Juicy Rebound (IceCats Book 1)

by Toni Aleo

  I don’t know why I’m hit with such a wave of emotion as I gaze up into his eyes. “How can you be so confident? We’ve had failed marriages, and we’ve made mistakes—”

  “Because I love you. That alone is all that matters.”

  Before I can say anything or even sigh, he captures my mouth with his. He wraps his arms around me, holding me close as mine wrap around him. I’m lost in his kiss, and all I can think about is how much differently this would have gone if he were Drew. The moment I raised my voice, he would have walked away…or hit me.

  Chandler didn’t leave. Even when he yelled, he reminded me he loved me.

  I have no clue what the hell I’m doing, but I don’t want to do anything ever again unless it involves him.

  It’s well past one as I tiptoe through the house, hoping not to wake my mom or Chandler. Ryan and Sofia left around eleven after a wonderful dinner and drinks. I was worried my mom would still be upset with me about going home with Chandler for Thanksgiving, but once everyone was seated around the table, she was all smiles. Everyone got along, and it was great. The conversations were smooth, not forced. Mom was excited to hear about the gym and how wonderful things are between Chandler and me. It was as if time apart wasn’t anything to Ryan and Chandler. They are still the best of friends. Sofia and I fell into chatting like old times, and I didn’t feel out of place or judged.

  I’ve never felt more loved in my life.

  The only thing missing was my dad.

  I head through the kitchen to my dad’s office. No one really comes in here much anymore, and it’s become the home of all our family photo albums. Mom likes to sit in his chair, light a cigar, and look through the albums, feeling like she is with my dad. I’ve caught her doing just that plenty of times.

  I kind of want to get something tonight to take home with me. When I push the door open, the musty cigar smell hits me tenfold. I shut the door behind me as I walk inside. The desk is cluttered, just how my dad left it. There is a large box of cigars, a gift from my uncle when we learned my dad was dying for sure. My uncle told my dad he couldn’t die until he finished them.

  He only smoked one.

  Tears burn my eyes as I fall into the chair. I bring my knees up under my chin and open the book that is lying there. To my surprise, it’s the same journal Shelli brought to me when she came to convince me to leave Drew. A smile pulls at my lips as I go through each page, the evidence of my mom and dad’s love. I have the urge to take this and show it to Chandler, but I know I couldn’t do it without tears. He’d be wonderful—hold me and let me know everything is okay—but it isn’t okay. My dad should be here.

  He would love Chandler.

  I jump at the sound of the door opening, and when my gaze meets my mom’s, she smiles. “I thought I heard you up.”

  I bite my lip. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

  “I wasn’t sleeping yet.”

  I smile. “Chandler passed out about an hour ago.”

  “Well, he and Ryan were throwing back some tequila shots.”

  We share a grin as she comes toward me in her little housedress. Her long, luscious black hair is up in a high bun, and her blazing blue eyes make her look as young as ever. She’s beautiful, so damn beautiful, and I hate the pain in her eyes. She comes around the desk and inhales sharply when she sees the book I’m looking at.

  “Oh wow, you took it way back.”

  I shrug. “It was lying here.”

  “I think Shelli put it there, and I won’t put it away. I like looking at it.”

  I nod as I flip the pages over, revealing a photo of my mom and dad dancing. “I do too.”

  She leans in, placing her hand on the desk as she looks closer. We smile and laugh at each page. When we reach the page with her and my dad sitting in the hospital bed the day Ryan was born, my throat goes tight. “I really didn’t think I’d marry him.”

  I laugh as I glance up at her. The story of my mom and dad is one for the ages. She truly didn’t believe he was her soul mate. She fought it, and even when he knocked her up, she tried to get away. He wouldn’t let her, though. He wouldn’t give up on her because he loved her. She didn’t even tell him she loved him until after my brother was born. But once she told him, she never stopped. There wasn’t a day in my childhood when I don’t remember them telling each other they loved the other, usually more than once. It was constant.

  Just how Chandler tells me.

