Phoenix Rising (Phoenix of the Heart)

by Michelle Stevens

Give me a chance to prove myself.” His look of desperation stabbed my heart.

  He pulled something out of his pocket and held it out to me. “I wanted to give this to you for the party.”

  I looked in his palm and saw a sparkly red barrette in the shape of a bird. “Jim, I can’t accept this.”

  “Yes, you can. It’s a pretty little nothing for your hair.” He clipped it in my red mane of curls and stood back. “See, it’s perfect.”

  I looked at him warily. “I don’t know…”

  “Let’s treat it like a first date, a new beginning. We’ll have fun. Trust me.”

  I sighed, vacillating on what I should do, but when I looked at Jim I was swayed by his vulnerability. As a safety net, I insisted, “If we go, I want to take separate cars.”

  Jim smiled with obvious relief. “Whatever you want, gorgeous. Now get dressed and be quick about it.”

  I changed into a simple red party dress. My hands were shaking as I zipped it up. I had a terrifying peace about the evening, as if what was about to unfold was predestined. When I came out of my bedroom, Jim gave a long appreciative whistle. “You look enchanting.”

  I responded with only a hint of a smile. His compliment meant little, although I could tell he was trying.

  The two of us walked out of the apartment in silence. The cold night air was refreshing to my soul. I breathed it in as I hurried to my car.

  Jim headed towards his, but abruptly changed direction and walked over to me. “Beth, I need to tell you something important.”

  I was getting exasperated with him and snapped, “What?”

  “I think…” he paused and shifted uncomfortably, “I think I’m falling in love with you.”

  I stood beside to my car, completely shell-shocked. Jim’s words hung in the air for several minutes. I didn’t know how to respond and remained silent.

  I could hear an edge to his voice as he walked to his car, mumbling, “So I’ll meet you at the party then.”

  Between the cold night air and Jim’s declaration, I couldn’t stop shaking the entire drive to the party. There was no way he was in love with me. We hardly knew each other. I decided it had to be some kind of ploy to gain my sympathy, and I was determined not to fall for it.

  We arrived at Scott’s party three hours late. I could hear loud music and laughter coming from his apartment when I stepped out of the car. I hesitated at the bottom of the stairs—again. My palms were sweaty and my heart racing.

  Jim grabbed my hand and dragged me up. Before we even reached the top, the door swung open. Mike stood there grinning at me in a cheap Santa costume.

  “Here she is!” he proclaimed. “We didn’t think you were coming, Phoenix.” Mike tried to hug me, but Jim moved between us. Mike invited us inside, muttering something to Jim I couldn’t quite catch.

  The apartment was smoky and crammed with people. I was overwhelmed when several users, introducing themselves by their aliases, immediately surrounded me. Jim stood next to me and announced loudly, “Yeah, I’m Phoenix’s boyfriend.”

  I quickly corrected him. “Actually, we’re just on a date.”

  Jim laughed uproariously as if I had made a joke. I turned from him and scanned the crowd, trying to catch a glimpse of Scott.

  An attractive young man caught my eye as he came up to introduce himself. “Hi, Phoenix. You know me as Greywolf, but my name is Glenn. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” I was rendered speechless as I shook his hand. For some reason, I had always envisioned a gray-haired gentleman whenever I typed to him, but his ocean blue eyes were hypnotizing.

  I never knew high school math teachers could look so cute!

  I was about to reply to Greywolf when Mike saddled up beside me. “Hey, Phoenix, can I mix you a drink?”

  “Sure, that would be awesome.” I figured a little alcohol might calm my frayed nerves. “Can you make it a screwdriver, Mike?”

  “No problem, I’ll be back in a jiff.”

  I turned my attention back to Greywolf, but Jim had already engaged him in a conversation about the recent Yellowstone fires. I scanned the crowd again but didn’t see Scott.

  Where are you? I cried silently in my head.

  Mike quickly returned with my beverage, and I took a long drink, downing a third of the glass. “That hit the spot. Thanks again, Mike.”

  “Anytime, Phoenix. I’m really glad you made it to the party. You had me worried there for a while.” He patted me on the back before disappearing into the crowd.

  The alcohol began its magic, loosening my tight muscles. The song Hold Me Now, a favorite of mine by the Thompson Twins, drifted over the crowd and I began swaying to the beat. It didn’t take long before I felt considerably more relaxed and happy.

