Scarred

by Tess Thompson

  He lifted his fingers from the keyboard. What could he say that was a little like the intimate moments they’d spent swimming that wasn’t exactly that? She’d had him over for dinner and they’d had a good talk, even though he still couldn’t bring himself to confess his feelings? Yes, that would do.

  He continued.

  Tonight, Michelle invited me to her apartment for dinner and she talked to me in a way she doesn’t usually. She spoke of her background in more detail and in general seemed more vulnerable. I wish I had the courage to say something or do something, but the fear of rejection and of ruining our friendship is strong. I know you understand.

  Anyway, I should go now. I have things to do for work. Have a good day tomorrow.

  Talk soon.

  Art

  * * *

  He hit the send button and powered off his computer. Turning up the volume on the television, he forced himself to focus on the game. Distraction. That’s all he needed. Yeah, right. It would take more than a soccer game to rid his mind of the images of Autumn Hickman in a bathing suit.

  6

  Autumn

  * * *

  The next morning, Autumn woke to a thick fog outside the windows. She padded to the patio and threw open the doors. Cool, damp air greeted her. She breathed it in, thankful the hot weather of yesterday was gone. A layer of fog obscured her view of the beach. Later, the haze would roll away, but for now it made a bed over the sea like layers of gossamer blankets. To air out the house, she left the French doors open and went into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee.

  Feeling remarkably well rested, she stretched her arms toward the ceiling as she waited for the coffee to brew. Swimming was the gift that kept giving. Not only had she enjoyed her time in the water, she’d been physically spent afterward. She’d slept the entire night through, she realized, as she popped two pieces of wheat bread into the toaster.

  With her coffee and toast, she sat at her table and looked out to the white world of the morning. The pharmacy would be busy later, and she relished the few minutes of calm before heading to the shower.

  The sound of a seagull’s cry startled her. She looked over to see a particularly large bird giving her the stink eye just outside the French doors. “Shoo.” She stood, almost knocking her coffee over, and ran to close the doors. “Go away.” The gull fluffed his wings as if offended but didn’t move. She closed the doors, smiling to herself. These gulls were awfully bold. He probably wanted a piece of her toast. She locked the doors and was about to go back to the table when something stopped her cold. Obscured by the thick fog, a figure stood on the end of her patio looking straight at her. The shape stepped closer, ghostlike in the mist. A man. He wore a red cap and a black jacket. She stifled a scream and double-checked the lock. The gull suddenly lifted from the patio and flew toward the man. Obviously frightened, he backed up and then stumbled from the side of her patio. He fell on his knees but scrambled to his feet in the next instant and took off running. On shaky legs, she went back to the table, grabbed her phone, and called Trey.

  He sounded sleepy when he answered. “Good morning,” he said.

  “There was a man on my patio. Staring at me. I had the doors open. If it hadn’t been for a seagull, he might have come in.”

  “Crap. And you didn’t know him?”

  “I couldn’t see him well enough to know,” she said. “Then the gull scared him off.”

  “Good gull.”

  “He’s probably just some vagrant living on the beach. Maybe he wandered up to my patio on accident.”

  “I’m going to call today and get a security system installed,” Trey said, firmly. “No arguments.”

  “Maybe you’re right,” she said. “But it’s so expensive.” However, with all the tourists in the summer, Cliffside Bay might not be as safe as they thought.

  “I’ll pay for it,” he said.

  “Don’t be silly. I can afford it. I’d just rather spend the money on clothes.”

  He made a sound between a chuckle and sigh. “Your safety’s more important.”

  “He could’ve just been a drunk who woke up on the beach after a bender,” she said, hoping to convince them both that she wasn’t in danger.

  “Drunk or on meth,” he said. “You’re so close to the public beach that any number of types could wander onto your patio. I’m sending my guy out there today. My schedule’s flexible. I’ll meet him there later while you’re at work.”

  She agreed and they hung up. Creeped out, she double-checked the front lock, too. It was secure. “Do not think of the movie Psycho,” she repeated to herself as she walked to the bathroom for her shower.

  She worked a full and busy shift and forgot about the man on the patio. However, it all came rushing back when she pulled into her driveway. In the corner of her small patch of grass a sign read, “This house is protected by Huffman Security.”

  Trey, true to his word, had ordered a security system. He always did what he said he’d do. She parked and texted him a quick thank-you before heading into the house.

  Her phone buzzed with a call just as she placed her bag on the kitchen island. A quick glance at the screen told her it was Valerie.

  Autumn answered with a simple hello.

  “Hi, Autumn.” She sounded strangled and hoarse.

  A jolt of alarm surged through her. “What’s wrong? Are you sick?”

  “No, not sick. My apartment burned. The whole building’s nothing but burning embers. I came home from work and there were all these fire trucks and police cars. I can’t see a thing that’s recognizable. The whole place collapsed on itself. Like it melted.”

  Autumn’s throat had constricted, making it hard to speak. “Was anyone hurt?”

  “No, thank goodness. Most of us were at work. There’s a single mother with two little ones, but they were out at the park when the fire started. The apartment manager made sure to get the two elderly people out. They said it burned so fast, there was barely time.”

  “Do the authorities know how it started?” Autumn asked.

  “I don’t know. If they do, they’re not saying. Everyone’s just standing around in the parking lot. None of us know what to do.”

  “You have your car? It was with you at work, right?”

  “Yes, I’ll have to sleep there until I figure out what to do.”

  “Sleep in your car?” Autumn hadn’t brought it up as a suggestion for a new home. “Check into a hotel.”

  A long, shaky sigh came from the other end of the phone. “Hotel? Honey, people like me stay in motels.”

  Anxiety crawled up the back of Autumn’s neck. Her tiny mother wasn’t sleeping in her car. There were dangerous people out there. “Motel or hotel—whatever. You need to book a room somewhere safe.”

  “I used almost all my paycheck for rent. There’s not enough left for a motel until I get paid again.” There was a sharp intake of breath and a hiccup before she spoke again. “Work. I have to go to my job first thing in the morning.” Her voice rose as the reality of her situation obviously took hold. “What will I wear? How will I shower or wash clothes? I can’t lose this job.”

  Autumn stood, helpless, with her mouth slack as she processed this bit of information. Valerie was alone, without money or even clothes, and was panicked about losing a job that kept her fed and sheltered from paycheck to paycheck. This was how people ended up homeless.

  In the background, she detected the sounds of men shouting. She could almost hear the smoldering of the boards and bricks. Was her mother close enough to feel the heat on her face?

  Valerie continued in the same flat, broken tone of a person who has given up on finding a solution to their situation. “Everything I owned was in that apartment. Not much, but mine. Now there’s nothing left.” The resignation of the poor. Autumn knew the script. She’d said it herself a thousand times when she was young. Things are bad and won’t get better. Best not to fool yourself into thinking they will. Having hope is a dirty trick.r />
  The mass of seething, fiery debris was the symbol of every person living in poverty. Whatever I build eventually burns, and I’m back to nothing.

  “I’m sorry,” Autumn said, thinking of the treasures she and Trey had so carefully selected for her cottage. Yes, they were just things, merely objects, but when one had grown up with so little, physical pieces had a bigger importance. They were symbols of survival, material proof of a better life. Each like a badge that proved she was bigger than her circumstances had predicted.

  “It’s not the stuff so much as the photographs. They’re all I had left of my husband.” Valerie’s voice broke, and Autumn could hear her crying. The image of her sobbing, feeling all alone, was too much. This was her mother. The person who gave her life.

  “Did you call Kyle? What did he say to do?” Kyle should have talked sense into her.

  “I didn’t call him. You were the first one I thought to call,” Valerie said.

  “Me? Why me?”

  “I don’t know. I wanted to talk to you. My daughter.”

  A lump in her throat made it hard to speak, but Autumn blurted out, “Mom, come stay with me.” Mom? Had she just said the most sacred of titles out loud for the first time? She hadn’t intended to. This was a title that should be earned but wasn’t always—the mothers who abused, the mothers who left. The most important word in the English language should never be used carelessly. Mother, mom, mommy, mama were words bestowed on the woman who cared for you, sacrificed parts of herself to give you what you needed.

  Not for her mother.

  Her mother had left.

  A small, quiet voice chirped inside Autumn’s head, like a sweet bird’s song. But she came back. She’s here now. Isn’t it time to forgive her? Let her in?

  Yes, Valerie was here with a big bushy olive branch. She was trying. Had Autumn tried? Or was she more comfortable treading water in a pool of resentment? Anger had kept her from softening into forgiveness. Maybe that’s what she wanted. Now, that was a jolting thought. Perhaps this distance was a place of comfort. Removed yet outraged meant she didn’t risk being hurt, being rejected. Again.

  A heavy silence greeted her from the other end.

  “Did you hear me?” Autumn asked. “Come stay with me.”

  “I can’t. I need this job,” Valerie said.

  “You can just stay for a little while.”

  “I can’t drive all that way every day. Too much gas.”

  “You can find a job here. Kyle has work at the resort.”

  More silence.

  “What is it? Why won’t you just move down here? You say you want to be near us, so why live an hour away?”

  “I…I don’t want to be a burden. I’ve caused you kids so much pain.”

  “It’s time to move on.”

  “To where?” Valerie asked.

  “Being a real family.”

  “I can’t sponge off you or your brothers.”

  “Kyle wants to buy you a home. Why won’t you let him?”

  “Autumn, I’ve already explained this. I cannot take his money. His charity. Not after what I did.”

  Her temper flared. “Get over it.”

  “What?”

  “I said, get over it. Kyle owns half of California. Let him buy you a place to live. I let him help me with the cottage. I’d never have been able to afford to have it renovated without him. And he helped Stone and the other Wolves start their business.”

  “I’m over fifty years old,” Valerie said. “I can’t live off you kids for the next twenty years.”

  “Twenty? How about another forty?”

  “Oh, Autumn.” Another silence.

  “Really, this is silly. Please, come stay with me. The boys and I’ll help you come up with a plan.”

  “Maybe I could find a job there. Won’t I be in the way? What about Trey?”

  “Trey?”

  “I wouldn’t want to put a damper on your romance.”

  “We’re friends. That’s all.” Why was everyone so sure they were lovers? Wasn’t it obvious they were the best of pals?

  “I had a different impression.”

  “No way. We don’t think of each other like that.”

  “Okay.” Valerie drew out the vowels in a very know-it-all motherly type of way that gave Autumn a sparkly feeling in the middle of her chest.

  “Get in your car and come here,” Autumn said. “You can borrow some of my clothes until I can take you shopping.”

  “Will you tell your brothers?” A slight pause. “Do you think they’ll mind?”

  “What have they been asking you to do for months now?”

  “When you’ve made as many mistakes as I have, it makes every kind gesture seem suspicious,” Valerie said.

  “We’re your family. Mistakes happen, but we’re still family.”

  After she hung up with Valerie, she called Kyle to tell him about the apartment building.

  “For real? The whole thing burned down?”

  “Yes, the entire building,” Autumn said. “Think of all the people who now have no place to go.”

  “I’ll call her and get her to move in with us.”

  “I invited her to live with me for a while and she said yes.”

  “No way. That’s great. Good work, little sister.”

  “It took some persuading,” Autumn said.

  “I’ve been working on her for a year.” He said this as if it were new information.

  “I guess it took a fire to convince her.”

  “That’s scary, if you think about it too hard. We just got her back,” Kyle said.

  “That place must have violated a hundred safety codes.”

  “This really burns my hide,” Kyle said. “I should buy the property and put up something, a decent place for people to live.”

  “Nice idea, but people who make what they do would never be able to afford the rent. We need more affordable housing in this country.”

  Kyle made a growling sound in the back of his throat. “You sound like my wife.”

  “I’m serious. Think about the elderly on a fixed income and that single mother with two little kids. Where are they supposed to go?”

  “Like we were.” Kyle sighed.

  “Yes, like that.”

  “I can’t house all the poor people of Northern California.” Her brother’s words had a defensive edge to them.

  “I know. You’re a businessman, not the low-income housing authority.”

  “True. But still,” Kyle said.

  “I’ll talk to you later.”

  After they hung up, she changed out of her work clothes into a light cotton dress. She rummaged around in her refrigerator for something to eat and settled on a salad with some leftover chicken. No sooner had she finished the last bite of field greens than her front doorbell rang. There was no way it was Valerie already. Probably a salesperson or a kid asking for donations.

  She ambled somewhat wearily over to the door and peeped through the glass. Trey. She yanked open the door. He grabbed her in a hug. “Thank God,” he said.

  “What are we thanking God for?”

  “You didn’t answer my texts, so I got worried.”

  “I was on the phone.” She laughed as she motioned for him to shut the door. “You’re letting all the cool air out.”

  “Where have you been?” He followed her into the kitchen. “I thought maybe…someone broke in…or something. I didn’t leave the alarm on because I need to show you how to use it first.”

  “No, no. I’m fine.” She swept a plate from the kitchen table, rinsed it, and stuck it in her dishwasher. “Actually, I was on the phone with Valerie.” She told him about the fire and that Valerie had agreed to come stay for a while.

  He grabbed a beer from her refrigerator and leaned against the counter. “Well, well, well. This is a turn of events.”

  She tossed the bottle top he’d left near the sink at him. “Don’t be smug.”

  “What? I think it’s nice
you’re softening.”

  “I couldn’t allow her to be homeless,” she said. “That’s all.”

  “Maybe it’ll be nice. Living together will give you a chance to know her in a different way.”

  “The company might be nice. It’s lonely sometimes.”

  “I get it. Speaking of which, Stone and Pepper’s house is almost finished.”

  A surge of envy passed through Autumn. Her brothers would be neighbors. Their children would be able to run to each other’s homes. “The house is already done?”

  Trey nodded. “They’re ready for interiors, which Pepper and I’ve been working on for months now. It’s just time to implement.”

  Stone and Pepper were building a house on the back of Kyle’s property. When Kyle had bought the acreage, he’d split it in half with his friend Jackson Waller. Jackson and Maggie had taken the part of the land with a house, which they’d subsequently renovated. There was another piece of land behind Kyle’s that had been mostly woods. When they’d settled on that piece of land, Kyle and Stone had hired men to take down enough of the trees to make room for a house.

  “How does it look?” Autumn asked.

  “Gorgeous. Like one of those beach houses in a magazine.”

  Pepper was raised back east and favored the Cape Cod-style homes. She’d recently inherited an obscene amount of money from her deceased father. Soon thereafter, she’d been offered a tidy sum to star in a movie with Genevieve Banks and their own Lisa Perry. Autumn would love to hate her for being talented and rich, but her heart wasn’t in it. Pepper was as kind as she was fun. She was the perfect spice to Stone’s steadiness. Together, they were unconquerable.

  Another knock on the door took her attention from Trey. She glanced at her watch. Still a little early for Valerie. She crossed through the kitchen to the front door. Stone’s large frame filled the doorway, and his slender fiancée was tucked against his side. “Hey, sis. Sorry to barge in, but Kyle called and said Mom’s on her way.”

  “Word travels fast,” Autumn said as she ushered them into the small foyer. “Come on in. Trey’s here.”

  “Is Valerie on the way?” Pepper asked, shutting the door behind her.