Slow Heat
Page 26
The air between them seemed to crackle and then Urho smiled warmly, like he had a right to greet Jason like a host in Jason’s omega’s front yard.
“Well, this is a surprise!” he called, motioning at Jason’s filthy work clothes and the sweat running down the side of his face. “I didn’t imagine you were the kind of alpha to actually do the work for his omega. I figured you’d try to buy his happiness. I’m impressed.”
Jason abandoned his wheelbarrow and ignored the curious glances from Mox and his crew. He tossed aside his work gloves as he advanced toward Urho without a smile. “Is Vale expecting you?” He came to a halt in front of Urho and crossed his arms over his chest.
“No. I thought I’d drop by. I wanted to see how he was holding up after negotiations yesterday.” Urho’s brows lowered as he observed Jason closely. “Should I be worried about him?”
Jason glanced over his shoulder to where the men were dumping the content of the wheelbarrows into the truck and then looked toward the house at the lace curtains waving in an open window upstairs. Was it Vale’s room? He didn’t know. There was a lot he didn’t know about Vale. And maybe Urho was his rival in one way, but in a much bigger way he wasn’t. He cared about Vale, too, wanted him safe and happy, and he knew Vale better than most anyone. He’d been his lover after all.
Swallowing his pride, Jason met Urho’s gaze. “I don’t know if you should be worried, but I am. I’m worried about everything, actually.”
Urho’s brows creased even more deeply and he gripped Jason’s shoulder, peering at him like he could see right into his mind. He shot a glance toward the beta workers, taking their measure, and then smiled gently down at Jason. “Are you hungry? Lunch time is coming up. I’d planned to ask Vale to join me, but you look like you could use some advice.”
Jason peered toward the house. He’d thought he might get another chance alone with Vale to talk things through, but at this point he didn’t even know what he could say.
Urho followed his gaze. “I was going to ask him to head over to Alamanga Avenue with me to eat at one of the filthy food booths he loves so much. I’m sure he doesn’t have anything decent inside. Or if he does, it’s barely enough for himself. Why don’t we walk over to Alamanga together? We can talk and grab some lunch. Then you can win points with Vale by bringing him a grilled sundried tomato and goat cheese sandwich. That’s a favorite of his.”
A pang of jealousy rang in him that Urho knew Vale’s favorites and he didn’t, but he smiled and nodded his gratitude. “Yeah, that sounds good. Are you sure you want to? Wouldn’t you rather spend the time with Vale?”
“If I know Vale, he won’t let me help him without a fight. You’re his alpha, whether I like it or not, and it’s your responsibility now to handle his moods.” He smiled at Jason. “Believe me, you’ll need all the practice you can get.”
Jason took lunch orders from Mox and his crew, chuckling under his breath at the size of some of their orders. They’d probably been barely satisfied by Vale’s sandwich and pineapple slices the other day, he mused. And he’d been too distracted by Vale’s everything to think about it.
The walk to Alamanga was enjoyable. The weather was brisk but not too cold, and the pale sunlight warmed their shoulders and the tops of their heads. Urho kept the conversation light on the way over, asking Jason about what he and Mox had planned for Vale’s back garden.
“As a courting gesture, it’s a nice one, but how long will it take to see the fruits of your labor?” Urho asked as they walked across the Middleton Bridge, passing into the part of town set aside for beta-run businesses. The colorful signs declaring sales on everything from books to wedding suits were their own kind of garden, holding onto brightness even as winter came on quickly.
“This spring and summer the garden might not be as beautiful as it will be, but by next year it should be more mature. I think Vale will enjoy it.” Jason loved working outside even though Father complained that it made his trousers dirty, and he had plenty of ideas for cross-breeding experiments he wanted to do with various flowers of similar species.
“So you’re planning to live in his house then?” Urho asked, obviously surprised. “It seems a step down for a man of your family’s status.”
“If Vale likes his house, I don’t see why we should sell it. I’m only nineteen. I don’t need to start worrying about my place in society yet. We can make our home happily in his house and then, when I’m older, we can move if we want to do that.”
