You Will Be Mine (Forever and Ever #7)

by E. L. Todd

  “You don’t have any money saved?”

  “I do,” he said quickly. “But I don’t want to blow it on rent when I don’t know when I’ll be making more.”

  I nodded in agreement.

  “So, how’s saving lives?”

  I went into a detailed account of my life at Stanford. Slade seemed bored most of the time but he listened anyway, knowing I needed the support.

  “Cool,” he said. “Have any of your patients died?”

  “Not yet, thankfully.”

  “Will you be kicked out if they do?”

  “No,” I said immediately. “We aren’t given critical patients until further down the road.”

  “Well, that’s a relief.”

  The tab came and Slade paid it.

  “Let’s split it.”

  “I got it, man.” Slade left the cash in the sleeve.

  “Slade, you don’t have to baby me,” I said firmly. “I’m okay.”

  “You don’t look okay,” he said bluntly.

  Sometimes I hated having a best friend. It was impossible to hide anything. “I’m hanging in there…”

  He nodded. “So…are you seeing anyone?”

  I laughed even though it was an inappropriate response. “No.”

  “You aren’t…fooling around with someone?”

  “No,” I said immediately. “You know that isn’t me.”

  He nodded then looked away.

  “Why do you ask?”

  “Just curious.” He became quiet and cut off.

  He was acting odd. He wouldn’t look at me and he was tense. Why was he being weird?

  “Ready to head out?” he asked.

  “Yeah…”

  We headed to my car then drove back to my apartment. My mind was thinking about Slade’s odd behavior. When we pulled into the parking lot and I killed the engine, it hit me.

  Skye was seeing someone.

  He was hoping I was seeing someone so the blow wouldn’t hurt so much. Thinking about Skye moving on and forgetting about me was nauseating. I wanted to blow my brains out just to escape the pain.

  Getting out of the car and walking to the apartment was harder than it ever had been. I just wanted to fall to the ground and curl into a ball. I couldn’t believe how pathetic I was. Why did Skye still affect me like this? Why did I still love her? She betrayed me in the worst way possible, and my heart still beat for hers.

  When we reached the top of the stairs, Slade sat down. “Let’s sit out here for a moment.”

  I stilled, realizing he was about to drop everything on me. I took a deep breath then sat beside him, feeling sick to my stomach. I wasn’t ready to face reality, to hear about Skye and her happy life.

  Slade was silent beside me, staring into the night. His pleasant mood was gone, replaced by a solemn silence.

  I decided to make the first move. “She’s seeing someone, isn’t she?”

  Slade turned his head toward me. “Why do you ask?”

  “Is she?” I pressed.

  “No.”

  When I breathed a sigh of relief, I felt shame. I shouldn’t care. I wasn’t supposed to.

  “You still love her?” he asked quietly.

  I didn’t look at him. “Would you judge me if I said yes?”

  “I would never judge you, man.”

  “Then what do you want to tell me?” I asked.

  “What makes you think I want to talk about anything?”

  I rested my arms on my knees. “Because we’re sitting outside in a stairwell.”

  He didn’t deny it. He rubbed the back of his neck while he gathered his thoughts.

  “Just tell me,” I whispered. “You can’t hurt me more than I already am.”

  Slade stared at the night sky for a while then rubbed his knuckles together. “I’ve been dreading this conversation because I have no idea how you’ll take it. If it’s anything like my reaction, you’ll be livid.”

  My pulse sped up.

  Slade kept trying to find the right words. He would open his mouth to speak then abruptly close it again.

  “It’s okay,” I said. “Just blurt it out.”

  He took a deep breath. He closed his eyes as he said it. “Skye didn’t cheat on you.”

  I stilled and listen to the echo of his words. I wasn’t sure if I heard it right. Did I just hallucinate it? Did my deepest and darkest wish come to the surface and I pretended he said the words I longed to hear? “Sorry?”