  Jim seemed encouraged by my new mood and put his arm around my waist, but I scooted out of his embrace. Instead of getting upset, he winked at me and rejoined the conversation with Greywolf. I noticed Greywolf stared at Jim oddly for a moment before directing his attention to Daisy who had just joined our group.

  It turned out that Daisy was much older than I’d expected, with streaks of gray in her shoulder length ebony hair. However, the woman had a flirtatious smile that made her completely irresistible.

  “So, Phoenix, what is your opinion about the fires?” Daisy asked pleasantly.

  I took another sip of my drink. “I believe the fires were long overdue, but—”

  I broke off mid-sentence when I saw Scott enter the room. He emerged from the hallway with several people following behind him. I surmised that he must have been showing them the computer that ran the bulletin board. Scott was speaking to an attractive girl with poofy hair, skin-tight gold spandex pants and ruby red lips.

  I dreaded to see Scott’s expression, unsure what his reaction would be when he finally caught a glimpse of me. I debated whether to hide in the crowd, but Mike made an announcement before I could disappear. “Hey, Scott, Phoenix finally made it!”

  Scott turned towards me, and I felt like a deer caught in headlights. I could not look away.

  I held my breath when our eyes met. I saw a spark of recognition and then a warm glint flit across his dark eyes. He walked towards me, and I began to float. I forgot about the room, the people, Jim—everything.

  “I’m glad you decided to come, Beth. As you can tell, the party is a huge success.” His smile melted my heart.

  I looked up into those gorgeous eyes and didn’t say a word. I couldn’t say anything because an incredible feeling washed over me, a feeling that ended when I heard my date’s voice.

  “So I hear you’re The Keeper. Let me introduce myself. I’m Jim, Green Lantern on your board. I’m Phoenix’s boyfriend.” Jim put one arm around my waist and held out the other to shake Scott’s hand.

  I wanted to curl up and die. Again, I felt like a deer in the headlights but for completely different reasons.

  Scott grasped his hand and shook briskly, his smile disappearing. “I’m not surprised Beth has a boyfriend, but I’m shocked it’s you.” What did he mean by that? Did Scott know him personally?

  I quickly explained, “It’s just a date.”

  Before Scott could respond, Jim pulled me away. “There’s someone you have to meet, Phoenix. His name is Darkman…”

  I looked back at Scott and saw that he was still watching us, but then the girl with the poofy hair touched his shoulder and he turned towards her. I could feel jealousy gnaw at my heart.

  How I long to trade places with that girl!

  Jim dragged me out to the small deck and joined in a conversation with two other people, neither of whom were named Darkman. I kept glancing at Scott through the sliding glass door. The girl hung near him and constantly whispered in his ear. When people tried to talk to Scott, she would maneuver her way in-between, always smiling pleasantly as she did so.

  I hadn’t wanted to come in the first place, and now the night was turning out as badly as I’d feared. I was the unwilling observer to a girl’s flirtations towards
a man who had captured my affections while Jim played the “loving boyfriend” at my side. Even though I was curious about the other BBS members, my stomach was in knots, and I wanted to go home.

  I turned to Jim and told him. “I’m leaving.”

  He looked at me as if I were crazy. “What are you talking about? We’ve only been here twenty minutes.”

  “I don’t care.”

  “Get serious. We’re not leaving.” Jim turned away to cut off any further argument.

  “Fine. Stay if you want, but I’m out of here.” I silently applauded myself for bringing separate cars. I turned to leave, but Jim grabbed my arm.

  “Come on, Beth,” he said, leading me forcibly to the kitchen. I reluctantly followed, wanting to avoid a scene in front of a bunch of strangers.

  There were several people in the cramped kitchen standing over the food. Three of them were in a heated argument over Reaganomics with Mr. Ed, an older man with a military crew-cut who loudly defended the “trickle-down theory” to the vocal protests of the other two. I assumed Jim would ask them to leave so we could talk, but he poured a shot of tequila instead. “Here, drink this. It’ll calm you down.” He tried to hand it to me, but I baulked.

  “I don’t want it.”

  Jim poured himself a shot. “Come on, just take it.” He smiled charmingly. “A toast to The Lighthouse.” The people in the kitchen suddenly became interested and poured shots as well, holding up their glasses to toast.

  I figured one shot wouldn’t hurt, so I took it. Jim made the toast, the group clinked glasses, and we drank. The tequila