Cressy rubbed her arm. ‘You’re sleep deprived, in shock and need time to process things. You’ve done the right thing taking time off. What are you doing today?’
This was a question Ella could answer. ‘Reading and taking Cinnamon and Nutmeg to the river before it gets too hot.’
‘Perfect. If you want some company later, I’ll be doing bookwork and needing a distraction.’
Ella gave her a brief smile. She knew how much Cressy hated being inside and not out in the paddocks that she loved. ‘I will. Thank you.’
They each ate another muffin as talk turned to the aftermath of the storm.
When they both stood, Cressy gave her a hug. ‘Everything will fall into place. I mightn’t know when it will rain but I do know you and Saul belong together.’
Even though Ella nodded, after she’d walked Cressy out and the driveway dust had settled behind her silver ute, she let her pretence slip. There was no way forward with Saul that didn’t require risk. And as much as she wished she could handle such uncertainty, the truth was she simply couldn’t.
Once inside she filled a water bottle before fitting her beach towel into a small backpack. With her Woodlea vet cap pulled low, she headed out to open the gate to Cinnamon and Nutmeg’s paddock.
With Cinnamon ambling beside her, and Nutmeg jumping off anything above knee-height, they made their way along the track to the river. Despite the fresh blue of the sky and the serenity around her, the sun failed to thaw the chill inside and the warble of a magpie didn’t make her smile like it usually did. She kept her eyes on the path in front of her and away from the nearby boundary fence. She needed to clear her thoughts so she could finally think of what to say to Saul when she went to see him that afternoon. This would be one time when it would be essential to have a plan.
At their usual place by the river, where the bank gently sloped to the shallows, Ella spread out her towel in a patch of cool shade. She lay on her stomach. Cinnamon and Nutmeg grazed close by. Exhaustion caused her eyelids to grow heavy. She fought to keep her thoughts clear. But between the gentle rush of running water and the lilting notes of birdsong, her eyes closed and she rested her head on her arm.
Her respite was short-lived. Nutmeg bleated her strangled cry before a wriggling mass of soft Australian shepherd burrowed in beside her, trying to lick her face.
Despite driving the gator at low speed and avoiding as much of the rough patches of road as possible, the trip to the river seemed to shake every bone Saul had. His arm ached and the bruises along his hip that were now more yellow than blue weren’t impressed he’d left the house. Fliss might have specified no driving but he’d made the executive decision that steering a gator didn’t count.
Duke had disappeared over the riverbank and there was no point whistling him back. He hadn’t come to surprise Ella or to catch her off guard. Duke would have found her and his presence would give her the heads-up he’d soon be along too.
Since Duke’s snake bite he and Ella had barely been apart. Now he hadn’t seen her for four days. To anybody else the cake and dinner she’d delivered, along with her note saying she hoped he was feeling better, would have appeared warm and caring. It’s just that after the intimacy and closeness they’d shared over the past week, it was a no-brainer something was seriously wrong.
Nathan hadn’t said anything but he’d given him a long look when he’d mentioned meeting Ella. As for Rosie, she was already besotted with her. She’d said Ella was as beautiful as a real-life princess and that he should get her to help them build the hay bale castle he’d promised to make the next time she visited. Saul only hoped his expression hadn’t been as desolate as how he’d felt on the inside.
He’d gone to call Ella twice last night but hadn’t pressed the dial button. He needed to be patient. He’d be a fool to rush in when seeing her in person was the only way to talk through whatever had caused her to pull away. When he’d caught a glimpse of two brown-and-white goats walking along the boundary fence in the direction of the river, resolve filled him. He wasn’t waiting any longer to go after the woman he loved, even if Dr Fliss took him to task for driving.
The gator engine chugged as it negotiated the rise over which Duke had disappeared. Ella had walked with the goats to the same spot where he’d seen her while in the tinny with Tanner. As the slope below came into view, he saw her come to her feet before turning to look at him. His jaw locked and tension set his shoulders like granite. She didn’t wave.