  He said it again. “Skye didn’t cheat on you. She lied.”

  My chest rose and fell quickly. My pulse hammered in my ears. Air was suddenly hard to come by. I felt elated but sick at the same time. My brain hurt. A migraine was forming. My heart was fluttering, treasuring the idea that she didn’t hurt me. “I…why do you say that?”

  “Trinity told me. She said they staged everything so you would believe it.” He stared at his hands while he spoke. “Skye was determined to make you go to Stanford and she decided to do anything to see that through—even hurt you.”

  I stood up even though I had nowhere to go. I just needed to move. I gripped the rail then relived my last conversation with Skye.

  It was all a lie.

  There was never anyone else.

  It was always just me.

  Then I replayed the last three months in my mind. She hadn’t called or reached out to me. She let me suffer in unspeakable pain. I could barely get out of bed every morning. I cried in the shower because I couldn’t control my emotions.

  Slade stood up slowly and watched me.

  “Why are you telling me this and not her?” I whispered.

  “She doesn’t know I’m here…she refused to tell you herself. Trinity intervened and came to me.”

  “So…she still wants me to believe her lie?” My teeth ground together.

  “Yeah…” He watched me with a worried expression.

  The fact all this pain could have been avoided made my skin burn in anger. The fact she threw us away and made me believe such a lie made me want to destroy my building. I could have gone the rest of my life not knowing the truth.

  How could she do this?

  I marched up the stairs and to my door.

  “What are you doing?” Slade asked.

  I stormed into my apartment and practically sprinted into my room.

  “Whoa…what happened?” Mitchell said.

  Slade came behind me then walked into my bedroom. “What are you doing?”

  I grabbed a bag and stuffed it with whatever clothes I could find. “What does it look like I’m doing?” I snapped. “I’m going back to New York to give her a piece of my mind.” I turned to him and gripped my skull. “She can’t break my heart like this and get away with it. No, it doesn’t work like that.” I was screaming at Slade even though he did nothing wrong. “She’s not getting away with it.” I zipped up my bag and stormed past him.

  Slade wordlessly followed me.

  “What the hell is going on?” Mitchell stood up.

  “Cayson will be back in a few days,” Slade explained.

  “We got rotations tomorrow.” Mitchell crossed his arms over his chest.

  “I’m not going!” I walked out the front door then slammed it so hard it broke the door handle.

  “Eh, I’ll replace that.” Slade came after me.

  I headed to the airport, my heart pounding and my insides burning.

  Chapter Twelve

  Conrad

  I was sitting on my couch drinking a beer when someone knocked on my door. I turned off the TV then looked through the peephole.

  Beatrice was on the other side, wearing a red scarf with a black pea coat. My heart accelerated every time I saw her. Excitement flushed through me and I opened the door quickly. “Hey.”

  “Hi.” She gave me a warm smile. “Sorry to barge in…”

  “Don’t worry about it. You’re welcome to come over whenever you want.”

  “Thanks.” She stepped inside then I closed the door
behind her. “I hope I wasn’t interrupting anything.”

  “Just drinking and watching TV.”

  “Sounds productive,” she teased.

  “Hey, men will be men, right?”

  “So if you came over and I was sipping tea and knitting, you would say women will be women?”

  “Actually, I would ask when you had your seventy-fifth birthday. Knitting and drinking tea?”

  She laughed. “I guess I’ve always been an old soul.”

  “Wait, you actually knit?”

  She felt her scarf with her fingers. “Yep.”

  “Wow, that’s cool.”

  “Really?” she asked.

  “Really.” I sat on the couch. “So what brings you here? Want to watch a movie?”

  She sat beside me then got uncomfortable. She fidgeted in place, her hands constantly moving. “Actually, I wanted to ask you something…”

  “Okay.” I patiently waited for her to speak. In the deep recesses of my heart, I hoped she wanted to ask me out on a date, or something more intimate than what we normally did. After talking to Theo, I couldn’t help but wonder if there was a chance for something more.