  “He was ruthless, though. He believed in us.”

  Emotion is strangling me, and all I can do is nod.

  “I remember your uncle Shea telling us how the girl he was with wasn’t his option two. She was his option one, a temporary fling. His option two would be the girl who stunned him in place. Who could bring him to his knees and cause him never to want another for the rest of his life. Daddy always knew I was his, but it took forever for me to feel the same. Or maybe I did, but I just fought it.”

  I smile. “I want what you guys had.”

  “You have it.”

  “You think so?”

  “Amelia, he looks at you the way Daddy looked at me.” I glance back to her as she smiles down at me. “I love Chandler. I loved him before you two got together. But now that you two are together, Amelia, I totally adore him.”

  “He’s wonderful. I just wish Drew hadn’t happened and tainted the way I look at things. Chandler is brilliant, funny, and oh so gorgeous, yet I worry that I’m not good enough for him because I wasn’t for Drew.”

  “Drew is a scumbag,” Mom says quickly. “Chandler sees in you what you don’t, and then he tells you. I can’t even count how many times I heard him tell you how pretty or beautiful you were. He watches you, he makes sure you are happy, and he loves you. I can’t even be mad that you went to his house for Thanksgiving because it’s apparent how hard it is for you to leave him.”

  So hard.

  “It’s all so overwhelming. I love him, but I don’t want to make the same mistakes again. How can he want me when I failed so badly at my first marriage?”

  She gives me a soft smile. “Who said you failed?”

  I bite my lip. “Drew didn’t want me, but he stayed with me because he could control me.”

  “Darling, what does that mean?”

  I close my eyes, my tears leaking out. “I lost a baby,” I whisper. I didn’t mean to.

  I hear her gasp as she clutches my shoulder, “A baby?”

  “I got pregnant right before we got married, and then things went really bad. He started hitting me and hurting me, not only physically but emotionally too.”

  “Amelia—”

  I choke out a small sob before I continue, opening my eyes again. “I got out, I did, and I’m so much better.”

  “Amelia, how? Why didn’t you tell—” Her words fall off as she stares deep into my eyes. “Because I wasn’t there for you, baby, I’m so—”

  Tears are glistening in her eyes that are so like mine as I slowly shake my head. “Don’t apologize. You didn’t know. Only Shelli knew.”

  “I knew Shelli would always be my favorite.” My lips quirk as our eyes meet once more. She reaches out, wiping my tears away. “You confided in her?”

  I nod. “Yeah, and she was mad I asked her to keep quiet, but she promised not to tell. I didn’t want anyone else to get involved, and I never thought she would hit him for it.”

  “She’s got Adler blood in her—she’s feisty.”

  I smile in agreement. “Please don’t tell anyone?”

  Compassion fills my mother’s face as she nods curtly. “Never. You’re right, no good will come from that. Ryan and Shea will have records next.”

  “Exactly,” I whisper, and I feel her anger vibrating off her in waves. “Mom?”

  She looks at me, moving my hair out of my face. “Yes?”

  “I know Chandler would never lay a hand on me…but I used to think that about Drew. So what if I’m wrong again?”

  I can see in my mother’s f
ace the murderous feelings that are fighting to take over. She cups my cheek, kissing my nose before leaning her head into mine. “Because why would that man hurt the one thing he worships? His option two after a shitty marriage.”

  “You think I’m his option two?” I ask, breathless, and she nods.

  “Oh, darling, that boy won’t ever let you go.”

  Her words remind me of that song Chandler and I danced to. I won’t let go either. I can’t. I love him. Emotion burns in my throat while I gaze up at her. I swallow hard as I blink back the tears. “You’re not mad at me for the whole Drew thing?”

  She shakes her head, and relief floods me. I know she’s not mad at me, but I’m pretty sure even God won’t be able to help Drew if he’s ever in a dark alley with my mom. “How can I be when I am so proud of you, not just for what you have endured but for the woman you have become. I’m pretty sure it has a little to do with Chandler, and I think I might just love him a bit more than I already did.”

