The Ingredients for Happiness

by Lucy Knott

  ‘I know,’ her sister replied, a smug but adoring look on her face. She didn’t take her eyes off Dan. Dan had that magnetic front man thing down to a tee for sure. Even Sabrina struggled to peel her eyes away from his enigmatic allure. But she did and when they found Levi as he counted his band down to the first song, her heart soared. Tonight, she wasn’t watching him play from the side of the stage as their manager, tonight she was front and centre simply watching her boyfriend destroy the drums. Tonight, she wanted to witness San Francisco Beat the same way everyone else in the room was, except with the bonus that she did still get to get up close and personal with them after. She chuckled to herself, relaxed her shoulders, closed her eyes and let the music wash over her. The record label could trust her, they truly were special; their music like no one else’s. To the fans, all that mattered was what was happening on stage right now and it was pure art.

  *

  ‘Sabrina, can you come up here please?’ Sabrina’s eyes flew open to find Levi with a microphone reaching for her hand. Her cheeks flamed. ‘What?’ she gasped, her insides freezing. ‘Can you join us on the stage baby?’ he added to a round of ‘awws’ from the crowd. All eyes were on her. Weren’t they just in the middle of ‘Choose You’? How did Levi get to the front of the stage? Who gave Levi a mic? Sabrina’s eyes darted to each member of San Francisco Beat. When they caught site of Dylan’s, he seemed to register her panic. She watched as he walked over to Dan’s mic.

  ‘Two and a half months ago, we signed with this awesome new label and this, folks, is the woman behind the San Francisco Beat machine. We appreciate you guys sticking with us and hope you dig the new sound, but we couldn’t have done it without this woman right here.’ Dylan finished his speech and nodded at Sabrina encouragingly. That was kind of him, she thought. What a lovely thing to say. She smiled back as Levi caught her hand and guided her up on to the stage. With the bright lights on the stage casting the audience in a dark shadow she focused her attention on Levi. Levi with a microphone. Levi not behind his drum kit. What more did he have to say? Dylan’s speech would do. It was very sweet of them to acknowledge her in this way, though she already knew that they appreciated her. She didn’t crave the spotlight on her, she tried to communicate this to Levi with a stern glare and small smile. But his brown eyes were zoomed in on her lips, his Adam’s apple trembling, his palms sweaty. Suddenly she didn’t care that two hundred people were watching them, she wanted to hug him and rid the worry on his handsome face. Why was he worried? She wondered.

  ‘Dylan’s right. We couldn’t have done this without you. Your belief in us, your patience with us and your guidance have given us more than we could have ever dreamed.’ There were more ‘awws’ from the crowd as Levi spoke, but he didn’t stop there. ‘Sabrina?’ Sabrina felt her legs turn to jelly as Levi’s usually light and playful tone turned serious. ‘Sabrina, I don’t know how you always manage to smell like sunshine and flowers or how you remain calm and kind even to those people who don’t deserve it. You always have a bright smile to offer me that matches your dresses and knocks me for six every time I lay my eyes on you. Your need for organization and sheer stubbornness to keep things neat and tidy and put everything back in its place has a way of driving me crazy while challenging me to be a better man. As odd as that may sound, it’s the little things. The first time we kissed I knew I wanted more of that and more of you. I let you go back then, but I never want to make that mistake again.’ Levi bent down to put the microphone on the floor, so now only she could hear him. Who was she kidding, you could hear a pin drop in this place right now. Levi didn’t get up, he released the microphone and dropped down to one knee, rummaging in the pocket of his cargo shorts. Sabrina’s hands flew to her mouth. Tears rushed to her eyes. She was most definitely sweating through her pink dress. Did they actually make deodorant for these kinds of situations? She didn’t think so.

  ‘Sabrina. This world likes us to abide by rules; to tell us what we should or shouldn’t be doing, who we can and can’t love, but forget all that – as far I am concerned you are my world and I adore you.’ Levi paused, fiddling with a tiny box, not dropping his gaze from hers. ‘Will you marry me?’ Levi asked.