  “Deana is having a Valentine’s Day party and she’s making me go. It’s a singles thing where you show up and play games to find your most suitable partner…”

  Where was this going?

  “I was hoping you’d go with me—as my date.”

  My heart jumped to life but I tried to contain it. I didn’t want to get my hopes up then crash and burn. “Because…?”

  “I just want to be left alone. If people think you’re my boyfriend, they won’t bother me.”

  “I can act like your boyfriend.” I said it a little too willingly.

  ‘Thanks.” She crossed her legs and stopped fidgeting with her hands.

  “Were you planning on staying?”

  “If I’m welcome.”

  “You’re always welcome,” I said. “Want to watch a movie?”

  “Sure.”

  “We already watched all of Star Wars but we can find something else.”

  “How about a Disney movie?” she asked.

  “The Lion King?”

  “That’s my favorite,” she said with wide eyes.

  “What do you know? Mine too.” I popped the move in then we sat on the couch and watched it. She grabbed herself a water then returned to the couch. But this time, she moved to the seat directly next to me.

  Theo’s words kept playing in my mind. Friends didn’t hold hands but we did. Did that mean something? Did I mean something to her? I wished I could just ask her. It would give my racing mind a break.

  Halfway through the movie, she scooted closer to me then rested her head on my shoulder. Her arm hooked through mine then she placed her hand on my palm.

  I liked her affection and feeling her lean on me like a crutch. I liked watching movies with her and spending time with her. She quickly became my best friend, the person I spent most of my time with. Theo was great, and Silke was always decent company, but Beatrice filled a void none of them could, not even Roland.

  What was happening? What was I feeling? What did this mean?

  I was still insanely attracted to her and thought she was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen but I didn’t think of her sexually anymore. Now when I looked at her, I noticed the shape of her upper lip. I noticed the way her hair shined in the sun. I paid attention to what she said and how she said it. I looked into her eyes and memorized the way they shined in the moonlight. I noticed everything about her, down to her smell.

  Why did this feel differently than it did a few months ago? Was it me? Or was it her? I feared I would never know.

  ***

  I arrived at her door wearing slacks and a collared shirt. I wore a red tie to acknowledge the holiday. I hoped she would appreciate it.

  She opened the door wearing a black fitted dress with sky-high heels. Her hair was pulled back into an elaborate up do, and the make up on her face highlighted her features. She dazzled me the moment I laid eyes on her.

  I’d seen her dress up before, but it was nothing like it was now. She looked like a supermodel about to take the runway.

  “Conrad?”

  I was snapped out of my thoughts. “Uh, sorry?”

  “I said you look nice.”

  “Oh.” I look nice? Ha. “You look…beautiful.” I was careful with my words around her, afraid I might scare her away if I told her how attracted I was to her. I could go on for three days straight about how gorgeous she was. She was humble and secretive. She didn’t like to be under the spotlight. Her beauty seemed to be a curse, not a gift.

  “Thank you.” Her cheeks blushed slightly.

  I walked her to my truck then got her inside before we drove to the house. “You know, you can just say no.”

  “Sorry?” she asked.

  “When Deana drags you to stuff like this, you can just say no. You aren’t obligated to come.”

  “I know…but it’s important to her.”

  She was selfless when it came to the people she cared about. It was something I noticed a long time ago. “Well, let’s try to have a good time.”

  “Okay.” She smiled then got out of the car.

  Once we walked inside, romantic music was overhead, and Valentine’s Day decorations were everywhere. People mingled in the crowd and helped themselves to drinks. Everyone was dressed nice for the occasion.

  “You look gorgeous,” Deana said. She spotted me. “Good, you brought him too. Excellent.” She walked away and then spoke to a few more people.

  “So, what do we do?” I asked.

  She shrugged. “I think we grab a name tag.”

