Something like doubt flickered in her eyes. “I know that football is part of you, as much a part of you as your gray eyes.”
I shook my head. “My eyes aren’t gray. They’re blue. Light and boring blue.”
Quinn smiled. “When you’re this close to me, and you’re just about to kiss me senseless, they’re gray. And trust me, I should know. I’m the one looking at them.”
“Right. Anyway, the point is, I’m not choosing football over you. I want you to understand that.”
“And I want you to understand two things. First of all, you don’t have to be ashamed of loving the game. I get it. It really is part of the whole Leo package.”
I wiggled my eyebrows at her. “And what a package it is.”
She sighed, rolling her eyes, and went on speaking as if I hadn’t. “And second, you don’t have to do anything to give me the life I deserve. All I will ever want is you, whether you’re the most celebrated tight end in the league—”
“And what a tight end it is, too.”
“—or if you’re sweeping out the locker room after the game. You’re still the one I want, no matter what you do. So yes, I tease about you winning championships and trophies, but in the end, all that means shit to me. I only want it for you, because I see how talented and amazing you are.”
I hiked her up a little, firming up my hold on the chains, and took advantage of our position to kiss her senseless, as she put it. Hey, it sounded like a good idea. Her mouth opened to me, as it always did, warm and welcoming, and I teased with just the tip of my tongue. Quinn leaned back against me, the hint of a moan escaping from her throat.
“If it weren’t broad daylight, I’d suggest we test this swing. See if it could hold us both.” I whispered the words against her lips.
“I am a swing sex virgin.” She twisted a little and lifted one hand to the back of my neck. “Maybe we should come back when it’s dark and try it out.”
“It just so happens that I, too, am a swing sex virgin.” I nuzzled her neck, kissing just under her ear lobe. “We’d be on level ground. So to speak.”
She giggled and kissed my jaw. “Hey, Leo?”
“Hmmm?”
“Did you know my mom drove into the city today with your mom, for her check-up?”
A smile began to spread across my face. “I did not know that. I knew my mom had a check-up, but I didn’t realize Carrie was going with her.”
“She did. And do you further know that means my house is empty for at least the next three hours, since they’re having lunch afterwards?” Her eyes met mine, sparkling.
“Are you suggesting something wicked, Ms. Russell?”
“Only if having hot and wild sex with your girlfriend is wicked, Mr. Taylor.” She batted her eyelashes at me, and I wrapped one arm around her waist, holding her tight to me as I let go of the swing.
“Why the hell are we wasting time here, then?” I palmed her ass, fitting her to me more securely. “We may not be able to have swing sex right now, but I’ll bet you a second orgasm I can make you scream my name before we’re in your bed for five minutes.”
She grinned. “Let me get this straight. You make me scream your name—which implies a first orgasm—and then I get a second? Or you do?”
“Who cares? I figure we’re both winners, either way.”
“Agreed. Race you to my bedroom.”
I was scheduled to report to Carolina the last day of July. Having a shorter summer made me acutely aware of the passing of each moment, and I didn’t want to waste a single one.
Not long before Bill’s death, Quinn’s parents had bought the beach house where they’d spent summers almost as long as I’d known them. Quinn had been meant to work down at the shore that summer, but she’d changed those plans after her father died. I’d given up most of my clients at the lawn service my brothers and I had run for years, so I was free to spend a day here or there with Quinn at the beach.
It was Carrie’s idea that we all spend my last week of summer at the beach house. I had mixed feelings about it; being down the shore would be fun, and in a lot of ways, it would be like old times: my mom and Sheri would be with us all week, and Mark and my dad would come down for the weekend. Days of sun and sand, nights on the boardwalk—I knew it would be good for Quinn.
On the other hand, there wasn’t going to be much privacy with six to eight of us under one roof, and I was about to leave for a college ten hours away from my girlfriend. I wasn’t going to be able to see her until September at the earliest, since she’d be starting classes right around the time of our first game; I wouldn’t be able to come up and visit her until after the season was over. We’d talked about Quinn making a weekend trip down for a game, but nothing had been firmed up yet.
