by E. L. Todd
“Me too.” Trinity lay back on the couch and touched her stomach.
Dad approached Beatrice. “Can I get you something to drink?”
“Water, please,” she said.
“I’ll take a beer,” I said.
“Get it yourself, asshole.” Dad walked into the kitchen.
Beatrice laughed. “You guys are funny.”
“My dad treats my mom and sister like queens but he treats me like garbage,” I said.
“It’s probably a guy thing.”
I shrugged. “Maybe.”
***
After dinner and hot cocoa, everyone trailed to bed. I stayed downstairs in front of the fire because Beatrice hadn’t moved. She sat next to me on the couch, her eyes watching the flames dance. The Christmas tree was in the corner, shining bright and illuminating the house.
My ankle rested on my opposite knee and I rubbed my finger against my bottom lip, thinking about the beautiful woman beside me. I’d give anything to know what she was thinking. Her face was as stoic as a statue, indecipherable. “What are you thinking about?”
She turned her head slightly, like she was broken from a trance. “My mom used to braid my hair by the fire.”
I returned my gaze to the hearth.
“And that I’ve had a wonderful time with your family.”
“Really?” I asked.
“Yeah. Your dad is funny and your mom is cute.”
“What about my sister? I wouldn’t judge you if you said you hated her.”
She chuckled. “I definitely don’t hate her. She’s pretty awesome.”
“They can’t hear you, you know.”
She laughed again. “I know you love them, Conrad. I can see through your act.”
Could she see through everything else? I pulled my ear buds out of my pocket and handed one to her. “Would you like to listen?”
She smiled then put it in her ear. “Sure.”
I scooted closer to her on the couch and played Bob Dylan.
“I love him,” she whispered.
“Neil Young?” I asked.
“I love him too.”
We settled into companionable silence while we listened to the music and watched the fire crackle and burn.
The times I spent alone with her were my favorite. Words didn’t need to be said and we didn’t need to be doing anything. We could just sit in silence and be comfortable. I never had that kind of relationship with someone. I couldn’t even lay in the same bed with a girl after sex because I was too uncomfortable. I kicked them out without caring about my rudeness.
My relationship with Beatrice was inexplicable. She was just a girl I hung out with. No sex was involved. That was hard for everyone to understand. It was even hard for me to understand. But it didn’t make it untrue.
“What do you want for Christmas this year?” she asked.
There was only one thing I wanted but I could never tell her. “I have everything I need.”
“I didn’t say need. I said want.” She tapped her finger against her thigh to the beat of the song.
I thought about Cayson and Skye, the couple I thought would survive anything. “For my friends Cayson and Skye to get back together.”
She turned to me, a quizzical expression on her face. “Who are they?”
“Really close friends. I thought they were soul mates. They broke up a few months ago and no one knows why. I really hope they can work it out. We’ll be seeing them tomorrow.”
“That’s sweet,” she whispered.
“What do you want?” I asked.
She pondered the question. “For my brother to have a good Christmas.”
“Did you call him?” I asked.
“No,” she whispered. “But I’m sure he knows I’m thinking about him.”
I studied her face, noting the reflection of the fire in her eyes. Her emerald eyes were lit up in green flames. They were hypnotic, impossible to ignore. She turned her gaze on me, her green eyes searing into my blue ones. I didn’t look away, not wanting to.
Moments like this made me question our peculiar relationship. She said she just wanted to be friends, but were we really friends? I didn’t stare into Roland’s eyes and never want to look away. I didn’t listen to music with him and sit in comfortable silence. Beatrice was the only one I did any of these things with.
She looked down and her hand moved to mine. Slowly, she gripped it and interlocked our fingers. Her hands were so small compared to mine, petite. I felt her faint pulse underneath the skin. I continued to look into her eyes, unable to stop. She stared back, unafraid.
Beatrice broke the connection when she turned her gaze to the fire. Her hand was still clutched in mine, giving no indication of letting go. I continued to stare at her, wondering what was going through that pretty head of hers.
Chapter Seven
Skye
Everyone was drinking and having a good time. Christmas was in full swing this year. I pretended I was okay, but I wasn’t. I was dying inside. Cayson would walk through that door any second and I had no idea how to act around him. Would he hate me? Would he refuse to speak to me?
Would he even look at me?
Trinity was by my side, giving me a sad look. “It’ll be okay, Skye.”
“Do I look that terrible?” I whispered.
“Well, you’re the thinnest I’ve ever seen you. And your eyes give you away…”
I knew when everyone came over, they would ask me a million questions. Most of them would hate me for what I did to Cayson—or at least what they think I did.
“No one knows what happened,” Trinity said. “Slade and I agreed not to tell anyone.”
My eyes searched her face. “Really?”
She nodded.
“How did you get Slade to agree to that? I’m surprised he doesn’t hate me.”
“He did—at first. But I reminded him that we’re all friends and family here. We can’t get involved with your relationship. It’s best if we just…let it go.”
“Yeah…let it go.”
“So, no one is going to ask you about it.”
“I’m sure everyone is dying to know.” I really didn’t want to talk about Cayson tonight.