  We walked over and examined them. You were supposed to write down your favorite hobby as a conversation starter.

  She sighed then scribbled her answer.

  I knew what it was without even looking. I wrote mine down then pressed it onto my shirt.

  She did the same.

  Deana came out of nowhere then grabbed my arm. “Perfect. You come over here.” She brought me face-to-face with a blonde. When I read her nametag, it said she liked to play basketball. We had a common interest.

  I looked back at Beatrice and saw her forced into a quiet conversation with a tall man with blue eyes. Knowing I would be separated from Beatrice, I turned back to the woman and engaged her in conversation.

  She turned out to be pretty cool, loving to play basketball like I did. She played in high school but quit in college. She was pretty and had a nice body but she didn’t do anything for me. Beatrice was the most gorgeous woman in this room—hands down.

  When I was talking to a different girl, Beatrice caught my eye from across the room. Some guy was talking her ear off and she didn’t look entertained. She kept eyeing me, silently asking me to come to her rescue.

  “Please excuse me.” I left the girl then headed to her side.

  Beatrice looked relieved once I was near. Her eyes flashed in green light and her body became less stiff.

  When I reached her, I didn’t touch her. I just made my presence known to her admirer.

  Beatrice wanted more. She grabbed my hand and forced it around her waist.

  I’d never touched her that way before, and it felt odd that it felt so right. Her slim waist was easy to get around, and her hip was perfect for my hand to rest on. Our height difference was obvious but I liked being so much taller than her. I especially liked knowing she wanted me to act like her boyfriend, to claim her when a guy was being too aggressive.

  The guy stopped in mid-sentence when he caught our affection. “Uh, I’ll catch you later…” He walked away, his shoulders slumped and his sadness evident.

  Beatrice breathed a sigh of relief but didn’t pull away from me.

  I felt special being the one she ran to. Every guy here wanted her but I was the only one who got any of her time. She trusted me. “If you hate it that much, why do you come?”

  She looked
up at me with bright eyes and full lips. “It’s important to Deana…”

  “That you be hit on when you don’t want to be?” I asked incredulously.

  “She needs as many people as she can at these things…and she’s always pestering me about loosening up.”

  “If I were you, I would just tell her no. End of story.”

  “Really?” she asked.

  “You obviously hate being the center of attention. Your beauty is a curse, not a gift.”

  She gave me a look I’d never seen before. Her eyes searched my face and she seemed thoughtful. She didn’t move away from me but she didn’t speak. Her mind was racing, her thoughts unknown. “I’m glad someone finally understands…”

  “I noticed it a long time ago.” I kept my hand on her hip, loving to pretend she was mine.

  “The only guys I attract are the ones who are looking for a beautiful woman, and it’s usually because they only want something…physical. No one takes the time to see what’s underneath or get to know me. I hate it…”

  My eyes fell in sadness at her words. Silence hung in the air while I studied her beautiful face. When I first saw her, all I could think about was taking her on my sheets. I didn’t care what her interests or hobbies were.

  I was such a dick.

  “What’s wrong?” she whispered.

  I pushed the thought away. “Nothing. Would you like a drink?”

  “Just a water, please.”

  I turned my back on her and walked away, wanting a moment alone. She was such a nice person who was beautiful and wonderful. If I’d just taken a moment to look past her appearance, I would have seen something more beautiful underneath.

  I was grateful I settled on her friendship months ago and didn’t try to get anything more from her. Her friendship was more than she gave any other person on this earth and I felt special. I felt the need to apologize to her even though she had no idea what my original intentions were.

  After I took a deep breath, I came back to her. “Here you go.”

  “Thank you.” She took a long drink and released a sigh.

  I drank my scotch, wanting to take the edge off.

  “Why aren’t you mingling?” Deana snapped.

  Beatrice opened her mouth to respond but Deana already walked away.

  I chuckled. “She’s…interesting.”