Saul closed his eyes as lethargy dragged at him. He vaguely remembered wind tugging at his clothes and the scent of blood and dust. When his thoughts formed coherent sentences he’d use Denham’s phone to call Ella. He had no idea where his was.
When he resurfaced the lights were dim and a nurse was checking on him. Denham was asleep in a nearby chair. The rattle of a food trolley and the aroma of coffee were the next things he registered. This time when he opened his eyes a mental fog no longer filled his head. Natural light brightened the room and from over in the chair Denham drank from a takeaway mug.
‘Morning,’ Denham said, his greeting cheerful despite his glazed gaze.
Saul swallowed past his dry throat. ‘Morning. Sorry you had to do another all-nighter.’
‘That makes us even. I still owed you one.’ He rolled his shoulders. ‘Besides, it’s getting me ready for when baby Rigby arrives. Babies can’t be delivered in Woodlea, so even though Cressy has booked a Dubbo apartment, I’m sure I’ll be spending a night or two in a chair just like this one.’
‘I’m looking forward to meeting baby Rigby.’
‘Cressy has already bought the cutest little pair of cowgirl boots.’
Saul glanced at Denham’s phone that lay with his wallet beside his chair.
Denham bent down to reach for his mobile. ‘Before you call Ella, you should know Fliss said she looked quite shaken when she brought you in. Cressy’s also worried about her.’
The memory of Ella’s ashen face and haunted expression returned. He too was concerned. ‘I’ll keep it brief.’
Denham pressed some buttons before handing him the phone. ‘She’s probably not had much sleep. Stock have run through fences and she’s posted a list on social media of lost and found animals so she’d have a few strays at the clinic.’
Saul touched the screen to call.
The phone rang and just when he thought she wouldn’t pick up, her voice answered. ‘Hey, Denham.’
She sounded exhausted but the lacklustre edge to her voice was what troubled him the most. ‘Hi, it’s me.’
He didn’t imagine her sharp intake of breath. ‘Saul … you’re awake.’
‘Yes, and ready to come home.’
Her brief laugh emerged as hollow. ‘I bet you are. Fliss said you should be back here by mid-afternoon.’
‘Ella … thank you.’
She didn’t immediately reply. ‘Duke was the one who led me to you. It might also be an idea while Denham’s in Dubbo that he pick you up a new phone. Your other one’s in pieces.’
Saul didn’t miss the practical way in which she spoke. Her emotions were tightly locked down. He glanced at Denham who watched him, face serious. ‘I’m sure Denham would love to go shopping for me.’
‘I’m sure he will too.’
Her tone was devoid of amusement and caution had slowed her reply. His grip on the phone tightened. Her wariness had returned.
He cleared his throat. ‘Duke okay?’
‘He’s missing you but otherwise fine.’
He silenced the words he wanted to say. He needed to end the call before he caused her any more stress and before she heard in his voice that of all his pain it was his heart that hurt the most.
‘Hope your day isn’t too out of control and you can catch up on some sleep.’
‘Thanks. You too.’
He lowered the phone and stared at the screen. There’d been no mention of coming to see him in hospital when he returned to Woodlea.
Denham shook his head. ‘Don’t even think about it.’
Saul held his stare.
Denham sighed. ‘Maybe … before I drop you at the hospital we could swing by the vet clinic on the off-chance Ella’s there. It is Sunday you know, and Fliss will smell a rat if we’re late.’
The trolley clattered outside his door as Saul’s breakfast arrived. He handed Denham his phone. ‘We’ll just have to leave earlier.’
Despite his desperate need to see Ella and to leave Dubbo Hospital, it wasn’t until after lunch that he was cleared to go. Denham not only had time to show him the photos of Hewitt’s irrigation pivot that had flipped over in the storm and buy Saul a new phone and clean clothes, he’d also completed two jobs for Cressy.
‘Okay?’ Denham asked as he clipped in Saul’s seatbelt.