  “So you don’t think we’re crazy?”

  “No, my darling, I don’t. You two complete each other. It doesn’t take a genius to see that. You can’t ignore it, Amelia.”

  Tears stream down my face. I gaze into the same eyes I have, and I whisper, “I’ve always wanted my option two. I want what you and Daddy had.”

  “You have it.”

  She’s right. I think I knew that night on the side of the road. Chandler held me so close, cherished me as he sang the lyrics to the song in my ear.

  Chandler is my option two.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Amelia

  “So, who do we have left?”

  “Your mom and dad,” I read off my list as I lean into Chandler’s side. We’ve spent the morning at the mall, and while my mom thinks it’s a travesty to go to the mall on Christmas Eve, I’m thoroughly enjoying it.

  He leans his head down on mine, reading the list, and then he clears his throat. “And you.”

  A flash of confusion fills my face. “Me?”

  “Yeah, I haven’t gotten your present.”

  “You slacker!” I accuse, pushing him away. “You should already have my gift!”

  “What? You already have mine?”

  “I bought yours in Florida.”

  He narrows his eyes. “What did you get?”

  “I’m not telling!” I laugh as he pulls me in close, wrapping his arm around my neck so that I’m trapped in his grasp.

  “I have everything I want. Right here.” He kisses my mouth, hard, and I don’t care that people are pushing past and around us. I’m lost in his sweet kisses. As we part, I’m grinning, and so is he. His eyes are so gorgeous, such a pretty gold color, as he looks down at me. “So before I take you to the nearest dark space, what are we getting my parents?”

  I’m out of breath as I wrap my arms around his waist, nuzzling into his chest, just wanting him. “I was thinking a bracelet for your mom and a money clip for your dad.”

  “Both sound awesome,” he says, kissing my temple. “But we’re running out of time. We have to be at your uncle’s in an hour.”

  “Okay, so we split up. You go get the clip, and I’ll get the bracelet.”

  But he shakes his head. “Other way around. I need to get you something, remember?”

  I shoot him a playful look. “I’m not one to drip in diamonds.”

  “Because you haven’t been with someone like me,” he says with a wink before he kisses me and then goes off toward the jewelry store. “We’ll meet at Starbucks?”

  “Yeah,” I call to him as he flashes me one of those life-altering grins. I can’t take him. I shake my head as I head to the little spot in the middle of the mall where I know they have money clips. After picking out a nice one, I have it engraved with Mr. Moon’s initials. They’re coming to my uncle’s for dinner. We are heading to their house after we have Christmas with my family.

  My mom offered for Mr. and Mrs. Moon to stay for our Christmas, but they declined, not wanting to intrude. Mom is convinced she can get them to stay, and I hope they do. I love spending time with them. I’m a little nervous that they know about Drew. I trust that Chandler is right, though. That they don’t think I’m weak and will continue to love me. As I love them.

  And I really love Chandler.

  He’s been absolutely amazing this trip. He belongs with my family. He cooked breakfast with my mom and then went to help Sofia and Ryan with some equipment at her gym. Her gym is breathtaking, and I almost took her up on her offer to come work for her. But where would that leave Chandler and me? I’m not leaving him. I refuse to. I have things too good with him, and after the shitshow I’ve lived through, I’m not willing to let that go.

  Even though I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t let me even if I wanted to.

  A grin tugs at my lips as I head to Starbucks. The thought of him fighting for me makes my blood burn with want. He’s so protective, so confident, and it drives me wild. I want to be self-assured just like him, and I’m working on it. With him beside me. After ordering a hot tea, I take my drink to find a seat where I know Chandler will be able to find me. I’m a little bit nervous about going to my uncle’s after this, but a part of me doesn’t care. It will go well, or it won’t—it doesn’t matter because I’m unbelievably happy, and no one can take that away from me.

  “Amelia.”

  You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

  Drew’s voice sends chills down my spine. Immediately, the flight response in my brain kicks in. I go to get up, but I pause when he holds his hands up as he lowers himself into the chair across from me. Why am I pausing?