  Sabrina’s knees shook, she gasped into her hands and promptly flung herself onto him. Levi wobbled but caught her around her waist. ‘Yes, yes, yes,’ she whispered in his ear as she held onto his cheeks planting kisses all over his face. When he put her down, she kept hold of his sweet face. His brown eyes glistened with tears, he touched his lips to hers and kissed her tenderly.

  ‘I think that’s a yes, folks!’ James’ voice sang down the microphone, reminding Sabrina where they were. The crowd erupted with applause and woos, but she wasn’t focused on them, just the man she loved with all her heart placing an engagement ring on her finger.

  ‘I cannot believe you. You are mad,’ Sabrina said, shaking her head and grinning. Levi’s features relaxed into his mischievous smile. ‘No matter what, you and I can take on the world, together,’ Levi said, placing the stunning, simple pear-shaped single stone diamond ring on her finger. His words touched her very core. They had achieved so many of their dreams together since Amanda had sent San Francisco Beat her way over three years ago. They had stood by each other’s sides navigating the crazy world of celebrity together and Levi had been her right-hand man whenever she needed him most; at her grandpa’s funeral last year and in facing Lydia’s constant put-downs. He made life fun. He was her partner in crime. They were a team. And now they were going to be husband and wife. She squealed and flung her arms around him once more. Levi scooped her up and walked her off to the side of the stage kissing her forehead and hair.

  ‘We’ve got one more song. Will you wait here for me?’ he asked, putting her down and holding her hands. She gazed at the ring on her finger and back at the man she loved.

  ‘No, I’m going to go back down there to watch. I’ll be like your number one groupie, front and centre,’ she laughed, pushing him back on the stage and blowing him a kiss. He winked then did a little jog to his drum kit as James started up the last song with his guitar riff.

  Sabrina skipped down the three steps and immediately got ambushed by Amanda and their mum and dad. ‘Congratulations darling,’ Dad said, kissing her forehead. ‘Congratulations sweetheart,’ Mum echoed, giving her a big hug. ‘I think it’s safe to say you are doing a stellar job and Levi likes your work,’ Amanda gushed, excitement in her teasing tone. She winked, pulling her in for an embrace, which made Sabrina laugh and roll her eyes. Her body didn’t quite know what to do with itself, she felt high from the nerves and happiness mixing together. The boys were halfway through ‘Right Side of Love’ – the crowd were singing along to every word with a new abundance of beautiful energy – but then it hit Sabrina.

  ‘What about Louisa and Nanna? Do you think they are going to be sad they weren’t here? I feel like we’ve left Lou out?’ The questions tumbled out of Sabrina’s mouth as she fiddled with the white-gold ring sparkling on her finger. Amanda looked to their mum and dad as the boys thanked the crowd for joining them for today’s incredibly special and intimate gig. They wished everyone a good Easter and told them to stay tuned for the new record coming soon. Sabrina looked up. Amanda and their mum and dad paused to clap and cheer the boys off stage. The crowd began shuffling out of the room, glancing at Sabrina and offering her waves, smiles and thumbs up as they left. Sabrina smiled back, waving her gratitude and thanks. She felt an overwhelming sense of love for the community they had built together; for the people that didn’t know her personally yet were happy for her.

  ‘It will be okay, love,’ Dad said, rubbing her shoulders. ‘We can FaceTime once we get home.’ She gave him a half hug in thanks, her brain swirling with pure joy and a dose of anxiety over Louisa’s absence from this once in a lifetime event.

  But once the room was empty bar her family, Sabrina’s eyes caught sight of a group of people sitting in the stands at the back of the room. Tears floo
ded her face in an instance. Amanda followed her gaze to Louisa, Luca, Nanna, Zia Sofia, Zia Rosa and Zia Emilia, who were sat with both Levi and Dan’s mums.

  ‘Bloody hell,’ Amanda expressed, rather loudly, catching Louisa’s attention. Louisa mouthed, ‘Surprise!’ before jumping up and racing over to them. Sabrina wrapped her arms around her baby sister as Amanda did the same and the three sisters jumped up and down on the spot, hugging each other tight.

  ‘Incredible band you’re managing, Bri. Bit too much talking on stage if you ask me, but excellent music,’ Louisa said with a teasing smirk as Sabrina let go of her. Amanda burst out laughing and nudged Louisa. ‘Nice one,’ Amanda said, before Louisa hugged her too.

