Barely Above Water

by Pallotta, Gail;

  “Hi. Elaine from Dr. Remer’s office. I’m sending an e-mail about the activities you wanted to cover at the schools.”

  “Great. Could you include contacts and phone numbers also?”

  “Absolutely.”

  Suzie hung up and threw her pencil in the air. Her chosen career path wasn’t a thing of the past. Did she have enough stamina to coach and write? She’d find it.

  She charged to the glass table, organized the papers for the freelance writing into neat stacks, labeled each one with a sticky note, and headed to her work space upstairs. Energy flowed through her without her mind demanding her body to move with each step.

  She laid the information she’d gathered by her computer, sat down, and stared at it. Vitality pulsed through her muscles like a sprite telling her not to waste it. She’d yearned for a swim. Did she dare try one?

  She shot up from the chair, tugged on her suit, pulled a beach towel out of the white wicker chest, and slipped out the door. Lights shone in the windows of the condos she passed. The aroma of grease mixed with salt wafted on the breeze. Fried chicken in one unit, hamburgers in the other. The scent of tomatoes cooking teased her nostrils. Vegetable soup? All the smells that never lingered in her kitchen made her mouth water. Would she eat those foods one day? A twinge of sadness pricked her heart as she strolled underneath the spotlights across the shadows on the asphalt.

  Soft lighting fell on thatched table umbrellas. Resembling tiki hut roofs, they lent a tropical touch to the pool. The dark brown chaise lounges sat vacant in a neat row in front of the pool house, the whir of the pump running inside it cutting into the silence. She couldn’t ask for more. No one here to see me make a fool of myself if I can’t swim across the pool.

  Memories of nervousness over competing and the glory of winning bounced in her head as she tucked her hair underneath her cap. Was she making a mistake? Would this simple swim set back her progress? Would it dampen her spirits if she slogged through the water? It’d been so long. How could she not be sluggish? She adjusted her goggles, her hands trembling. Then she sprang into a dive.

  Rippling water caressed her tired, tense muscles as she pulled into freestyle. Like cavorting with an old friend, the action soothed her nerves as she moved in her nighttime water world by the glow of lights in the pool.

  At the wall, she took a breath then flipped. Heading to the other side, she turned her head toward her shoulder and breathed in, the rhythm, the joy surging through her as though she’d never left the sport.

  Fifteen laps and she tired. Her heart sank in disappointment. She used to swim several miles, but she hadn’t swum in over three months. She’d be a little rusty even if she didn’t have the malady. Next time, she’d soar across the surface of the water the way she used to. She just knew it.

  She grabbed hold of the handrail and stepped up three wide steps to the deck, water dripping from her body. The sensation of health and strength that used to pulse through her at the end of a workout seeped into her pores then disappeared all too quickly. She wasn’t sure whether or not she had imagined it, but she rejoiced in even the tiniest signs of normalcy and accepted them as steps in the right direction. Thousands of twinkling stars beckoned to her as she pulled on a t-shirt. She wished on all of them.

  In her mind’s eye, her teammates crowded around her and the three other swimmers who earned a Top Ten time when she swam butterfly on the Blue Mountain medley relay at the state meet in Charlotte. Could she even cross the pool from one end to the other swimming that stroke now? Life as she once knew it was gone. With every fiber of her being, she yearned to regain the stamina to write, swim, and date.

  There were things in this world she simply didn’t understand. If Mom were here, she’d tell her to take one day at a time and keep moving forward. Wasn’t that what she was doing? Why did she feel as though she were stuck in mud?

  At eleven o’clock, she meandered back to her apartment and fell onto her bed. Maybe postponing church on the beach was for the best. She could hardly hold up her head. Sleeping in tomorrow would be good for her.

  * * *

  Sunday morning, Suzie jumped as her insides raced and shaking jarred her. The clock hadn’t gone off, because she hadn’t set it. Apparently, rest was too much to hope for. Wait. No weakness again today. Was that symptom gone for good? Getting rid of any of them would be a blessing. The others subsided by eight-thirty.

  Suzie swung her legs over the side of the bed and slipped her feet into her bedroom shoes with frog heads on the toes. Her girlfriends at the Western Insider had given them to her before she moved. “Rib-it. Rib-it.”

