myself.

  “We were out.” I smiled. I didn’t want to share anything with Glynn about Jagger and me. I didn’t know if I could trust him.

  “Where’d you guys go?”

  “Ask Jagger.” I snapped in three syllables. I reigned myself in. “I’m sure he’s dying to tell you.”

  “Oh, I will. I will. I wasn’t trying to pry.”

  “I know, I know. It’s just I know how to keep my mouth shut without signing an NDA.” I gave him the side-eye.

  “Just doing my job.” He shook his head up and down before he showed me all his teeth. “You know what? I like you. I get it now. I understand why Jagger is infatuated. You’re not just pretty on the outside. You’re witty and smart and he says you’re into books.”

  “Nothing wrong with being witty, smart and into books.” I know good and goddamn well he knew I was a book editor. Of course there was a background check done on me.

  “Nothing at all. I thought you two would’ve gone your separate ways after Galena. With the age difference, I just thought he was having a crisis.” Goofy Glynn was trying to be funny but I was going to keep it cute.

  “A crisis?”

  “You know about his mother, right?”

  “I know she died. I’m not sure what that has to do with me.”

  “Well, nothing I suppose.” He shrugged.

  I was getting tired of strangers bringing my age into the conversation like they had some right.

  “Look, Katrina, I have nothing against you at all. I think you’re good for our boy. I don’t know if he would’ve stayed clean way out there in Podunk town USA without you. And yeah, the age thing jumped into my mind. I was thinking he was having some mommy issues. I mean who doesn’t have them. My wife is ten years younger than me. She married me because she has daddy issues. It’s not like I look like Channing Tatum. I’m nothing special.”

  Something inside me bubbled to the surface of my skin. I felt the residual sting of my tattoo. I turned my entire body toward Glynn. I wanted to tell him all the way off. I looked over his shoulder and I caught Jagger’s eye. He was talking to a record executive. I couldn’t remember the guy’s name.

  I didn’t have to speak for Jagger to read me. My handsome guy cut through the dense crowd and made his way toward Glynn and me.

  “Have you had too much to drink?” I asked Glynn before Jagger could reach us.

  “No, why do you say that?”

  “You just told me your wife has daddy issues.”

  Just then Jagger tapped Glynn on his shoulder. “Glynn, are you talking my girl’s ear off?” Jagger bent down in the space between his manager and me.

  “Y, ye, yes, yes I am.” Glynn stammered. He was caught off guard by Jagger’s stealthy approach. Six foot four and he moved like a leopard.

  “Glynn, you know you’re a trifle bit of a bore.”

  “I admit. I am.” Glynn tried desperately to recover. “I’m going to go over and bore the shit out the head of A & R.”

  “Sounds like a bloody good plan. He probably needs some new talent. You’re always on the lookout for a hot new artist.”

  “Of which I have none. Time for me to mingle.”

  We both watched Glynn scurry off like a rat, a rat with good intentions I suppose. He was the one that made sure Jagger stayed clean. He was also the one that and forced Jagger into rehab in Galena. I probably should like that man. But the jury was out on Glynn Ross.

  “Babe, how are you doing? Do you hate all these people yet?”

  “No, not yet.” God, this man’s smile was contagious. His eyes were alluring. I had so much desire for him. Funny, it seemed like he had just as much for me.

  “You’re a bloody trooper. I wish I could kiss you right now. I literally want to unwrap you like a piece of candy and lick you.”

  “Don’t start a scandal. It will take away from the album’s release.”

  “Yes, that’s true. Maybe I can find a coat closet and we could have a dirty shag on some musky over-priced vintage trench.”

  I giggled. “Or we could wait for this to end, go back to the house, and I could fuck your face.”

  His top lip curled. “I like your plan significantly better.”

  “You do.” I licked my lips.

  “Certainly.” He leaned in close to me. “Open your legs.”

  “What?”

  “Open. There’s a tablecloth. No one can see.”

  I uncrossed my legs and opened my knees about four inches. “There, my legs are open.”

  Jagger leaned toward the table and placed one of his hands in his lap. That hand went right in between my thighs. I felt one of his fingers swipe my thong to the side like my vagina was an iPhone screen. His solo finger entered me. He held my gaze with his mischievous coffee-colored eyes. He twirled his finger inside me and stimulated my juices. I licked my lips again and tried to hold it together. I couldn’t believe how I instantly got wet just for him.

  “I found your naughty bits.” He winked at me.

  I caught my breath as he slipped his finger out of me. He placed his soiled finger up to his face to thoroughly inspect. I thought he’d wipe his finger with one of the napkins on the table but he lifted it to his nose, inhaled it, and rubbed it into his nostrils.