His heart twisted and a dread fell on him like a heavy blanket. It felt like bad luck to speak of his dreams of their life together to Urho when he hadn’t talked to Vale about them yet. Especially when Vale seemed so hostile the last few days.
“Vale is a homebody for the most part. Not that he doesn’t have a wild streak in him, because he definitely does.” Urho’s lips pressed together, and he cleared his throat. “So, what are your family’s plans for the Feast of the Expectant Wolf tonight?”
“Vale was supposed to come, but after negotiations yesterday he bowed out, saying the feast is for close family only and he didn’t know if we’d ever be that.” The pain in his chest made him catch his breath. “What are your plans for the night?”
Urho sent him a sharp, perceptive look, but as he waved at a beta shopkeeper sweeping the sidewalk in front of a store, he let the moment go. “Since I lost Riki, I don’t do too much on this night. But I’ve been invited to Zim’s house for the evening as a thanks for helping with his brother’s heat. It will start next week, and they are all relieved to have an alpha on standby to help. I’ve asked another alpha friend of mine to be on call, as well. If the young man does suffer from nymphomania, his heat will be too much for me to handle alone. It might even be too much for two of us to deal with. So my friend is looking for a third unattached alpha.” Urho shook his head. “Nymphomania is a real shame. Not that it’s the omega’s fault entirely, of course. The gene manipulations of our forefathers have many unforeseeable consequences and sometimes nymphomania is one of them.”
“Interminable heat,” Jason corrected, surprised that Urho spoke so openly about genetic alterations. Religious adherents insisted that wolf-god alone was responsible. “Nymphomania is an old-fashioned term.”
“Now you sound like Vale. The thing is interminable heat only applies to heat. Nymphomania applies to the entire sex drive of the omega and can continue outside of the heat itself. That’s a distinction that the liberals don’t want to acknowledge. Nymphomania is a compassionate term. Otherwise, the omegas are just…” he trailed off, thinking. “What’s the Old World term? Sluts. I believe it was considered a slur even then. Promiscuous and overly invested in sex. That’s a negative trait by our culture’s standards and has apparently been considered so deep into the past. At least the idea of nymphomania allows us some pity, gives some leeway by acknowledging that the omega suffers from an incurable illness and simply can’t help himself.”
Jason didn’t reply. He didn’t understand why there were so many rules around sex. Why couldn’t uncontracted omegas enjoy as much sex as they could physically weather with as many alphas as they wanted? Especially if they weren’t in an Érosgápe pairing? And for that matter, why couldn’t Xan be with other alphas? Who did it hurt?
He knew Pater would say it was about control and paternity. They only had to look at the relaxed rules with betas to understand how much childbearing came into play with the laws around omegas and alphas. And yet, while he didn’t want to see Vale with other alphas if he could satisfy him himself, he didn’t see why contracted matches couldn’t make their own rules. They didn’t have the same Érosgápe attachment. They didn’t have to fight their own natures quite so much. They could be more like betas, who were known for non-monogamous matches. Why not? Who did it serve for sex to be so tightly controlled?
Before Urho could introduce another topic or carry on with the current one, they arrived at Alamanga Avenue and split up to get their own lunch from the different
food booths of their choice. They’d agreed to grab Mox’s crew’s orders and Vale’s sandwich after they’d eaten their own, so it would all still be warm when Jason arrived back at Vale’s house. The street was colorful and hectic, with alphas, omegas, and betas bustling between booths, hawking goods on blankets and in stalls on the streets, and dashing in and out of stores on their lunch breaks.
With a pineapple steak-on-a-stick in one hand and a bag of sweet potato fries in the other, Jason followed Urho to a bench set back from Alamanga Avenue on a less bustling side street. The calls of vendors echoed around the corner, but for the most part, they were alone.
“Vale’s bucking hard, is he?” Urho said around a bite of his beet salad.
