Body Switches

by Barbara G. Tarn

  Body Switches

  Barbara G.Tarn

  Published by Unicorn Productions, 2014.

  BODY SWITCHES

  by Barbara G.Tarn

  ***

  Barbara G.Tarn copyright © 2014

  cover art by Shafali Anand

  http://shafalianand.wordpress.com/

  electronic edition by Unicorn Productions

  originally published September 2014 as B.G Hope

  new edition June 2015

  ***

  There’s a witch on the loose and she can turn our lives upside down.

  Samantha enjoys toying with us and she switches bodies at will.

  That’s the challenge Johnny&Marian, Ciaran&Harith and Pat&Babs have to deal with.

  Three novellas with a common denominator: Samantha the witch!

  Enjoy this humorous tales of body switches.

  Originally published September 2014 as B.G. Hope

  ***

  Table of contents:

  Johnny & Marian

  Ciaran & Harith

  Pat & Babs

  bonus story: Being someone else (Johnny&Marian)

  bonus story 2: Kyle and Rohit (not a body switch)

  About the author

  Johnny & Marian

  1.

  Marian woke up before the alarm clock, as usual. She could hear people moving in the building, but she kept her eyes closed, savoring sleep sliding off her and listening to Chris's regular breathing. She switched off the alarm as soon as it started and rushed to the bathroom before Chris was fully awake.

  It was just another working day in Marian's life. Mr. Moore had the usual secretarial tasks for her and she was quite happy with her routine. She spent the morning writing letters for her boss and researching on his behalf, concentrating on the task at hand before taking short breaks between each to daydream.

  At lunch time she met her friend Valery and after their light meal and quick update on the latest news – nothing on Marian's side, which made Valery sulk for one second – Valery announced she wanted to consult a fortune-teller.

  "You have to back me up on this, Cathy says she's real good!" she pleaded, noticing Marian's skeptical expression.

  "C'mon, Val, what do you expect from someone like that?" Marian shook her head with a dismissive smile. "Of course she'll predict wonderful things for you."

  "But they happen!" Valery insisted. "She told Cathy she'd be pregnant soon and now she is! And you know for how long she and Rick have been trying! Trust me, that fortune-teller can make wishes come true!"

  Marian scoffed. Neither she nor Chris were in a hurry to have children, as he was working on his career and she had her job and the house to look after. "And what will you ask her?"

  "I want adventure!" Valery said. "I want a hero. I want a gorgeous man to fall head-over-heels for me. I want my dreams to come true! Don't you have any?"

  Marian shrugged. She had known Valery since kindergarten, she knew how volatile her friend was. That was why she found Marian's life boring. But Marian had married her dream man, so she wasn't really looking for adventure. Sometimes she still felt like the heroine of a romance book, when the book is over and there's the happily ever after.

  "Well, it's your money, I guess," she said.

  "It will be quick," Valery promised. "And painless for you. Just come with me, I don't want to go alone."

  ***

  Johnny put the eggs and bacon on the plate when Sebastian stepped into the kitchen, dressed and ready to go to work.

  "Morning, love!" Johnny beamed, offering the plate.

  Sebastian gave him a peck on the cheek and poured himself some coffee. "No thanks, hon."

  "Will you sit down and eat something for once?" Johnny protested.

  "I don't think so." Sebastian flashed his dazzling smile at him.

  "Please," Johnny batted his eyelids, putting on his best puppy look. "What else would you like – coffee, tea, me?"

  Sebastian chuckled. "I already have coffee, thank you." He emptied the mug with a few sips. "Johnny, you can have it, I don't want any breakfast."

  Johnny put down the plate, pouting. "One day! One day you'll eat everything I cook for you!"

  "I already do. But not in the morning. Save something for tonight. I've got to go."

  A quick kiss on the lips and Sebastian was gone.

  Teaches me to move in with gorgeous interior designers, Johnny sulked. Sebastian had a wonderful house and was great in bed, but he was way too busy during the day.

  Johnny shrugged and sat down for breakfast. Sebastian was ten years older than him, maybe he was afraid to put on weight, in spite of his daily trips to the gym.