Even though he was supposed to have travelled to the Woodlea Hospital in a patient transport vehicle, Fliss had pulled strings so Denham could take him. Weak and frustrated, he managed a nod. On the short walk through the car park he’d savoured the fresh air that washed over his face and the warmth of the sun on his shoulders. Soon he’d be back in hospital with the PICC line in his good arm hooked up to intravenous antibiotics and yet more people intruding into his personal space.
He hadn’t realised he’d sighed until Denham’s voice said quietly, ‘Hang in there, mate.’
For most of the drive he slept. But as yarn-bombed windmills signalled they were nearing Woodlea he forced himself to stay awake. He had to be clear-headed if Ella was at the vet surgery. He’d use the excuse of needing his sim card from his damaged phone to see her. Until they met face to face he wouldn’t have a chance of finding out what was going on between them.
Denham glanced at him as they entered the town limits. ‘You sure you’re right to do this?’
He ignored the hammering in his head and the throbbing in his arm. ‘I am.’
Denham stopped in front of the vet clinic. The closed sign on the front door was to be expected but Saul had been hoping to see lights on inside. Denham drove around to the back. There were no cars parked near the stables, not even the vet ute.
‘Sorry, mate,’ Denham said as they returned to the main street.
Saul was saved a reply as Denham’s phone rang. He answered using the buttons on the dashboard.
Fliss’s voice sounded. ‘Hi, guys, just checking in to see how far away you are?’
Denham swapped a look with Saul before he answered. ‘Not far.’
‘Great. Just in case you were thinking of making a detour, Ella’s dropped Saul’s old phone here.’
‘Detour?’ Denham said with a laugh. ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’
‘I’m sure you don’t. See you soon.’ She paused. ‘You also might want to check your rear-view mirror.’ She ended the call.
Saul made no effort to check the side mirror.
Denham groaned. ‘Just as well you can’t turn around. Edna’s cheery wave isn’t always something you want to see.’
For once Edna was the least of his concerns. He closed his eyes, bracing himself for when he arrived at the hospital. Fliss would be all business and he wouldn’t be able to get away with saying that he was fine and right to go home.
He’d been injured enough times to know the drill. His head injury meant he needed to take it easy for at least the next two weeks while his broken arm could take eight weeks to heal. Denham might know of a young local keen on farming who could help out for the next month or two. With there still being no rain he wouldn’t be putting in any winter oats.
As Denham parked outside the red brick hospital building, Saul paid no attention to the panoramic view. He’d be counting down the hours until he was back amongst the rolling golden landscape with Duke and his bison and not looking at it from behind glass. Pain that had nothing to do with his head or arm tightened his chest. Up until yesterday Ella would have been at the top of that list. Now the feeling grew that he had no right to include her.
Senses dulled, and sleep tugging at his eyelids, he answered all of Fliss’s questions with no more than a one-word answer before lying back in his hospital bed to let his IV antibiotics do their work.
He wasn’t sure how long he’d slept when an excited child’s voice questioned outside his doorway, ‘Is it this one?’
He came fully awake as Rosie burst into his room.
Her brilliant smile didn’t waver when she saw him hooked up to a drip. She’d spent so long in such a wo
rld that it didn’t bother her. She stopped to turn and wave to someone beyond the door. ‘Come on, Dad. Hurry up.’
Not waiting for Nathan, she sped over to the bed and, careful not to bump Saul, stood on tiptoes and kissed his cheek. ‘Surprise, Uncle Saully.’
He was glad he had an excuse for not sounding normal. Even if he had been fit and healthy, the love in Rosie’s large blue eyes would have still hit him right in the chest. ‘Hello, Rosie Posie. This is a surprise.’
His brother walked through the doorway, his pace slow as a grey orthopaedic boot made movement cumbersome. Behind Nathan, Hewitt gave him a wave before leaving to allow Saul to spend time with his family. Hewitt would have made the trek to Dubbo to collect Nathan and Rosie from the airport.
‘A great useless pair we are.’ Nathan’s smile turned into a grimace as he lowered himself into the nearest chair. ‘Mum would have read us the riot act for not taking more care.’