  “I just want to talk.”

  I cling to my cup as I meet his eyes. I used to think they were so sexy, so perfect, but not anymore. “What do you want?”

  “I want to talk.”

  “I have nothing to say to you, especially after you pressed charges on Shelli. Yes, she shouldn’t have hit you. But come on, you’ve done worse. You had it coming.”

  He nods. “I did, which is why I dropped the charges against Shelli.”

  I press my lips together. “I didn’t know that.”

  “The paperwork will go through after Christmas. I just asked my lawyer to.”

  I cross my arms over my chest. “Okay.”

  “Do you want to know why?”

  “I really don’t,” I say sharply. “I don’t want to talk to you.”

  It’s as if he doesn’t hear me. “I’ve been watching you with him for the last hour. You love him.”

  Okay, stalker. My heart jumps up into my throat, and I still want to run. But I don’t move. “I do.”

  “More than you ever loved me,” he says as a statement, not a question. “You’re happier. So much happier. It was hard to watch at first. I wanted you back.”

  My jaw drops before I sneer, “Absolutely not.”

  “I knew you’d say that, even before I saw you with him. After, though…I knew I didn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of getting you back.”

  “Drew, it won’t happen. No matter what—”

  “I’m sorry,” he says, cutting me off. “I did wrong toward you. I was awful, and I really am sorry.”

  I can only stare at him and try to breathe. My heart is pounding, and my stomach is churning. I swallow back vomit as he goes on.

  “When you left me, I went on a drinking binge, got a DUI, and was sent to rehab. I’m an alcoholic, and at the time, I was also popping pills. I couldn’t handle what I was feeling—”

  “That’s no excuse,” I say, my eyes narrowing to slits. “You hurt me when all I did was try to love you.”

  “You’re extremely right. And again, I’m not trying to make excuses. I’m trying to apologize,” he says softly, and for the first time ever, I see shame in his eyes. “I wanted to tell you all this when Shelli hit me, but I was so embarrassed that I said more than I should have, and I regret that.”

  “You said I left you because of her, and that’s not th
e case. I left because of what you did—over and over again.”

  He nods. “I know I never should have put my hands on you or say what I did. I regret it all. But now, in the end, I honestly just want you to be happy. I’m not only here for your sake, I’m here for mine. I had to tell you all this to get that guilt off my chest. It’s a step in AA.”

  I want to feel bad for him. I want to tell him it’s okay. But it’s not. In my opinion, his words aren’t as genuine as they should be. He should be apologizing for what he did because he hurt me, not just to get the guilt off his chest. “I appreciate you apologizing to me, and I hope it helped the guilt you feel. But nothing will ever happen between us ever again. I do not love you. I don’t even know if I ever did. Because being with Chandler? That’s love. You…you weren’t love,” I stammer as my eyes fill with tears. “You were pain.”

  “What the fu—” Chandler’s words cut off abruptly when I look up at him.

  “Don’t,” I urge. He looks deep into my eyes, and I shake my head. “Please. I’m handling it.”

  Drew’s eyes stay locked on me. “I understand, and again, I’m sorry.”

  I turn to look into his face, and I realize I don’t know how I stayed for as long as I did. I suspected he had a drinking and a pill problem, but I was always scared to bring it up, thinking he would hurt me. I didn’t realize how bad it was until the end, but by then, it didn’t matter. He wasn’t high or drunk when he hit me. Or at least, I don’t think he was. I think there was a dark monster inside him that he had to defeat. It wasn’t my job, even though I wanted so desperately to help him then.

  Not anymore.

  “I accept your apology—not for your sake but for mine,” I say, using his words against him. “To close this chapter of my life and move on with someone who actually does love me.”

  Drew rises slowly from his chair, his eyes moving to Chandler. I almost think Drew is going to say something, but I’m thankful he doesn’t. Chandler’s body is tense, and his eyes are wild. He wouldn’t need much provocation to slam his fist into Drew’s face.