He parked, then made his careful way out of his seat. By the time he stood clear of the gator, Ella had reached him. She stopped a body length away. Their eyes met. He again saw the bleak despair that had caused his deep uneasiness in the hospital. Her skin was far too pale and smudges of exhaustion shadowed her face. As the silence lengthened she wrapped her arms around her chest.
He spoke before he could reach out and touch her. ‘Hi.’
‘Hi.’
Her reply was so quiet he barely caught it.
Duke sat between the two of them, looking from one to the other.
He swayed as he calculated how many steps were needed to make it over to the fallen tree that would give him a place to sit. His knees would just have to support him until he got there.
Ella’s eyes widened before she closed the distance between them to slip an arm around his waist. Without speaking, he put his arm around her shoulders. He didn’t need her help, but this might be his last chance to feel her warmth against him. As he eased himself onto the tree trunk, he had to force his arm to drop from around her.
She sat a careful distance away before facing him. Her features had settled into the expressionless mask he knew so well from the night they’d met.
Her chin lifted. ‘I was planning to see you this afternoon. I still can if it would be better to talk somewhere more comfortable.’
He shook his head. Even the drilling against his temples wasn’t going to stop them from having the conversation they needed to have right now. ‘Here’s fine.’
‘Are you sure?’ A fleeting smile shaped her lips. ‘If you pass out and I have to call Fliss, we’ll both be in trouble.’
‘I’m sure.’
‘Saul … I’m so sorry I never came to see you. I couldn’t.’ She paused as her fingers twisted together. ‘I’ve been trying to think of the right way to say this but I just need to come out and say it. I can’t do friends with benefits. I can’t do anything. I know it’s a cliché … but it’s me not you.’
‘I understand. Something about what happened has thrown you.’
For a long second he thought she wouldn’t speak, then when she did the sheen of distress darkened her eyes. ‘Seeing you on the ground and unconscious in the car … I thought I’d lost you.’
He reached for her hand. She didn’t curl her fingers around his. ‘You’re not going to lose me.’
She remained motionless and stared over his shoulder.
He caressed her cheek to try and bring her back to him. ‘Ella, talk to me.’
‘If I could, I would.’
‘You can. The words are there. You don’t need to think of the perfect way to say things or to plan every step. It’s okay to not always be in control. It’s okay to feel like the world’s spinning. I’ve been there. The sun will still come up tomorrow.’
The gold in her eyes shimmered with unshed tears. ‘You sound like my brother.’
He nodded, giving her the space for her emotions to settle. She broke eye contact and rubbed at her scar. As if suddenly conscious of what she was doing, she glanced at her hand before slowly lifting her arm.
This time when she spoke her voice sounded steady. ‘My scar reminds me every day what happens when I lose control. Charles had asked me to marry him and I’d said no. I wasn’t ready and yet he made me feel guilty and selfish. The weekend of our accident it was snowing and I was behind the wheel. When he said he had something important to ask me I thought he was going to propose again. Distracted and upset he hadn’t li
stened to me the last time, I wasn’t concentrating. Then, this tractor flew around the corner …’
This time when Saul took her hand, her fingers linked with his. ‘It was an accident. Charles said so in his letter. What happened had nothing to do with you being out of control.’
When his words didn’t ease the tension stiffening her hand, he spoke again. ‘You’ve had more loss and uncertainty in your life than anyone should bear, but you also cope with unpredictability far better than you think. Look at the work you do. Sometimes the outcome is simply beyond anyone’s control.’
When she didn’t reply, he thought he still hadn’t reached her. Then her grip on his hand strengthened. ‘I’m scared.’
‘I am too, not about what lies ahead but of not having you in my life.’
‘If I lost you, I’d fall apart.’
‘You can’t lose me if I’m not going anywhere. I’m here to stay.’ He lifted their joined hands and pressed a kiss across her knuckles. ‘I love you, Ella.’
She remained still, then she touched his jaw. ‘You love me?’