“I think so too, but don’t stress about it.”
The front door opened and Uncle Ryan and Aunt Janice came in. Slade was in the front with a guy wearing a leather jacket.
“You see that hot blonde on the couch?” He pointed right at Trinity. “That’s my lady.”
Trinity melted right before my eyes.
“Nice,” the guy in the leather jacket said.
Slade came to her then leaned over the back of the couch. “You’re looking beautiful today.”
“Thanks.”
He kissed her hard on the mouth, his hand cupping her face.
I watched them, feeling sad.
“How do I look?” Slade pressed. “Hot? Sexy? Dark and mysterious?”
“Perfect,” she said.
He kissed the corner of her mouth. “I’ll take it.” When he pulled away, he turned to me. Disappointment flashed in his eyes and then annoyance. Growing up with Slade taught me how to read him. I knew what he was thinking even if he didn’t say it. Then he released a heavy sigh and hugged me. “Merry Christmas, Skye.”
I was caught off guard by the affection. He never hugged me. “Merry Christmas.”
He pulled away and gave me a sad look. “I think what you did to Cayson was wrong on so many levels. He didn’t deserve that. But…you’re my cousin and I’m here for you no matter what. I’m not going to choose sides.”
His words made my eyes bubble with tears. “That means a lot to me.”
He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and held me for a moment. Then he stood up and headed back to Trinity.
“Who’s the hot guy in the jacket?” Trinity asked.
“Excuse me?” Slade snapped.
“I mean, who’s that guy over there?”
Slade’s eyes narrowed
in annoyance. “Silke’s boyfriend.”
“She has a boyfriend?” I blurted. For a moment, I forgot my pain and tuned in to the gossip.
Silke came over, holding his hand. He had dark brown hair that was almost black and bright blue eyes. He was fit and toned, and he had a constant smirk in his eyes. His jacket fit his broad shoulders nicely, and he had an air of mischief to him.
“This is Arsen,” Silke announced. She smiled while she showed him off.
“I didn’t know you were seeing anyone,” Trinity snapped.
“Well, we were low-key,” Silke said.
“Or non-existent,” Trinity said.
Silke gave her a knowing look. “You’re one to talk.”
Trinity’s cheeks reddened. “It’s nice to meet you, Arsen.”
“The pleasure is mine.” He shook hands with her. Then he came to me. “Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas.” I shook his hand.
“Is this your place?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I answered.
“It’s really nice.” He gave me a smile before he returned to Silke.
Trinity leaned toward me. “Talk about wow.”
“I know, right?” I whispered.
Slade didn’t look amused. “I’m right here.”
“Is he an underwear model?” Trinity said.
Slade growled. “I can hear you.”
Trinity turned back to him then rubbed his arm. “Of course you can, honey.”
He narrowed his eyes at her. “I don’t check out other girls so you should give me the same respect.”
Trinity burst out laughing. “Good one.”
“I don’t,” he snapped.
“Right,” I said.
He shot me a hateful look then turned back to Trinity. “I’m not lying.”
“Like you didn’t gawk at Conrad’s girlfriend—friend—whatever she is,” Trinity said.
Beatrice was the definition of beauty. She had the elegance of Catherine Hepburn and the beauty of Elizabeth Taylor. Her body was perfect with the right curves in the right places, and she held herself with pride and respect. She turned everyone’s head once she walked inside. Even I was checking her out.
“I didn’t,” he said firmly. “You’re the only one who catches my eye.”
“Give it a rest.” Trinity brushed him off.
Slade snatched her wrist and forced her to look at him. His eyes were burning with seriousness. He was upset, almost enraged. “I don’t lie, Trinity. Never have and never will. If I were checking out some girl, I’d make it known. Now, when I say I don’t check out other women, I mean it. So stop gawking at James Dean. It’s pissing me off.” His eyes drilled into hers.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
He released his grip. “That’s more like it.”
Trinity stared into his face and her expression changed. Her eyes softened and her lips parted. A million thoughts were reflected on her face, but I knew what she was feeling. She was falling in love with Slade even more. I only knew that because Cayson had given me that look countless times. It was something I wouldn’t forget as long as I lived.
Slade pulled her into his lap then crushed his mouth against hers. Their lips were stuck together, and I knew I was forgotten. I was so happy that my best friend had a man she loved more than life. But it just reminded me of what I lost. I got up and moved away.
Conrad and Roland were in the corner, laughing loudly. Beatrice was at his side but she was quiet. Roland hadn’t stopped talking about seeing Conrad for the past week. He was excited to the point of insanity. Seeing them together made me smile, which was hard to do. I just felt bad Beatrice was the third wheel.
“Seriously, they act like girls sometimes.” Silke was at my side, wearing a leather jacket.
“This is cute,” I said. “Where did you get it?”
She beamed. “Arsen got it for me.” She eyed him across the room. He was talking to Uncle Ryan, and they were both laughing.
“How did you meet?”
“It’s a long story. But we met about a year ago.”
“You’ve been dating him this whole time?” I asked.