  "Good morning, Señor Johnny." Rosa, the middle-aged Mexican maid, arrived when he was almost done.

  Johnny was too busy stuffing his mouth to look at her. He grumbled a greeting between bites.

  "Sometimes I wonder why you so skinny," Rosa said, shaking her head.

  "I eat a lot because I burn a lot," he replied.

  "Oh, yes, you're hyperactive!" She snorted. "And very messy too." She looked around the kitchen with a disgusted expression.

  "Rosa, behave, or I'll tell Sebastian to fire you," he threatened.

  "I was here long before you," she replied. "I'll be here when you're long gone."

  "He loves me, he'll never dump me!"

  "You're a sexy one, I admit, but you won't be young forever."

  Johnny's hunger disappeared. It was true, his twenties wouldn't last forever. "That's it, you ruined my breakfast. I'm going to work."

  It took him his usual hour to get dressed, so he was late for work. Why did he bother to dress properly to work in a call center anyway? His supervisor checked his watch upon seeing him, and shook his head.

  Johnny shrugged and began his shift. He was paid by the hour anyway, why bother being on time?

  ***

  Marian had never noticed the little esoteric shop. She observed the hippie-looking twenty-something, who introduced herself as Samantha, with curiosity. She sat at a small table with a colorful tarot deck in front of her.

  "I was told you were a very good fortune-teller." Valery sat in front of the young gypsy, a little worried by Samantha's youth.

  Samantha grinned. "Who speaks so well of me?"

  "Cathy Simmons. She's a friend of mine... I mean ours." Valery waved her finger between her and Marian who nodded.

  "Take a seat too," Samantha suggested.

  "I'm not interested in my future," Marian replied.

  "Take a seat and relax. I won't tell you anything you don't want to hear."

  "Marian doesn't believe in astrology," Valery said. "But I do! I want to know what's in my future!"

  "Give me your hand."

  Valery obeyed and Samantha started studying her palm.

  Marian looked around, uneasy. A burning bar of incense disturbed her nose.

  "Do you mind if I wait outside? I hate perfumes."

  And before Valery could object she was outside the shop, filling her lungs with fresh air.

  ***

  Johnny went to the supermarket as soon as he finished his shift. He picked a cart, unfolded his long list, and slowly went through the aisles.

  "Johnny!" Doris's voice startled him. The platinum-blond transsexual wore his usual miniskirt and high heels, and held a half-empty basket in his red-nailed hands. "Is that all for us?"

  "Of course, darling. Seb isn't enthusiastic about it, but I won again."

  "Tell him I'll behave this time," Doris promised.

  "Yeah, if he can keep the wine and cocktails away from you!" Johnny chuckled.

  "Look who's talking, bitch!"

  ***

  Marian stopped by Chris's office on her way home. In the d
oorway she almost bumped into an exiting client who excused himself with a dazzling smile. Stunned, she followed the gorgeous blond man with her eyes as he left Chris's office.

  "Whoa! Is he a model or what?" she asked, entering and closing the door behind her.

  "Interior designer." Chris smiled. "Divorced. Came out of the closet."

  "You mean he's gay?"

  "Yep. But was married once."

  "Jeez, what a waste." She focused on Chris again. "I was wondering... can we have Chinese tonight?"

  "Sure. Tomorrow pizza, and the day after haute cuisine – how does that sound?"

  "Oh, right, the party. How are we doing in that department?"

  "We're almost there." Chris took her in his arms. "Thank you for backing me up. One more effort and we might be able to afford that baby."

  She took in a deep breath. "I'll be ready," she said. She hated being The Wife, but she loved Chris and was glad to help him with his career. The promotion meant they would be able to afford a baby. She wasn't getting any younger after all.

  "I know you will." He smiled and kissed her, knowing how hard it was for her to be sociable with strangers. "Gotta go back to work," he added with a sigh. "I need to finish a couple of things."

  "Can't you come home now for once?" she asked, disappointed. She wanted to spend one hour or two in his arms, cuddling and having sex.

