The Ingredients for Happiness

by Lucy Knott

  Hunched over, with Luca’s hands in her hair and one arm still holding onto a bunch of olive branches, she finally clasped her hand around her phone and yanked it from her pocket with a gasp of anxious breath. Swiping it to answer without even looking she put on her poshest voice.

  ‘Hello, Louisa speaking.’

  ‘Hey Lou.’ The silvery voice sounded familiar. Louisa dared a glance at her screen, moving it away from her ear as Luca freed the last olive branch from her hair.

  ‘Jesus Christ, Levi … I am so sorry,’ Louisa yelled, staggering back against the wall then registering the disapproving glares from the churchgoers. She winced, quickly looking at Luca, hoping she hadn’t offended him. To her relief, he was chuckling. She apologized a few more times, bowing her head as she did so, her hand on her chest, calming her heart rate. ‘Sorry, Levi. I thought you were someone from the showcase. I’m waiting for a call,’ she stammered. ‘Is everything okay?’

  ‘No worries, Lou Lou. I won’t keep you long, but I wanted to ask you a favour,’ Levi said, his voice quiet with a hint of desperation that concerned Louisa.

  ‘Sure. What do you need?’ she replied, brows drawn together with nervous anticipation.

  ‘I had something special planned for Bri, but if I’m honest. since joining this new label things have been off.’ His voice was low and shaky. Louisa could see him threading a hand through his hair, something she’d witnessed Levi do on occasion over the years, usually when he was out of his laidback comfort zone. ‘I’m not sure I should go ahead with it. She can’t even stand next to me when we’re out in public these days.’

  Louisa scrunched up her nose and chewed on her bottom lip. It didn’t seem like a very Sabrina thing to do; Sabrina adored Levi, Louisa knew that much. She had a feeling this was all to do with her banning the boys from the café like Amanda had told her, though Louisa had only thought that to be a first week jitters kind of default rule. She hadn’t believed Sabrina would still be enforcing it nearly a month later.

  Louisa played with her ponytail, giving her bobble a wiggle to loosen the tightness she felt at the back of her neck, trying to avoid a headache that would no doubt creep up on her should she not help resolve this. ‘Have you tried talking to her Levi? Has Amanda spoken up?’ Louisa crouched, hovering over the low wall, resting her thighs against it.

  ‘I’ve tried, but it made things worse. She got upset that I didn’t trust her direction and spoke to me like we were in some sort of business meeting. It was all about the image of the band and how it would help our profile. I support her one hundred per cent Lou, I think she’s amazing. I appreciate her knowledge and don’t want to undermine her professionalism, but it was like some sort of spiel straight from the publicist’s email. I don’t believe for a second it’s what she believes in. I know she visited with Amanda yesterday, but they haven’t seen much of each other lately and last night she was, what’s that word you use? Frazzled? She kept muttering something about figuring it all out, that she had something to do. I hate seeing her so worked up.’

  ‘Hmm,’ Louisa pondered, swishing her ponytail left to right and clicking her Converse together for a sign of inspiration for how to fix this. ‘It’s balance, Levi. She wants to do right by the company and prioritize you guys as a band first, which in all fairness is her job. It might be a big ask, but if you can figure out a way to make her see that record sales won’t drop and fans don’t care if you’re dating and show the label that you’re a solid team both in work and out, then I think you might stand a chance. So, in other words, Levi, this album needs to be undeniably kickass, in every way,’ Louisa said, with a laugh to soften the laundry list of tasks she had just given him.

  ‘Now, that I believe I can do,’ Levi replied, with a laugh of his own and a dash of his usual charm back in his tone. ‘She’s so sweet Lou. She’s had her head buried in papers since last night, pushing me away, telling me she needs to fix it. I don’t want her to think she has to do it on her own. I’m worried I got too angry with her and now she thinks I don’t care.’

  ‘I’m sure she knows you care Levi. Try not to worry. When she wants to figure something out, sometimes you just have to let her. And Amanda?’ Louisa asked, standing up and stretching her legs. She squeezed Luca’s bicep to signal she wouldn’t be long. She didn’t want to rush Levi –it had been a while since she had spoken with the boys and she wanted to make sure he was okay before bidding him goodbye.