  ‘Congratulations Bri. That was ridiculously romantic and so beautiful. I’m so happy for you,’ Louisa added. The girls’ mum and dad watched their daughters’ interaction, their eyes beaming with pride. Just by looking at her mum’s wide grin and her dad’s casual reaction to Louisa bouncing over, Sabrina knew they had been in on all this all along. Amanda, it seemed, didn’t have the foggiest. Sabrina had a feeling she knew what secret Dan had been keeping all along.

  ‘When did you get here? And did you know about this?’ Amanda asked Louisa.

  ‘Literally a few hours ago. And Levi didn’t say anything other than asking if I could come home for Easter. And, well, with the opportunity falling through with the showcase and with the boutique closed for the holidays, it made sense and I had my suspicions,’ Louisa said, as the family started to rise from their seats and head in their direction. Sabrina couldn’t wait to squish her nanna. She left Amanda and Louisa to debate the boys’ lack of trust in them keeping secrets, and raced over to Nanna.

  ‘Cara mia,’ Nanna said, reaching up to grab her cheeks and kiss her. ‘This Easter is more special than any one before. Che bella, che bella. We celebrate.’ Sabrina cuddled her nanna with tears in her eyes before her cheeks got pinched three more times by her zias and she showed off her ring to everyone. Levi’s mum didn’t hesitate to envelope her in a giant hug or hold back from saying, ‘I told you so. I knew it was you all along.’ Sabrina’s heart soared; Joanne had always made Sabrina feel like part of her family. She happily engaged in conversation with Sabrina’s zias like there was no language barrier at all. She squealed like a teenager when greeting the girls’ mum and got on with everyone like a house on fire. Though Sabrina had never thought to worry about hers and Levi’s families getting on, she felt somewhat relieved watching these exchanges.

  It wasn’t long before the boys made their way to the party congregated near the stage. Levi made a beeline for Sabrina, picking her up and spinning her around, which received a round of applause from all the family. Sabrina let out a mixture of a squeal and a shriek, unable to hide the complete high she was feeling from this evening. The show had been extraordinary to say the least and not just because of San Francisco Beat’s stunning performance. Though she wondered how she was going to explain this one to the publicist tomorrow.

  Chapter 23

  Nanna’s Easter Antipasti

  Ingredients:

  Melon (always juicy, fresh melon)

  Prosciutto

  Boiled eggs

  Mozzarella

  Bread (homemade to crunchy and soft perfection)

  What to do:

  Slice your melon so they look like smiley faces. Layer around your serving platter.

  Place a bed of prosciutto in the middle with sliced and quartered boiled eggs.

  Add balls of mozzarella between the gaps so the prosciutto doesn’t go soggy. (Make it look pretty.)

  Serve bread on the side.

  After the exhilarating high from last night’s San Francisco Beat gig and Levi’s proposal, Amanda had allowed herself to switch off her alarm and indulge in a lie-in. It was Easter Sunday, her bed felt extra fluffy, the mattress extra soft and the hunk of a man next to her extra snuggly. She didn’t think she would ever be able to pry herself out of this bed now, until her stomach grumbled informing her that it too was awake; food was calling her name.

  ‘Always hungry,’ Dan mumbled sleepily next to her, his face buried into his pillow propped up on his bulging biceps, his hair sticking out every which way.

  ‘You got that right,’ Amanda croaked, pushing his hair away from his eyes so she could see him better. ‘Are you good this morning?’ she asked, stroking his cheekbone. Dan opened his mesmerizing brown eyes that pierced into her hazel ones after a few blinks. Minutes passed as they gazed into each other’s eyes; Amanda gently caressed Dan’s face, the swirls in his pupils indicating to her that he was thinking. He shuffled, pulling one arm out from under the pillow and propping himself up on it, head against his hand.

  ‘My dad was a liar and a cheat. I never told you before because when you came to San Francisco you were trying to find yourself and get away from a man that had been treating you the same. It killed me inside. I wanted to tell you, but I feared that you would think me like my dad. Over the years I’ve wanted to get it off my chest, but the media didn’t help my case with the stories they liked to spin. I thought it was best just left in the past.’ As Dan spoke, Amanda stopped her caressing and her hand stilled on his cheek. Dan’s eyes did not desert hers. She didn’t want to rush him or bombard him with questions. She wanted to be patient for him; she had to learn.