All of which to say, I’d been hoping to spend my last week at home making up for the time I was about to lose with her.
Explaining this to Quinn’s mom—or mine—wasn’t going to fly, I knew. So I swallowed my disappointment and told myself I was just damned lucky to have her back at all. I was also fortunate that her mom had looked the other way so much already this summer, giving us most nights together. I didn’t have any reason to complain, but I was greedy for my girl.
We’d been at the shore for three days when Gia drove down to spend the day. I knew Quinn and Nate had gotten to be close with her during senior year, when I wasn’t part of their lives. Gia still treated me a little stiffly, as though she hadn’t yet made up her mind whether or not to trust me.
But she’d been fairly relaxed all that day, and it made me happy to see Quinn laughing and joking with her friend. She was getting better, recovering from her dad’s death, but it was a slow and painstaking process. There were still mornings when I awoke to find her sobbing in my arms and times that I saw her staring at nothing, pain in her eyes. I walked a fine line between distracting her when I could and listening to her when she wanted to talk it out. Being a guy, I really just wanted to fix it for her—make the hurt go away, bring back her ready laughter and the way she used to exude joy.
My mom and I had discussed Quinn one day, sitting at the breakfast table on one of the rare mornings I woke up at home.
“You can’t make this better, Leo.” Mom shook her head, but there was compassion in her eyes. “You can’t do or say anything that’ll make the pain less, or make it go away faster. This kind of grief—it’s like a physical injury. Quinn has to go through the whole process, and you can’t do it for her.”
“So what can I do?” I scooped scrambled eggs onto my toast and took a bite. “There’s got to be something, right?” I swallowed the eggs. “What did Dad do for you when Gramps died?” I remembered, vaguely, when my mom’s dad had passed away. I had been eight years old, and all of us boys had been mystified by our normally happy-go-lucky, laid-back mother having crying fits and hiding in her bedroom for hours on end.
“He didn’t do anything. He was just there for me. When I cried, he held me. When I needed to talk it out, he listened. And when I wanted to forget about everything for a while, he did everything he could to distract me.”
I nodded. “That’s what I’ve been trying to do for Quinn. But it doesn’t feel like enough.”
“Of course it doesn’t. You’re a male, honey. You want her to just be over it already, because it stresses you out when Quinn’s hurting. But no matter how much you love her, you’re not going to be able to take away this grief. If you want to be a real man, though, you won’t walk away from it, or pretend it’s not happening. Every minute you’re standing up with her, or helping to hold her up, you’re being who she needs.” My mother set down her coffee cup and reached across the table to pat my arm. “I’m proud of you, Leo. Most boys your age would freak out and turn tail in a situation like this.”
“Yeah, well . . . I already did that once. I guess maybe I learned my lesson.”
She laughed. “I doubt it. Like I said, you’re a man.” Standing up, she snagged my plate and headed for the dishwas
her. “Have I mentioned that I wouldn’t be your age again for all the tea in China?”
I rolled my eyes. “Thanks.”
Now, sitting on the beach listening to Gia and Quinn laugh and chatter, I remembered my mom’s advice. Maybe there were a few things I couldn’t give to my girl, maybe I couldn’t be here all the time, but there were others who could give them to her and be here for her.
“Hot today.” Nate dropped a folding chair next to me, leaning carefully to make sure it was stable before he sank down. He wore a baseball cap low over his eyes, the brim almost hitting the top of his dark sunglasses. Any kind of temperature extreme was risky for Nate, so he took precautions, protecting himself from the sun as much as he could.
“Yeah, well . . . it’s summer, dude. And you’re out here in the middle of the day.”
“I know. But it sucks to be the only one hanging out inside, when the rest of you are on the beach.” He grimaced. “Plus if I had to listen to our mothers talk about hot flashes any longer, I was afraid I was going to start growing boobs.”
I laughed. “Too much estrogen, huh? I don’t blame you for that. But I’m glad your mom and mine are down here with Carrie this week. It’s been good for her.” I lowered my voice. “Good for Quinn, too, to have you around, and Gia here today. It’s too bad Jake couldn’t make it.” Quinn’s former editor-in-chief at the school paper had remained a good friend, and I was secure enough in her love for me that I didn’t mind that. Although they’d dated for a while during our junior year, it had never been serious. His summer internship at our county newspaper had kept him from visiting this week.