‘More than I can say. I never truly loved Trish; if I had, I would have fought for her and Caleb instead of walking away.’ He paused as his throat tightened and words thickened. ‘I will always fight for you. We don’t need a plan, just each other.’
His gaze held hers. Whatever she saw in his expression caused her fingers to tremble in his.
‘My fears have controlled me long enough. All we do need is each other.’ She stopped to smile her beautiful smile. ‘I love you too, Saul, and I’m also not going anywhere.’
Incapable of words, he slid his hands into her hair and kissed her.
Breathless minutes later, they drew apart just enough so they could look deep into each other’s eyes. Even then he found there was too much distance between them.
He brushed his mouth over hers. ‘For the record, jet lag isn’t the reason I look so dazed in the wedding photographs, and also friends with benefits doesn’t cover staying over at each other’s places.’
Her lips curved against his. ‘You have no idea how many red heart emojis I’ve had to delete from my texts. Now I’m taking you home before Fliss calls to check on you.’ She stole a quick kiss before pulling him to his feet. ‘I’ve also got the whole week off so no more sneaky driving for you.’
Her arm around his waist, and his encircling her shoulders, they walked towards the gator. Except their progress was halting, not because of his injuries but because he had to keep kissing her to prove to himself that he hadn’t lost her. When they finally reached the gator, Cinnamon and Nutmeg lifted their heads from where they grazed before wandering along the track that would lead them home. Splashing sounded as Duke left the river. When he drew near, he shook himself so water droplets flicked all over them.
Ella’s soft laughter contained a joy that made his heart whole. He again sought her mouth. His dreams of finding someone to love and to raise a family with, dreams he’d thought were nothing but dust, had been fulfilled.
CHAPTER
19
‘I think my workaholic days are over,’ Ella said with a smile as she settled onto Saul’s lap where he sat at her kitchen table finishing his breakfast coffee. ‘Who knew having time off could be so relaxing.’
The long T-shirt she’d worn as a nightshirt rode up high on her right thigh but she made no move to tug the hem lower to cover her scar. The days of hiding herself were over.
Saul wrapped his good arm around her. ‘Speak for yourself about having time off. I’ve got a full day ahead.’
Ella ran her fingers along the stubbled line of his jaw. ‘Since when? Fliss hasn’t given you the all-clear?’
‘Since Denham heard Edna say she’d be dropping round today.’
Ella masked a smile. ‘I thought you were fine with Edna?’
‘I am when I know I can make a quick getaway.’ He frowned at the sling securing his arm. ‘I can’t quite move as fast as I used to.’
‘Don’t forget we’re visiting Violet so that will at least have your morning covered.’ Every day they’d talked about going to Woodlea but so far they hadn’t left Ella’s cottage. Content with their own company, they’d made up for the time apart when Saul had been in hospital.
She dropped a kiss on the top of his head as she came to her feet. ‘This afternoon then I’m sure I can think of something to keep you busy.’
His grin made her wish that they could have another day to themselves but Gemma had driven ten hours with her father and had asked that Saul, Ella and Fliss meet them at Violet’s mid-morning. Ella bent to pat Duke who’d claimed the spot beneath the air-conditioning before heading off to finish packing another box from Annette’s room. So far she’d phoned one of the Sydney numbers for Libby’s friend Fee and it hadn’t been her. She’d call the final two possibilities when back from Violet’s later on today.
The pipes in the old cottage creaked as Saul took a shower. Ella smiled as she sorted through the bottom drawer in Annette’s cupboard. Saul had walked through the doorway at Cressy’s wedding and her world had never been the same. But just like Saul had said, every day the sun came up and every day she opened her eyes to see him beside her.
She hoped Aiden would be proud. She’d thrown her fears into the wind and just like he’d always encouraged, she’d gone for it. As difficult as it had been to take that final step into the unknown, she finally had. With Saul she now knew without a doubt she’d be safe. She no longer needed a plan, or to be in control, to feel comfortable or at peace.