  I was shocked me because I didn’t see that coming. He sniffed my fluid up his nose like it was cocaine. It was sexy and frightening all at the same time.

  “Babe.” He pinched his nostrils quickly with his fingers just like the drug dealers did in movies when they were testing the product.

  I closed my open mouth. “Yeah.”

  “When they roll this bloody cake out and sing the birthday song I have to do this birthday thing.”

  “Yeah, I know.”

  “Someone is going to give me a glass of champagne. They’ll be a toast. I’ll take one sip and hand it over to you.”

  “Can you do that? Can you have a drink?” My heart started beating fast. I’d never seen Jagger have a drink of alcohol. It was a forbidden thing. But I wasn’t too sure.

  “Babe
, don’t look worried. One sip isn’t going to make me relapse. Champagne isn’t smack.”

  I had to remind myself that smack was heroin. “Are you sure?”

  “Of course, I’m sure. I have to fake it for the cameras, for all these people. I’m a perfect lead singer in a perfect boy band. I’m turning twenty-one. In the states I’m legal. I have to put on a proper show.”

  “I don’t–” I started to protest.

  “Babe, one sip. I’ll give the glass to you, then I do a little speech and hopefully, this shindig will be over soon after.”

  “Okay.” That was a lot for me to unpack. He just couldn’t slip back into his addiction. I would lose him. He would lose me. Inevitably I would be the one they would blame.

  “Babe, don’t look so glum. Trust me.”

  “I do trust you.”

  “I look forward to you fucking my face. I’m not going to fuck that up.”Jagger smiled with his entire face and I believed him.

  Matt the super-assistant was making a beeline straight toward us. For a guy with the night off, he sure looked like he was working.

  “Mr. Adkin’s sorry to bother you but the photographer wants a picture of Toxic Shock over by the ice sculpture.”

  “Thanks, Matt. Duty calls.” Jagger stood.

  “I’ll stay with Ms. Sweet.” Matt gracefully scooted into the chair beside me.

  Jagger looked down at both of us before he walked away.

  “So, Katrina how are you tonight?”

  “I’m good.”

  “I saw your gift. Jagger loved it. Your gift is by far the best thing he’ll get this year.”

  “Wait. Do you know what I got him?”

  “Yes, the sweet kisses tattoo. If my name was sweet I would’ve had the word tattooed on ten guys before I turned twenty-one. Mr. Adkins loved it.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes, I not telling anyone about the gift. I’m a professional. I signed an NDA. Your affiliation is covered in the fine print. I would never disclose anything you told me.”

  “No, no, I didn’t think that. I’m just happy he liked the tat. I know I was told not to get him anything but for my birthday he gave me— ” I stopped my big ass mouth from running off.

  “The Benz truck. Did you like it?”

  Oh, he knows about it. Why did I think he wouldn’t? “Yes, I love it.”

  “I don’t want to say too much but you’re the first real girlfriend. So it’s nice finally pulling things for a woman.”

  “Pulling?”

  “You know like pulling the clothes off the rack.”

  “I appreciate you doing that for me. I appreciate all the things, you know setting the trip up, just everything.”

  “Oh my God Sweetie, it’s my job. I love this job. Mr. Adkins is pretty decent for a boss. I work for Jagger, not the record company.”

  I’m not sure why he was telling me this but it was something he wanted me to know. Maybe he was just letting me know where his loyalties lie. They seemed to be with Jagger, and that was nice to hear.

  The night went better than I imagined. Matt and his boyfriend chatted me up most of the night. Winston came by to look glum and uninterested. He sat next to me and didn’t even talk to me. He was an odd brother.

  A few men were bold enough to hit on me. I think it was because they saw Jagger talking to me and that raised my stock. Matt chased all my gentleman callers away. I was grateful he was there to fend off these people. I wasn’t used to industry people. I also wasn’t used to this lifestyle.

  Jagger did exactly what he said. He made a toast. Drink from his champagne flute and handed his glass to me. Why was I even worried?

  Chapter 28

  KATRINA

  Two weeks later Jagger hopped a private jet to see me. He could only be with me for a couple of days. Practicing for his upcoming tour was taking up almost all of his time. I went out to the store for dinner. I didn’t want to leave but Jagger wasn’t clingy or needy. He wanted me to go about my daily life. He told me he just liked being near me. I felt the same way about him.

  While I was making dinner in the kitchen I heard him working on a song in the living room. His voice was pure magic. He played the guitar like he was born with it in his hands. The melody called to me. I couldn’t help myself. I left the kitchen and peeked around the corner to hear his harmonious voice. I could listen undetected because his eyes were closed when he was singing.