“Yeah, but we didn’t get serious until recently.” She couldn’t stop smiling.
“Well, I’m happy for you.” I thought it was odd she never mentioned him but I wasn’t going to make the situation about myself.
“Thank you.” Her smile faded and sadness came into her eyes. “Are you doing okay?”
I took a deep breath, trying not to cry. Being around my family made me feel better. They showered me with love and support. But they also reminded me of what I was missing. “I’m taking it one day at a time.”
She nodded slightly. “I’m here if you need anything.”
“I know.”
She pulled me in for a hug and held me close. “Together or apart, I love you both.”
I stilled my breath so I wouldn’t cry. “Thank you.”
She pulled away and gave me a smile. “Now, let’s have fun and stop thinking about it.”
“That sounds nice.”
The front door opened and Cayson’s family entered. Clementine was wearing a red dress with black stockings, and she looked beautiful like always. His parents looked the same as they always did. Monnique was beautiful and exotic, and Cortland still reminded me of an old movie star.
But Cayson wasn’t there.
I was relieved but sad at the same time.
Cortland eyed me with a sad expression. Then he came over to me. “It’s nice to see you.” He pulled me in for a hug. “You’re lovely, like always.”
It meant the world to me that he treated me the same even though I wasn’t seeing Cayson anymore. “Thank you. Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas.”
Monnique hugged me next. “Your hair looks nice. Did you do something to it?”
“I got a haircut a few days ago.” Actually, Trinity made me. And made me eat and bathe.
“You look like a million bucks.” She kissed my cheek then walked away.
Clementine came up to me, sadness in her eyes. “I’m really bummed you and Cayson couldn’t work it out.”
My eyes bubbled with tears. I couldn’t speak so I just nodded.
She hugged me tightly. “It’ll be okay, Skye.”
I held onto her and stilled my emotions. “Why didn’t he come?”
She pulled away. “He said he had to study and finish his rotations…but we all know why.”
He didn’t come because of me. He didn’t want to see me.
He hated me.
Chapter Eight
Trinity
I left the bathroom and stopped when I reached a wall.
Slade was blocking my way, his height and size acting as a solid shadow.
“Were you listening to me pee?”
“What does it matter?” he asked. “I’ve seen you pee.”
There was no mystery to our relationship after my car accident. He saw everything that I wanted to hide. But it brought us close together. “Why are you lurking outside the bathroom like a weirdo?”
“I wanted to talk in private.”
I knew where this was going. “I’m not having sex with you right now.” Our parents were in the house, laughing and drinking. It would be suicide.
“That’s not what I had in mind, but good to know where you’re at.”
“What do you want?” I leaned against the doorframe.
“I want to ditch this lame party and take you back to my place, have some alone time on Christmas.”
“I don’t think we’ll be able to pull that off.”
“I do,” he said. “Our parents are drunk off their asses. No one will know we’re gone. Besides, I want to give you a present.”
I smiled. “A Christmas present?”
He nodded.
“Oooh…I like the sound of that.”
His arm moved around my waist and he kissed my neck gently. “Is that a yes?”
I closed my eyes and enjoyed his gentle kisses. My hands moved to his shoulders and I gripped him tightly. “If you do this when we get there, yes.”
He moved his lips to my ear. “I know what my baby likes.”
“Well, let’s slip out and hope we aren’t noticed.”
“I’m a master at that.” He took my hand and we snuck out the front door. Then we found his car in the snow and jumped inside. It was freezing cold but the heater kicked in and we were warm in a few minutes.
“Let’s head out.” Slade hit the road and we drove back to New York.
***
We walked inside the apartment and enjoyed the silence.
“Nice, huh?” Slade asked. He was all over me the second the door was bolted and locked.
“Yeah…”
“I miss having our own space.” He pushed me against a wall and kissed my neck. “I miss kissing you and touching you whenever I want.”
“Me too.” I dug my fingers into his hair.
He guided me to his room and to his bed.
“I thought you didn’t want sex?” I asked.
He undid his belt. “That was before I kissed your neck and listened to you enjoy it.” He pulled the rest of his clothes off then yanked mine away.
“I always enjoy what you do to me.” I wrapped my legs around his waist as he found my entrance. He felt amazing the moment he slipped inside. “There is no present, is there?”
“Actually, there is.” He moved inside me completely. “But you get it when I’m finished.”
“It sounds like you’re paying me for sex in gifts.”
He rocked into me and looked into my eyes. “I pay you with love.”
***
We cuddled in bed, something we hadn’t done in a long time.
“This is the best Christmas ever.” He pressed his face into my neck and wrapped his leg around mine.
“Because you got sex?”
“Because I get to hold you. It’s been so long.” He kissed my neck then lay still.
Slade was the sweetest man I’d ever been with. I never suspected him to be the best boyfriend I ever had either. He gave me the attention I needed, but gave me tough love when I deserved it. He balanced me and always satisfied me. “So…how about that gift?”
He chuckled then pulled away. He leaned over the bed and searched for something underneath. Then he pulled out a square package. It was terribly wrapped in reindeer wrapping paper. It was crinkled and lopsided.