  "No, honey." He sat back at his desk. "This is important. See you tonight. I'll grab Chinese on the way home."

  ***

  Johnny was cooking, the radio on at a high volume. He sang along with Gloria Gaynor, shaking his ass in his own idea of dance.

  Sebastian entered the kitchen, clearing his throat and lowering the music.

  "Oh, you're back!" Johnny was startled but recovered quickly. "I didn't hear you coming in!"

  "How could you possibly hear me with the radio so loud?" Sebastian asked, amused.

  Johnny shrugged. "I love music. And I like listening to it when I cook."

  Sebastian reached for him and pulled him in his arms. "I know. Are you done yet?"

  "Almost." Johnny squirmed, trying to go back to his dishes. "Just the final touches. Luke should be here soon to give me a hand."

  Sebastian let him go and he busied himself with a perfectly cooked roast beef.

  "How about me, what can I do?"

  "Grab that plate, go to the door and welcome our guests." Johnny pointed with his chin at a plate of appetizers. "You know you're useless in your own kitchen."

  Sebastian smiled. He passionately kissed Johnny, squeezing his buttock in one hand, and then moved away from the table and his lover. "Call me if you need me."

  Johnny blew him a kiss and went back to pouring sauce on his roast beef.

  ***

  "I guess you picked the best looking of the two," Gabe said, unable to keep his eyes off of Johnny, who was joking with his plump friend Luke and transsexual Doris. The trio was, as usual, at the center of the attention of the male guests – some transvestites, a couple of drag queens, others plain gay – who had crowded Sebastian's house and garden.

  Gabe was slightly older than Sebastian, and like the host, he stood on the side with a drink in his hand, observing the action of the younger guests.

  "He's also the most spoiled," Sebastian replied, staring lovingly at Johnny's slender and androgynous beauty.

  "I'd love to spoil Johnny, if you're fed up," Gabe said.

  "You already spoiled him when you brought back all those runic pendants from Iceland," Sebastian chided.

  "I know he loves that stuff. But I don't see him wearing them anymore."

  "Of course not." Sebastian chuckled. "His astrologer told him they're back luck."

  "He has a personal astrologer now?"

  Sebastian sighed and nodded. "The only woman he ever gave a damn for. Her name is Samantha."

  "Gee. And he consults with her often?"

  "Often enough to be bothersome. I bet Luke is easier to handle."

  "Yes, well, he's good. Have you tried Doris's new tits?"

  Sebastian shook his head. "Not really interested in that stuff anymore."

  "I forgot you had the read deal – a wife! What was it like?"

  Sebastian shrugged and sipped his wine, unwilling to discuss the matter. He was still friends with his ex, but he never mixed the two worlds. He didn't discuss his gay friends with the few straight friends he had left, and never discussed his "straight days" with his new acquaintances.

  Not that Johnny was curious about women. The only female name he could remember that actually belonged to a woman – not a transsexual or a transvestite – was Samantha. A fortune-teller. Sometimes Johnny was very childish. But that was what had caught Sebastian's attention – the self-loving flamboyant personality, who could also be passionate and cheerful and carefree, bringing a refreshing light to Sebastian's much too serious life.

  Putting up with the childish whine of a pretty boy wasn't too bad yet, and Sebastian hoped to help Johnny gain some maturity with time. He had never been that wild, not even at Johnny's age, and a part of him had been charmed by Johnny's personality and way of life. That's why he had allowed the whimsical youth to move in with him, even if outside the bedroom they didn't have much in common.

  He wasn't expecting Johnny's fling to last that long, but he was glad to still be in his boyfriend's heart and mind after more than a year. Even if he had to kick him out of bed and send him to work, lest he lose another temporary job. Johnny was a high school dropout who only wanted to have fun, but Sebastian didn't despair of seeing him finding a career path soon. He knew Johnny was brighter than what he pretended, and really hoped he'd stop fooling around. Then they could be really happy.