Jason shrugged, popping a sweet potato fry into his mouth and chewing slowly. He took his time replying. “He seemed open to the idea of contracting until yesterday. Then everything at the negotiation table went wrong. My father was in a terrible mood and was short tempered. Vale tried to talk me into taking a surrogate.” Jason gestured sharply with his steak-on-a-stick. “I don’t want a surrogate. I want Vale.”
“In all likelihood, he can’t have children,” Urho said matter-of-factly. “If you want children, then you should take a surrogate.”
Jason groaned. “I’m nineteen. What do I know about what I’ll want in the future? Children seem great and all, but right now, I want Vale.”
Urho nodded. “And he knows all of that, of course. He knows you can’t predict what you’ll want and that you’d choose him right now. He wants you, too. That’s the way of it.”
The steak was delicious, perfectly flavored with pineapple and tender as could be. Jason took some time to chew and swallow before he said, “It doesn’t seem right that we can’t choose each other, the way wolf-god wanted, and deal with a family later.”
“In the old times, there were so many babies that some were killed or left alone to be raised by whatever kind soul came along,” Urho mused. “Now children are so precious it’s against the law to end a pregnancy, much less abandon a child. It’s chilling to think of a world where so many were unwanted.”
Jason thought of his pater, who definitely wanted and yet couldn’t have more children. He thought of Vale who, from what he understood, faced a future that was much the same.
“Are alpha condoms really so bad?” he asked softly. “Would impregnating a contracted surrogate make up for turning my back on the bond with Vale?”
“You’re Érosgápe. That won’t ever go away. You’ll suffer without him, period. Perhaps a child would make up for it, but I’m childless so I can’t speak to the experience personally. To be truthful, having been bonded with Riki, I can’t imagine walking away from that for any reason at all. Not even for my own life.”
Jason swallowed hard and shoved the remainder of the steak-on-a-stick into the bag of fries. He’d eat it later.
Urho went on, speaking casually between bites of his beet salad. “As for alpha condoms, the ones the government hands out do dull sensation to a degree. But sex is still pleasurable. Much of the enjoyment is emotional—seeing the omega you’re with delirious with pleasure, the various orgasms they enjoy, and knowing that you’re doing that to them.”
Jason’s fists balled up, but he held back the urge to punch Urho. He hated knowing Urho was thinking of Vale in that moment, remembering the pleasure he’d brought to him. He squeezed his eyes against the jealousy, reminding himself that it was better Urho had helped Vale than for Vale to have ever suffered.
Of course, Urho had helped him between heats, too.
A lot, from what Jason could tell.
But who was he to determine what a grown omega did with his sex life? Hadn’t he just been mentally railing at the rules around sex? He’d have to work harder not to be a hypocrite.
“If you choose Vale over a family, I don’t know that you’ll have regrets.” Urho frowned. “You will likely outlive him, of course. If, at that point, you feel you’ve missed out on a family, you could contract with a younger, widowed or uncontracted omega and reproduce with him. No one would blame you.”
Jason felt sick at the very idea. “Why haven’t you done that?” he asked, curious. “Do you not want children?”
Urho’s shoulders slumped, and his eyes glinted with pain. “Riki wanted children very much. It was his dream to give me a beautiful son. We struggled to get pregnant. He wasn’t as fertile as some omegas. But when he did conceive, he was ecstatic. I couldn’t share that with someone I didn’t love. Not having been so close to perfection.” He sat his salad aside, his face grey.
Jason was quiet a few moments before he whispered, “I’m sorry.”
Urho shook himself. “Nothing to be sorry about. It’s in the past.” He turned to Jason, his expression all business now. “So what will you choose? Vale or a surrogate? I’m sure your parents want you to take a surrogate. Carrying on the line becomes so important to men as they age. They forget, I think, the way the bond consumes.”
“Pater wants me to choose Vale, I think. And Father wants me to take a surrogate, but that’s because he doesn’t want Pater’s suffering in having me to be in vain.”
“You’re going to choose Vale,” Urho said knowingly. “And that will be a beautiful choice. He’s a good man. He’ll make you happy. Though he won’t clean the house. You can give up on that right now.”
Jason laughed softly. “I do want to choose him, but he has to choose me, too. He’s having doubts about signing the contract.”