Saul shifted his legs so Rosie could climb up onto the bed. She carefully tucked herself against his good side. Her dark hair tickled his chin and smelt of vanilla.
Nathan lifted his phone to snap a picture of the two of them. ‘Amy sends her love.’
‘Thanks.’
Rosie remained silent while she examined his padded and bandaged arm. ‘Do you really have screws in there?’
‘I do.’ He glanced at Nathan. ‘My spare key’s in the tackle box in the garage and there’s plenty of food in the fridge and freezer.’
‘Thanks. We’re having dinner at Fliss’s tonight and then are on the late flight home tomorrow.’
Rosie’s animated chatter and endless questions cocooned him while Nathan swapped the contents of his old phone to his new one. All too soon a dinner tray arrived and it was time for Rosie and Nathan to leave.
Rosie patted his good hand. ‘I’ll bring my tablet tomorrow and we can watch that snowman movie. I don’t want you to get bored.’
‘I’d like that.’
‘When can I see Ella and Duke?’
‘I’ll text her.’
Rosie’s smile shone sunflower bright as she again kissed his cheek. ‘Love you, Uncle Saully.’
‘Love you too, Rosie Posie.’
Nathan gave him a smile and a nod before he followed Rosie out the door. The small hospital room suddenly felt too large and empty without Rosie’s bubbly presence.
Taking his time to type using one hand, he messaged Ella.
Thanks for the phone. New one is up and running. Nathan and Rosie are staying at mine. She’d love to meet you and Duke.
He didn’t have to wait long for a reply. Instead of the usual simple chime of his old phone, Rosie had chosen a dramatic ringtone.
Of course, I’ll pop over. How are you feeling?
I’ll be better when I’m out of here.
He didn’t add that he’d also be better when he saw her.
This time it took several minutes for her response, which consisted of a smiling emoji and a single word: Night.
His earlier unrest returned, followed by a deep-seated dread. He stared at the drip attached to his arm and resisted the urge to flick back the bed covers, disconnect himself and walk through the door.
He’d lost more than consciousness when the shed wall collapsed on him. The certainty grew that he’d also lost the woman he loved.
CHAPTER
18
‘It’s a new day.’ Ella repeated the affirmation she said every morning when she woke.
Except today it failed to lift her spirits or usher in a sense of peace. She wasn’t just numb, she was broken. It had been three days since she’d found Saul lying on the ground as though dead. The wonder of being with him had given way to a loss so consuming she’d taken time off work.
She closed her eyes and made no move to leave her bed. She stretched her hand to her side to feel the empty space beside her. The chill of cold cotton had her retract her hand.
Fliss had let her know that Saul was leaving hospital yesterday afternoon. So she’d left another carrot cake and a lasagne with Rosie and Nathan, who also had Duke with them so he would be there to welcome Saul home.
Now he was out of hospital she couldn’t avoid him. Over the past few days, as well as being incapable of seeing him, she’d tried to keep things uncomplicated between them. He needed to focus on getting better. As for how she would explain why she couldn’t be with him, even as a friend with benefits, she had no idea what she’d say. She only hoped that by this afternoon she’d have a clear path forward. She’d given herself until then to formulate a plan as Saul would have to know something had changed between them.
She opened her eyes and headed for the shower. As for finding a way to carve out her own space to learn how to live without him, she also had a plan. The strategy she’d adopted when he’d first arrived to simply stay away was no longer tenable. She’d rarely taken holidays and now that the loose ends involving Charles were neatly tied off, she felt able to return to England.
Taylor wouldn’t hesitate to come with her to see her Irish boyfriend. She just hadn’t spoken to her about it yet. Her emotions remained too volatile. She wouldn’t be able to justify her last-minute decision to take a holiday without Taylor sensing something was amiss let alone not dissolving into tears. As for what she’d tell Fliss and Cressy …
Ella pulled on short black leggings and an old Sydney University T-shirt before heading to the kitchen. Another thing she couldn’t do was pack up Libby’s room. It reminded her too much of putting away her brother’s belongings. She hadn’t had a chance to call the Sydney numbers to see if one of the three Fees was Libby’s childhood friend. Perhaps by the end of the week she’d be in a better place to do both.