  She padded down the steps to the kitchen, pulled protein powder out of the cabinet, and sprinkled chocolate grains over her yogurt. She dared not forget it. Dr. Granger said she could only eat the carbs if she used the supplement to regulate her blood sugar. She gulped down breakfast and licked the spoon. With every ounce of energy left in her, she intended to go forward. Never backward.

  She hurried upstairs to the spare bedroom/office to start on the articles. Butterflies danced in her stomach as she sank in her seat and turned on her computer. It’d been a long time since she’d written anything. What if Bill Collins didn’t like her work? A chill fell over her as she stared at the intimidating blank page. Finally, she plucked out the first sentence.

  The eighth-grade girls and boys from Simpson Street Middle School had a splashing good time at their end-of-the-year swim party held at the home of Mr. and Mrs. Frank Sanders on May twenty-fifth. The tradition, which started in 1980, marks the students’ rite of passage to high school.

  Suzie’s fingers flew across the keyboard as she finished the write-up. She still had the other pieces to complete, and all of them would need editing. With God’s help, she could do it. She stretched then typed, fast and furious.

  * * *

  Matt drew the burgundy and gold drapes on the window in the motel room in Deerfield, Florida, and plopped down in the green and gold easy chair. “Whew.” The presentation was done at last. He loosened his tie and kicked off his spit-polished, black shoes with tassels on the toes.

  Bermuda shorts and oxford cloth shirts waited for him in Destin. After this grueling week, he’d welcome taking care of the kids on the swim team. He chuckled out loud. Joey never ceased to amuse with his antics, pulling the little girls’ pigtails, not to mention Jay flirting with Mindy. Had he asked her out yet?

  Then there was Suzie. Not spending time with her left him as flat as a punctured tire. Silly feelings for him? Maybe, but he’d yearned to see her ever since he’d left. He’d like nothing more than to sit with her tonight on the deck of The Wharf.

  The thing that puzzled him—how did she wiggle her way into his heart? Good looks, yes, but that wasn’t it. Intelligent, yes, but that wasn’t it. He knew plenty of attractive, smart girls, but they weren’t Suzie. Obviously, she faced a personal battle that forced her to give up her job and move to Destin. Otherwise, leaving a great career to coach a summer league team made no sense.

  How did she give such a high level of commitment to a job when it wasn’t a passion? When she took over, the Okaloosa Dolphins wasn’t really a team. It was a disorganized mess. He didn’t understand her strength, endurance, and happiness.

  A smile tugged at his lips. He didn’t even mind going to church. He’d attended worship services his entire life with his family until illness struck Dad and they fell on hard times. Heat crept up his neck as he remembered how those good, Christian people hounded his father to pay his bills and threatened him with lawsuits until the day he died. Tears welled up in Matt’s eyes. He and Dad hadn’t been close, but it hurt to witness anyone treated that way. The difficult situation only worsened their already dysfunctional relationship. He hadn’t set foot in a church since his dad’s funeral. He balled his hands into tight fists.

  No amount of casseroles and baked goods, hugs and smiles after-the-fact could make up for what they did to his dad and him. He ran his hand across his
forehead. Busy bodies. Scheduled do-gooders. Where were their hearts?

  Someday he had to forgive them for his own sake. Living with loathing for any group of people wasn’t good for him. For now, the point was, he wasn’t going to that church. He’d asked Suzie to the beach service. He picked up the phone and tapped out her number.

  “This is Suzie.”

  “Hey, what’s goin’ on?”

  “Matt, how are you?” Joy rang in her voice.

  “I’m doin’ okay. Did you miss me?”

  “Yeah. Harold’s not nearly as good with the kids as you are.”

  “Ahh, come on now. You missed me, didn’t you? I missed you.”

  “Sure. I’ll be glad to see you. Are you home already?”

  “No. I’m still in south Florida at the Parks and Rec National Convention. It’s over, but I have to tie up a few loose ends. I’ll call during the swim meet Monday to see if everything’s all right.” He wanted an excuse to hear Suzie’s sweet voice again. “Do you have everything you need for it?”