Urho huffed. “That sounds like him. He’s not accustomed to commitments. He’s been on his own a long time. Even our relationship wasn’t a committed one. He had other dalliances.” Urho rolled his eyes. “Not that he suffers from nymphomania,” he clarified. “But he’s never liked to feel locked in. For years, he had used the excuse that he couldn’t let himself get too attached because he never knew when his alpha might turn up. But then he let go of that idea and claimed to simply enjoy the freedom. I think, deep down, Vale doesn’t think he deserves a commitment. He sees himself as damaged goods.” Urho gazed at Jason meaningfully. “But surely you’ve realized that by now?”
Jason nodded. “How do I reassure him?”
“What you need to know about Vale is that he really wants to be taken firmly in hand.”
“What do you mean?”
“He likes to be in charge of his own life, sure, but he loves to be told what to do. In bed, especially.”
Jason thought he might have to kill Urho if he said even one more word.
“So that’s how you handle this,” Urho said, eyes narrowing thoughtfully. “Tell him he’s going to sign the contract because you both want it. Tell him to submit. Make him be your omega.” Urho shrugged. “That’s the attitude I took during his heats. He melted like butter every time. And not just Vale. It’s how I’ve handled every omega I’ve ever dealt with. It’s what an alpha does, Jason. It’s what omegas need.”
Jason tried to imagine Father telling Pater to submit to anything. But all he could picture was Father gently stroking Pater’s cheek and whispering how much he loved him.
Urho picked up his beet salad again and took another bite. “Ever since his parents died, he’s looked to his friends to care for him. Vale’s hungry for a sense of safety. He gets annoyed with me for not sharing all of his liberal points of view, but when it comes down to it, he likes that he can count on me. He likes that I took care of him when he needed me. He depends on Yosef and Rosen for that kind of love, too. As his alpha, you can fill that need for him now. Prove to him that you’re strong, consistent, and dependable, and that you have his best interests at heart. He’ll give you what you want.” Urho smiled, “Even if that means you’ll have to accept a childless contract.”
They hit the food booths again before heading back. Urho gathered Mox’s crews’ orders and Jason stood in the long line for the specialty grilled cheese sandwich for Vale.
Heading back across the bridge toward Oak Avenue, Jason asked, “
Do you resent that I came along and took him from you?”
Urho stared into the middle distance, sucking on his teeth. “I’ve loved him a long time but he’s never loved me quite the same way.”
Jason thought of Xan. Guilt sat on his heart.
“I don’t resent you, Jason. Not so long as you make him happy. That, of course, remains to be seen. But if you hurt him…” Urho shook his head and his dark eyes glinted dangerously. “Let’s just leave it at that, shall we?”
A puppy ran past them dragging his leash and a young beta raced after him. Jason handed Urho the bags he was carrying and took off to help. Once the puppy was safely back in his human’s hands, he returned, breathless, to Urho’s side.
Urho lifted a brow. “You’re too soft by half. Vale could tear you apart if he wanted.” He clucked his tongue. “Don’t let him. Be tough with him. Remember the Holy Book gives you command over him.”
“I’m not very religious.”
“Who cares? The last thing you want is for Vale to think you can’t or won’t hold him. All of him. Every part. Even the ugly bits. Remember, he’s been lonely for a long time, mostly by his own design. Don’t let him push you away now. Not if you truly want this.”
The house on Oak Avenue looked as inviting as it had the first time Jason had laid eyes on it. He and Urho parted ways at the gate.
“I’ll check in on him by phone later,” Urho said, when Jason asked if he still wanted to come in and see Vale.
Jason juggled the bags of food and tried to put out his hand to shake goodbye, but Urho just laughed and caught a falling bag.
“Thank you,” Jason said, taking it from him again. “For the advice. I don’t really know what I’m doing.”
Urho grinned. “You’ll be all right. You’ve got a good heart. A strong, alpha heart.” He gripped Jason’s shoulder and then looked to the side of the house where Mox was rounding the corner with an empty planting crate. “Good luck.”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN