All I could do was laugh. “There’s no way I’m going to do that in the middle of the football field. No way.”
Five minutes later, I was looking up into the lights while Cassian moved above me. At first, I couldn’t stop rolling my head to either side, scanning the building for any signs of movement and the parking lot for cars. But there was nothing.
He’d stripped off his shirt and just slid his pants down far enough to get himself free. I’d been wearing a dress, which he had pushed up after yanking off my panties and tossing them beside us.
He kissed my neck, playfully running his tongue up to my earlobe before sucking it into his mouth. “Because you’re gorgeous when you moan for me.”
“Only when I moan?” I teased.
He drove himself into me, forcing me to gasp and arch my neck back. He put his hand around my neck, kissing just above his fingertips along my jaw and my chin. “And when you try to defy me.”
I locked eyes with him. “You like it when I’m defiant? Then take your cock out of me.”
He grinned, then slid himself out but didn’t stop grinding his hips. His length, which was slick with my arousal, slid along my clit. I purred, digging up handfuls of grass as I bucked up against him.
“Any other demands?”
“Put it back in.”
He obeyed, never taking his eyes from me, like I was the most fascinating thing he’d ever seen.
I clenched my eyes shut, breathing out as pleasure slid through me like warm honey. “Take it out. Finish with your hand. One for you, and one for me.”
Cassian’s eyebrows scrunched together, but he looked amused. He straightened to stand on his knees between my legs. With one hand, he dipped two fingers in me, curling them expertly and then using my own slickness to circle the sensitive nub of my clit. With his other hand, he stroked himself, making the muscles of his arm and torso flex with tension.
I drank in the way his eyes explored my body. He looked at me with so much uncontrolled lust that I couldn’t help feeling sexy and wanted. I moaned, feeling myself tighten against his fingers.
He slipped the condom off himself, groaning as he moved closer. He wanted to cum on me, and I wasn’t about to complain. Before him, I would’ve imagined it would be degrading. Instead, it felt sensual and almost sweet. Like he didn’t want to waste his seed in the grass. He wanted me to feel it. To have it, at least in some way.
He arched his back and his fist tightened around himself. His cock jerked three times, covering me in his hot release with each pulse. I came against his hand a few moments later, overcome by the warm sleepiness that seemed to follow my orgasms.
Cassian was cleaning me off when I heard the sound of grass crunching from behind the bleachers. I jolted upright. “Did you hear that?”
He looked behind us. The way the bleachers were positioned meant they’d also provide cover to someone all the way back to the school and parking lot. “I don’t see anything.”
I frowned. “But I heard something. I think someone was watching us.”
A strange look crossed his features, but he just shook his head. “Nobody would’ve known we’d be here.”
No, I thought. But I couldn’t help wondering if Cassian really had changed. What if this new phase of our relationship was just the finale? I had to physically shake my head. I wasn’t going to go down that route. We’d come too far for me to believe it could all be a lie, so I refused to believe it.
Instead, I hugged him tight. “Well. That was one end zone. I thought you said you wanted to do both?”
He grinned, but still looked slightly off. “Yeah. I feel like I need to make a corny joke about scoring, though.”
“Please don’t.”
He scooped me up and started walking me to the other end of the field. His lips curved into a smile. “He’s going all the way…”
I swatted at his chest, laughing and cringing at the same time. “He’s going to get stopped just short of the touchdown if he doesn’t cut it out.”
“It looks like he’s going to punch it in, despite a determined effort from the defense.”
“I don’t know,” I countered. “It looks like the defense is about to block up all the holes.”
His fingers trailed down the back of my neck, sending goosebumps across my spine. “But this is Cassian Stone we’re talking about. He’ll find the hole.”
I bit my lip, laughing. “Yeah. He probably will.”
39
Cassian
I was eating breakfast across from Charli when I got the text. It was from Sophie. I swallowed a bite of biscuit and caught her attention. “I’ll be right back. Gotta take this call.”
She watched me curiously, but apparently, she trusted me enough not to grill me in front of my mom and Walter, who were sipping coffee and reading the paper at the counter.
I stepped out back and opened the attached video.
I saw a view of the football field lit up at night. Little pink panties were tossed in the endzone beside Charli, who had her legs spread as I slid a condom on. Her pussy was in full view of the camera. My stomach sank and lit up with fire at the same time.
She’d spied on us.
She’d filmed us.
I was going to fucking murder her.
I deleted the video and called Sophie, pacing as I waited for her to answer.
“Weird,” Sophie said once she answered. “I can text and call as many times as I want and it’s like your phone doesn’t work. One sex tape and suddenly you’re available within minutes?”
“What’s your angle?” I asked through gritted teeth.
Sophie sighed. “I don’t want to blackmail you, Cassian. I really like you. And I feel like there’s something between us. You’re just being too stubborn to admit it.”
“Cut the bullshit and tell me what you want.”
“You.”
“Out of the question. What else? Is it money? You want my fucking car? I don’t really give a shit but name your price before you even think of sending that to another soul.” It wasn’t the fact that I was sleeping with her or my own part in the video that had me feeling sick. It was the way Charli was exposed. If that wasn’t bad enough, it’d also be the worst possible way to reveal to Zoe that she’d been sneaking around with me behind her back.
“How about a date, just for starters?”
I had to close my eyes to gather my calm. I wanted to shout. To throw my phone in the pool. But Sophie had me by the balls and she knew it. If I didn’t play this exactly right, she could ruin everything. “Ask me for something else.”
There was a long pause. “Are you begging me, Cassian? Because the Cassian I know doesn’t beg.”
“I’ll get on my goddamn knees and beg you if that’s what it takes. Delete the video. Talk to me about this without holding a gun to my head.”
There was another pause, with only the roaring sound of my heartbeat in my ear. I looked inside through the patio windows at Charli, who sat cross legged in baggy clothes while she slurped her cereal. I knew she was slurping it, because she slurped everything remotely liquid. It had annoyed me at first, but I’d come to find it endearing. Just another touch of what made her uniquely Charli.
The idea of Sophie putting that video out made the heart I’d barely known I had want to break for her. It was my fault, too. If I’d found a more graceful way to let Sophie down, she wouldn’t have taken things to this level. I was sure of it.
“No,” Sophie finally said. “I want a date. It can be somewhere private, but I want you all to myself for one night.”
“I’m with Charli.”
“I’m aware.”
I let the phone fall from my ear and paced as I raked my hands through my hair. I clawed at my brain for some kind of idea. Some last-ditch plan to get out of this. “What do you consider a date?”
I could hear the smile in her voice. “So you’re thinking about it?”
“Yes,” I said tightly. “But if you try anything. Kissin
g me. Touching me. Anything. The deal is off.”
“It’s cute. You’re so used to being in control you can’t even recognize when you’ve lost it. Pick me up tomorrow at seven. Wear that nice white shirt you have and the black pants. And the cologne. Make sure you have that on. Also, if I even suspect you mentioned this to Charli, I’ll start sending people the video.”
I sank down into the nearest chair, clutching my forehead. She was fucking dressing me over the phone? I looked inside at Charli again. She turned her head, caught me looking, and smiled. A little milk dribbled from her mouth to her chin, and she lurched forward, wiping it and blushing.
I shook my head. “I’ll be there.”
40
Charli
Cassian and I had developed a routine. It was a fragile agreement to accidentally meet up around the house when he was done with practice or when I wasn’t training. He’d wander into my room and ask a meaningless question, which would lead to him sitting down somewhere so we could talk longer or so he could join me in watching what I was watching.
Other days, I’d find him on the couch and sit myself down, pretending to be on my phone until we gave up the ruse and just talked.
So when seven thirty rolled around, I left my room and went looking for him. I found Mrs. Stone sitting at the kitchen table while she watched a trashy reality TV show. She was playing on her phone at the same time, and it took me tapping her shoulder for her to look up.
“Hey, Charli,” she said, putting her focus back on the phone.
“Mrs. Stone, have you seen Cassian tonight? I needed to ask him about an assignment for a class we have together.”
“Cassian? He left about an hour ago.”
I frowned. I’d built up something of an understanding of his schedule, and I knew it was usual for him to go to Dead Ringers with the guys unless it was straight after practice or a game. The other possibility was a party, but I hadn’t heard any rumors about one at school.
I pulled out my phone and considered texting him. Why the hell not? Neither of us were apparently ready to put a label on what was between us, but it needed to happen sooner or later. I’d slept with him, for Christ’s sake. He was my boyfriend.
The thought sent a rush of warm, sugar-sweet light through me.
I smiled as I typed out the text.
Charli: Why wasn’t I invited?
I waited a few seconds before I saw him start typing a response back. Then he stopped typing and started typing a few more times. Finally, his message came through.
It was a picture of Sophie. She was leaning forward, making a kissy face, and showing off her impressive cleavage.
I sat back on my bed, feeling suddenly lightheaded and sick.
I blinked a few times at the picture, then tossed my phone down. I cradled my head in my hands and let it all wash over me. Disappointment. Regret. Anger. Most of all I just felt stupid. Stupid for being the one who put my heart out there. Obviously, Cassian had never really let his walls down. It had just been an illusion meant to get in my pants, and he’d succeeded with flying colors. I guess he already got bored of me, which was why he’d gone rushing back to Sophie so quickly.
I wanted to scream, but I decided that wasn’t me. I took a few deep breaths, letting the feelings rush toward me. Instead of taking them all in and letting it sit in the pit of my stomach, I tried to turn it into anger.
Anger at Cassian for being such an unbelievable asshole. Even if he wanted to screw around and toss me to the side, he could’ve at least let me know before he made the decision and not during.
So I went to his room and tried the door, not even knowing what I hoped to accomplish. It was locked, so I went back to my room, grabbed a paper clip and a plastic gift card that had a few cents of credit left on it. I tried the card first. I shimmied it in the crack between the lock and the doorframe, wiggling a few times until I heard the satisfying click of metal retreating.
