Scarred

by Tess Thompson

  “Bring a little heat to that kitchen,” David said. “And don’t look back.”

  “Um, yeah. If you bring the heat, you better put a ring on it,” Stone said. “Sooner rather than later. This is my sister we’re talking about.”

  14

  Autumn

  * * *

  Autumn had spent the day helping her mother move into the Sotos’ former apartment. They were done by four, and she headed to the grocery store for dinner ingredients, then showered and applied a new coat of makeup. Trey rang the bell right at six. Butterflies fluttered in her stomach as she walked to the door. It’s just Trey, she reminded herself. He knows you. He loves you. There’s nothing that could go wrong.

  She flung open the door a little more forcefully than she intended. Apparently, nerves made her extra strong.

  Trey stood there holding a bouquet of red and orange dahlias in one hand and a bottle of her favorite Chablis in the other.

  “Good evening.” He smiled as he handed her the wine. “Grabbed the last bottle from Sophie’s personal stash for the occasion.”

  “Thank you. Come on in. Are those for me?” she asked, indicating the flowers. Her heart pounded hard in her chest. Of course they were for her. Who else would they be for? She was acting like an idiot already. Being his friend was as easy as eating ice cream. This was different. Now it was all loaded and weird.

  “I couldn’t resist. They were in front of the store and just called out to me.”

  Flowers. He’d never brought flowers. Like a date. It was as though he knew what she was going to tell him. Had the girls confessed?

  “My favorite colors,” she said, making sure to keep her voice steady even though her thoughts were anything but, tossing about in her brain like Ping-Pong balls. “My favorite flower.”

  “I know they’re your favorite flower.” He placed the flowers into the vase on the entryway table. “That’s why I chose them.”

  “Oh.” She stepped backward, tripped on the foyer rug, and stumbled.

  In a flash, he reached for her, keeping her upright with his strong arm around her waist, then pulled her closer. “Easy now.”

  She held her breath, staring up at him.

  He maintained her gaze, his blue eyes unwavering as he peered down at her. “I know your favorite flowers. I know what you like in your coffee. I know your favorite colors. Someday—it might not be today—but someday I hope to know what it feels like to kiss you.”

  “Kiss me?” she murmured, almost to herself.

  “Yes, kiss you.” He loosened his arm from her waist and stepped a few inches away but continued to look at her with the same intense expression. “I brought you flowers so that you know this is a date.”

  She just stared at him, a sense of panic rising. This was really happening. She understood on a visceral level what it meant to be a deer in the headlights.

  “I repeat, this is a date.” His eyes flickered with what seemed like hesitation for the first time since he’d walked in the door.

  “We’ve had dinner together so many times. You never called it a date before.” Her voice felt stuck in the back of her throat.

  He smiled and brushed her cheek with his free hand. “I’m not playing it safe any longer. I’m in love with you and I’m not going to pretend otherwise. Not for one minute more.”

  She continued to gape at him, unsteady and unsure. The chilled bottle of wine had left her fingers cold, but the rest of her sizzled with the sudden heat between them. Droplets of sweat sprang out on the end of her nose. Bright afternoon sun streamed through the glass skylight. Dust particles floated in the steady stream of air coming out of the vent. “I don’t know what to do now.”

  “How do you feel about me?” He spoke in his same quiet manner, but the force of his words sounded different. Disconcertingly so.

  She swiped at the end of her nose. Could she say the words out loud? “You’re my best friend.”

  “Is that all?”

  “That’s everything. Or the foundation of everything, anyway. But as far as we go, I’m worried we’re unsuited.”

  “How so? We like all the same things. We never get tired of talking or being together. At least, that’s my take on it.”

  “All those things are true.” The muscles in her face tensed, as if waiting for a punch. She had to ask him, even though she was scared to hear his answer. “I want to be married and have a family. You said you’d never get married again.”