She’d also taken two smaller steps and called her parents to tell them about Saul. Since then her mother had rung twice, once on her tablet so she could chat to Saul face to face, and her father had invited the two of them for a weekend in Adelaide.
When the cardboard box at her feet was full, she closed the lid and gazed around Annette’s empty room. Even though Gemma hadn’t said anything, since Simon was making the long trip with her Ella guessed they’d made the decision to tell Violet who Gemma’s real father was. She also suspected Fliss was invited, not only because she was involved in looking for Libby, but if the news about who Gemma’s real father was upset Violet then medical help would be at hand.
Bare feet sounded on the hallway floorboards before Saul came up behind her smelling of fresh soap and sundried cotton. He brushed back the hair on her nape to kiss her neck. ‘Everything okay?’
‘I hope so.’ She turned to slip her arms around his waist. ‘I’m worried about Gemma and Simon’s visit.’
He nodded. ‘My creaky old bull-rider bones tell me it’s either going to rain or today’s going to be difficult for Violet. If it is, she’s surrounded by people who love her and will help her through.’
Violet wasn’t the only one surrounded and supported by love. She leaned into Saul’s warmth and strength. She still couldn’t believe he was part of her life. A thorough kiss made her forget all about the time until his good arm lowered from around her.
‘You’d better get dressed or we’ll be late,’ he said, voice husky.
She snuck a final kiss before she moved away. While she still liked to be on time, being late didn’t fill her with the same dread it used to.
They arrived at Violet’s just as Fliss left her four-wheel drive. She gave them a wave as she walked over to open Saul’s passenger side door.
‘How’s my model patient?’ she said, looking into the F-truck with a smile.
Ella lifted a brow. ‘Are we talking about the same patient I’ve been trying to keep still for the past two days?’
‘Of course. Saul was so well behaved in hospital that I wish all my patients were like him.’
Saul grinned. ‘Make sure you tell that to Denham.’
‘I will.’
Ella shook her head as she left the F-truck to collect the chocolate slice she’d brought for morning tea from off the back seat. Before they’d left Saul had been sitting in the driver’s seat determined to drive.
&n
bsp; As they walked along the path to Violet’s front door, Fliss tucked her arm in Ella’s and said quietly, ‘I’m so happy for you. Cressy and Denham’s wedding wasn’t just a day of new beginnings for them. But please … keep Saul out of my emergency department. Having him there with no shirt on was far too disruptive.’
Ella was still smiling when Violet opened the door.
‘Hello, there.’ Violet looked between them. Today her cheeks had a tint of colour and her gaze was clear behind her thick glasses. ‘Saul, what am I going to do with you?’ She focused on his broken arm. ‘You scared me half to death.’
Saul’s grin turned sheepish. ‘Sorry.’
She beckoned them to come inside. ‘I’ll put the kettle on.’
After Ella arranged the chocolate slice on a plate and placed it on the table, she sat between Saul and Fliss on the lounge. Violet had already shooed the two of them out of the kitchen.
A knock sounded. Violet’s smile softened her face, making the years melt away. She shuffled over to open the door.
Gemma and Simon entered. Ella could now see where Gemma had inherited her height from. As well as being tall, her biological father had a kind face, blue eyes and salt-and-pepper hair. But otherwise Gemma very much resembled her mother.
When introductions had been made and hugs exchanged, everyone settled around the small living room. Gemma sat with her father at the table with Violet. While Violet poured everyone’s tea, Ella offered around the chocolate slice. Gemma’s serious gaze met hers and Ella gave a nod at the unspoken message this wasn’t just a social call.
Ella returned to her seat. Gemma glanced at the clock on the wall before reaching across the table to take Violet’s hand. ‘Oma, Dad and I have something to tell you.’
Simon cleared his throat. The concern tensing his mouth reassured Ella that he was a man who cared deeply about the impact of what he was about to say. ‘Violet … I don’t want you to think any less of Annette … but there’s something you should know. Unlike Jeb I never had the confidence to act on my feelings for Annette until they were on a break …’
The Boundary Fence (A Woodlea Novel, #7) Page 28