The sound of a car driving on the gravel driveway had her stiffen until logic told her that Saul wouldn’t be capable of getting behind the wheel yet. Heart aching, she walked through the silent cottage. If Duke had been there he would have barked to let her know she had a visitor and already have raced to the back door.
As she opened the screen door, Cressy greeted her with a cheery smile. ‘I hope you haven’t eaten breakfast yet.’
‘No, not yet.’
‘Wonderful. I went a little overboard cooking bacon and egg muffins and was coming to town so thought you might like some.’
The aroma of bacon and eggs reminded her how many meals she’d forgotten to eat over the past few days.
She led the way into the kitchen that she’d stayed up late giving another spring clean. She made them both a cup of tea before they sat at the small table. Cressy had wrapped the basket of muffins in a blue-and-white striped tea towel and when she placed a muffin on Ella’s plate, it was still oven warm. At the rumble in Ella’s stomach they both laughed.
While they ate their muffin, Cressy went through what changes she’d made to her nursery plans. She’d now decided on an animal theme and had found prints of a local artist that would be perfect. She showed Ella the designs of a foal, calf, lamb and duckling that she had on her phone.
After she returned her phone to her handbag, she gave Ella one of her no-nonsense looks. ‘Ella … we’re all worried about you.’
‘I’m … fine.’ She chewed slowly, stalling for more time to allow the swell of emotion to subside. ‘I had a busy weekend.’
‘You did but that’s not why you’ve lost weight, haven’t slept and have that look of fragility you had when you arrived.’ Cressy paused. ‘As for you taking time off work …’
Ella remained silent as she assembled her words. Cressy needed to know why she’d been struggling since her wedding and why she now appeared such a wreck. All her friends did. She couldn’t let her past control her anymore even if her future felt so uncertain.
She let out a deep breath and wrapped her hands around the warmth of her mug. ‘Seeing Saul lying there … I’ve lost people I’ve cared about before.’
‘Oh, Ella.’ Cressy touched her arm.
As Ella filled Cressy in on the gaps in her life,
tears welled in her friend’s eyes.
‘I had no idea you had a brother. I thought you were an only child.’
Her own eyes teary, she went to collect her phone from next to the microwave. She opened a folder that contained much-loved images.
Cressy scrolled through the photographs. ‘Aiden looked so much like you and you both take after your mum.’ She held up a photo of Aiden dressed in skydiving gear. ‘He was a bit of a thrillseeker, I think.’
The picture was one of Ella’s favourites. ‘He was my complete opposite. He thrived on unpredictability and adrenaline. His favourite saying was “just go for it”.’
‘Sounds like Fliss and me.’ When Cressy came to the end of the photos, she handed the phone back to Ella with a wry grin. ‘I’m not going to ask to see any of Charles.’
‘Just as well, because I don’t have any. I deleted them as they reminded me of the perfect man I thought I’d lost. Now they’d have been deleted because they’d have shown me what a young fool I’d been.’
‘I’m glad things didn’t work out as then you never would have come to Woodlea. Speaking of perfect men … you and Saul only had eyes for each other the night of Edna’s party.’
Ella tried and failed to stop herself from tensing. ‘You know, I actually convinced myself no one would notice and that we could keep things a secret.’
‘That’s an all too familiar blissful bubble, but when reality intrudes, it doesn’t have to burst.’
Ella swallowed past the emotion lodged in her throat. ‘It was a bubble I shouldn’t have been in.’
‘Why? Didn’t you want to be in there?’
‘I did and still do … more than anything I’ve ever wanted … but it’s just not an easy place to be.’ As her voice cracked, she took a sip of tea.
‘Ella, you deserve to be happy and so does Saul. What you have is real. That’s all there is to it, no matter what that clever brain of yours keeps saying.’
Ella didn’t reply, just stared at a blemish in the wood of the table.
The Boundary Fence (A Woodlea Novel, #7) Page 27