  “Yes. I’ll probably have the usual surprises.” Suzie chuckled. “If they’re usual, I guess they can’t be surprises. It seems I always have swimmers who don’t show or those in the first event who run late, and I’m never expecting it. We’re competing at the Willow Tree Barracudas’ home pool, and we’re ready to go.”

  “Sounds like a ferocious opponent, but I’m sure the kids are prepared.” Matt tapped a pencil on the small laminate table beside him. “I haven’t forgotten about our church date. We’ll go when I get back.”

  “That’s great. I can’t wait. I can’t even imagine how beautiful a service on the beach will be.”

  Her enthusiasm made the call and his sacrifice of attending worship worthwhile. “All right. I’ll talk to you on Monday.”

  They hung up, and Matt gazed into the quiet room, all the luster from the sound of Suzie’s voice gone. Instead of past pain and current emptiness gnawing his insides, the anticipation of seeing Suzie filled him. Was she the piece missing in his life?

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  Suzie’s heart soared like a rocket as she hung up her cell phone and laid it on the white pine table turned desk. Matt missed me! She fingered a loose thread on the navy and gray checked cushion on the straight-back chair. Carson had told her it embarrassed him to be out with her every time her hands shook at a dinner table in a restaurant. He’d screamed, “No guy will ever want to go out with you.” She shivered, but then a smile bubbled inside. Matt did.

  He never seemed disturbed by her symptoms. It was as though he didn’t see her hands shaking, that she looked pale, or she’d lost weight. Well, he hadn’t known her when she was twenty-five pounds heavier. She may have been a little overweight then.

  Someday would she be healthy and have a new relationship with a nice guy, maybe Matt? God was greater than this disease. With His help and Dr. Granger’s treatments, she’d be well soon, and Matt would never know she’d had this dreadful illness.

  Joy danced on her nerve endings as she wrote down the details for the upcoming swim meet. If only she could help these kids win. Of course, winning wasn’t everything. Using the talent God gave them was, but they’d worked so hard. In a casual conversation, Ellie had said she would run the bullpen. Suzie hoped with all her heart Ellie would come. She’d brag on the kids, win or lose.

  Suzie punched in her number.

  “Hello.”

  “Hi, this is Suzie Morris. How are you?”

  “Tired, but fine. How about you? Are things going okay with the new job?”

  How kind of Ellie to ask. “Yes, I’m settling in. Actually, that’s why I’m calling. These kids need all the assistance and encouragement they can get at the upcoming meet.”

  “You’re doing a great job with them, bless their little hearts.”

  Suzie chuckled. “Thank you. I need an assistant to direct them to their events Monday night. Are you still available?”

  “Sure. As I said, I’m driving them over in the bus, so I’m planning to stay. I’ll do whatever makes life easier for you.”

  “That’s great. I appreciate it.”

  They hung up, and Suzie ran her finger across Ellie’s phone number on her cell. A friend in Destin.

  She shuffled papers on her desk until she found the instructions for away meets. Who would assist Ellie? She had to supply two people to time the other team’s lanes. Should someone from the Dolphins keep a score sheet? It wouldn’t hurt. The Barracudas would have a scorer, but the events moved fast. John Marks said he would work at the meet, but that was the next one. She only knew Matt and Cammie. She certainly wouldn’t call Cammie. She twisted in her seat as the need to solve the problem ran over her nerves like a wire brush.

  These kids didn’t need to be shortchanged in any way, but who could she contact? There had to be someone. She crossed her leg and slung her dangling foot back and forth. Harold. He didn’t seem the type who’d enjoy a swim meet, but that was beside the point. He’d have to come and bring three people with him. He wouldn’t be in his office on Sunday night. Suzie called his cell phone.

  “Hello.”

  He sounded about as enthusiastic as a wet swimsuit.

  “This is Suzie Morris.”

  “Uh-huh. It’s Sunday night.”

  “I know it’s Sunday night, Harold. Sorry to bother you, but Matt won’t be here Monday night for the kids’ swim meet.”

  “That’s a week from now. Could you phone me at the office?”