Nate watched the girls, and his face softened. “Yeah. It’s nice to see Quinn relax. Gia’s good for her, even though it’s weird to think about her having a friend who’s a girl. I’m still getting used to that, and it’s been over a year.”
I cocked an eyebrow at him. “Why is it weird?”
“I don’t know. I guess I’m just used to her being fine with only you and me. She never hung out with girls when we were growing up.”
“True.” I smiled as Gia leaned over to whisper something in Quinn’s ear and pointed to a guy walking by in the surf. Quinn fell back on the blanket, convulsing in laughter. “Maybe that wasn’t such a good thing.” I settled back in my chair and pushed my sunglasses over my eyes. “Nate, when I’m away, you’ll watch out for her, right? You’ll make sure she doesn’t feel alone or lonely?”
The chair creaked as he shifted. “Of course. I’ll keep my eye on everything. She’s going to be okay, though. Quinn’s tough.”
“She still cries sometimes.” I spoke softly.
“Of course she does. She just lost her father. She’s going to keep on crying a lot. But I’ll sit with her when she does, and Gia and I’ll both keep her busy.”
I sighed. “I was mad at first that she decided not to go to Evans, but I’m really glad she’s going to be at Birch with you two. I won’t worry so much.”
“Yep. We’ll take care of her.” He stared straight ahead. “And you don’t have to worry at all, Leo. Not about anything. I know what I did before was wrong, getting between you two. I won’t say or do anything again.”
“I trust you, Nate.” And it was true. I did. “And even more than that, I trust Quinn. Things are different now. I know what it’s like to lose her, and I know I can’t handle that. So I’m sure as hell not going to screw it up.”
“It’s not going to be easy.” Nate’s voice was mild. “But I guess you both know that.”
“We do. But we’re going to make it work.” I was beginning to feel antsy, so I pushed up from my chair and stretched, then leaned down to sprinkle a little sand into the enticing curve of Quinn’s back. “Hey, gorgeous. Want to go for a walk with me?”
She rolled onto her side and shaded her eyes with one hand. “Did you just put sand on me, Leo Taylor? Do you know it sticks to the sunscreen? It’s a pain in the ass to get off.”
I reached down and grabbed her hand, tugging upward. “It just means longer in the shower, babe.” With a leer, I added, “I’m more than happy to help you wash off those hard-to-reach places.”
“You’re a degenerate.” Her cheeks were flushed, though, and I knew she was turned on, too.
“And you love me for it.” I pulled harder, and Quinn stumbled to her feet, landing smack against my chest, just as I’d hoped. She was wearing a black bikini that set off her tanned skin and showed off her curves. Her body was utter perfection: long slim legs, flat stomach and rounded hips . . . an ass that was just right for grabbing, and those tits? Well, when they were on display in the two triangles that made up her bathing suit top, my dick was in perpetual state of arousal.
And now, with that luscious body pressed against me? God help me. If our friends weren’t right there, I might’ve tossed her back onto the beach blanket and figured out a way to get us both off without anyone guessing what we were doing.
As it was, I had an idea of how to get her alone, in a less public setting.
“C’mon. I need to move around a little, or I’m going to get stiff.”
She tipped her head back to see me and smirked. “I think maybe you already are. Stiff, that is.” She murmured the words so that I was the only one who could hear them.
I leaned my forehead against hers and whispered back. “Can you blame me, when you’re bouncing around in those little scraps of fabric? You’re killing me, woman.”
Quinn winked. “That’s the idea, right?” She bent to retrieve my T-shirt, which she’d been using as a bathing suit cover-up, and dropped it over her head. I helped her pull her arms through.
She freed her pony tail from the neck of the shirt and nudged Gia with her toe. “You okay to hang with Nate while the Neanderthal drags me along the sand?”
Gia grinned, her eyebrows arched. “Hoping to find a cave for your woman, Leo?”
I mock-scowled and pounded my chest. “Make cave for woman. Have big fun.”
