No Good Deed

by Leigh Barker

The bundle in the blue blanket was addressed to a nest where the ground becomes white and the air is very cold. Well, it had already done that, and still the journey would have continued. And the one in pink was addressed to a nest even farther north than that, where there is year-round snow and ice. A lovely place to live. It was not to be, not this day. But no one would notice a slight delay. Unexpected bundle deliveries were exactly that; unexpected. It would be sunny another day and she would drop the bundles into their new homes. And then there would be the usual, Oh, I had no idea I was pregnant, and a lot of rushing around. True, she had no idea what the tall beings said, or who they rushed off to fetch, but she’d hung around a few times, back in the early days, and seen all the fuss. Struck her then, as it struck her now, as a lot of nonsense about nothing. Noisy, smelly beings, welcoming more noisy, smelly beings. If she had her way, she—

  An arrow zipped past her ear with barely a feather-width to spare. She swore a long storkish curse, snapped her big wings and climbed high and right. She didn’t know what an arrow was, but she did know that sharp, fast-moving things had adverse effects on her flying efficiency if they coincided with her. Flying straight and level and daydreaming weren’t great tactics for avoiding sharp flying things, so she slipped right and dropped fast, weaving among the treetops, a trick that worked well enough against eagles, hawks, and other annoying creatures.

  Today had started out crappy and it just got worse and worse as it wore on. But now she was left with a dilemma. The two noisy beings were getting even noisier now she’d had to take rapid evasive action. And the screaming was going right through her.

  She checked her delivery manifest. There, this afternoon’s drop-off was for two bundles, both blue, but who would notice? It could work. Why not? One noisy, smelly creature looks very much like another. And one thing was certain—well, two in fact. She wasn’t going back into that storm any time soon. And the other thing? Err… oh yes. She wasn’t going to take the bundles back to the depot and get all those disapproving looks and whispered comments. So…

  She levelled off, checked her position by the magnetic north and adjusted her flight path towards the big, sprawling mess off to the left, with its clusters of nests and tall, smoking hollow trees.

  From her vantage point high over the triple cities of Trinity, she could see its layout like a Google map. There at the end of the wide glade, by the tall, shiny nests, was the delivery address where this afternoon’s surprise delivery was due. A single drop-off of two bundles. She looked down at the pink- and blue-wrapped beings swinging from her beak. Well, there were two here. And the screaming was giving her a migraine. But since she’d already made her decision, the justification was academic.

  She slowed and descended, switched into stealth mode, and glided towards the nests. She cross-checked her internal schedule against the nest configurations and saw the one she needed. A tall nest attached to other tall nests, all having three levels of entry holes at the side, instead of an open top, like normal nests. These beings were truly weird.

  She selected the top entry hole, as per the schedule, flared her wings and settled silently onto the wide landing log in front of the opening. The inside was dark, which served them right for building such faulty nests. Her eyes adjusted to the dim light and she saw a pile of flattened grass in the corner, covering a tall being. She’d seen this before. This was the female, though it was hard to tell for sure, as they all looked alike.

  Still in stealth mode, she hopped down into the dark nest and moved silently across the strangely covered floor. A little more hurriedly than the training specified, she lifted the flat grass covering the being, flipped open the pink and blue bundles, and rolled the babies into the darkness. Three steps and she was out of that dark and smelly place, just as she heard the start of the inevitable commotion. Oh, for a little peace and quiet, and a nice herring.

  After a quiet and smell-free return trip, she’d rested in her nest back at despatch and caught her breath, but was still tired, and there was still those two bundles for this afternoon’s shift. Snag was, their place in their nest was already occupied by cuckoos. But after a nice fish lunch and a nap, she felt able to make the second flight of the day. Officially, a single drop of two bundles in the big nest cluster. She didn’t mention to the dispatcher that there was going to be a change of delivery address. No point confusing the poor old bird. She took the two blue bundles and headed north, drifting on warm thermals and enjoying the day that was extra bright and clear after the awful storm.

  There were no more sharp flying sticks as she circled high above the forest to the east of the big nest cluster and watched the bundles bounce in her beak. What to do with them? She couldn’t just hide them under a bush, they were noisy and smelly, but leaving them for wolf lunch wasn’t really an option. Was it? No, probably not. No, definitely not. Anyway, somebody might find out and she’d be in big trouble. Might even lose her pension, and who can live on donated fish these days? There had to be something. Then she saw the column of smoke drifting up through the trees and knew exactly what it meant. A nest.

  She swooped down over the river and followed it around a bend to a clearing in the trees and a small wooden nest. She settled on a high branch and watched the nest for any hidden sharp-stick shooters, but saw only one being covered in a mass of black feathers, with a tall cone on her head. Another female. Probably.

  Females liked the bundles best. Decision made. She waited for the being to go into the nest, then drifted down to the entrance and looked inside. It was darker than any nest she’d visited and smelled of vaguely familiar herbs and flowers. There was no way she was going in there, not even in stealth mode.

  She looked at the bundles, probably getting ready for more screaming. She laid them down next to the door and started to move away, but stopped. One female being in there. Two bundles. She sighed a stork sigh, picked up one of the bundles and rolled the other into the nest and rose into the blue sky with a single, silent beat of her wings. One… err… delivered. But one left. Wolf lunch?

  She drifted over the dark woods and pondered what to do. This whole thing was turning out to be more complicated than she’d expected. The wolf lunch was out of the question, because that would involve landing in the woods, and woods, dark or otherwise, were to be avoided at all costs. Directive One of the Stork Survival Manual.

  More smoke rolled heavenwards off to her right. It was bright yellow, but that didn’t strike her as odd. These beings she delivered the bundles to were always doing strange things, and yellow smoke was no stranger than some of the things they did. But just to be sure, she avoided the smoke as she settled in a tree and watched the small nest from across a clearing littered with strange contraptions. She’d seen contraptions before and had no love of them. Mostly they captured, killed, or ate you. None of which she particularly fancied this fine afternoon.

  A being was beating one of the contraptions with a stick, and she supposed it had misbehaved and deserved it. This being had pale blue feathers with moons and stars on them, but she declined to even try to guess what for. It was probably a male. As it was beating something smaller than itself with a stick.

  Not an ideal drop-offer for the bundle, but better than wolf lunch, well, at least a lot less risky. For her.

  The contraption beater grunted, threw away his stick and stamped into the nest. This was her moment. She switched to stealth mode as a precaution. A being who beats a contraption would have no compunction about beating her. And there was no shortage of sticks in the forest.

  She rolled the last bundle into the nest, turned and took off as fast as she could. Away from sticks. And yellow smoke. She glided south in the warm afternoon sunshine, proud of another job well done.

  In the executive, detached residence overlooking the Senate gardens, there was much, Oh, I had no idea I was pregnant, and a lot of rushing around, as predicted. But mostly, there was just joy, tinged with the worry of choosing the right school and the right career for the li
ttle dears.

  In the tiny house by the river and the ramshackle shack in the woods, there was utter bewilderment.