  Suzie’s stomach knotted. “No, Harold. I don’t have anyone to do anything for these kids, and I don’t think I can sleep until I know someone’s coming to take care of timing, scoring, and the bullpen.” Suzie slept very little with this dreaded disease waking her every few hours. Something pressing on her mind exacerbated it. She could only imagine the restlessness she’d endure with staffing for the meet unresolved.

  “All right. How many volunteers do you want?”

  “You and three others.”

  “Okay, Suzie. I’ll do it. We’ll be there.”

  “Great. We who?”

  “I don’t know yet. You’ll have to trust me.”

  It was a good thing she called a week ahead. “Sure, Harold. Sorry for the interruption.”

  “It’s okay. I suppose I understand. You’re in a bad spot. Goodnight.”

  The call ended. Then Suzie sent an e-mail to Marge at Deleona Real Estate as a reminder in case Mr. Deleona wanted to attend. She held the eraser end of the pencil to her cheek. Wouldn’t the kids be excited if they won? They’d need every edge in strategy she could give them. They’d have to push themselves harder than they ever had.

  She drew a daisy on the notepad beside the computer. During relays, the swimmers grew more enthusiastic, and a win netted seven points.

  In the usual grouping, the second fastest child went first. The second child in the water was the slowest. Number three—the third fastest, and lastly, the quickest swimmer dove in and hopefully won. She sometimes used a different arrangement, slowest to fastest. Every time she’d done it, that relay had won, but could these kids pull it off? Did she have the nerve to try it? Without the right swimming personalities, the races would fall as flat as tortilla wraps and discourage the kids.

  An extremely aggressive swimmer had to go first. She read the names on the sign-up sheet and snapped her fingers. Yes. She could adjust the most accepted order in the eleven to twelve-year-old girls. Carl in the thirteen and fourteen-year-old boys would make it work for sure. He had a cutthroat vein running through him which he rarely denied. She’d have to pull some of the thirteen to fourteen year-old girls to swim on the senior relay. Lou Anne Carlia, only fourteen but quite a contester, could go first.

  Suzie tapped her pencil on the desk. Would a few strong event swimmers and the re-arrangement of three relays be enough?

  Even though this malady usually struck after she slept, what if it attacked her at the meet? Anything could happen to any coach at any time. I
f everything fell apart, could Ellie take over?

  * * *

  One week and one day after Suzie talked to Harold about the meet, she stuck her bare feet into a pair of navy flip-flops sitting on the carpet in her bedroom. She tugged on white Bermuda shorts then the navy shirt with Deleona Real Estate on the back in white letters. Her hand shook as she picked up the lineup sheet and event cards from her work space in the spare bedroom. Then she left for the first swim meet.

  In twenty minutes, she reached a subdivision with an opened black wrought iron gate. Finely manicured lush green lawns stretched in front of stucco homes, some with fountains made of metal art designs, including dolphins. Slowing to ten miles per hour, she cut her gaze toward the directions lying on the passenger’s seat.

  Left on Beach Road. More stucco homes and fountains. Right on Club Drive. Cars filled one side of the road. Must be it.

  Suzie pulled in and parked at the end of the line. Success could be out of reach by as much as fifty or sixty points or as little as hundredths of seconds. Her skin itched for a win. Would Matt be impressed even if they lost, as long as they did well and weren’t smoked? How would the kids take it if they lost? Her stomach knotted. If this swim meet had an underdog, they’d be it. Wedging two quilts underneath her armpit, she grabbed her clipboard and cards and stepped out of the car.

  Men and women toted coolers and meandered toward the end of the street, moms and dads among them, no doubt. Where was Ellie?

  A group of strangers forged ahead of her through the entryway of a white picket fence as a familiar rumble sounded behind her. Suzie’s tense muscles relaxed as the bus pulled up and stopped, its brakes squealing.

  Ellie waved. She was a good person, a good friend.

  She opened the bus door and leaned forward. “I’ll park in the lot next to the tennis courts where I’ll be out of the way.”

  “All right. Look for us in a corner where the Barracudas aren’t.”

  The kids tumbled off, and Suzie threw up her hand in stop fashion. “Wait a minute. We’ll go in together.”

  Joey fidgeted, switching his towel and bag from one hand to the other. Bob and Jay punched each other playfully. Anna chewed on her goggle strap, her eyes wide.