  ***

  Marian sat with Valery on a bench in the public park. Both of them saw Samantha seated nearby with a book and Valery waved at the fortune-teller, who had looked up from her book when they had sat down.

  "She's good, Marian, you should try her," Valery said, excited, as the gypsy went back to her book. "I expressed only a small wish yesterday, and it happened! Next time I'll ask for more!"

  "Suits you." Marian shrugged. "I'm not interested. I believe in my own power to change my life."

  "Then you should take care of yourself a little more, dear." Valery eloquently pointed at her own light makeup, designer clothes, and hairdresser cut. She had always been the fashionista of the two, while Marian preferred comfortable clothes to the latest crazy fashion.

  "Chris loves me the way I am," she replied, grateful for her clean, pale face and plain clothes. She could dress up if she had to – in fact she would soon, for Chris's sake – but she preferred to be comfortable in her daily life. "Thank God." One more reason to love the saintly man who put up with her lack of makeup, perfumes, and all those girly things she had always hated.

  "You should make an effort for his career!" Valery insisted. "I know you're lovely, but you need to be more sociable with people you've just met."

  "I'm working on that."

  "So, hairdresser and makeup tomorrow night?"

  "Makeup makes my skin itch. I'll wear lipstick, but that's it." She sighed. "Still, sometimes I wish I was born a man."

  Valery smiled and shook her head. "Do you really think life is easier for men?"

  "Not easier, different," Marian answered. "I'd love to try something different."

  "You're so lazy, you'd never shave!" Valery teased.

  "I hate facial hair, therefore I'd get rid of it," she retorted. "And I'd be gay, of course."

  Valery laughed. "What's with you? What's so great about watching two men together?"

  "They're cute."

  "God, Marian, you're sick! If I were Chris, I wouldn't let you watch all those gay-themed movies!"

  "That's why I'll never be a lesbian, or marry you." Marian flashed an impish smile at Valery, who shook her head with a chuckle.

  "You're crazy. Poor Chris."

  Marian shrugged. She noticed Samantha was gri
nning at her book and tried to figure out what she was reading, but couldn't.

  "Oh, God, lunch time is over!" Valery exclaimed. They both rose from the bench and quickly kissed good-bye. Marian walked past Samantha, forgetting to check the now-closed book in the gypsy's lap.

  ***

  Samantha shuffled her tarot deck as Johnny slumped in the chair in front of her. "Hello, Johnny. You look wrecked."

  "I'm sick of the call center and Sebastian trying to be my dad." Johnny snorted, passing one hand in his dark blond hair. "Will I ever get rid of all of it?"

  "Of course. But you have to make up your mind first." Samantha smiled. "What do you really want?"

  Johnny sighed. "I don't know... Sebastian's great, but... He won't let me be what I want to be."

  "You still want to be a woman," Samantha said.

  "I want breasts, like Doris." Johnny sulked.

  "Doris still has a penis, hasn't she?"

  "Yeah, well, I don't really need it. I'd do the full sex switch if I had the money. Of course this would mean giving up Sebastian." He pursed his lower lip, frowning in concentration. Such a hard choice.

  "So, what do you want?" Samantha asked, amused.

  Johnny thought about it for a few seconds. "Gee, I don't know," he admitted. "Seb is so good in bed!"

  Samantha shook her head. "You don't know what you want."

  Johnny leaned forward. "What do the cards say?"

  ***

  Marian and Chris finished their pizza dinner and moved to the couch.

  "Friday night we're invited to Rick's again," he said.

  "Do you want me to make a dinner?" she asked. "There isn't much room, but we can sit six in here." She gestured around her at the open living room with kitchenette. They had a small condo apartment and it was good enough for them at the moment.

  Even Chris seemed to want to keep their friends out of it. "I don't know, their houses are bigger, and Valery or Cathy are better cooks than you."

  "Thanks." She smiled, knowing he was right.

  "No offense." He pulled her against him to cuddle her.

  "None taken." She nestled against him. "Maybe we can invite them when we actually buy a house?"

  "Definitely." He grinned. "And I'll cook."

  "We'll do it together. It's going to be fun."