Alix & Valerie

by Ingrid Diaz

  “I’m sure you can still catch it,” she replied.

  I nodded to the bag. “So what’d you buy me? Toilet paper or hand soap?”

  “Neither.” She handed the bag over. “Enjoy.”

  Inside was a magazine with Catherine Zeta Jones on the cover. “Oooh . . . purdy,” I said, petting the picture.

  That’s when I remembered that Jessica and Jade were still there.

  Ò

  I never thought I would miss Florida but the moment I caught sight of the ocean, it felt good to be back. So far it had been an overly productive day. I’d returned from New York, gotten my apartment back, gotten my old job back, and last but not least . . . I’d made a lunch date with Jessica.

  Who knew one could accomplish so many things in the course of a few hours? I still didn’t have a car but that was something better left until tomorrow. For now I was content to sit on the sand and stare at the rapidly darkening waters of the Atlantic.

  “Guess I’ll have to add this to my list of places to find you.”

  I smiled at the voice and turned to find Alix walking toward me. “How did you know I would be here?” I asked, pleasantly surprised. We’d parted ways a few hours prior with no plans for the remainder of the night.

  She took a seat beside me and stared straight ahead. “I didn’t. I was on my way back to my car when I saw you sitting here. Lucky for me you’re pretty easy to spot.”

  “Lucky for me too,” I said, feeling happy all of a sudden. We sat there quietly for a few minutes, enjoying the cool breeze blowing in from the ocean and reveling in the beauty of sunsets. But I was curious, so I broke the silence. “So, what brings you by?”

  “Few things,” Alix said. “First of all, I wanted to know if you were okay . . . being back and all?”

  I shrugged, then leaned back on my elbows. “Aside from not having a car, everything’s good. I got my job back at Whispers.”

  “I was worried about how much you gave up before you left here,” she said, a bit shyly. “I didn’t want you to be homeless or something.”

  Her concern made me smile. “I wouldn’t have returned then.”

  She nodded. “What are you going to do about getting a car?”

  “Don’t know yet,” I admitted. “I suppose I can buy one. I’ll be working more hours at Whispers now that I won’t be going to school part-time.”

  This caught her attention and she looked at me with concern. “You dropped out?”

  “I don’t really have the time right now.”

  She frowned at this. “You should always make time to do something you love.”

  “I’ll still be painting,” I assured her. “Just can’t deal with school right now. Maybe next semester.”

  Alix nodded and absently played with the sand. I could tell she was attempting to find the courage to say something. Finally, she asked, “Are you still considering Baldwin?”

  Her question surprised me. I hadn’t thought about it in a while. It had been a nice thought . . . but it had never been one I’d honestly expected to go through with. “I don’t know.” It was my turn to hesitate. “I suppose it would be up to you.”

  “Up to me?” she asked in confusion, the sand momentarily forgotten. “Why up to me?”

  “Because I don’t know if you would still want me to go there,” I explained. The last thing I wanted was for Alix to think I was trying to suffocate her. I didn’t want to seem clingy.

  “I would love for you to go there!” she said, and her voice carried with it such resolve that I found myself smiling.

  “Then I guess I’m still considering it,” I said.

  “Good,” she replied, then resumed playing with the sand. After a few moments of silence she said, “The other reason I came by was to ask a strange favor of you.”

  My eyebrows rose. “Okay.”

  She appeared a bit embarrassed as she turned to address me directly, but her embarrassment was not enough to conceal her excitement. “I got a call from my agent about this audition that’s coming up in a few weeks. It’s for a film set in Miami. Anyway, the lead role is a girl who’s a martial artist and they are looking for someone who already has some knowledge in the area. So I was wondering if . . . uh . . .” She trailed off momentarily. “If you could help train me,” she finished quickly.

  That was probably the last thing I’d expected to hear, but I welcomed the surprise. “Sounds like a great opportunity.”

  She stared at me expectantly.