I pushed the door open and walked into his room.
His laptop was sitting open on his bed. I almost wasn’t surprised to find he hadn’t even password protected it. Cassian Stone probably never imagined someone having the balls to try to look through his things or access his computer. It’d be like a lion putting a lock on the outside of its cage.
I stared at the desktop for a few seconds, not really even knowing what I was looking for. I just felt furious with him. I wanted something. Anything. I hoped to find an embarrassing picture I could use to feel less like he’d just walked all over me and gotten away unscathed. Or maybe an email?
I clicked into his email account and sorted by sent messages. I frowned when I saw that he barely sent any emails, except to one account. [email protected]. I clicked the most recent email and read.
Dad,
Well, fuck. You’ve probably been reading my emails this whole time thinking what an idiot I am. I get it now, dad. I wasn’t mad at you or Charli or the world. I was just too scared to hope. I knew what it felt like to be happy and watch it all burn down, so I figured it’d be better to push happiness away.
Being the idiot I am, I never knew that’s what I was doing. I thought I was punishing Charli. Punishing you. Punishing mom.
The whole time I was just punishing myself.
But I wanted to tell you I’m done with that shit. I’m going to take a risk and hope again. Who knows, maybe I’ll even wind up happy?
Love,
Cassian
I stared at the screen, then reread the email a few more times. It didn’t sound like the Cassian I knew. This person sounded in touch with their emotions. Aware. Sweet and thoughtful.
It definitely didn’t sound like a message someone would send right before flaunting their new fuck buddy in my face via text. As curious as I was to read more, I suddenly felt dirty and wrong for snooping where I had no right to snoop.
I didn’t know how or why, but I knew that picture hadn’t meant what I thought it meant. I looked at it again, scanning the background for any distinguishing feature I could use to find out where they were. I thought I recognized the booth behind Sophie and rushed out to the garage. I borrowed Walter’s fancy bike, hoping he wouldn’t mind.
I needed to see Cassian.
41
Cassian
Sophie rested her chin on the back of her hand, eyes half-lidded as she watched me not eat my food. “A hunger strike? Is that what this is?”
“For some reason, I have no appetite.”
She sniffed dismissively. “Look, Cassian. I get it. I’m the bad guy right now. I’m fully aware of how scummy and shitty this all is, but I’m only doing this because I really care about you. I think I know what’s best for both of us, and that’s the two of us together. I mean, Charli Rhodes? She could barely keep her eyes off Clint even when she knew you were into her. How long do you think it’d be before Clint comes back into the picture, or some other guy just like him? I never stopped caring about you. I never would.”
I pushed my plate away from myself and sat back in the booth. “Are you done now? Have you had a chance to say all the things you were so desperate to say?”
“I’m not going to be done until you give this a fair shot. I know how much it means to you to keep that video from getting out, and if you’re going to force me to use that to get you to open up, then I will.”
“I’ve got to take a leak.” I stood. For a minute, I considered just leaving. I could walk out, explain everything to Charli, and we’d deal with it together. But I couldn’t get the image out of my head. I could still see the way her legs were spread, the way the camera ruthlessly picked up every detail of the perfect little pussy I’d already come to think of as my property.
Nah. Letting the video get out wasn’t an option, and I needed to find a way to convince Sophie to trash it for good.
She stopped me with two fingertips on my wrist. “Leave your phone.”
“What?” I asked.
“I don’t want you trying anything suspicious. Leave
it here.”
“No.”
“Cassian, I don’t want to be the bad guy. I just want to—”
“Too fucking late, Sophie. What is it, leave my phone or you send the video?”
“One person at a time. Yes. I’ll start with people I think would be least likely to share it around and work my way up to the biggest gossipers. So you can test me on that if you want, or—”
I slammed my phone down on the table. “Whatever.”
I went to the bathroom and pissed, feeling like I wanted to punch a hole through the wall instead. The whole situation was fucked.
But if there was one thing getting me through all the confusion, it was the growing certainty I had about Charli. She was the one. Whatever that meant, I wasn’t exactly sure. I just knew she made me feel different. She made me feel like there was some hope at the end of all this for once, and that was worth fighting for.
I washed off my hands and headed back out into the diner. It was a relatively shitty place with peeling wallpaper and cracked leather booths, and I wasn’t surprised Sophie had picked it.
She was smirking when I sat back down. She slid my phone to me, looking overly pleased with herself.
I frowned. “What?”
Sophie shrugged. “Nothing.”
I felt a compulsion to check my phone, wondering if she’d saved some dirty picture to my camera roll or whatever else might pass for a good idea in her twisted head. Instead, I shoved it in my pocket, determined not to let her see I was curious.
“You really think this will work?” I asked. “Force me to sit with you and talk to you over and over? Like something will just snap into place and I’ll suddenly realize I cared about you all along?”
“I think I need to wean you off Charli like an addict, actually. You were happy enough with me before she came along.”
“I was using you, just like I used everybody else. Warm holes. That’s literally all you were to me.”
Savage Love Page 18