  “That was before I met you. I’d marry you the minute you said yes.” He studied her, then ran a finger along her bottom lip. “If I was lucky enough to win your heart, I’d never let you go.”

  They were only inches apart. Could he detect the scar on her cheekbone that she so carefully disguised with foundation? “But Trey, you could have anyone.”

  “There’s no one but you for me,” he said.

  “Is this about your dad?” She blurted out her sudden fear.

  He made a sound at the back of his throat, as if someone had pushed into his neck with a blunt object. “My dad?”

  “Yes, like some strange reaction to his infidelity? Like you’re going for the sure thing or something?”

  He stepped back a few inches and stared at her openmouthed before speaking. “Sure thing? Do you know how much courage it took to tell you this?” A vein bulged in his neck. “You’re anything but a sure thing. I’m so in love with you that I’ve felt sick. Seriously, I’m like a lovesick fourteen-year-old boy. All I can think about is being with you. Kissing you. Taking you into my bed. Do you know what torture it was to have your almost-naked body next to me in the swimming pool? Not being able to have you hurts like hell. It’s like I’m thirsty all the time and you’re the well with all the cool, sweet water just out of reach.”

  The honesty of that statement socked her in the belly and took her breath away. “Trey, really?”

  “Yes, really. You’re my best friend, my favorite person, the one I want to wake up next to each morning. You’re the one I want to spend every moment with. I love you. All of you. Tell me, do you feel the same way?”

  The longing in his eyes shot through her, woke her own yearning. She smiled and cupped his chin with one hand. “Forgive me if I need a moment to catch up.”

  His expression softened. He reached for her hand and stroked it with his thumb. “Do you love me?”

  “I do,” she said. “I never let myself go there because I didn’t think you could ever feel the same way about me.”

  “You didn’t know? I can’t believe it wasn’t totally obvious.”

  “You’re symmetrical and I’m uneven.”

  “To me, you’re the most beautiful woman in the world.”

  The sunlight bounced off his thick hair. She could see the fine lines around his eyes in this bright light. Eyes that were currently ablaze with passion. Passion for her.

  Dumbfounded, she stared at him again, then laughed. “Is this one of those movies where the hot guy thinks it’s funny to trick the ugly girl into a date so that everyone can make fun of her?”

  To her surprise, his eyes filled with tears at her dumb joke. “Don’t ever call yourself ugly again.”

  “I’m sorry. I was just teasing.”

  “It’s not funny to me. I’d never hurt you or mistreat you. Anyone who does won’t live long.”

  “But you’ve seen me. You know what’s under all this.” She gestured toward her long skirt.

  He tapped his temple. “They’re my eyes. All I see is beauty.”

  “You and me, it’s so strange. Everything I thought I knew is all blown to bits.”

  “Sometimes things have to be blown up in order for the right pieces to fit back together.”

  She realized she was still holding the bottle of wine. “What about that kiss? Is it going to be right here in my foyer?”

  His blue eyes sparkled as he looked down at her. “I think it should be in your kitchen. All the best things in life start in the kitchen.”

 
He took her hand, and they walked together to the kitchen. When they reached the island, he took the bottle from her and set it aside. He slid his arms around her, looking into her eyes. “I’m suddenly nervous. I’ve dreamed of this moment for so long.”

  She lifted her face to his. “If it’s not perfect, that just means we need to practice more.”

  He laughed, then leaned down and pressed his mouth to hers and kissed her. For a split second, she thought she might fall over from the sheer pleasure of his soft mouth on hers. He tasted of mint. His skin smelled like a mixture of leather and soap. She splayed her hands in his wavy hair, delighted by its soft texture.

  They fit together, she realized. Pressed together, it was obvious they were two halves of a whole.

  He kissed her neck. His hands traveled down her spine to cup her backside. She nearly exploded with desire when he pushed her gently against the island with his hips. He returned to her mouth, teasing her with his tongue.

  She groaned and wrapped her arms around his neck. He lifted her onto the island and tugged her long skirt up to her thighs, then drew her closer to him. With long, sensitive fingers, he brushed her skin from her ankles up to her thighs while kissing her.

  Her skin mended under his touch. She imagined she was no longer scarred but flawless, as free and weightless as she’d been in the water.

  “I love you,” he whispered as he planted kisses from her ear to her collarbone. “I’ve loved you from the minute I first set eyes on you.”

  They kissed again, this time harder and with so much heat she thought her pretty kitchen might catch on fire.

  “Would it be wrong to sleep together before we’ve had a real date?” she asked.

  He looked into her eyes as he pulled her closer. “We’ve had enough time together to count as a hundred dates. I think we can head to your bedroom without guilt.”

  “Lead the way.”

  He scooted her off the island and secured her legs around his waist. Without letting her down, he carried her across the kitchen and up to the bedroom.

  The next morning, she woke a little later than usual to the sound of the shower running. She blinked awake and rolled over to look at the other side of the bed as the events from the night before rushed into her consciousness. The night had not been a long, luscious dream but reality. Now Trey was in her bathroom. Naked under the sheet, she shivered thinking through all of the things they’d done the night before. For a bedroom that had seen no action since she’d moved in, the walls had certainly gotten an eyeful last night. She slipped quietly out of bed and pulled on a pair of pajamas that hung over the back of the chair.

  In bare feet, she padded down the stairs to the kitchen. The room was dim with the shades drawn. She lifted the edge of the shade that hung over one of the French doors to peek outside. There were no creepy lurking men in sight, so she pulled up each shade, one by one.

  The gauzy morning light filtered in through the glass. A low, translucent fog hovered just above the water. Blue sky above the half-hearted blanket hinted at the warmth to come. The sun was behind the house, creeping up the eastern sky. Soon, the beach would be flooded with people. For now, the sand and walking path were empty.

  She made coffee in rote movements, her eyes scratchy from lack of sleep. Not that she was complaining. Losing sleep with Trey was worth every moment.

  She’d just poured a mug of steaming coffee for herself when Trey came in, dressed in the khaki pants and cotton shirt he’d worn the night before. His hair was damp and curled at his neck. Unshaven, he looked gruffer and older than usual with a whisker shadow. “I have an early meeting with a client, so I have to scoot.” He leaned down to kiss her. “Sorry about the scruff. Next time, I’ll bring my shaving equipment.”

  She averted her eyes and fussed with the collar of his shirt. “Maybe you should get an extra set. One for here and one for your house.”

  He lifted her chin, forcing her to look up and into his eyes. They went soft as he brushed her bottom lip with his thumb. “Leaving stuff here? Sounds serious.”

  “Are we?” she asked. Her old enemy insecurity cramped her stomach. “I mean, are we together now? Like exclusive?” She winced with embarrassment at the pathetic sound of her voice. Don’t be needy. You’ll drive him away.

  “Is that a serious question? After last night? Is there any doubt in your mind that I love you? We’ve been close for a long time. I would never have told you how I felt if I wasn’t serious about making you my wife. Anyway, Stone already told me I’d better put a ring on it if I did what I did to you last night. Since I plan to do it again tonight, a ring is forthcoming.”

  “Do you mean it?” she asked.

  The corners of his mouth twitched in an uneasy smile. “I’m not playing around here. I want to give you everything you want. It took me way too long to admit to myself how I felt about you. I was so battered after my divorce that I truly believed I’d stay single for the rest of my life. Then you walked into this ratty cottage, and my heart’s never been the same. If I hadn’t been such an idiot, I would’ve acted on this sooner. I should never have let you think we were doomed to the friend zone. My ex-wife really did a number on me. Scarred me on the inside, like she’d thrown acid in my face.”

  Bile rose from her stomach. She swallowed. Acid? Was it a coincidence? She backed away from him a few inches, staring at his face. “Acid? That’s a strange thing to say.”

  He seemed to freeze in place. His face blanched of color.