  When we are together

  I think it means forever

  Nothing is better than you

  Nothing else will ever do

  When I look into your eyes

  My whole heart just comes alive

  No one gets me but you

  No one loves me like you do

  He strummed the guitar and I could see he was being carried away with the music. He suddenly opened his eyes and was staring right at me.

  “Hey, love. Come here.” He waved me over with his hand.

  “No, I don’t want to interrupt you.”

  “No, never, come, sit.”

  “Where?”

  “On my lap, of course.” He carefully placed his guitar against the wall.

  I walked into the room and sat across his lap. He wrapped his arms around me. In his arms was the safest place for me. I wanted this feeling to last for as long as possible.

  “Babe.”

  “Yes.” I ran my hands through his disheveled hair.

  “We need to have a serious conversation.”

  “Noooooo,” I whined. I loved living in our relaxed bubble.

  “Yes, it’s time. I’ve joked about it before but now I want to have a serious conversation.”

  “Okay, what are we seriously talking about?” I kissed the side of his head right near his temple. He moved his face so our lips could lock. “I love Jag kisses.”

  “I need you to love Jag kisses and all my bloody ideas.”

  “You have an idea?”

  “Yes, a really grand idea.”

  “Stop stalling. What? Tell me?” I pressured him to spill it.

  “I want a baby with you.”

  I stopped breathing because that wasn’t even close to a thought I had in my brain, not the right part or the left part, or the medulla oblongata. I would’ve leaped from his lap if he weren’t holding me so tight.

  “Say something.” He ordered a response but I couldn’t speak.

  “I don’t know what to say.” I could’ve kept that to myself. It didn’t convey anything at all. It left us right back to the baby question. Was it a question?

  “Kat, I need you to say something.”

  I pried his hands from my body and stood. I walked away, not far away but far enough that I didn’t have to smell his intoxicating scent.

  “This is what I have to say.” I wanted to compose my words in a way that wouldn’t be offensive. “I don’t understand where this is coming from. I have two kids. My youngest is sixteen. You know how old I am?”

  “How many times do I have to say that I don’t care about your age?”

  “You should care. You’re twenty-one.”

  “I’m not supposed to want my own family?”

  His point was valid. I wanted him to have what he wanted in this life and the next but I just didn’t see how he could have that with me. “I thought we were having fun.”

  “So you are using me for fun?”

  “Of course not. You know how I feel about you. You know I didn’t mean it like that.”

  “I’m an only child. I have no siblings. Both of my parents are dead. I have no family of my own. You are all I have.”

  “I know you told me to stop saying this but— Jagger, I’m old.”

  “I knew you would say that.” He stood and that just made matters worse. When I had to look up at him I felt like the twenty-one-year-old.

  “I don’t think you’ve thought this through. I can understand why you would want this, but being a parent isn’t something that you can just toss in the air and ho
pe you catch it.”

  “I don’t understand that reference. But I’ve wanted this for quite a while. I didn’t say anything because I was afraid you’d fucking dump me. You told me you would never marry again. So frankly, I had to deal with that. I love you and marriage is off the table because your fucking ex-husband turned that option off for me. I love you. I’m in love with you. I want you to be the mother of my children.”

  Children? He said baby, one baby. I’m not crazy I heard ‘A’ as in one. Now, this man is saying children. I looked over at him and realized that I was pacing. Why would he do this to me? Everything was going so great minus his rude bandmate and his creepy manager.

  I went to speak but words didn’t come out. Finally, I had some. “Jagger, I wasn’t prepared for this.”

  Jagger was judging me. “Are you breaking up with me because I want a baby?”

  “Jagger, no I’m not breaking up with you. I just think you haven’t thought this through.”

  “Don’t speak to me like I’m a child. I’ve been taking care of my entire family since I was five.”

  “I’m not talking to you like anything. I would do anything for you. You know that.” I got a fuckin’ tattoo. “I don’t even think I could physically have a baby even if I wanted to. Doctors don’t even want you to have kids after thirty-five. I’m well past thirty-five. After thirty-five you’re considered high risk. I don’t even know if I still have eggs. If I had one or two eggs, do the eggs even work. I don’t know.”

  “Women have babies over forty.”

  “That’s true. But our bodies aren’t all the same.”

  “If you were, I don’t know, twenty-five, would you have my baby?”

  “Yes, I love you. I would, but I’m not twenty-five. Just thinking about it is scary.”

  “Why? Tell me what’s scary?”

  “I could die and bleed out on the table. It’s not like childbirth is a picnic. It’s so hard.”

  “It’s hard. What else?”

  “Money and time? Babies cost money.”

  “Is there anything else on your cons list?”