Quinn shook her head, but I saw the smile playing on her lips. “What can I say? He’s unenlightened, but he’s mine. Let’s walk, big guy.”
We made our way down to the ocean’s edge before we began heading along the beach, our joined hands swinging between us. Quinn was silent, but she seemed content, stopping now and then to examine a shell and skirting the occasional washed-up jellyfish.
“Mia.” I squeezed her hand. “Are you going to be okay when I leave on Sunday?”
She didn’t answer me right away, but her mouth tightened a little. “I don’t want to think about it. I’m going to miss you like crazy, and it’s going to suck and it’s going to hurt.” She took a deep breath. “But I’m going to be all right.”
Our steps slowed, and Quinn turned a little to face me. “Last year, when you broke up with me, I thought I was going to die. I felt like you’d cut out my heart. But I decided that I had to keep going on. To do that, I had to pretend that you didn’t exist anymore.”
I felt an iron band of guilt and regret constrict around my chest. “God, I’m sorry, Mia. If I could do things over—”
“But we can’t, and everything happens for a reason. I’ve got to believe that.” She moved closer to me, so that her boobs teased against my chest. “I only mentioned last year because at least now, this time, I can still talk to you. We can text and video chat, and I’m going to visit you. Even though I won’t be able to kiss you and touch you every day, I’ll still know you’re with me. And you love me. So . . . will I be happy? Not really. But am I going to be okay? Yes, I am.” She punctuated her words with a single hard kiss on my mouth.
I pulled her tighter. “I wish we were past this already. I wish we were on the other side of four years of college, and beyond the good-byes. I hate this, us being separated.”
“I hate it, too. But then, I’ve hated a lot of stuff that’s happened lately. It doesn’t seem to make much of a difference.”
“We’re going to do everything we can to make it work. I’ll do anything,
Mia. Anything and everything for you.”
“I know.” She twined her fingers at the back of my neck. “I trust you, Leo.”
“Do you?” I raised my eyebrows. “Because if you do . . . I have an idea.”
“Oh, no.” Her eyes went wide, but I didn’t miss the spark of interest there, too. “What kind of idea?”
“The best kind.” I slid my hand down to take hers and began moving up the beach, away from the water. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but time alone has been kind of scarce this week.”
One side of her mouth quirked up into a smile. “Maybe I have. Kind of hard for you to sneak into my room when I’m sharing with my mom.”
“Right, and since I’m in the same room with Nate, I don’t think he’d appreciate us using my bed.”
“Yeah. He’s been so much better this summer, but I think that might be pushing things.”
“True. So . . .” I led her around the dunes, through a break in the sea grass, and under the boardwalk. “I remembered this place. We came down here one time with your mom and dad, remember? For your birthday one year, I think. Your parents let you bring Nate and me, and we were on this beach instead of the one right in front of the house. We were playing hide and seek, and it was Nate’s turn to be It. You and I hid right . . .” I pulled her under with me, into the shadows. “Here.”
“I remember.” A genuine Quinn smile lit up her face, and seeing it made my heart falter. She hadn’t smiled like this for too long. Her eyes were filled with delight as she glanced around the small alcove. “Nate found us, but not right away. You and I sat in here for a while, and we talked. Like, really talked. I think maybe that was around the time I began to fall in love with you.”
I wrapped my arms around her waist. “Really? Way back then? I was such a little jerk.”
She laughed. “You were not. You were adorable.” She traced my jaw with the tip of one finger. “So when did you know you loved me?”
“I’ve always known I loved you. As long as I can remember.” I spoke without having to think about it, because the words were true. “But I knew I was in love with you . . . in middle school. We were over at Nate’s, and I said something, probably some stupid joke, and you laughed. Like, really laughed, threw back your head, and I remember thinking, God, Mia’s so beautiful. I wanted to be near you more then, but I was kind of dating Sarah. And I knew how Nate felt about you.” I shrugged. “I was an idiot fourteen-year old. How I felt about you was confusing and kind of scary. But the longer I pushed you away, the harder I fell.”
The Keeping Score Box Set Page 36