  “Trey. Why did you say that?”

  “It’s a metaphor.” He shrugged and gave her a half smile. “Just a bad metaphor that came to me.”

  She stumbled backward into the island as the truth came to her in a tidal wave. All the events of the last couple weeks stacked together, telling the story. He’d manipulated her confessions, acting on them, laying the groundwork for so many things. The swimming. Her mother moving to town. “Oh my God. Art’s you.”

  His expression turned immediately to panic. He moved closer to her with his hands outstretched. “Let me explain.”

  She shook her head and tried to melt into the island. “Do not touch me. Why would you do such a thing?”

  “I was trying to help my case.” His voice had risen in pitch. “It was stupid, but I thought you’d see that your fear about your scars was just fear about getting involved with someone you cared about so much as a friend.”

  “And how exactly was this supposed to happen? By lying to me? By pretending to be someone else?” She stared at him in horror before turning toward the window. “I wrote so many intimate things in those emails.” Her skin burned, remembering.

  “Why couldn’t you say them to me?” he asked.

  She did a double take. Was he serious? “That’s not the relevant point here. You tricked me into sharing my inner thoughts with you, and then you used that information to manipulate an outcome. Who does that?”

  “I was desperate to find a way to reach you.”

  “Reach me? Why didn’t you just tell me the truth?”

  “I tried to, but you shut me down. Can’t you see this was a good thing? We’ve learned about each other at a much deeper level. I know you better than before because for whatever reason you could talk to Art about things you couldn’t talk to me about.”

  “Art is not a real person. You do not have a scarred face, Trey. I wasn’t talking to Art. I was talking to you, only I didn’t know it. You’ve completely breached my trust.” The enormity of what he’d done engulfed her like the most forceful riptide. “I told Art how I felt about you.” She clutched her throat, horrified as she remembered the last email. “You came here acting like you didn’t know.”

  “I’d never have been able to tell you had I not known already,” Trey said. “I was too scared I might lose you if I pushed it before knowing how you felt.”

  “So you used a false identity to get information?”

  He shook his head and ran his hands through his hair. “It’s not as seedy as y
ou’re making it sound. I couldn’t share how I felt out loud. It was so much easier to talk about my feelings by writing them.”

  “How could you possibly have thought this was a way to win me over?”

  “It was Stone’s idea.”

  She drew in a deep, sharp breath that hurt her chest. “Stone?”

  “And the guys…we thought this might be a way for me to get through to you. To help you see that your scars don’t mean anything to me. I needed a way into your heart, because you’d shut me out.”

  “How could any of you think this was a good idea? It doesn’t even make sense.”

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you or make you angry. I just wanted a chance. You were going on all those coffee dates and I started to think how you might meet someone else and I’d lose you forever. I was desperate for you to understand that I could love you, scars and all, by presenting a character with the same problems. We thought you would see it differently once you got to know Art.”

  “I…I don’t know what to think right now.” Her entire body shook. She walked over to the kitchen table and sank into a chair.

  This table. She loved this table. They’d found it together at a used furniture store in Stowaway. He’d said to her, “I can sand it, make it smooth as polished stone, then paint it eggshell white. Make it good as new.” They’d agreed it would be a perfect display for the sea-glass bowl he’d found for her. Was she merely a thing to restore, a way for him to feed his ego? “Am I one of your fix-it-up projects?”

  “What are you taking about?” he asked.

  She lifted her chin to look at him. “You can’t let an object go once you decide something has potential. I’m not some vintage bargain deal you needed to restore.”

  His head reeled back as if she had slapped him. “Is that what you think this is? I’m rescuing you?”

  “What else could it be? You come up with a fake persona to teach me how to love you?”

  “You’re wrong,” he said. “You couldn’t be more wrong. You’re just finding another reason to reject the idea of us. I may have done something stupid, but that doesn’t change the fact that we love each other. You’re letting your abandonment issues rule your life, Autumn.”