  Dan took her hand and sat up against the bedframe bringing her with him, so she was sat on his knee, nose to nose.

  ‘I didn’t know how much it still haunted me until we got together. But again, I chickened out of telling you, too afraid that you would think I was the same and I didn’t want you to relive nightmares of what you went through with Jason. In not telling you, I haven’t been able to get it out of my mind. I’ve been torturing myself over becoming him, not being there for you, hurting you and not being able to give you all you need. It’s not that I didn’t trust you or Liam, baby girl, I didn’t trust myself and I acted foolishly and through jealousy, with not knowing what to do about it. I’m deeply sorry,’ Dan finished, reaching out and twirling a wavy strand of hers around his fingertips.

  Amanda was momentarily speechless, not quite sure how she could fully express the magnitude of the love she felt for him or the desire to protect him and get rid of his pain and so she closed the gap between them and kissed his lips softly and sweetly.

  ‘Sweetheart, I will never judge you based on someone else’s actions. You are what I need, all of you, that’s it. Our flaws, our faults and everything in between. We can’t predict the future, but I am here for you every day, to fight for you and for us. We have to be in the moment and give each other all the honestly, kindness, care, ups and downs, and love we’ve got. I admit, maybe at first there were niggles, little sprouts of old insecurities that popped up, but when I look into your eyes, when you kiss me, they disappear. I’m a different person now than I was back then. You said it yourself that in San Francisco I was finding myself and you gave me the time and patience to do that. I’m happy Dan. I’m happy in myself and I don’t need you to be perfect to make me happy and I don’t need you to give me anything but you, if you want to and are ready to give me that. You are not your dad, you are not Jason, you are you and I love you with every piece of me,’ Amanda said, an urgency to her voice as she cupped his face and looked deep into his eyes, wanting him to understand. ‘I am here for you whatever you need to get through this. I promise to be more understanding of your time for yourself and I’m so sorry that your mum had to go through that. But all I ask is that you try not to shut me out.’ Amanda paused while Dan brought her hand to his lips and kissed her fingertips, not breaking their eye contact. She smiled a small smile, allowing Dan’s confession to sink in.

  ‘I’m sorry for getting frustrated with you.’ she said, pressing her free hand to his chest. ‘I’m sorry for not understanding and not knowing all of this.’

  ‘Honey, I appreciate you saying sorry, but you have no reason to apologize to me. You didn’t know any of thi
s because I didn’t offer this information. The honesty we share empowers me; I was silly to shy away from it now, especially after four years of knowing your heart. But it is a lesson for me and one that I am sorry caused you doubt.’ Dan’s gruff voice touched her core. This was how it was supposed to be. They were good like this when they let each other in. They listened to one another; even when they each had their own troubles they listened to each other’s fears and never made each other feel like either of their emotions didn’t matter.

  ‘It is a lesson for us both, I believe,’ Amanda agreed, tracing her fingers over the black and grey praying hand tattoo just above his right pec.

  ‘Thank you, my love,’ Dan whispered in his gravelly tone, sending tingles up Amanda’s spine. ‘I’m all in for this, as long as you want me?’ His eyes flickered with a hint of inner turmoil; the confident Dan trying to beg off the negative thoughts and need to ask such a question.

  ‘I’m all in, Dan,’ Amanda said softly, resting her forehead against his. Dan’s eyes closed, a peaceful moment passing between them that further bonded their souls, deepening their connection, now no secrets were being harboured. ‘You’re stuck with me Mister, for better and for worse. You shall be my guinea pig for life,’ she added, kissing his cheek and jumping off the bed, Dan groaning and grabbing at her San Francisco Beat T-shirt as she did so.

  ‘Where are you going? I’d like you stuck right here,’ he said, pointing at the bed while brushing a hand through his messy locks. Amanda faltered for a minute, Dan’s come-to-bed eyes and kissable lips making her question whether the Easter feast she had to prepare was really that important.