  ‘I haven’t seen much of her, I’m ashamed to admit, it’s been pretty difficult with this whole ban in place. I spoke to her on the phone last night and apart from sounding exhausted everything sounds awesome at the café; you’ll love the place when you see it, Lou. Her and Bri haven’t been talking much. You girls know how to work hard; they’ve both been crazy busy, but Amanda seemed in a better mood after they spoke yesterday. She told me the same as you, just to let Bri figure this one out. Speaking of being busy, I have another favour to ask. Don’t feel pressure, but do you think you could make it home for Easter? I know you’re super busy with work there but if you could make it, that would be amazing. We’re doing a small gig over Easter weekend and I think you’re right, I have to show Bri that we can have the best of both worlds and I think my plan might solve that.’ Louisa couldn’t remember if she’d ever heard Levi talk so fast before. And he was not done. ‘Flights are covered, I can send you all the details if you think you can make it. I have flights for Luca, Nanna and your zias too, if you say yes.’

  Louisa stopped pacing and stood gob-smacked against the low wall. She didn’t know what to say. Levi had organized flights for her whole family and Luca too. He wanted them all to be in Manchester for Easter. Her eyes grew wide. What was going on? Oh no, what was she right about? What had she just encouraged him to do?

  ‘Erm. Levi. That sounds pretty fantastic. Erm, I’d have to speak with Luca and Nanna and everyone. Easter is a pretty big deal over here and it might depend on if I win this showcase and I have a bunch of dresses to alter. But yeah, I can see what I can do,’ she said, shrugging at Luca, whose sparkling blue eyes were looking at her intrigued.

  ‘Great. If you can let me know as soon as you can. I mean no rush, but the sooner the better,’ Levi said, his tone spritelier and more Levi-like than at the beginning of their conversation.

  ‘I will do. And Levi, is everything alright?’ Louisa asked, pushing a strand of hair that the breeze had blown in her eye out of her face.

  ‘Yes, everything is fine. Sorry to burden you. You’re right, I need to give Bri space and be more understanding, she’s only been trying to do her job. Oh, and Lou?’

  ‘Yes?’ Louisa stopped leaning and stood up straight again, waiting for Levi’s next words.

  ‘Can you not tell Sabrina or Amanda? It’s no big deal, but yeah, erm, don’t tell them you’re coming, if you can come. I hope you can come.’

  ‘Oh, yes, of course. Don’t tell Amanda and Sabrina. Okay, got it,’ Louisa said as Luca looked at her quizzical expression and mouthed, ‘What?’ To which she replied with a shrug.

  ‘Okay, thanks. Talk soon then. Give that Italian stud our love,’ Levi said, back to his playful self, before hanging up.

  Louisa dropped her phone in her pocket as she briefed Luca on what Levi had asked of them. His face lit up at the idea of going to Manchester, but he did his best to act nonchalant as Louisa went through all the pros and cons of taking a trip at such short notice. She would soon be finding out about the showcase and to prepare for a magazine spread would take time. Then again, if she went home, she could celebrate her win with her family. Not to mention the workload she had at the shop with the stack of dresses she had to alter. She shook her head, aware she was rambling to Luca and she didn’t even know if she had won the showcase yet. This trip would mean she could finally see Torta per Tutti in person and see all Amanda’s hard work and it would be lovely to surprise her family. And, best of all, Luca could live out one of his dreams and travel with her, which was very kind of Lev
i to do. And Levi – Levi was planning something special that it didn’t sound like she could miss.

  Louisa took a deep breath, reeling in all her positives and negatives. She unloaded Luca of her olive branches, really one olive branch would have probably been sufficient but Nanna and her zias had given her practically half the tree.