  I almost laugh at the look on her face. “Of course I’ll help you. I’d be honored to. Just remember to thank me when you’re accepting your first Academy Award.”

  She laughed and hugged me tightly. And I knew at that moment that she could’ve asked for my left arm and I would’ve gladly given it to her.

  Ò

  “So what’s good here?” I asked, looking down at the The Olive Garden menu. True to her word, Jessica had picked me up at precisely one o’clock. I’d been surprised to learn that she drove a red Camaro. For some reason I’d expected a Ferrari or Lamborghini or even a limousine. I doubted I’d ever understand this woman.

  “Everything’s good,” Jessica said.

  “All righty then,” I said, scanning the menu for something that looked appealing. Truth be told, my stomach was in so many knots I doubted very much I’d be able to eat anything I ordered. After much debating, I finally settled on a salad. I wasn’t sure which one. I just pointed to something on the list when the waitress came to take the order.

  When we were once again alone, I struggled to think of something to say. Finally, I settled on what was on my mind. “Why did you ask me to lunch?”

  Jessica sat back, as if my question required deep contemplation. After a few seconds she said, “I’m not sure.” The way she said it made it seem like a confession. And I supposed it was on some level.

  “Jade spoke to me already about hurting Alix, if that’s what you wanted to talk about,” I said.

  Jessica shook her head. “I know you won’t hurt her.”

  “Oh?” I asked, surprised that she could sound so certain of something that even I wasn’t altogether sure of.

  “You came back,” she said simply. “I didn’t think you would.”

  “Alix is hard to resist,” I told her with a shrug. I looked down, feigning interest in the pattern of the tiles. “I only left because—” I stopped abruptly, remembering who I was talking to. I had no intention of opening up to her.

  “It’s hard for you, isn’t it?” Jessica inquired.

  “What is?” I asked, avoiding her gaze.

  “Seeing me as a real person,” Jessica replied sadly.

  Her tone forced me to look up. “No. What’s hard is wanting to hate you and not being sure why.”

  “It wasn’t my fault,” she stated, and the way she halted slightly between words made me realize that it had taken her a long time to come to terms with that fact.

  I suddenly felt ashamed to realize that I hadn’t made that much progress. I blamed her for something that had been completely out of her control. What was I jealous of exactly?

  “I know,” I said, surprising myself. “Maybe I have trouble accepting that sometimes . . . but I do know it.”

  She nodded, suddenly at a loss. “I’m not entirely sure where to go from here. When Alix told me you’d left, I was selfishly glad that I wouldn’t have to deal with this issue. I could just pretend it had never happened. Denial is easier.”

  I nodded, not wanting to interrupt in case she had more to say.

  “But then I saw how sad Alix looked and how determined she was to find you and I was torn between wishing to never see you again and hoping you’d change your mind and come bursting through the door.” She sighed. “I’m glad you came back.”

  “For Alix?” I guessed.

  She nodded. “Mostly.” Then she shrugged. “But I think for me, too.”

  I absorbed this information, unsure of what it meant exactly, but willing to give what
ever it was a try. “Can I ask you something? And you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”

  “Go ahead.”

  “You said at the airport that you would give anything for Alix’s happiness. You knew she was in love with you. Why didn’t you . . . ?”

  “Because I’m not good enough for her,” she responded easily.

  “So you do love her,” I said, my heart sinking slightly.

  “Very much so,” she admitted. “Maybe not in the way that she wanted me to. Though who knows? But love her I do. Some things are just not meant to be.”

  I sat back, feeling defeated. If Jessica didn’t find herself worthy of Alix, then why should I? Perhaps I should’ve stayed in New York after all. Allowed Alix to get on with her life, find someone who deserved her love.

  “Whatever you’re thinking, please stop,” Jessica said. “You look seriously pained at the moment. Look, I wasn’t trying to imply that you’re not good enough for her either. That’s not why I said that.”

  “So, do you think I’m good enough for her?” I asked, locking our gazes.