  ‘It sounds nice; we celebrate together, ma if you think not, you have work, we don’t go, if you think we go, maybe we go,’ Luca said, a smile on his lips and a twinkle in his eye. He was ever the sweetheart and a voice of reason in her undecisive mind. Louisa’s heart skipped as she took him in. Getting to take Luca to her home would be rather special. Whatever it was Levi was planning had sounded important. Did she really have to miss another family event? It was part of the reality of her decision to stay in Italy, she knew she shouldn’t be mad about it – but all the family hadn’t been together since New Year over three months ago, and Louisa had never been away from home this long either, so it would certainly be wonderful, if she could make it happen. Levi’s words took precedent in her mind, sending a few drops of adrenaline pumping through her veins; her sisters had been fighting, her family needed her and maybe she could make her sisters focus on all the incredible opportunities and dreams they were living out, what with Amanda and the café, Sabrina and the new record deal and her with the fashion showcase and a steady workload. Amazing things were happening; there was no need for bickering.

  Louisa had more of a pep in her step by the time they stepped into the square, where they were met with a magnificent site. Everywhere she turned there were olive branches baring colourful chocolate eggs, bright red rosanna sweets, mini carciocavallo and salami, as well as bouquets of confetti, so elegant, so pretty, decorated with pot flowers, feathers, baby pinks, yellow daisies, and baby blue birds. The priest in his gold, white, and red robes made his way out of the church and the crowd immediately began to follow his footsteps down the path to a large clearing overlooking the sea, where he would say a prayer and bless the palms and confetti. Louisa had a new wave of energy built on a mixture of happy adrenaline at the thought of going home, nerves over all she had to do at the shop, her need to help her family and the beautiful blessings the priest was showering them with. There were a few disconcerted looks in her direction after the priest rained water down on them and Louisa jumped, sending two cheeses pinging off her branches and rolling across the ground, when she realized it was her phone disturbing the peace.

  She sent another apologetic look Luca’s way to find his blues eyes crinkled with humour. She smiled hesitantly, pulling out her phone while bending down to collect the cheese. As she did so, Luca shook his head and ushered her away to concentrate on her call while he collected the scattered produce. She blew him a kiss, took a deep breath and answered her phone.

  ‘Louisa speaking,’ she said as she tucked herself away behind the corner shop. Her stomach gurgled with nervous anticipation and she paced past the window’s Easter display. Italian Easter eggs were truly something else.

  ‘Ciao Louisa. I ring to say thank you for presenting your designs at our showcase. For a fresh designer we see you show potential. Ma, your work is very new and needs some refining. We wish it to represent you. To truly show your flair, your style. We hope that you will return to us next year for another chance at our magazine editorial, when you have more experience.’ Louisa’s throat felt constricted and tears instantly puddled in her eyes. She held up a hand to shield herself from the sun and cover her tears in case Luca was looking. Moments ago, she had felt untouchable – helping Levi, the idea that she would see her family again soon – but now she felt like the air had been let out of her lungs. She had failed. She hadn’t won.

  ‘Thank you. Grazie. I appreciate your time and I would love to come back next year. Thank you,’ Louisa choked out as confidently as she could muster. She was grateful and she had appreciated the opportunity. But she had failed. She had missed Amanda’s grand opening and had nothing to show for it.

  ‘Grazie signora. Ciao,’ the lady quipped before disconnecting. As quick as a flash Louisa’s heart had gone from happy to devastated. She swiped the tears from her eyes as she watched the water spout from the hand of the Virgin Mary and run into the basin at the bottom of a small fountain hiding in the wall. She homed in on the calm sound of the running water before it made a small splashing noise as it hit the pool. She thought of the fountain at her zia’s house – the one with the brightly-coloured crystals that her mum had decorated it with when she was a child, and she willed herself some strength. What was she going to tell her sisters? What was she going to say to her mum and dad? She had been given this great opportunity from Giulia and she had let her down. Oh, how was she going to tell Giulia? She curled a loose strand of hair around her fingers and bit her lip. She had to turn around now, stand up straight and face Luca and the bustling crowd.

  ‘Amore, everything is okay?’ Luca called out as she neared him and the congregation, all of whom were now chatting and making their way back to the church in procession, olive branches aloft. She couldn’t keep him waiting, weighed down with olive branches and cheese. ‘Eh, mamma mia, what can I do?’ Louisa muttered one of her grandpa’s favourite sayings to herself. ‘We did try, right Grandpa?’ She patted down her wet face and pulled her ponytail a little tighter like she was encouraging herself to pull herself together, before she was close enough to Luca to tell him her news.