  She smiled. “I don’t think I’ll ever think anyone is good enough for her. But she seems to think you’re worth dropping everything for . . . and that’s good enough for me.”

  Our food arrived then, interrupting the flow of conversation. I was pleased to note that my appetite had returned and the salad before me looked mighty tasty.

  At some point during the course of our meal, I found myself asking, “Were you surprised that she forgave me?”

  Jessica looked up from her food, an amused expression on her face. “Frustrated, yes. But not surprised. I knew she would.”

  “How did you know that?”

  “Because that’s what she does.”

  The way she said it sparked my curiosity and before I could think twice about it, I asked, “Has she ever had to forgive you for something?”

  Jessica sighed, her gaze on her food. “Yes. But you’ll have to ask her about that.”

  I left it at that, returning to my salad.

  “Halloween is coming up next week,” Jessica said casually and the change of topic was welcomed.

  I realized then that she was testing me. “So what are you getting her?”

  “What am I getting whom?” she said.

  “Alix for her birthday,” I clarified, though she knew exactly what I meant.

  Jessica smiled. “Good. You know when her birthday is. That’s always a good sign.”

  For a moment I thought she was patronizing me, but then I realized she was merely joking around. I relaxed a bit.

  “I’m throwing her a surprise birthday party this weekend, if you’re interested in assisting me.”

  “Count me in.” If it involved Alix, I was gladly there.

  “Cool,” Jessica said.

  The word seemed so strange coming from her lips that I found myself laughing. I almost stopped myself . . . but didn’t. From here on end everything would be different. I would be different.

  Chapter 6

  Alix

  My fingers played absently with the ring in my hands. The maze design stared up at me in a mocking fashion, reminding me of all the twists and turns my life had taken recently. I wondered if perhaps that was why Valerie liked the movie so much. Maybe she sometimes felt trapped in a labyrinth she couldn’t escape from.

  Or maybe she just had the hots for Jennifer Connelly. One or the other.

  I lifted my head and stared at the ocean beyond the balcony of Jessica’s bedroom. I’d been waiting for her for over an hour and no one seemed to know where she was.

  “Alix?”

  I turned around, quickly placing the ring in my pocket. I don’t know why I didn’t want Jessica to see it. “Hey, Jess,” I greeted her, stepping into the room. “I came to see if you wanted to get lunch.”

  Jessica looked uncomfortable for whatever reason. “Ah, no thanks. I just ate.”

  “Oh, okay.”

  “Were you waiting long?” She walked to the closet and turned on the light. Then disappeared inside.

  I leaned against the back of the couch. “About an hour or so,” I called after her. “Where were you, anyway? No one would tell me.”

  “Lunch,” she answered, from somewhere in the closet.

  “I believe we established that,” I reminded her. “With whom were you dining?”

  There was a long pause, then, “Uh, Mathew.”

  I frowned at the answer, knowing it to be a lie. I’d seen Mathew earlier. Then he’d left for class. Now why would Jessica lie? “Oh, really?” I asked, playing along. “Where did you guys go?”

  Jessica reappeared at the doorway and turned the light off. She’d changed into a pair of light blue jeans and a white shirt. “We went to The Olive Garden.”

  “Ah. That’s nice that after all of these years together the two of you still take time to go out for lunch.”

  She smiled, but I could tell she seemed troubled. Jessica was a horrible liar. Even if I hadn’t spoken to Mathew earlier, I would’ve known that she was lying. I sincerely hoped Jessica wasn’t having an affair already. It had only been a few weeks since the wedding. “Yeah,” she agreed, walking past me on her way to the balcony.

  I followed close behind. “Especially since Mathew had to skip one of his classes to join you. That was mighty sweet of him.”

  Jessica avoided my gaze at all costs as she took a seat on one of the lounge chairs. “Yeah,” she said, then must have realized she’d already said that and added, “It was.”

  I didn’t say anything for a few seconds, hoping she’d come to her senses or at least come up with a better lie than that. But she didn’t say anything. I rolled my eyes as I sat across from her. “Oh, come on, Jessica. I know you weren’t out to lunch with Mathew because he was here when I arrived.”

  Jessica nodded, resigned. “Valerie.”

  I looked around. “Where?” Then I realized. “You had lunch with Valerie?”

  “Yep.”

  “Huh,” I said, sitting back. “That’s interesting. She didn’t tell me.” Then I remembered how Jessica had lied about it and I figured that neither of them wanted to admit they didn’t completely hate each other. I kept myself from smiling somehow. “Well, thanks for telling me. For a moment I was starting to think you were cheating on Mathew.”

  Jessica laughed. “It’s nice to know you think so highly of me. I would never do that.”

  She said the last part more seriously than she probably intended.

  “Well, I don’t know, Jess,” I said. “Maybe married life was finally getting to you. The pressures of living with the same person day in and day out, waking up next to them every morning . . .” Actually, that didn’t sound particularly bad. I wouldn’t mind waking up to Valerie every morning.

  “Al, you trailed off there,” Jessica informed me.

  I attempted to backtrack through my thoughts. “What was I talking about? Perhaps I’m getting Alzheimer’s at the age of twenty.”

  “Almost twenty-one,” she reminded me.

  Oh, right. It was a good thing there were people around who remembered such things as my birthday. I could always remember everyone else’s but mine always seemed to slip my mind. Perhaps I was still in denial that I’d been born at all. “I’m going to have a burial service for my fake ID.”

  “I’ll make the invitations.”

  “Thanks. So, what are you doing for dinner?” I asked.

  “Eating seems likely,” Jessica answered.

  “Wanna double?” Actually, I wasn’t entirely sure I could double, seeing as I hadn’t spoken to Valerie since the day before. But I was pretty sure she was off and the girl had to eat.

  Jessica thought it over, probably trying to decide whether or not she felt like spending two consecutive meals with Valerie. Finally, she shrugged. “I’ll run it by Mathew.”

  I stood. “Very well then. I’ll go run it by Valerie.”

  Ò

  “Well, the f
irst thing we gotta do,” Valerie was saying, “is get you to start running.” We were in her apartment, sitting on the couch, flipping through the channels on the TV. Since there was nothing on, we’d started talking about the training.

  I stared at her, mouth agape. “Run? Me, run? Uh-uh. No way, Jose. I’ll do those things where you jump around flailing your arms in the air—”

  “Jumping Jacks?”

  “Whatever. And I’ll do the push-up thingies. I’ll even lift a weight or two. But I will not run.” I crossed my arms against my chest to further prove my point.

  Valerie studied me for a moment. “Do you want this part or not?” she asked, quite seriously.

  “Yes,” I admitted, guessing what was coming.

  “Then you’ve gotta run,” she told me. “But if it makes you feel better, I’m running with you.”

  This could be interesting. “Really?”

  “Yeah, I should start exercising again,” she said simply. “I can’t let myself get out of shape. Especially if I want to start teaching again.”

  I looked at her in surprise. “Teach?”

  She nodded and smiled. “Yeah, ever since you asked me to train you I started thinking about maybe going back to teaching Karate or Tae Kwon Do. I did it for a while in New York when I lived there and it was great.”

  “Sounds excellent. You must be really good, then.” We’d never really talked about her martial arts abilities. It somehow seemed interconnected with a past she appeared more than a little hesitant to talk about. But I was so incredibly curious to know everything about her.

  Valerie simply shrugged and let the comment slide.

  I decided to press on. “So, you could like, kick someone’s ass, right?”

  She grinned crookedly as she faced me. Her blue eyes shone with amusement. “Yes, I can.”

  I nodded. “Could you kill someone?”

  Her amusement vanished instantly, and she turned her head away. Her gaze was focused on the TV but she seemed to be looking through it. “Yeah,” she replied softly.