  ‘I didn’t get it.’ Her voice betrayed her and came out in a wobble. This time it was Luca’s turn to drop the contents piled high on his forearms, to wrap her in a warm hug. She wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head against his firm frame. A few minutes passed before Luca placed a hand on the back of her head and spoke. ‘Amore, I am proud of you. You do not have to win to be a success. You did it.’ Louisa sniffled. His positivity spoke volumes to her. If Luca believed in her after only knowing her a short time, surely she could believe in herself? He knew of her weaknesses and when she was selling herself short, and also when she made excuses out of fear, yet none of that mattered; just like Giulia he didn’t allow her to bring light to her excuses or remain down for long, he simply believed in her. Now, she just had to work her butt off for next year.

  She stepped back, instantly feeling colder away from the heat of Luca’s body. ‘Thank you. I just wanted so badly to do it for everyone,’ Louisa said, her voice still wavering.

  ‘I know, ma you do it for you and we all are proud,’ Luca replied, brushing a hand over her cheek as she squinted up at him in the sunlight. She tip-toed up to him to kiss his cheek. So, no magazine editorial, she told herself in her head, but you helped Levi today and your sisters are still successful, life is still good. Her stomach was in knots. Louisa breathed in Luca’s vanilla scent, trying to loosen the uncomfortable tightness the knots were causing. It was simply a minor setback. Now she had experienced the runway, she knew where her purpose lay. She would do it again.

  ‘Let’s not tell anyone how many times this cheese has touched the dirty floor,’ she whispered into Luca’s ear making him laugh. That laugh was certainly climbing the ranks of things that made her heart happy. It was closing in on her Grandpa’s pizza. ‘Thank you, Luca,’ she added, before planting her heels back on the ground and bending down to retrieve their goodies off the floor and round up the runaway cheeses.

  ‘Va bene,’ Luca said as he joined her. He was doing a better job of juggling the olive branches and palms in his hands than she was of not smacking herself in the face with salami while coordinating holding loose cheeses and confetti. ‘Amore,’ he chuckled as he helped her to get a better grip of her things while sneakily taking the cheese from her and adding it to his pile. Once upright and stable, they headed back through the markets and crowds towards their bikes. Somehow the Italian people shouting, children in smart waistcoats and gorgeous dresses giggling and chasing each other around the square, the purr of vespas buzzing along the cobbles and in and out of market stalls dropping o
ff more fresh produce and the tantalizing smells of pizza fritta floating along the breeze, eased Louisa’s disappointment in herself and the heartbreak over not winning. She still had la dolce vita and a thought occurred to her that made her squeal with glee.

  With not having any immediate appointments on her calendar besides the beautiful dresses she needed to finish before Easter, her thoughts drifted back to her phone call with Levi. She wondered if Giulia would mind her taking a small trip and if she could finish the dresses in time.

  ‘Luca, what would you say to taking a little trip to England?’ she asked, a genuine smile creeping onto her face. She might not get to raise her glass to celebrate her own success, but Louisa had a feeling there would be plenty to toast.

  Chapter 18

  Pastiera

  Ingredients:

  For the pastry:

  Eggs (1 or 2 – depends on how many pastiera you are making)

  Flour

  Butter

  Sugar

  Vanilla

  For the filling:

  Ricotta (tubs or cups?)

  Barley

  Candied peel

  Eggs

  Vanilla

  Sambuca (and lots of it)

  What to do:

  Wing it! Follow your heart and do what Grandpa did. (Very informative Amanda. Need to note down recipe properly if you use for blog.)

  Scattered across the kitchen island lay multiple trays of pastry that would soon become pastiera, one of Amanda’s favourite recipes to make with her grandpa and an Italian Easter tradition. A tradition that Amanda and Grandpa had done together since Amanda was teeny tiny and he would let her pour in the amount of sambuca she felt necessary. Grandpa would always get a kick out of the bottle being too heavy for Amanda to hold, meaning sambuca would stream out of it before he stepped in to save the day. She could still hear Grandpa chuckling and shouting, ‘That should do it!’ She never told him the bottle wasn’t heavy, she just loved the smell of the sambuca and Nanna had secretly told her, ‘The more the merrier’.